One Litre of Tears
by Keiko Fujiwara
Summary: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! During her first year of college, Catherine is diagnosed with a degenerating nervous disease known as Spinocerebellar Atrophy. Can she handle her disease on her own or will there be someone she can rely on as she faces the symptoms and the consequences of this disease? 100% VinCat FanFiction. Rated M for suggestive material in later chapters. Warning: SAD :'(
1. Prologue: Even Though I Cry

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

Author's Note: This fanfiction is LOOSELY based on the Japanese Drama "One Litre of Tears." There will be similar elements (like the main storyline) but there will be other things added that I wish would have happened in the J-Drama. If you like this fiction, then I suggest you watch "One Litre of Tears" at:

http (COLON) (SLASH) (SLASH) www*DOT*gooddrama*DOT*net/japanese-drama/1-litre-o f-tears

SYNOPSIS:

AU: During her first year of college, Catherine is diagnosed with a degenerating nervous disease known as Spinocerebellar Atrophy. Can she handle her disease on her own or will there be someone she can rely on as she faces the symptoms and the consequences of this disease? 100% VinCat FanFiction.

_Note: It may be best to have a box of Kleenex near you at the end of every chapter. _

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

_**Prologue: **_

_**Even Though I Cry...  
**_

"Are you sure you're all ready?" Dad asks as I finish packing the car.

"Yes, Dad." I smile as I walk up to him and give him a huge hug. "Thanks for helping me pack and I know you would love to see me off but I think it's best I go to Hudson University alone."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know it wasn't your top choice since your dream has always been to go to Princeton so are you sure you want to go alone?"

I nod. "I'll be fine. I promise. Remember, you still have to make sure Heather wakes up in time for her summer job. It starts at 10 AM and you know how lazy she can be."

"Alright sweetheart. I'm sorry your mother couldn't make it before you leave. Her plane doesn't arrive until this afternoon." I hear Dad say as I close the trunk of the car.

"Who says I wouldn't be able to make it?"

I turn around and see my mother standing next to the large oak tree in front of the house. Without thinking, I drop my purse and start running to her. It's been three months since I've seen her; she's been overseas for the past few months helping nurse soldiers back to good health. As I make my way towards her, my feet stagger a little, causing me to lose my footing.

"Easy there, Cat." My father laughs as he catches my arm before I could meet the ground's hard surface. "Don't get too excited or you'll break a leg."

"Sorry. I don't know what happened. I guess I'm just so surprised to see Mom." I reply while I carefully approach my mother and wrap my arms around her. "We thought you weren't going to be able to make it in time."

"I know." She smiles. "I purposely told your father my flight was later because I wanted to surprise you guys. I was hoping Heather would be awake but I'm sure she'll freak when she sees me making her breakfast."

"I'm glad you're home, Mom." I whisper and hug her tightly.

"Me too." She mumbles in my ear. "Now, if you don't get a move on, you're going to be late for Freshman Orientation."

"Right." I smile as I release her from my death grip. "I know Hudson University is only fifteen minutes away but I'll call you guys tonight once I'm settled in my dorm. Okay?"

"We'll be waiting." My father smiles. "Now go before you get in trouble on your first day of college."

"Gone." I laugh while getting into my car. "Tell Heather I plan on stealing her for the weekend. She seriously needs a day out since her breakup with Kevin."

"Will do!" Mom replies as both of my parents wave goodbye. I wave back before driving off into New York City to start my new life in college.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I finish unloading my things into my new room when I hear the door open from behind me. I turn around and a tall, beautiful woman walks in. "You must be Catherine Chandler. The name's Tess Vargas. I'm your roommate!"

"Hey. It's nice to meet you." I smile. "You can call me Cat."

"Sweet. Nice nickname." Tess replies.

"Thanks."

"Since you're new here, don't be afraid to ask questions. Okay? I'm a sophomore and know all of the ropes…well most of them anyways. Have you already checked in at the check-in site?"

"Already done. I pretty much have four hours of free time before freshman are required to gather in the Front Lawn for the Commencement Ceremony."

"That's legit. Hurry up with whatever you're doing because I'm going to give you a grand Tess Vargas tour of the campus! I'll introduce you to the right kinds of people and also tell you all of the dirty scoops on other students as well. If you stick with me, Cat, you'll do just fine." Tess laughs.

"I'm sure I will." First encounter with an upper classman and so far, so great! Looks like college life is looking up to me.

I follow Tess from the dorm room to the first building: the Library.

"As you could have guessed, this is Hudson University's finest library. It may contain a lot of old and dusty books but I've been able to find a few comics here and there." Tess grins. "I'm sure you can find things too. If there's nothing here to your tastes, you can always request books too but let's not worry about specifics right now because you look like you're starving and could use a good campus lunch to beef up your body a bit."

"Thanks…I think." I laugh as she grabs my hand and pulls me to the next spot on tour: the dining hall.

"Wow…there's a lot of choices." I mutter in awe.

"Yup. Food Galore." Tess states. "Want Subway? I'm buying."

"Sure." I've learned not to say no when someone offers to pay for something. The last time I told someone I did not want him to pay for me, it sent a lightning strike through his moral code and he flat out dumped me because of it. To avoid future 'raining on someone's parade,' I've decided to just kill my own principles instead and just suffer when someone pays something for me.

I tell the sandwich artist my exact order and Tess looks at me. "Dang girl! You sure do know your sandwiches!"

"I go to Subway a lot." I somewhat smile but my attention is directed elsewhere as I saw a handsome young man laughing his heart out as he is talking with friends.

"Yo Cat! Your order is ready." Tess states as she breaks me from my trance. For a brief moment, I'm sure he saw me too. Maybe I imagined it. I don't know.

"What? Huh? Oh. Right." I blush a little as I grab my plate before I follow Tess to a table.

"Vincent Keller." Tess whispers into my ear as she sits down next to me.

"Hm?"

"You were looking at Vincent Keller, a senior in the medical program. Don't deny it, Cat. I saw you red-handed." She smirks.

"Oh…well…he is rather good looking." I slightly grin.

"Not that I blame ya for staring at a hunkster but be careful. He's taken." Tess whispers as a red-headed woman wraps her arms around Vincent. "She's Alex Salter. Junior and also in the medical program."

"Darn." I mutter inaudibly. "I don't have time for boyfriends anyways. I'm not here to party. I'm here to study."

"You say that now but once you come to one campus party, you're conviction will change forever." Tess laughs. "Now, let's eat before our food runs away."

"Right." I smile before I pick up my sandwich and take a bite of it.

Just as we finished our lunch, Vincent and Alex walked by our table and if I weren't mistaken, I could have sworn his free hand grazed against the back of my arm. It was so slight that, again, I could have easily imagined it.

Tess brings me back to reality as she says, "You ready Cat? I still have to show you the rest of the campus before your commencement thing starts."

"Yeah…so what do we do with our plates?"

"We take them to that conveyer belt thing in the front of the dining hall." Tess replies.

"Okay." I scoot my chair back and then push it in before picking up my empty plate. As I start walking towards the conveyer belt, a dizzy spell washes over me and I have to lean against the pillar beside me in order to keep my balance.

"You okay?" Tess asks as she gives me a worried look.

"Yeah. I think I spun around too fast. Just give me a second." I smile.

"Alright. I'll be right back, Cat. I want to introduce you to my boyfriend. I just saw him down the hall."

"Do what you need to do. I'll be right here." I reply before she starts heading towards the hallway.

Thinking my dizzy spell is over; I gently push myself off of the column and started to slowly walk towards the conveyer belt. That was super weird. When I turn back around, I see Tess locking arms with a handsome black man as they made their way towards me.

"Told you, Tess. Good as new!" I smile and she sighs.

"That's a relief. I was worried for a moment. Don't scare me like that. I wouldn't want to be the one known as the Roommate who Cursed Her Roommate."

"Funny but I think you have nothing to worry about."

"Good." Tess replies. "Speaking of good, this is my boyfriend, Joseph Bishop. He and I are both going into law enforcement. He's a senior like Vincent."

"Nice to meet you, Joseph." I smile as I shake Joe's hand.

"Please call me Joe." He replies. "So you've met Vincent?"

"Not really…just noticed him in the dining hall." I answer.

"Yeah… _noticed_ is not what I would have said, Cat." Tess snickers.

"Oh really?" Joe looks at Tess and gestures her to continue with her thought but I gave her a dirty look.

"Really but it's a secret between best roomies." Tess winks at Joe.

"Women and their secrets." Joe sighs. "No sense in trying to open _that_ Pandora's Box. All Hell would break loose."

"And don't you know it!" Tess reminds him as she pops his bottom. "Don't stay here on my account, Joe. You have football practice and I don't want the coach to yell at me again for hogging you during the last practice."

"Alright. See you two lovely ladies later." Joe waves and jogs off down the hall.

"Now that it's just the two of us again, where shall we go to next? The bookstore?"

"Sure. Sounds great."

"Score! On to the bookstore then!" Tess exclaims as she grabs my hand and pulls me away from the dining hall. Tess sure is an interesting person.

**Beauty and the Beast**

It's been two days since the commencement ceremony and tomorrow is when our classes meet for the first time. I picked up my cell phone and dialed home. They should still be up around 11:30 PM right?

"_Hello?"_

Good. Mom picked up.

"Hey Mom." I smile, glad to hear her voice. Even though she's fifteen minutes away, I still can't help but feel homesick.

"_Hey Catherine!"_ she beams through the phone.

"I'm sorry for not calling the last few nights. Orientation has been super busy and by the time I got back to my dorm, I was worn out."

"_I figured that's what happened."_ She laughs. _"Do you have any new friends?"_

"Yeah. My roommate, Tess, is great! She's quite the ball of spirits if you ask me but she's fun to hang with. Right now she's on a date with her boyfriend's so I assume she won't be back until super late. Her boyfriend, Joe, is also a nice guy."

"_Have you met anyone else yet?"_

"A few but it's been such a long day, I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you their names." I laugh.

"_That's quite alright, Sweetie. Thanks for calling and I'll be sure to let your father know you've called. Okay?"_

"Thanks."

"_You should get some sleep. If I remember correctly, you have an 8 AM class tomorrow."_

"Yes…Choir. I'm quite excited for it!"

"_Alright. Have fun! Call me tomorrow and let me know how well your classes are going."_

"Will do, Mom. Bye." I reply.

"_Bye Catherine. Have a great night!"_

"You too." With that, I end the phone call with a click and place my phone on its charger. I guess Mom is right. I should probably get some sleep now.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Rise and shine, sleepy head." Tess smiles as I lazily wake up from my slumber. "What time is it?"

"About 7:40 AM."

As I hear her tell me the time, I jump out of bed and pull out a random outfit before stripping out of my PJs and throwing on my day clothes.

"Woah! Slow down, Cat! What's wrong?"

"I can't believe I slept in!" I exclaimed. "I could have SWORN I set my alarm for 7 AM!"

"Chill Cat. You're not going to get anything done if you keep rushing like that! You'll fall and hurt yourself if you're not careful." Tess says and realizing she's right, I slow down my pace a little bit as I put on my shoes.

"I guess I'm lucky I took a shower last night." I say while I tie the laces of my shoes.

"Guess so." She smiles. I grab a nutrient bar, my backpack and my schedule before heading out the door. Great. First day of class and I'm going to be late to Choir!

**Beauty and the Beast**

Almost there! Just a little further!

I dash across the yard, not really paying any attention to my surroundings when I trip over my own two feet and knock about fifteen bicycles down. As if my day couldn't get any more worse!

"Hey! Watch where you're running next time! A bike stand almost impaled my leg because of you!" I hear a man angrily shout as I look up. I froze. Vincent Keller. Of course.

He starts putting the bikes back in place and I try to stand up and help him. I groan in pain, realizing a bike's pedal deeply skinned my leg, leaving a nasty gash on my knee. Ignoring my personal pain, I try to help him the best I can but the pain is too great.

"Don't bother." He says rather rudely. "I can tell you've hurt your leg. If you try and help as you hop around, you're just going to cause them to fall again."

"Sorry but you aren't the boss of me." I say with aggravation. "Thanks for putting the bikes back up and all but I gotta scram. I'm late for class and need to get there!"

"Quit whining." Vincent commands. "You're not going to make it to class on time on your own. You're going to have to get your leg inspected first and foremost."

"The leg can wait. Class cannot."

"No. It can't. The cut is deep and can get a bacterial infection. Believe me, I'm a medical student and it'll down my vibe if I let you go to class with a potentially infected knee. The least I can do to clear my conscious is to get you to the nurse. Now take off your backpack."

"Why?"

"Because it'll make carrying you easier."

"Fine." I reply as I shrug my backpack off. "There. You happy?"

"Sure." Vincent states as he slips my backpack onto his shoulders before picking me up in his arms. He then bends down to grab my schedule that fell out of my hand. I sigh, knowing there is no other way around this mess. Some things just can't be helped, can it?

"What's your name?" he asks me as he carefully walks me towards the nurse's station.

"Catherine…Catherine Chandler." I don't know why but for some reason, I don't tell him that most people call me Cat. I guess you could say a cat has my tongue.

"I'm Vincent Keller. You must be a freshman."

"What gave you that idea?" I ask, curious.

"One: I've never seen you before. Two: Only a freshman would be so clumsy and knock down an entire fleet of bikes."

"And I'm guessing you're a senior?"

"Really? No way!" he replies sarcastically. "What gave me away?"

"Oh. I don't know. Maybe it's your overly confident narcissistic attitude and your personal stereotypes about freshman." I say with just as much fire as he when he told me his reasons for me being a freshman.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you." He smirks.

"Maybe." I reply.

He kicks open the nurse's door and says, "She needs this wound cleaned and dressed ASAP."

The nurse nods and heads for a cabinet to grab some materials as Vincent puts me down on the patient's seat. Before he could make a grand escape, a professor walks in and says, "JT Forbes saw what happened, Vincent, and told me you were going to be late for class. Since we only went over the syllabus, the class was released early. I decided I would take liberty in handing you your syllabus personally. Please try to be on time for choir on Wednesday. Are we understood?"

"Yes." Vincent replies with venom in his tone. Sometime tells me he doesn't like choir class. Wait. Choir. Yes! Me! I'm in choir too! "Ummmm…sir?" I mutter softly.

"Yes Miss?"

"I think I'm in your choir class too." I say.

"Ahhh! You must be Miss Chandler!" he smiles. "I'm Dr. Andrews; director of the music program. Here is a copy of the syllabus for you too!"

"Thanks." I reply and hiss as the nurse cleans my wound with Hydrogen Peroxide.

"Because you hurt yourself on your way to class and Vincent was kind enough to help you out, I won't mark either of you two absent or tardy. Next time this happens, though, I might get suspicious and won't be so generous." Dr. Andrews replies.

"Thank you, sir, for your kindness." I say before he disappears into the hallway. Well that wasn't that bad, was it?

"All done." The nurse smiles. "Make sure you clean this wound daily with soap and water. I will give you some bandages and if you have any questions or need any more bandages, don't hesitate to stop by. Okay?"

"Thanks." I say as she gives me a bag of unused bandages. I hop off of the seat and pick up both my backpack and my schedule before stopping in front of Vincent. "Why're you still here?"

"Just making sure the nurse doesn't screw up her job." He smirks.

"Did she?" I ask as I raise my knee towards him.

"She did a fine job. I guess my wait is over then." Vincent replies. "If you can move your leg freely, it must not be too terrible of a gash."

"I'm a tough cookie." I say. "I can't stay down for too long."

"So I noticed earlier."

"Anyways, I mainly walked up here to thank you for your kindness…no matter how brash it may have seemed."

"Hey now. I'm a gentleman at heart. You just caught me at the wrong time. I was a little P.O.'ed earlier."

"Ahhhh…well now I know to stay away from you when you're pissed off." I laugh.

"Most people do." he smirks. "If anything, I should apologize for being so bitchy earlier. I shouldn't have taken my bad mood out on you."

"Don't worry about it. I wasn't Miss Perfect myself. I was running late and somewhat took my personal anger out on you." I state as we walk out of the nurse's station.

"Anyways, it was nice meeting you Catherine but I gotta fly. Class in ten." With that, he dashes away. Even if he's taken, he's still a pretty good looking guy…and nice too. Such a rare combination.

**Beauty and the Beast**

As the day went on, I saw Vincent on campus a few other times. We simply waved at each other as we passed one another. The only time he didn't wave to me was when Alex was walking with him. I could have sworn he was trying to push her away from him. Maybe they're not going out? Who knows?

As promised, I take out my phone and dial home.

"_Hey Cat!" _Heather answers.

"Hey sis. Mom or Dad around?"

"_Mom is. Dad's working on a case at the firm but Mom just got home about five mins ago. Want to talk to her?" _

"Yeah."

"_Alright but before I give the phone to her, one thing; have you met any hot guys?"_

I roll my eyes. I should have seen this coming. "Another day, Heath. Okay? I promise to tell you if anything exciting happens. Now, Mom please?"

"_Oh fine. I'm holding you to that promise, Cat."_

"I'm sure you will." I reply as I hear the phone shuffling and Heather say "It's Cat" to Mom.

"_How was your first day of classes?"_

"Horribly Awesome." I say with a smile.

"_How so?"_

"Well, I woke up about 20 minutes before class was supposed to start which put my day into a total train wreck. On my way to class, I fell down and knocked at least twenty bikes down and ended up hurting my knee."

"_Are you alright?"_

"Yes…A guy…Vincent…somewhat came to the rescue. He was a bit snarky at first but turned out to be a pretty decent guy. That's the GOOD part of my day. But I remembered that Tess said he was dating this chick named Alex so maybe it's a bad part? I don't know but it made me feel a little fluffy inside after our small conversation."

"_Could it be that people think he's dating another girl when he's actually just a single guy?"_

"I guess it's possible. I don't know…But the weird part of my day was when I was walking back to my dorm and another dizzy spell swept over me."

"_Another dizzy spell?"_

"Yeah…a few days ago, I felt dizzy for a few moments. I'm sure it's because I'm up late when I should be sleeping…Then again, I do have a tendency to skip a meal or so during the day." I reply.

"_Hmmmm…Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"_

"Why?"

"_Well, you've said you fell today and I remember you almost lost your footing before you left home the other day. It could be dehydration and if it is, I think it'll be best for a doctor to see you and make sure it isn't something serious. Perhaps you're right, it could be nothing."_

"Alright…I'll go since you asked just text me the time tomorrow and the where."

"_I will…I'll even pick you up from school. Okay?"_

"Okay. I gotta go. I have loads of homework to do."

"_Alright. Have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow."_

"Sounds good. I love you, Mom."

"_I love you too, Catherine."_

With that, I hear the line click. I put my phone on its charger and yawn. Gosh. I better not sleep in tomorrow. After finishing my homework, I pulled out my diary and wrote:

_**Dear Diary, August 20, 2007**_

_**Weird things have been happening and I'm a little worried. Mom, a doctor, thinks I should go SEE a doctor. That's a little nerve-wracking if you ask me. But because she suggests it, I'm going to go because if it is something serious, I don't want to start my school year out being sick. It's better to know what's going on immediately.**_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Catherine**_

After writing, I place my diary back in its proper drawer before slipping into bed. As I lay on my bed, I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. Am I really sick? Am I just tired from exhaustion? Is it because I eat on a weird schedule? Whatever it is, I'm scared because what if it IS something serious. I couldn't help but silently cry, wondering whether or not I'm really okay.

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

"_Since Mom has suggested I should go to a hospital, I've been wondering if there really is something wrong with me.  
Is it because my athletic ability is so poor?  
Is it because I stay up late?  
Is it because I eat irregularly?  
I couldn't help crying as I was asking myself those questions. I cried so much, my eyes hurt."_

~Aya Kitou (entry date: 1977-1978)

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**Well? Did you like the prologue? Do you want more? **

**NOTE: No Beast in this story. **

**Review! :)**


	2. And Rain Falls From the Sky

**Author's Note: **

**To get you up to speed, I made a slight change on the other chapter!**

**Instead of the year being 2002 (you'll see the change in the previous chapter when Catherine wrote in her diary), it is 2007. For this story, I wanted the 9/11 attack to happen while Vincent was still in high school. This event will play a large portion in this chapter!**

* * *

**Warning: Language in this chapter may seem offensive to readers. **

**Please do not take it as an offense to yourself. The speaker of offensive language will be punished in this chapter. I SWEAR! **

**Thanks! :)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

_**Chapter One: …and Rain Falls from the Sky**_

"Hey Cat! Wanna go shopping with me this afternoon?" Tess asks as she sits next to me in the dining hall for breakfast.

"Sorry, Tess. I can't. My mom's picking me up for…for an outing." I lie. I don't exactly want people to know that I'm going to the hospital this afternoon…especially if it turns out to be something serious.

"Oh. Alright. Maybe tomorrow then?" her eyes brighten as she begs me to plan a shopping day tomorrow.

"We'll see." I laugh. "Anyways, as much as I would love to stay and chat, Tess, I have a class at 9 AM."

"Ugh…You and your morning classes." Tess rolls her eyes. "Which class?"

"Sociology." I smile. "With Dr. Miller.

"Gross…I had him last year. She's too dried up for her own good. I know she digs Dr. Richards but he's too blind to notice and she's too shy to do something about it."

"I'll survive. I hope." I reply as I grab my bag. "I'll see you later, Tess."

"Ciao!" she waves before taking a sip of her coffee. "Don't knock down a row of bikes on your way there!"

"I won't!" I say without turning around. Gosh! Word travels fast! That's what I get for wearing this stupid bandage on my leg everywhere I go. What is it about human curiosity? If I came to school one day with a bruised elbow, people would want to know every detail of how I got that bruise. At least I'm the talk of the campus.

"You know, if you keep walking with that goofy grin on your face and dazing out, you're going to end up knocking twenty people down instead of twenty bikes." A familiar voice mutters in front of me. I wake from my thoughts and found myself standing squarely in front of Vincent.

"I wasn't grinning goofily." I defend myself even though I know he's probably right.

"Are you insinuating that I'm lying?" He asks in a jokingly manner.

"Maybe." I smile. "Love to chat but I'm going to be running late for class if I don't pick up my pace."

"Can you even run with a damaged knee?"

"Like I said before, I'm a tough cookie." I smirk. "Bye!" With that, I bite my lip as I dart to my first class. I don't care if it hurts like hell as I run. There's no way I'm going to be weak. There's absolutely no way.

Luckily, I make it in time for my sociology class and take a seat before the professor walks in the room. As I huff and puff, I feel someone tap my shoulder from behind me.

I turn around and the finger's owner smiles. "Hey. I'm Gabriel Lowen. Most people call me Gabe."

"I'm Catherine Chandler."

"Chandler…as in the daughter of Thomas Chandler, the finest lawyer in New York City?!" his eyes widen.

"Yeah…"

"I am a huge fan of your father's work! He's my inspiration for going into law." He smiles.

"Oh. Yeah, I was going to go to Princeton for law school but decided I needed a change so I came here for law enforcement." I say but couldn't finish because Dr. Miller finally walks into the classroom.

"Good morning class." She smiles a freakishly weird smile. "Since today's the first class, we're going to read the text's introduction. Anyone care to begin reading?"

Great…reading…Now I know what Tess meant.

**Beauty and the Beast**

During my midmorning break, I decide to lounge around on the campus's front lawn. At least when I'm sitting down, no damage can occur. I hear my phone ringing from inside my pocket and pull it out to answer. "Hello?"

"_Hello Catherine. I've called the hospital and you have an appointment at 3:30 PM. Will that suit you?" _

"Yes Mom. It will. My last class of the day ends around 2:50 PM."

"_Okay. I will pick you up at the University's statue around 3 PM."_

"Sounds good. Thanks Mom."

"_No problem. Call me if you feel as if you need an immediate appointment._"

"I will." I end the call and as I put it in my pocket, someone plops down next to me.

"Your boyfriend?"

I turn my head and see Vincent sitting pretty close to me with a cocky grin on his face.

"No…my mother."

"Ah. She misses you already?"

"Not really. My home is only 15 minutes away from campus. I have…some things to do with her later this afternoon. She's picking me up around 3 PM."

"Don't you have a car?"

"I do but she thought it would be easier to use one car instead of wasting gas and meeting her at the…the meeting place." I reply as vaguely as possible.

"Are you two going to a secret societal meeting?" he laughs.

"No…I…just don't want people knowing where I'm going." I say. "Besides, no offense but isn't your girlfriend going to be pretty jealous if she sees you sitting here and talking to another girl?"

"Why does everyone assume Alex is my girlfriend?" he asks with an annoyed look on his face.

"Sorry. Tess told me you two were dating."

"We're not." He replies. "I mean we were a few years ago but it's been over between us for ages. She's just too dumb to realize it and doesn't want to get over it. Alex…she just loves to cling to me and sometimes I just let her because she's too annoying when she complains. I'd rather appease her clinginess than hear her wine all day. I wish she would just get a clue though."

"Ah…"

"Yeah…" he answers and we sit in silence for almost five minutes. "How's your knee?"

"It's fine." I lie. "I'll be good as new in a week. Just wait and see."

"Have you cleaned it yet?"

"No. I haven't had time to. I'm sure it'll get cleaned at the…when I'm out with my mom." I say. "She's a doctor, you know? She works at New York General."

"That's cool. What is her study?"

"She's an infectious disease doctor." I reply as I pull at the grass beneath me.

"I have about three more years left of schooling since the doctoring program is very intence. When I get my license, I hope to get a job working in the ER." Vincent says as he looks towards the sky. "My brothers were killed on 9/11. I was an intern during my junior year at St. Benjamin's Hospital when the towers fell. I kept waiting for them to come in but neither did. They were two of the firemen who were never found."

"I'm so sorry." I say. I barely know this man yet he's being so open. Why?

"At one point, I wanted revenge and I wanted to go and fight overseas but I realized that I never wanted anyone else to lose his or her siblings like I did. That's why I decided to continue with college. If I have any power at all in saving people, I'm going to use it to honor my brothers."

I keep silent as I wait for him to continue his story but he doesn't. Instead, he apologizes. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For oversharing. I don't know why but for some reason, you're easy to talk to, Catherine Chandler."

"I'm glad I was able to help…I think. Anyways, it was nice chatting and all but I should probably go and grab something to eat before my next class." I say as I stand up.

"Mind if I join you for lunch?"

"Blunt, are we?" I laugh. "I'm sorry but not today. I plan on getting my lunch to-go so I can study in my dorm while I eat. Thanks for the offer though."

"At least allow me to walk with you to the dining hall." He suggests as he pulls himself to his feet. "Besides, I could also grab my meal to-go. It'll be nice not having to share a table with Alex for once."

"Suit yourself." I say and we walk to the dining hall together with smiles on our faces. I hope every day will be like this—happy, refreshing and easy-going.

**Beauty and the Beast**

So my plan to study while I ate some lunch did not exactly pan out as I would have hoped it would. Instead of going back to my dorm to study, Vincent and I grabbed our meals and talked almost nonstop for a good two hours (except when we were eating of course). The conversation was perfect! I don't think I've ever laughed so much in a conversation with a guy before now. Vincent, despite my first opinion of him, is a very sweet guy and I'm not surprised he hasn't put Alex in her place yet. He's too much of a gentleman for that. I hope, in the future though, he decides to tell her to back off because I really like him. He even walked me to my next class!

"Chandler!"

"Y-yes?!" I stammer when I hear Dr. Ryan, my math instructor, shout my name across the room.

"Is there something amusing you'd like to share with the class?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your mind is obviously not with the lesson so, I'll repeat myself. Is there something you'd like to share with the class?" he asks as he pushes up his glasses.

"N-no sir."

"Then start taking some notes instead of doodling hearts in your notebook." He demands and gives me the 'or else' glare any student would shiver from. As I hear snickers coming from other classmates, I slump in my seat, ashamed of my misconduct, and turn to a clean, non-doodled page of notebook paper.

As instructed, I take notes and try to follow the mathematical procedures carefully but no matter how many times I try to analyze each example he gives us, I can't figure out the math. Stupid general education class. If I didn't need this class to graduate, I definitely wouldn't be here trying to solve for 'x'. Looks like I'm going to have to find someone who knows their college algebra.

When the class ended, I hurry out of the room as fast as my injured leg could carry me before Dr. Ryan could track me down and I move towards the exit of the building. As I get closer to my dorm building, I hear two people fighting in the distance. I know it isn't my business but I'm curious so I creep closer to the sound of the argument and lightly gasp. Beyond a few bushes from behind the dorm complex, I see Vincent and Alex fighting about something. He has his hands gripped on her shoulders and he's yelling at her.

"I told you, Alex, as I have told you three hundred times in the past, I! AM! THROUGH!"

"But Vince! You and I are engaged!"

"No we're not! We may have been engaged at one time but that was four years ago! Ever since you came back from studying abroad in France, you're personality has changed, Alex! You're more vindictive and you think you have every guy wrapped around your fingers! And you know what?! I'm not going to be one of those guys anymore!"

"You say that now, Vincent, but what about in a few months? You'll be WANTING to crawl back to me!" she says with a cocky grin.

"See?! You're doing it!"

"Doing what?!"

"You think you're in this fantasy where every guy you touch becomes your pawn! I'm done playing your games! Now, get a life and screw with someone else for a change!"

My eyes widen as she slaps him hard on the cheek. "Take that back!"

"No! Tell me something, Alex! How many guys have you hooked up with since we've separated? Huh? Can you honestly tell me you haven't slept with a single guy since I broke up with you the FIRST time?!" Vincent asks with conviction. "Tell me the truth!"

She doesn't say anything.

"How about in France? How many guys did you sleep with over there at a time? One? Two? Five?"

Once again, she slaps him. "How dare you!" she hits him in the chest as hard as possible but he acts as if it's nothing. "You have NO right to say such a thing when I see you hitting on that freshman slut! What does she have that I don't? Beauty? Sex appeal? Tell me Vince! Can you honestly deny your desires for wanting to sleep with that bitch?"

"You know DAMN well my high school days are behind me, Alex! Besides, we weren't even dating back then! We didn't start dating until my senior year of high school! How dare me?! How dare YOU! You know I was going through a tough time back then! What would YOU do if your older brothers were killed on the day of 9/11 in your sophomore year?! Huh?! Yes! I admit I was a wreck in high school but aside from JT, I had NO ONE! My brothers were killed and I felt empty! I can't believe you, of all people, would pin those two dark years on me! Oh! And for the record. Even though I barely know Catherine, I can tell she's more a woman than you'll ever be! She has some kind of shine in her eyes you lack and if you EVER insult her like that in front of me again, you'll be sorry!"

"I HATE YOU!" she yells and pushes him backwards.

Vincent stands up and says, "I'm out of here."

"Wait!" she cries. "Vincent don't do this! Please don't do this!" She pulls him towards her and says, "Vincent, I'm pregnant!"

"You know damn well we haven't slept together in ages, Alex! Don't try and convince me to stay in this God-forbidden relationship with that type of garbage!" He shrugs her off and she punches him out of anger.

"You're the worst, Vincent Keller and I'll make sure that ugly chink knows it!" she shrieks. Before I know it, I'm marching up to her and giving her a big punch in the nose.

"Now you listen here, BITCH," I say with uncontrollable anger, "I can take it when someone calls me a slut or a bitch any day. But when you insult my heritage behind my back by calling me a chink, that's when you cross the line!"

Vincent's eyes widen at my sudden action but I continue anyways, "Look, I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you nor do I really care at this point since it obviously isn't any of my business but I can tell when a person isn't into another person and Vincent clearly isn't into you. Now whether or not you back off from him is not my problem but don't you EVER talk like that behind my back again! If you have something to say about me, then say it to my face, not to my ass."

With that, I march away (with a small limp from my injured knee) before I lose control completely and start pounding her face into putty. Honestly, it felt good to vent a little and I swear, if she ever crosses the line again, I'll be sure to give her a black eye instead.

I look at my watch and realize I don't have time to drop my things off before Mom picks me up. Great. Just great. Eavesdropping really does pay a price, doesn't it? I hear Alex scream in frustration from behind me as she stomps off to No Man's Land.

"Catherine!" Vincent calls my name from behind me. I turn around and he catches up to me.

"What?" I ask impatiently.

"H-how much did you hear back there?"

"Pretty much the entire argument." I reply, aggravated.

"I'm sorry if I offended you in any way."

"Why are you sorry, Vincent? I'm not peeved at you. I'm flattered you defended me back there, even though you barely know me. I do want to know one thing, though."

"What?"

"I'm sorry for being so forward but with my experience with guys, I have to know. What exactly are your intentions, Vincent? I'm sorry if this offends you but I have to know."

"I don't blame you for asking, Catherine…especially after what you heard back there. Honestly, I don't know what my intentions are. I can promise you that I have no desire to get into your pants, if that's what you're wondering about. I won't lie…There was a time in my life where I would jump at the chance to sleep with any woman but after a divine intervention, I don't have those strong sexual urges anymore. You're different, Catherine. I don't know why but like I said to Alex earlier, you have this shine about you I don't understand and I'm keen on figuring it out. I want to get to know you, Catherine. That much is true."

"Thank you for the truth, Vincent but I really have to go. My mom is waiting for me at the fountain. I have an appointment at the hospital I need to get to." Crap. I let my words slip.

"Oh. Alright." Wait. He's not going to ask about the appointment? He's not going to ask what's wrong? Who is this guy, really? Did his cat of curiosity already get killed? "What's with that look?" he asks.

"N-nothing. Look, I'd love to stay and chat but I shouldn't keep my mother waiting."

"I wouldn't want you too." He replies and I turn around as I wave before heading towards the fountain. As I get closer to the fountain, I notice my mother hasn't arrived yet so I decide it would be best to wait on the bench on the other side of the fountain so she would see me when she does pull up.

When I cross the campus's circular driveway to get to the car, I feel my foot jerk on its own causing me to miss my step. The next thing I know, I'm lying flat on the ground and my chin is burning.

"Catherine!" Vincent hollers from behind but despite my efforts, I can't get up! In a matter of moments, I feel a very strong pair of arms help me sit up. For some odd reason, I start crying. I don't know if it is from humiliation or from the burning sensation from my chin. Could it be from fear?

He places his hands gently on my face in more of a professional manner and examines my chin. Just as he is about to say something, my mother pulls up to the curb and practically leaps out of the car. "Catherine! What happened?!"

"I…I don't know…" I try to explain but the words are having a hard time coming out. Am I in shock?

"I saw the whole thing happen." Vincent says in my place. "She was on her way over to the bench to wait for you, Mrs. Chandler, when she lost her footing and fell forwards."

"Thank you, sir." Mom says and pulls out a handkerchief from her bag. She hands it to me and I place it on my chin but winced as the cloth burned against my raw flesh. I immediately peel the material away and my mother adds, "Come on, Catherine, let's get you to your appointment. The doctor will be able to assess your chin while you're there."

I nod and both she and Vincent help me to my feet and then into the car. What's wrong? Why did my body suddenly feel like it wasn't mine? Why did I fall? So many questions entered my mind when I hear Vincent say, "Mrs. Chandler, is it alright I accompany you two to the hospital?"

"Thank you for your offer but I have it under control." My mother replies. "She'll be good as new tomorrow. You'll see."

Before my mother closes the car's door, I manage to say, "Vincent…can…can you not speak of this to anyone?"

"I won't say a word." He promises and before I know it, my mother closes her car door and she quickly pulls onto the main road without a word.

No matter how many times I wanted to forget that horrible feeling of my body belonging to something else, I can't. I just hope this was only a muscle spasm…not something serious.

**Beauty and the Beast**

We get to the hospital and a nurse cleans my chin before bandaging it. She also checks my knee and redresses it as well. I asked my mother to accompany me into the Doctor's office because if there was something wrong with me, I didn't want to find out alone. I wanted someone close to me with me in case I need a hand to hold.

We wait for almost half an hour before Dr. Williams, our family doctor, decides to LEAVE his office and tell us good or bad news. The door finally opens and he walks in with a smile on his face. That's good right? "I am pleased to say that the wound on your chin will heal nicely, Miss Chandler. Your knee seems to be healing nicely too."

"Thanks. May I go now?" I ask, annoyed.

"Sure." He replies. Positive answer. I guess nothing's wrong?

"Wait." My mother says. Uh-oh. If my mother says 'wait' during a medical appointment, something can't be good.

"Yes?" he's still smiling.

"Dr. Williams, please correct me if I'm wrong but when a person falls, it's natural for them to place their hands out, right?"

"Yes." He replies.

"So it would only seem plausible for the person to have scrapes on their palms as well, right?"

"Indeed."

"On our way inside the hospital, I noticed my daughter's palms weren't cut up at all. In fact, as you can see," she raises my hands, "Their unscathed…Meaning, she fell directly onto her chin."

Suddenly his smile did a 180, causing my heart to stop for a second. "Could you excuse me please? There's someone I need to talk to."

We nod and he disappears rather quickly.

"Mom," I say, "Why didn't you say something about my wrists BEFORE the doctor showed up? It wasn't fair to ambush me like that."

"I'm sorry but I guess I wanted to save the thought for the doctor before thinking it could mean something serious." She replies.

We didn't even have to wait five minutes for Dr. Williams and another doctor to show up. "Mrs. and Miss Chandler, this is a colleague of mine, Dr. Evan Marks. He's a part of our Neurology department."

We nod and Dr. Marks says, "Hello. You must be Catherine?" he looks at me and his British accent catches me off guard.

"Y-yes." I reply.

"Is it alright I call you Catherine?"

"You can call me Cat like everyone else." I say.

"Alright, Cat, based on what Dr. Williams has told me, I would like to perform some tests with you. Is that alright?"

I nod. How else am I going to find out what's wrong with me?

"Great. First, I would like you and your mother to walk down to my office. I have the proper equipment over there."

We follow him to his office and he makes me do all of these physical therapy types of tests. He asks me to tap his finger with my pointer finger and then tap my nose. Easy right? Wrong. I found out that no matter how many times I aimed for his finger, I was always off by an inch. I also missed my nose a few times. Then he has me doing some footwork exercises. Maybe these exercises will explain why I've been so clumsy lately. I stumble a few times but manage to find my balance each time.

Last but not least, he asks, "I'm going to need to perform a CT scan."

"What's that?" I ask. When it comes to the hospital, I'm completely clueless. Even if my mother is also a doctor, I still don't know my medical terminology like she does.

"It's a test where I will have a machine take slices of your brain…images per se." he explains and I nod. It couldn't hurt right? They wouldn't perform a test that would literally cut my brain into pieces, would they?

Shortly after Dr. Marks explains how the CT scan machine thing will work, he has me lie down on a flat surface with this huge white helmet on my head. "Don't move Catherine."

So I lie there as still as possible as the machine does its thing. Whatever the CT scanner is doing, it's making me sleepy. When the test is done, I am pulled out of the body tunnel (that's what I named it while I was trapped inside) and Dr. Marks says, "All done. You'll know your results in a week. Please keep your phone on you, Cat."

"I will." I say.

"Oh! And one more thing."

"What?"

"If you feel weird or something happens, I would like you to record it in a diary. That way, when you come in for your results, I can see if it confirms whatever the CT scan will say." Dr. Marks states.

"Are you thinking the CT scan will say anything at all? Could it just be that I'm a little clumsy from a lack of sleep?"

"That could very well be the case, Cat. Honestly, we won't know what's wrong, if there's anything to worry about, until the results come in."

My mother and I both nod and leave Dr. Mark's office after thanking him for his time. We go to the counter near the hospital's exit and my mother picks up the prescribed medicines Dr. Marks suggested I take for the time being. Once everything was done, mom makes me promise to commit myself to take the pills as prescribed since I'm no longer under her roof where she can watch me like a hawk. "Okay. I will."

She drops me off and I feel my bandaged chin. I'm definitely going to have to come up with a reason why my chin is all bandaged up. I am so lucky I finished my homework because I'm going to be awake all night wondering what's going on with me.

I walk to my dorm room and am partially glad Tess is not back yet. It's 7 PM right now and all I want to do is crawl in a hole and die. Okay, maybe not die but I seriously need some ME time right now. Is that too selfish to ask for? I don't think so.

I open my drawer and pull out my diary before flipping to a fresh page, writing:

**Dear Diary, August 21, 2007**

**Today was a rather weird day; much like yesterday. Vincent and I kind of connected today, much to my surprise. He definitely exceeded my expectations. Anyways, as much as I would love to write about my conversations with him (Yes, there were multiple conversations), I might not have enough pages for the amount of content I would like to write. So, instead, I would like to make a comment and say: I'm glad I met Vincent—a guy who is easy to talk to and so far, not like the other dirt bags I've dated in my life. **

**Anyways, for the weird part, I punched an upper classman today…She was pissing me off and offended my heritage. I couldn't sit idly by and let her speak like that about me! The nerve! It felt good to punch her; she deserved it. **

**Then later, I fell on my face. It was a horrifying experience because I felt like my legs weren't my own. **

**I went to the doctor today; we did some tests and I hope everything is alright. **

**If something is in fact wrong with me, I will do whatever I can to get better. Whatever I can. **

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I place my diary back into my drawer and wanted to lie down but Tess walks in. "Hey girl! Have fun with your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Woah. What happened to your face?" she asks.

"I fell…It's alright though. It barely hurts." I lie.

"You've been falling down a lot lately. Is everything alright?"

"Yep!" I lie. I can't tell her that something might be wrong with me; I don't think I have the guts to. I don't even think I'd be able to admit it to myself if I'm sick. I'm 19 years old. I'm too young to be sick. Right? Too young.

"Cat?"

"Yeah?"

"Just checkin' if you were alive in there. You seem so spacy lately." Tess states as kicks off her shoes.

"I guess there's a lot on my mind. Don't worry about me though. I'll be fine." I say. "You know what, I'm going to go and grab something to eat. I'll be back later."

I run out of the room and cut across the lawn. I don't go for the dining hall. Rain starts to fall but I don't care. I'll run in the rain as long as possible until my feet find my destination. At one point, I stop and try to look at the sky as the rain pours all around me. What's going to happen in the future? Will I be able to run in fields and embrace the rain like I am now? Not caring who is around, I fall to my knees and pray to whatever intellectual being out there who is willing to listen, "If I'm sick, please make me better. God, please help me! Please!"

My please turn into sobs for I fear my future.

I stand to my feet and make my way back to my dorm room without stopping by the dining hall. Food can wait. My future can't. If I am sick then I have to make the best of whatever is given to me and that means getting a good night's sleep so I can get to class on time tomorrow.

Right before I enter the dorm complex, I glance back at the sky and see the rain fall. At least no one will know I was crying since I'm covered with water anyways. That's the beauty of rain; it'll always mask your tears. I'm glad it masked mine.

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

_I beg you, please help to save the life of Aya, the budding beauty. You told me that I should only go and see you once a month because the hospital's far away and I have to go to school. Well, I'll definitely come and see you, and I will do whatever you tell me to do. So please make me better, I beg you!_

_~Aya Kitou (Journal Entry 1977-1978)_

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara:**

**Well, this chapter ended up to be longer than I expected. Anyways, please tell me what you think. By the way, I do not mean to offend anyone when including the word "chink". I think it is sad people still use that term and I think Alex got off easy than what she truly deserves. What do you think? **

**Please review! **

**OH! If anyone IS offended because of "chink" please let me know and I will find a different word to use! **

**Thanks!**


	3. On the Other Side

**Author's Note: **

**The dates have changed AGAIN! DX Sorry but same year, same month, same week, just wanted to make the dates real. So August 22, 2007 is the starting date of this chapter! Sorry! :X I will start adding dates to the sections (if the date changes) to help lessen confusion. :)**

**There was ONE slight thing added to Alex and Vincent's argument in the previous chapter. To clear up some confusion, Alex and Vincent weren't dating when V had his dark years. They were only friends still then. They didn't get together until V's senior year of high school. **

**Sorry for the long wait! (if you consider a few days as a long wait). I really wanted to make this chapter a good one and so I restarted it FOUR TIMES! Hopefully, I will like this version better. **

**That should be it for now. :)**

**Thanks!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Two: On the Other Side**_

**Date: May 22, 2007**

"Good morning class!" Dr. Andrews smiles as he walks into the choir classroom. "Now that we're all here, I have an announcement to make. In three weeks, our school will be having an in-school competition between the other choirs. Everything from the selection of the music to the accompaniment must be done by students. Now, I need two volunteers: one to pick the music and then direct it to the class and the other to play the music. Now, who can fluently play the piano?"

Vincent raises his hand.

"Great. Mr. Keller will be our accompanist for the competition. Do we have a volunteer for the selection and direction of the music?"

No one volunteers so he says, "Looks like I'll pick at random." He takes a second to point to a random name and then he adds, "Miss Chandler, you'll be our song selector and director for the competition."

"Sir…I don't think…" I start to say but Dr. Andrews interjects my thought by saying, "You won't disappoint me, will you?"

"N-no, sir. I won't." and that is how I was selected as the song's director.

"Do you have a song in mind? If not, you have until Monday to decide."

"Ummmm….not yet…but I'm sure I'll be able to pick something out before Monday." I reply.

"Okay, if you haven't picked it by Friday, please do so during the weekend and make copies for 40 students; alright?"

"Sounds good." I reply. Who knew I would actually get a chance to make a name for myself at this school? If I help win the competition, maybe the fact that I have some kind of medical condition won't matter! Maybe people will like me regardless. I can only hope my condition, whatever it is, doesn't progress. I just wish those stupid scans would hurry themselves and get printed!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: May 25, 2007**

"Wake up sleepy head!" I hear Tess exclaim as she throws her pillow at me. "It's Saturday and I'm taking you shopping! No excuses!"

"What time is it?" I mumble.

"It's time to rise and shine! Now hurry up and get ready for the day. We're meeting Joe, Vincent and JT in the dining hall in less than an hour. We're all going on a shopping spree!" Tess smiles and then she adds, "You better find something cute to wear for Vincent."

"Tess," I groan as I sit up in my bed, "It isn't like that. I swear."

"I see blushing cheeks that say otherwise." She laughs. "By the way, while we're out, you should probably consider going incognito somewhere and buy a birthday present for Vincent. His b-day is next Wednesday. He'll be 23 years old."

"Buy it yourself." I growl tiredly as I slump back in my bed and pull my covers over my head.

"No way, Cat. You're not bailing this time!" Tess states as she grabs my sheets and pulls them off of me. "I need a dress for the upcoming school dance and I seriously need a girl's opinion; not Joe's. Believe me, he has NO fashion sense."

"Since when do colleges have school dances?"

"Since we decided to be a nontraditional school? I don't know, Cat. Besides, details like that aren't important. It's the beauty factor behind the dance that really counts." She winks and I finally hop to my feet.

"Fine. You win. I'll go but don't expect me to buy anything."

"Oh. Trust me, Cat. You will. You will; especially if a certain guy with a name that starts with a V asks you to the dance."

"I doubt he'll ask me." I reply while I grab my shower things. "I'll be back; I'm going to take a shower."

"Fine but if you're not back here in ten, I'm coming into the community shower room and pulling you out myself. So don't stall and make me have to drag you down the hall and back into our room while you're buck naked. Got it?" Tess smirks.

"Crystal clear." I reply and vanish before she could blink.

Taking Tess's warning seriously, I shower as fast as I can and hurry back to the dorm room. I surprise myself; it only takes me a total of seven minutes to shower and return refreshed and dressed. When I open the door to our room, Tess says, "Guess you took me seriously."

"I don't think I had a choice." I laugh. "Now, can I dry my hair in peace or will you take my hairdryer away after ten minutes?"

"Let's see where ten minutes takes us." She replies before applying her makeup. Luckily my hair dries fast under high-pressured heat and when ten minutes pass, my hair is completely dry. All I need to do is apply my makeup, take my morning meds and grab my purse.

"So, are you sure you and Vincent aren't a thing right now? I heard he and Alex finally ended their iffy relationship over you." Tess says while she applies hairspray to her thick, wavy locks of hair.

"I can assure you, Tess, we're not a 'thing' as you say it. Vincent and I are just…well…I don't know what we are. I guess we're just friends?"

"If you say so." She rolls her eyes. "I still think you two are secretly dating."

"Think what you want, Tess." I laugh. "It's not true."

After we finish getting ready, we start heading down the hallway of our dorm room when I stop and exclaim, "Wait! I forgot something!"

"What? A tampon?"

"No." I roll my eyes at my roommate. "My phone."

"Ahhh…can't do without technology these days, can we?" Tess laughs as I rush back towards our room. I unlock the door and open it before slipping inside. As I unplug my phone from its charger, I realize I forgot to turn of the lamp beside it as well. Where did my mind go? Am I starting to forget things too? Hopefully not.

I reach for the lamp's knob but instantly yelp in pain. I instantly pull my fingers back and see a bright red mark across my right hand's three longest fingers.

"Are you okay, Cat?" Tess walks in. "I heard you holler like you stubbed your toe or something."

"I'm alright. I just burned myself." I say even though I know it's a lie. I'm not alright. I shouldn't have misjudged the distance of the lamp's knob like that. I've turned off a lamp thousands of times and never once burned myself. Why now? What's wrong with me?

I show Tess my hand and she cringes. "We should probably get that looked at by the campus's nurse. She may have some kind of ointment to rub on it. The last thing you want is for it to get all blistery and based on experience, burns get ugly if left untreated."

"Yeah…good call. Listen, you meet the guys and I'll go to the nurse. Okay? The sooner I get it treated, the better, right?"

"Right. I'll tell the guys you're running a little behind. Do you want me to get you anything to eat so we can be on our way when you arrive?" Tess asks and I shrug.

"Just get me a bagel and cream cheese. A cappuccino would be nice too…preferably vanilla."

"No prob. We'll meet you at the fountain instead, okay? If we're not there, call me. Okay?"

"Okay." I wave with my non-burned hand as we depart ways. Part of me hopes all of these recent injuries are results of me being more accident-prone due to a newer environment; the other part of me understands whatever is going on in my body isn't normal. Something is going on, but what? And why?

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Thanks for tending to this inconvenient burn." I say after Mrs. Browning finishes wrapping my hand up with a bandage.

"No problem, Miss Catherine. Whatever you do, do not remove the gauze from your fingers. I placed some burn cream on the gauze to help keep the burns from contracting an infection. Keep the gauze on all day. If it looks like it's getting loose, stop by and I will re-wrap it with more sterile gauze. Okay?"

"Thank you, but what if I plan to go out with some friends and I don't know when I'll return? One of my friends is a medical student? May I take some extra gauze and if I need it, can I ask him to rewrap the wound for me?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Who is the student?"

"Vincent Keller." I say. "He's in his senior year."

"If your friend is Vincent Keller than I won't be worried if you're in his hands. He's a good medical student and studies hard. He often comes and volunteers in the nurse's office when I'm sick to get some practice." She smiles and then hands me a bag of gauze wrapping. "Take this. If you need it, give this to Vincent and he'll know what to do with it. I've included some burn cream too just in case."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for the trouble."

"It's no trouble at all. Might I ask, though, what is your condition?"

"Condition?" I give her a funny look. I know there's something wrong with me but I didn't think it is that obvious.

"I'm sorry…don't mind my nosiness. Forget I asked anything." She replies sympathetically.

"No…it's okay." I say, "I don't know what my condition is. I mean, I've been to the doctor and had a CT scan but the results aren't in yet. I know there's something going on and I hope it can be cured with medicine. But, as of right now, I really don't know what's wrong with me. Hopefully, I'm just a klutz."

"If you find out and wish to talk about it, don't hesitate to stop by. I'll be more than glad to help you any way I can." Mrs. Browning gives me a huge smile and says, "Your friends must be waiting. Take care."

"Thanks. I will." One can only hope, right?

As I leave the nurse's office, I accidentally bump into someone and almost fall backwards until that someone's arms prevent me from hitting the ground. "Woah. In a hurry?"

"Vincent?" I mutter. "What are you doing here?"

"Tess said you would be here. When you didn't come back in ten minutes like she thought you would, she sent me to fetch you." He replies.

"That's funny because we agreed on meeting at the fountain when I was done. She told me to call her if I didn't see you guys. I guess she got impatient?"

"That's a high possibility." He smirks but then frowns. "Anyways, I heard you burnt your hand?"

"Yeah, a second degree burn but no big deal. Mrs. Browning treated it only minutes ago." I reply. "She gave me extra bandages in case I need it redressed."

"How did it happen? Tess didn't elaborate."

"Ehhhh…I'm a horrible klutz." I stick my tongue out a bit as I knock my noggin with my fist.

"I believe it." he smirks. "Shall we meet the others before Tess orders a search party on us?"

"Probably a good idea." I laugh and we walk outside and towards the fountain to meet our friends.

"What took you guys so long?" Tess asks as she runs up to us. "You two weren't making out in the bushes, were you?"

"What?! No!" Vincent and I reply in unison.

"Cute." She smirks. "If that's not a sign of being soul mates, I don't know what is."

"Quit teasing them, Tess. V's not like that and you know it." I hear an unfamiliar voice say. I look towards the owner and realize he's Vincent's best friend, JT. I remember Tess saying we were meeting Vincent, Joe AND JT.

JT walks over to me and holds his hand out. "I'm JT Forbes, V's BFF but I'm sure Vincent has already told you all about me."

"Not really but that's okay. Important people are forgotten every day." I reply with a smile. "I'm sure you're the one who keeps him in line."

"Damn straight." He laughs. "Without me, he'd be as lost as Chuck Noland from the movie _Cast Away_."

"No doubt about that." Vincent agrees as he gives JT a BFF handshake. "By the way, where's Sarah?"

"She needed to go home for the weekend; she needs to help her father around the house while her mother is gone on a business trip." JT replies. "Maybe that saying IS true…Men just can't live without women."

"Enough chatting, men!" Joe commands. "We have a mission! Our mission is to get to the subway station ASAP if we want to make it to the mall before sundown!"

"Joe, the subway entrance is like half a mile away. Chillax." Tess replies. "Besides, you don't need to sound like a military officer."

"I know but it just sounds cool." He smirks. "Now, on we go!"

We walk towards the subway station and on the way, I hear my stomach growl. Suddenly, it dawns on me! Where's my bagel?

"Hey Tess!" I exclaim from behind her. "Did you ever get me my bagel and cream cheese?!"

"Bagel! Right! It's in my bag! Thanks for reminding me, Cat! I can't believe I almost made you starve!" she says while she digs into her bag. Oh shit. I forgot the cream cheese!"

"That's okay." I reply. "I'll eat it plain." She tosses me the bagel but for some reason, when I reach out to catch it, my hands are nearly six inches too shy of her aim. Luckily Vincent has fast reflexes and he caught the bagel just before it hit the ground.

"Bad hand-eye coordination?" he asks.

"I guess." I reply though I know it's not true. "Thanks for saving my bagel. You're a real life saver."

"Don't choke." He winks as he plops the food into my hands. Thank God it doesn't fall a second time.

"I wouldn't dream of it." I reply. I start to nibble on it as Joe says "Hurry! We can't wait for the grass to grow any taller!"

"Chill Joe!" Tess replies. "The subway is always running!"

We finally arrive at the station and luckily, we immediately get on. Tess and Joe sit together across from Vincent, JT and me. JT sits on Vincent's left and I sit on his right. I don't know why but he insisted I sit at the end of the row of seats. Maybe he doesn't want some creep sitting next to me on my other side? Who knows but I like the idea of him being protective of me.

"So Cat," Tess says from across the car, "Why were you so sleepy this morning since you're normally an early riser?"

"I was busy finding and picking the song for a choir competition coming up in three weeks. Dr. Andrews, the director, volunteered me to choose and direct the song."

"That's cool." She replies but doesn't continue the conversation. Instead, she and Joe decide to get all lovey-dovey as if no one else was on the train. Luckily, Vincent leans close to my ear and whispers, "What song did you choose?"

"Promise you won't laugh, okay?" I say insecurely.

"Scout's honor." He crosses his heart and I roll my eyes.

"Okay, well, yesterday, my mom dropped off my old binder from my high school choir days and found a song that seems like a challenging piece yet an easy tune to learn in three weeks." I say. "It's called _Sangatsu Kokonoka_."

"_Sangatsu Kokonoka?_ That sounds Japanese."

"It is. The song is my favorite one from my high school days and I do know how to speak Japanese aside from my Chinese language skills so at least the class can pronounce words right if the vocals sound horrible." I laugh. "Do you think I should have gone for an English song?"

"Nope. I think a challenge is just what our class needs to win the competition. I'm sure the judges won't expect students to organize a Japanese musical piece within three weeks' time. I'm sure it'll throw them in for a loop."

"Good. I just hope the rest of the class will like it." I say. "I spent three hours searching for it. When it comes to sheet music, I tend to be a hoarder."

"I understand completely, Catherine. When I played piano way back when, my piano bench was filled with sheet music; sometimes it took an hour just to find the one I wanted to play." Vincent replies.

"What's your favorite composition?" I ask.

"You first." He challenges.

"How about we say it on three?" I suggest but mentally slap myself. Say it on three? Really? We're in COLLEGE! Not Kindergarten!

"Fine." He chuckles. He probably didn't expect me to say something so…childish.

"One." I say.

"Two." He responds and we both say "Three!"

To our surprise, we both say the exact same thing: "_Moonlight Sonata_ by Beethoven! That's your favorite piece? That's MY favorite piece!"

As we start laughing, I suddenly feel bad for JT. Vincent's mostly talking to me and he's treating his best friend like chop liver.

"JT, you can join in for the conversation any time." I smile, letting him know he isn't forgotten.

"Nah…I'm alright. I'm more interested in yours and V's convo. It seems pretty heated with the two of you talking in harmony." JT chuckles at his pun.

Vincent elbows him in the arm, telling him to knock it off while I feel my cheeks starting to flush from embarrassment.

"See Joe?" I see Tess smirk. "I told you V and C are a miracle couple!"

I give her a dirty glare and mentally pray Vincent, JT and Joe do not see my cheeks flaring even more.

"How's your hand?" Vincent suddenly asks as he gently brushes his fingers over my damaged ones.

"It hurts a little but I'm sure I'll survive. I have, after all, endured a knee and chin injury already. What's another injury added to the list?" I laugh halfheartedly, pulling my hand back nervously.

We keep silent for the rest of the subway ride until Tess finally says, "YES! We're heeeeeere!" We climb out of the subway once it stops and start to stretch our legs. Tess grabs my hand and pulls me with her. "Let the guys go do what they want. You're coming with me and no excuses. Okay?"

I nod and allow her to pull me away as the guys start heading for a different entrance.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"How about this one?" Tess asks for the fifth time.

"I actually like this dress better than the other four. It definitely defines your curves flawlessly and with a jacket, you'll look even more gorgeous." I smile.

"Cat…this is a college dance. To hell with a jacket; this dress is being ripped off anyways in Joe's and my 'after-dance' party if you get my drift." She winks. "But I do agree with your opinion. Good thing Joe's paying for this dress; there's no way I'd be able to afford such a pretty thing!"

"Joe's paying?"

"Yeah…He promised me he'd by my homecoming dress as an 'anniversary' gift. Free dress for me so I can't complain." She laughs. "Besides, when he sees this on me, he's going to go CRAZY! The color is insane, isn't it?!

"Indeed. Sparkly black, long, slender dresses are perfect for you!"

"You think?" she asks. "I guess you're right! Now I'm going to change back into my clothes and then we're going to go looking for YOUR dress."

"Tess…I don't think I want a dress…Besides, I can barely afford school expenses as it is. What makes you think I can afford a $300 dress too?"

"I'm sure Vincent wouldn't mind paying for it."

"Tess…" I say with a warning tone. "I can't just ask him to do that for me."

"Why not? He practically worships the ground you walk on!" she claims. "Vincent is totally into you and you know it!"

"But that's no reason to ask for money!" I state. "Sorry, Tess. I'd rather pay for a dress with my own expenses."

"But, as you've said, you don't have many expenses."

"I know…that's why I'll have to wait until next year…or just wear a dress from high school."

"Catherine Chandler!" I hear a cheerful voice call my name from behind me, "Did I just hear you say you're going to recycle a HIGH SCHOOL dress for a COLLEGE dance?!"

I turn around and see the only owner to that perky voice with her hands on her hips. "I miss you too, Heather."

"Save the hugs for later, Cat." Heather says. "I knew you barely have a fashion sense but where in the world did your common sense run off to? Everyone knows you can't recycle dresses! It's like the number one rule of Fashion America!"

"Yeah! Listen to her!" Tess smiles as she walks to Heather and says, "Hey! I'm Cat's roommate, Tess. Considering you share VERY similar features with my stubborn roommate, you must be her younger sister?"

"Yep!" Heather beams, "I'm her favorite younger sister! She adores me!"

"Heather, you're my ONLY sister and right now, you're annoying me." I correct her.

"Whatevs. Introductions aren't that important right now. You have a crisis on your hands!"

"Hardly." I roll my eyes.

"Heather, are you ready to g—Catherine! What a surprise!" My father exclaims and gives me a hug.

"Hi Dad." I say. "You and Heather just leaving?"

"Well, we were but since you're here, we can stay a little while longer." He replies.

"Dad, this is Tess, my roommate." I introduce the tall woman beside me. "Tess, this is my dad."

"It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Chandler." Tess smiles.

"Likewise. I'm glad someone's there to keep my daughter on her toes."

"Hahaha…" Tess laughs, "Literally…she's such a klutz!"

"I'm standing right here." I say but they ignore me.

"Daaaad!" Heather interrupts. "You need to buy Cat a dress for her dance thingy! She's considering an OLD dress instead of a new one! Please save her from public humiliation because I definitely do NOT want to be known as the Sister of the Dress-Recycler!"

"You make a point, Heather." Dad nods his head.

"I know right! She needs to rearrange her priorities!"

"I'm still here!" I interject and cave. "Fine…buy me a dress but don't be disappointed if I don't wear it since I don't have a date."

"Don't worry, Mr. Chandler," Tess whispers, "She'll have a date. I'm sure of it."

"It's settled!" Dad pounds his fist into his hand. "Heather and Tess, please help my eldest daughter in choosing a dress!"

"Yay!" Heather cheers and pulls Tess along with her. Something tells me they're already going to be BFFs.

"Dad, you don't have to do this." I say with a sigh. "I'm perfectly fine not going to a dance."

"Catherine, you're almost 20 years old. It's time for you to live a little, don't you think? I know you haven't had great experiences with guys in the past but who knows, maybe you'll meet 'the one' at this dance. Live in the moment, okay? Don't worry about what hasn't come yet."

"Alright," I sigh and leave my father as I search for Tess and Heather. This is going to be a funnnnnn morning. Not.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Cat, that dress is soooooo sexy on you!" Heather claps. "Your man is going to LOVE it!"

"There's just one thing missing." I say.

"What?" Heather asks.

"The man!" I exclaim and roll my eyes.

"Quit denying yourself, Cat." Tess laughs. "You know you're going with Vincent!"

"Who's Vincent?" Heather turns to Tess with widened eyes. "Is he hot?"

"He's probably the second hottest senior at Hudson University!" Tess replies.

"Who's first?" Heather questions as I change out of the crimson dress from behind the dressing room door.

"My man, Joe." Tess smiles.

"Caaaaaat! I wanna meet Vincent!"

"No, Heath. Besides, we're not dating. He's just a friend."

"Suuuuuuuure." Heather rolls her eyes and I hand the dress to her. "Here, you want me to get a dress so much, you give it to dad to pay for."

"Will do!" Heather salutes me and runs off with the dress.

"What can I say," I turn towards Tess, "She maybe the most annoying little sister in the world but I still love her."

"Wish I had a little sister. I'm the youngest in my family. I don't have any sisters; I have five older brothers."

"FIVE!"

"Yeah…but's it's cool. I got all the attention when I was born." Tess flips her hair. "Heather seems like a sweet girl. I'm sure she idolizes you."

Before we could continue our conversation, we met back with my father and Heather.

"Here's your dress, sweetheart." Dad smiles. "All paid for. Just make sure you have your picture taken when you wear it."

"Dad…I don't…" I start to say but Tess interrupts my statement, "Of course a picture will be taken. In fact, I'll be the photographer!"

"Then my daughter is in good hands." Dad replies. "Catherine, forgive me for being oblivious, but what on earth happened to your hand?"

"Oh…I burned it earlier this morning." I say. "Nothing major. It barely hurts now."

"Well be careful. Okay?"

"Don't worry, I will try." I laugh before I add, "Tess and I should get going. We still have other errands to run."

"Alright. Don't be a stranger Catherine. Alright?" Dad states.

"Alright. I won't be." With that, Tess and I leave the store and start walking in the mall's concourse as we decide which store to hit up next.

"So what gift are you getting for Vincent?" Tess asks me.

"Ummmm…I'm not sure…It's strange, for as much as we talk to each other, I hardly know much of anything about him. I'm not sure what his likes or dislikes are or what he does outside of school. Do you know what he might like?"

"Well…I normally get him cash since I'm horrible at buying gifts for people. I'm probably going to do the same thing this year too.

"Actually, I think I know just the thing to get him. Why don't you meet up with the guys; I want his gift to be a surprise so I'll meet back with you in twenty minutes?"

"Okay," she replies, "Call me when you're done. We'll start heading towards the food court and you do the same."

"Sounds like a plan." Tess and I depart ways and I head towards the Hallmark store as she starts calling Joe to see where they are currently at. I make my way to Hallmark and know exactly where to go. The ladies at the register desk smile as I walk in and I gently smile back. I walk to the back of the store and marvel at the soon-to-be gift for Vincent. I may not know a lot of Vincent but I'm sure he'll like this gift. I'm positive.

**Beauty and the Beast**

We finally arrive back at the school and head for our separate dorms. Vincent and I talked some on the way back but I was mostly silent because no matter how much I wanted to push my thoughts from my mind; I couldn't. Every fiber of my being couldn't help but think about the future and what it would become if I have some kind of disease. Would I be impaired in some way? Will I eventually go blind? Deaf? Mentally incapable to function? What will happen to me in the future? What will happen?

As Tess takes a shower, I pull out my diary and write:

**Dear Diary, August 25, 2012**

**I burned my hand today…For some weird reason, my fingers forgot where the lamp's knob was. The next thing I know, I feel a hot metal rod pressing against my flesh and giving me a second degree burn on my three tallest fingers on my right hand. **

**Weird right?**

**I also bumped into Heather and Dad today at the mall. It was an interesting feeling seeing them there; not to mention that Heather and Tess ambushed me about wearing a dress to the dance. Worst part: Dad agreed. **

**More and more I have begun to realize that my body belongs to another mind. I don't know whose mind it is but it certainly isn't mine. **

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I put my diary back into my drawer and couldn't help but feel tears running down my cheeks. I'm falling a lot more, I can't always move when I want to, I get dizzy a lot. Lately, I've been crying to myself more lately because I've been dealing with my condition alone. I don't know what it is yet but something deep down tells me it isn't good. How much longer do I have to wait until I know something? How much longer?

As Tess enters the dorm room, I dry my eyes and act as if everything is fine. I'm turned around so it isn't like she can see my red eyes right now.

"Cat, are you alright? I thought I heard someone crying." She says sympathetically.

I sit still for a second or two before I turn around and flash a fake smile on my face. "Nope. Not me! I'm as chipper as sunshine in the morning!"

Somehow, I don't think she bought it.

Honestly, I don't buy it either.

"Cat, whatever is going on, you can tell me, alright? If you're not ready, I understand but just know I'm here for you." Tess places her hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks Tess. I'll keep that in mind." I smile and add, "I'm going to go to bed. Good night."

"Good night." She replies and I carefully turn out my lamp without burning myself. I may have said I was going to sleep at this very second but I know sleep will not be visiting tonight. All I will be doing is thinking about my future. What will be on the other side of the bridge I cross as I venture towards my future? Happiness? Sadness? Love? What will happen to me if I am sick?

Tears silently roll down my cheek and I taste the saltiness of the liquid. That's what my life feels like right now…salty…bitter…confused. I don't want to fade away. If I am sick, I want to continue to make an impact in the world; I just don't know how yet or if I even have any reason to worry.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I'm becoming more and more weepy. And my body won't move the way I want it to._

_~Aya Kitou (Ch. 2; 15 Years Old; Illness Creeping Up)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara:**

**Hello all! **

**I hope you enjoyed ch. 2! :)**

**Tess's dress:**

http*COLON* *SLASH* SLASH* img1*DOT*promgirl*DOT*com/_img/PGPRODUCTS/850660/1 80/black-dress-DQ-8143-c*DOT*jpg

**Cat's dress: **

http*COLON* *SLASH* SLASH* i01*DOT*i*DOT*aliimg*DOT*com/wsphoto/v0/755988511/ Ball-Gown-High-Quality-Deep-Red-font-b-Crimson-b-f ont-Strapless-Taffeta-Bridal-Wedding-font*DOT*jpg

**Please let me know if the links won't work. Also I LOVED this chapter a LOT more than the other three I attempted! Hopefully you'll love it all the same! Happy reading!**


	4. the Sun Keeps Shining Bright

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears" or **_**Sangatsu Kokonoka**_

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Three: The Sun Keeps Shining Bright**_

**Date: August 27, 2007**

"Catherine, what song did you choose for the class to learn?" Dr. Andrews asks as I walk in to the classroom alone. For some reason, Vincent didn't show up to breakfast let alone class. I wonder if he's sick?

"Ummmm…It's called _Sangatsu Kokonoka_. It's a Japanese song. Will it be appropriate?"

"Absolutely! I've directed that song a few years ago; it's such a wonderful song."

"You know Japanese?" I ask with enthusiasm.

"Translation, dear." He laughs. "Translation."

"Ah." I say as I give him the copies. I walk to my chair and as the class files in, I am disappointed I don't see Vincent. I guess he IS sick.

We start class and Dr. Andrews introduces the song to the rest of the students. Some of them laugh, as I expected, and some of them seem very interested. There were some, however, who could have cared less. You win some and lose some right?

"Catherine, if you will, could you please come down here and read the translated meaning of the song? I think it would be best if everyone knows what story they are singing before they sing the Japanese version." Dr. Andrews states and I nod. I walk up to the front and he hands me the copies of music. I guess there wasn't really a reason for me to give them to him. Oh well.

I stand up in front and say, "_Sangatsu Kokonoka_ is a Japanese song and the version we are going to sing is in *SATB* form. Like Dr. Andrews insisted, it's important to know the meaning behind the Japanese lyrics to truly understand the foundation of the song."

Suddenly Becca, one of the Altos, raises her hand and, naturally, I call on her. "Yes?"

"Ummmm…Why should we care about the translation? We have three weeks so shouldn't we like learn the song and then worry about the meaning later?"

"In any non-English piece, it is important to know WHAT you're singing before you learn the music. How else would you emphasize meaning?" I say. "I don't mean to sound rude but think about it this way, when you take a foreign language class like French, does the teacher hand you the textbook and say, _"This is what you need to know for your final. The entire book is in French and you need to memorize every word in the vocabulary of each chapter. Good luck!"_ I highly doubt it. Learning a language isn't just about learning the words of the foreign vocabulary; it's about application. To learn the French, you must know the English translation in order to emphasize meaning. Music is also a language. The sheet music I have in my hand is not what makes the music, it's the diligence and intelligence of the choir members, accompanist and director who make the music come alive. This right here," I hold up the sheet music, "is only the information and in order to make music, we must translate this information…this language into something anyone can understand, language barrier or no language barrier. If we emphasize meaning behind the Japanese words, the audience will understand. They may not know what we will be saying but they will know whether we are singing a sad song or a happy song. Does this make sense to everyone? Does this explain why it's important to know the English translation before knowing the music?"

Several students nod in silence, even Becca.

"Good…now, shall we start?" I ask.

They stay silent and before I start reading, I say, "Even though the translation is written underneath the **Rōmaji**, I'm going to read it out loud anyways so you can hear what I mean by the meaning of the words." So I begin reading:

_In the middle of this drifting season  
I suddenly feel the length of the days  
In the midst of these quickly-passing days  
You and I dream away_

_With my feelings on the March wind  
The cherry blossom buds continue on into spring_

_The overflowing drops of light  
One by one warm the morning  
Beside you, I'm a little embarrassed  
After a huge yawn_

_I'm standing at the door to a new world  
What I've realized is that I'm not alone_

_If I close my eyes  
You're behind my eyelids  
How strong has that made me?  
I hope I'm the same for you_

_The dusty whirlwind  
Tangled up the laundry, but  
The white moon in the morning sky  
Was so beautiful, I couldn't look away_

_There are things that don't go the way I planned  
But if I look up to the sky, even they seem small_

_The blue sky is cold and clear  
The fluffy clouds float by quietly  
If I can share with you the joy  
Of waiting for the flowers to bloom, I'll be happy_

_From now on, I want you to be quietly smiling beside me_."

When I finish, I see some of the students with tears falling down their cheeks. I wonder if they truly understood the meaning of the song. "Now do you understand why it was important to know the English translation?"

They nod and I smile. "Good. Now, I will pass out the music and then we can start learning the Japanese Rōmaji. Just as I said, I pass out the sheet music to the students and keep one aside for myself and Vincent. I pick up my copy and when I look at the music, I see blurry words for a moment. The next thing I know, the music slips from my hand. Two students rush to help pick it up for me and I thank them as they head back to their seats.

"Vincent isn't here…" Becca states. "We can't learn music without a piano player."

"You're right, we can't but we CAN learn the Japanese pronunciation instead." I reply with a smile. "Now, let's get started, shall we?"

And that's basically how my day started. I found out that Vincent wasn't in class because he simply slept in. I worry way too much; I hope I'm just paranoid about what's happening with my body. Muscle spasms can explain it right? Maybe my muscles need more water intake?

Anyways, we met later that day in the dining hall and he apologized immensely for missing class. I forgave him and told him not to do it again because he is an IMPORTANT factor in this competition. It would suck if we had to perform ***a capella***.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: August 28, 2007**

Classes are done for the day and I have finally completed all of my homework for tomorrow and for Thursday. It's been a week since my CT scan has been taken and although I do want to know what's going on, I decide it's best I don't know anything until the competition is over. I don't want to start worrying over my body's condition until afterwards. I just think it's best this way.

As I finish rereading my favorite book _Pride and Prejudice_, I hear my phone buzzing on my bedside table. I reach for it but my fingers land two inches away. Luckily, I'm not touching anything that would harm my body; I just touch the wood of the table. I manage to pick up my phone and answer it as kindly as I can. "Hello?"

"Catherine Chandler?" I recognize the British voice behind the phone: Dr. Marks.

"Yes, this is she."

"We have the results of your CT scan. You and preferably both of your parents need to come in immediately. Are you free any time soon?"

"Ummm, sir. I have a request." I say courageously.

"What is it?"

"I know your voice sounds dire and implies that whatever is going on with me is serious," I gulp and continue, "but as of right now, I don't want to know of my condition."

"Miss Chandler, please, you must reconsider." He says but I shake my head.

"Please, just give me until Friday, September 14th. I have a choir competition that day and must be mentally ready for it. I know I have something wrong with my body but please, for me, don't inform me of my condition until that Friday afternoon." I beg.

He sighs. "Fine. Upon your request, I will not inform you until then. However, you need to start treatment right away. I promise not to tell you of your condition but will you please consider meeting for treatment?"

I gulp. Treatment? "Do I have some type of c-cancer?"

"No. However, your condition is a serious matter and I would rather speak of it in person than over the phone." Dr. Marks says.

I gulp again. He first says 'treatment' and now he's saying 'serious'? What is wrong with my body? I close my eyes and breathe in a deep breath. "I've made my decision…I'd rather not start any type of treatment until the 14th. Please consider my request, okay?"

He sighs. The patient has spoken and there's nothing more he can do until the 14th. "As much as I do not agree with your terms, I will respect them. However, I would still like your permission to tell your parents of your condition."

"No…please, I do not want them to worry; at least, I don't want them to worry as of yet. This decision is also a hard one on my part because I know something is wrong with me and I do want to know what it is but at the same time, I want to live my life how it is a little while longer. Is that too selfish to ask?"

He sighs again and replies, "Very well. When can I expect you on the 14th?"

"Three." I reply.

"3 PM it is then. Don't hesitate to call if something about your body feels off; okay?"

"I won't." With that, I end the call with confidence. I know I've made the right decision no matter how difficult and wrong it may seem. I can't allow any knowledge of whatever I have to ruin the competition for the class. We've worked really hard on the words and this Friday, we're going to start learning the music.

I start to open the drawer with my diary inside but I hear a knock on the door. I walk over to it and open the door for the knocker. To my surprise, Vincent is standing outside of my room with a nervous expression.

"Vincent? What's wrong?" I ask.

He walks inside and I close the door. "Catherine, there's been something on my mind ever since you heard the argument between Alex and me. I feel like I need to explain to you what happened during my high school life after my brothers were killed on 9/11."

"Vincent, you don't owe me any explanation." I reply as I gesture him to sit on my bed. "We all have past mistakes that we hate ourselves for. Everyone has a past they're ashamed of. If they don't then their time will come. Believe me; I know this based on experience." Although I am curious about Vincent's life before college, I don't think he's in the right frame of mind to start sharing his life's story. "There's a time and a place for everything, Vincent. Don't force yourself to tell me; let nature take its course and with time, you'll be mentally ready to say what you want to say."

"Catherine, it's best you know what I was like before 'we' move forward in anything." He whispers as he caresses my almost healed fingers.

"Like I said, Vincent, there's a time and a place for everything. I'm going to be honest with you, something horrible happened to me in my senior year; something I am too ashamed to speak about. Although I'm not ready to explain what that something was, I can tell you that it caused me to change my career path. For the longest time, I hated myself for it. I literally wanted to die instead of face life with humiliation. One day, my mother found out what had happened since I didn't tell her right away and the first thing she did was hug me. I don't know how she figured it out or how she knew I needed her; she just knew. I'll never forget the words she said to me that day:

"_Whatever brings you down in your life, don't dwell on it. It may be something horrible but if you fall off a cliff because of it; Evil will win. Use that horrible experience to better your personality. Use it to fight back and make a difference in the world. It is important to forgive the wrongdoers even if it seems hard. Forgive them but never forget what they've done. Remember, Catherine, forgive but never forget. Use this advice as a foundation for you to stand up and move forward. If you rise up and fight back, you will surely win in the end." _

"Catherine, that seems like wonderful advice but, what if the battle is against myself? How can I win against myself?" he asks.

"Vincent," I place my hands on his face and make him look at me, "Are you still the same person as you once were in high school?"

"No." he replies. "I've completely turned my life around."

"See? The true you…the man I met on the day I knocked all of those bikes down, has the upper hand; the person you are today is winning the battle right now." I smile. "Sure, you may have had large downfalls in high school but look at how you've turned out! You are a senior in a high standards medical program. You have excelling grades and great friends who care about you. Do you honestly think the person you once were is winning the fight?"

"It sure feels like it, Catherine." he replies, "No matter how many laughs I laugh or the number of smiles I smile, the very being of my past haunts me. The old Vincent Keller mocks me every day and there are times I struggle to maintain the man I've become. What if, what if I'm losing myself and with given time, the old me will come out of his shell and the new me will crawl back in?"

"Vincent, listen carefully. Okay?" He nods so I continue. "I may not know all that has happened while you were in high school but the Vincent I know and see every day is the Vincent inside here." I point to his heart. "The Vincent I know is not a monster. I won't ask for specifics but how did you turn your life around?"

"JT said something that put me into perspective. It was like he said some kind of magical incantation and sent my old self back into its Pandora's Box. I know your mother meant well but how can I use my old self as a way to better myself?"

"Like I said, Vincent, you're already winning the fight. Your old self may not be the focus here." I say.

"What do you mean?" he asks as he looks into my eyes.

"Think about it, Vincent. Who you were in high school is not who you are. I'm guessing the man you are now is the same as the boy you were before high school; you're only older and wiser than you were before. Therefore, the man you are now is your true self, Vincent; not your high school alter ego. You said your brothers were killed in 9/11 right?"

He nods.

"You see, their deaths are the initial cause; their deaths, I assume, are the reason you wanted to become a doctor, right? You want to make sure no one else loses a family member like you did, am I correct?"

Once again, he nods but smiles as he places his hands on mine. "Thank you for reminding me of my real reason for wanting to become a doctor. Somehow, I had forgotten it because of my guilt."

"To win the battle once and for all, Vincent, you need to forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself for being human and for making human mistakes; never forgive yourself for who you are. You are who you are and your mistakes are what build you into the person you are today. If you forgive yourself for whatever you've done in high school and truly mean it, you'll finally feel free. You'll remember it to remind you to never return to that darkness but you'll have the conviction you need to win your daily struggles your old self seems to tempt you with. Does that make sense?" I say realizing my words may have sounded too confusing.

He nods and to my surprise, he kisses to tips of my fingers. "Thank you Catherine."

Just as I was about to reply to him, both of our phones buzz. I look over at my phone and it's a text from Tess:

Meet the gang in the quad.

We're goin movie.

"Was yours from Tess?" Vincent asks and I nod.

"Did she tell you what movie?" I ask as we consciously separate from each other.

"Mine was from JT. He said Tess was going to text you since he didn't have your number. Apparently we're going to see _The Bourne Ultimatum_."

"I've already seen that movie." I laugh. "I saw it on the day it came out. I really don't want to pay for the same movie twice."

"That makes sense. You're in luck. I've already seen that movie too. Went with a couple of guys from the medical program on opening night. Want to see a different movie together? I'll pay."

"Tempting…what do you have in mind?" I ask.

"We could go see_ The Nanny Diaries_." He suggests but I give him a weird look.

"Do you honestly think you'll enjoy a chick flick?"

"Point taken." He replies and before he suggests another movie, I think he saw _Pride and Prejudice_ sitting on my dresser. "You like Jane Austen?"

I nod. "I know some people think her works are cheesy storylines but based on the time period they were written in and the customs of the English people in the Romantic Era, I think her books are brilliant. _Pride and Prejudice_ is my favorite one."

"Looks like we both have something in common. Though _Pride and Prejudice_ is a classic novel, my favorite is _Northanger Abbey_."

"_Northanger Abbey?_ I don't think I've read that one yet. It's on my to-read list though."

"Oh you'd love it. There's nothing better than a budding romance between a rich man of mystery and a middle-classed young woman. Believe it or not, the main character's first name is also Catherine."

"Oh really? Don't tell me the man of mystery's first name is Vincent too." I laugh and he joins in as well.

"No…Unfortunately it's not. His name is Henri." He smiles. "Since you and I both seem to like Jane Austen's works, how about we see _Becoming Jane_ while the others see _Bourne Ultimatum_?"

"Sounds like a plan." And my evening couldn't get any worse! Or so I thought. During the movie, I couldn't help but wonder about Dr. Mark's words of taboo: 'treatment' and 'serious'. Was it really a good decision to put him on hold while I enjoy life? Am I really enjoying life right now?

The moment our movie finishes, Vincent and I exit the theater and realize that the other group must have left already; our movie started twenty minutes after theirs began. We throw away our half-eaten popcorn and walk to the nearest subway entrance. Once we are on the subway, I couldn't help but lean my head on his shoulder. And I felt him leaning his against mine.

"Tomorrow's my birthday." He whispers.

"I know…Tess told me last Saturday." I reply in the same soft tone.

"I'm having a small, private gathering at Indoor Extreme Sports in Long Island City. I am hoping you can come."

"It's a good thing I bought you a birthday present then." I smile. "I wouldn't have wanted to return it since it's such a great present."

"Did you have any doubts?"

"Maybe at first but Tess convinced me otherwise." I reply.

"Tess is great when it comes to figuring people out. If there would be anyone to convince you of anything, I'm sure it would be her." He laughs. "She's a great friend."

"How long have you known her?" I ask.

"Ever since she and Joe started dating….so I've known her sometime since last semester."

"Ah…what time is your party?"

"How about I personally pick you up at 5 PM? It starts at 6:30 PM but I'd rather get there early. Would that be okay? You can help me get things ready."

"Sounds great." I reply softly before I doze off to sleep.

The next thing I know, I wake up around midnight and I'm tucked into my bed. I wonder if Vincent was the one tucking me in.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: August 29, 2007; Time: 4:45 PM**

"So V is picking you up at five?" Tess asks as I change into a nice looking outfit.

"Yeah…He asked me to help him with some things before the party starts." I reply.

"What's your present?"

"Not telling." I shake my head. "It's a surprise."

"So you're giving it to him during the party?"

"I thought about it but I think it would be better to give it to him after the party. I don't want classmates to make fun of him because some may see it as a corny gift but I seriously think he'll like it."

"Is it a kiss?!" she smirks.

"No!" my face reddens. "Of course not!"

"Don't deny it, Cat. I can see your desire to kiss him written ALL OVER your face!" she laughs. "Lighten up. I'm sure he's hoping for the same thing too."

I roll my eyes and say, "This conversation never leaves this room. Got that?"

"Roommate's Honor." She crosses her heart and salutes.

As I try to put on my necklace, I hear someone knocking on the door. I wrap my fist around my necklace so it wouldn't fall and head for the door to open it.

When the door opens, Vincent's eyes pop and he stutters, "Wow…y-y-you look a-amazing."

"Thanks…I really didn't think a dress would be appropriate since we're doing some extreme sports during your party so I thought plain and simple would do the trick." I reply.

"Dress or no dress, you look perfect." Suddenly he slaps his forehead. "I'm sorry. That sounded completely wrong. I promise, that's NOT what I meant."

"I know." I laugh and I hear Tess 'cough' in the background but I ignore her. "I'll be done in a sec, Vincent." I say. "I just have to put this necklace on."

"Allow me." He says and I shrug. I give him the necklace and he clips it around my neck. "How's that, I ask?"

"Great. Thanks."

As we're about to leave, Tess comes up and says to Vincent, "I'm going to borrow her for a sec. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." He replies and she pulls me aside with a smirk.

"Uh-oh. You're thinking something dirty, aren't you." I state as I roll my eyes.

"Actually, you TWO were saying some PRETTY DIRTY things yourself." She widens her smirk.

"I don't follow."

"Catherine…Catherine…Catherine. You have such an innocent mind. I mean, come on, did you not realize what you said when you told Vincent: "I really didn't think a dress would be appropriate since we're doing some extreme sports during your party."? Honestly, if I didn't intervene when I did, I'm sure you two would go off somewhere 'during his party' and have your OWN extreme sports party." She laughs. "If plain Jane clothes makes his mouth water, imagine what that dress your father bought would do to him…Hopefully he's _well-endowed_."

I slap her arm and say, "I'm not that kind of girl, Tess."

"You may not be right now but believe me when I say this, after that dance on the 15th, you'll be changing your mind!"

"Sure…Sure…" I wave and walk back to Vincent.

"Is everything alright?" he asks.

"Yup…nothing to worry about." I smile and off we go.

**Time: 11 PM**

So far Vincent's party has been a blast. Even though I ended up twisting my ankle in the fifth game of laser tag, I have been thoroughly enjoying myself. It's fun to watch everyone coming out and either shouting for victory or pouting for losing. Vincent definitely did a great job in picking the place for his party because I don't think he's lost a game yet.

He and the rest of his party mates walk out of the door and he walks over to me. "How's your ankle?"

"Swollen but I'll survive. It was hard to see in that room and I guess after running a lot the first four times, my feet wanted to put me out for the night. I'm sure it'll be fine within the week. Nothing pain medication and Ace bandages won't cure."

"The party is just about over and everyone is about to leave. If you want, you can catch a ride with Tess; I'm sure you don't want to stick around with that swollen ankle of yours." He says but I shake my head.

"Even if I'm down for the count, I'm not dead, Vincent. Like I said on Day 1, I'm a tough cookie." I laugh. "After everyone leaves, I'd like to give you my present. You've been too busy with laser tag that I wanted to wait."

"I'm looking forward to it." he smiles and leaves to thank the guests to his party.

Once everyone leaves, he walks over to me and I hand him the carefully wrapped box and say, "Here you go!"

He gently un-wraps the paper as if it the box was a patient of his and gracefully pulls out the box. He then opens the box and takes out the bubble wrap. I smile when he carefully reveals my gift to him. "Catherine, I'm speechless." He utters.

"I thought you'd like it." I reply as I gaze at the gift before him. "I saw it once in Hallmark and when I saw it was still there last Saturday, I couldn't resist."

The gift I bought for him is a wooden music box in the shape of a piano. I watch as he opens the top of the wooden piano and grin wider when the music starts playing. "Moonlight Sonata." He mutters sweetly. "Honestly, this is the best gift anyone has ever given me. Thanks."

I smile warmly and say, "I'm glad you like it.

"Like is an understatement, Catherine." He replies and I hop onto my left foot.

"Good." I whisper. He places the piano music box on the table beside us and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him. I slowly bring my arms around his shoulders and look up to him. He is looking down to me and I swear, if we weren't interrupted by his phone going off, we most likely would have kissed.

We break our contact and he pulls out his phone. "It's a 'Happy Birthday' text from my sister-in-law, Lydia. She married my eldest brother two months before he was killed."

"I'm sorry…" I reply.

"It's alright. It's been years since Michael and William have died; I'm just glad Lydia chose to remain as a Keller even though her husband was killed. She's a great woman and always checking in on me to make sure I'm alright." Vincent says.

"There's nothing more important than family." I reply.

"Yeah." He mutters but says nothing more. One the way back to campus while Vincent was driving both of us back, he finally says, "Humans are greedy."

"Hm?"

"People strive to live when they know they're going to die someday. We're all greedy. I'm also greedy for wanting to help save lives when I know they'll die eventually. It's strange, isn't it? We're selfish creatures from the beginning but even though we know we're selfish and want this and that, we are still going to die. So what's the point? What's the point to want more when, eventually, we'll lose everything?"

"Is it really greed though?" I ask and he looks at me briefly before turning back to look at the road.

"Why do you ask that?" he responds but I shake my head. "Never mind."

We do not speak for the rest of the night and shortly after he parks his car, we part ways because I convince him my foot is fine even though it isn't. When he disappears, I walk painfully towards my dorm building and thank the Lord the complex has an elevator.

**Beauty and the Beast**

Finally I am able to write in my diary for the first time today. Tess is not home so I think she must be somewhere with Joe. Thankful to have the room to myself, I pull out my diary and begin writing.

**Dear Diary, August 29, 2007, **

**Today, for the most part, was pretty fun. After all of my classes were finished, I got to have some downtime and sleep a little. Today is Vincent's birthday and I had a great time—even after tripping on my own two feet and spraining my ankle (big surprise). Vincent and I had an awkward conversation on our way back to campus because he mentioned that he thought humans are greedy. Even so, I'm glad I went to his party and am also glad he's opening up to me more. I feel bad though. Here he is gradually telling me his life's story and I haven't told him much of anything about my past. I guess I should before the dance since the scar will be obvious. **

**Who am I kidding? He's not going to ask me to the dance. If he really wanted to, he would have already, right? Then again, he didn't ask me to come to his birthday party until the day before…so maybe I still have some hopes?**

**I've decided that no matter what's happening to me, I'm going to continue to smile because, I know, somewhere in the world, the sun is shining bright. Yeah, I think I'll start living on that philosophy.**

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine.**

I finally finish writing in my diary and I put it away before I turn off my light and close my eyes. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Maybe I'll wake up with a smile on my face instead of my usual sadness. Yes…I am going to stop worrying about my future and dreading my past. I am going to face everything day by day and as it comes my way. I'm done worrying; I'm going to stay positive. I have to stay positive. It's the only way I'm going to remain sane for the time being. I'm done looking down; I'm going to look up and smile every time I see the sky because someday, I'll find my shining sun. I'll find it if I always look up and never look down.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"_The white clouds looked very beautiful as they drifted across the blue sky. Right, in the future, whenever I'm stuck, I'll look at the sky. In the __**Sukiyaki **__song, Kyu Sakamoto sang, "I look up as I walk along, so my tears won't fall . . ."  
That's good, that's the spirit._**"**

**~Aya Kitou (Chapter 3; The Start of Distress: Understanding the Disabled)**

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara:**

**Hello all! I hope you enjoyed ch. 3 :)**

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**NOTES: **

***SATB means Soprano/Alto/Tenor/Bass**

******_**Rōmaji**_** is a Japanese term to describe their language when using Latin alphabet. **

For example, English word: Hello; _Hiragana_ (basic form of Japanese writing): こんにちは; _Kanji_: (The Japanese word for 'hello' is not written in Kanji.) _Rōmaji_: Konnichiwa

In Japanese writing, young students start learning Hiragana. Then, as they increase in their education, they start learning how to write in _Kanji_. All words can be written in _Hiragana_ since this form of writing consists of the basic Japanese syllables for each word like "ko/n/ni/chi/wa" That's why you see five characters in _Hiragana_ form of Konnichiwa. For more information about _Hiragana_ or if you'd like to see a chart of _Hiragana_, simply Google "Hiragana Chart."

Although all Japanese words can be written in _Hiragana_, not all can be written in _Kanji_ or _Katakana_. _Kanji _is used when mainly writing native Japanese words (mostly consisting of nouns, verbs and adjectives). _Katakana_ is similar to Hiragana but is used to write the Japanese translation of a foreign word like "Computer" The _Rōmaji _form of "Computer" in Japanese is "konpyūta." The _Katakana _form for this word is: コンピュータ

Unlike many languages which use a Latin-based writing system (like English), the Japanese calligraphy (and practically all other Asian writing systems) is very complex but interesting to learn.

**I hope this was a GREAT history lesson for you. I think my knowledge of the Japanese calligraphy system is pretty accurate but if there's something off and you know about it, don't hesitate to tell me! :)**

*****A Capella: Vocal music without accompaniment from any instrument. The only instruments used are voices.**

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**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY! I would like to see at least five reviews from this chapter. Thanks! **


	5. Somewhere Far Beyond

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Four: Somewhere Far Beyond…**_

**August 31, 2007**

After my last class finally finished, I decide to spend most of the lovely day outside in the quad. I sit down underneath a tree and pull out my newest reading project: _Northanger Abbey._ After thirty minutes or so, Vincent sits down next to me and asks if I'm enjoying the book.

"I have to agree, it IS good but I'm still a Darcelizabeth shipper at heart." I laugh.

"Darcelizabeth?" he eyebrows me. "That's something I haven't heard before."

"What? People combine names of lovers on TV; why not with books?"

"Don't get me wrong, Catherine; you're term is great. I'm just surprised someone else combines book couples' names too." He smirks. I wonder what happened to the serious Vincent after his party the other night. I wonder why he thinks humans are greedy. "Hate to break it to you, toots, I'm a Henratherine shipper all the way."

"Woah…" I say, amazed.

"What?"

"You said 'toots'. What century are you from, anyways?" I laugh. "I don't think that word has been used in ages!"

"I'm a man of many centuries." He teases. "Anyways, how is your ankle? It looks like the swelling has gone down."

"Yeah, I think the swelling went down sometime yesterday. Remember? I'm a tough cookie." I smirk. "I went to see Mrs. Browning yesterday and she told me I barely even rolled it. So I'm good as new."

"So…do you have any plans on the 15th of September?" he asks, causing a grin to form on my face.

"Why, Vincent, are you about to ask me to go with you to the dance?"

"If I said yes, would you go with me?" he responds.

"That depends…Are you willing to accept embarrassment if I stumble on my feet while we dance together? I have been klutzy lately."

"I think I can bundle up my pride for a night and lock it in a box." He chuckles. "Catherine, I promise that if you fall, stumble a little or break a shoe, I'll be there to pick you back up."

"Let's say I do fall…and it requires immediate medical care, would you be willing to leave the dance and accompany me at the hospital?" I ask. He may not realize it but this is a highly important question on my part.

"Catherine, what future medical doctor would I be if I didn't see to it that you were okay? No matter what the extent of the damage is, I'll be sure to get you the proper medical attention; whether it is from me or from a doctor. I promise."

"Okay…then I guess I _could_ tolerate an evening with you." I smirk and he laughs.

"I'll pick you up at 6 PM that night then?"

"Sounds good. I'll give you some money tomorrow for the ticket."

"There will be none of that, Catherine. As my date for the dance, you will be treated like a date and I will not have you paying for your own ticket."

"Fine…alright. I guess some things can't be helped." I sigh and just as he is about to say something else, my phone rings. He picks it up, hands it to me and I answer it. "Hello?"

"_Hey Catherine. It's me. Heather is at school right now and has cheerleading practice after class. And you know your father is also at work. I left some files at home on my desk; is it possible you could stop by the house, pick them up and drop them off to me?"_

"Yeah…I can do that…what time do you need them by?"

"_No later than 4:30 PM. The sooner; the better."_

"No problem. I'll leave right now. I'll call you when I arrive at New York General."

"_Thanks Catherine. Drive safely."_

"I will." I say before ending the call. I turn to Vincent and state, "Sorry but I have to go. My mom needs me to drop something off for her."

"You need a lift?"

"Nah. I'll be fine." I say. Then again, who knows if I'll some freak accident because my body hates my mind right now. "Actually, if you wouldn't mind…"

We stand up and walk to his car before heading over to my house. When we arrive, I unlock the front door with the spare key hidden under the placemat and quickly walk inside to grab what I need. Once I obtain her files, I turn around and head back towards the front door when another headache sweeps over me. I grasp my head with my hand and the next thing I know, her files slip from my hands and fall all over the floor. Vincent must have seen what had happened because he hops out of his car and rushes inside.

"Catherine! Are you okay?!"

"Yeah…I just…I just got dizzy all of a sudden. Maybe it was something I ate." I lie.

He helps me pick up the files and says, "Maybe while you're at the hospital, you should get looked at."

"I'm fine, Vincent. I promise. Let's just go and get these documents to my mother." With that said, we leave my house silently as if nothing happened.

After Vincent parks in the parking garage, he says, "Catherine, are you sure you're fine?"

"Yes, Vincent. I am." I reply with a fake smile. "Thanks for worrying about me though."

He nods and we take the elevator to the third floor where my mother's office is. I tell Vincent to wait outside her office as I walk inside. When I open the door, she looks up and I say, "Are these the files Mom?"

"Oh good! Thank you from bringing them, Catherine! I don't know where my mind was this morning!" Mom exclaims. "Has Dr. Marks called you about the CT scan results?"

"Not yet..." I lie some more. "I'm sure he's so busy, he's probably forgotten about them."

"I want you to call him tomorrow if he doesn't call tonight." She states.

"Mom, tomorrow is Saturday. I'm sure he has the day off." I reply. "Anyways, I should probably go. Okay?"

"Alright…Take care. I'm anxious to see your choir's performance on the 14th!" Mom smiles. "I think you picked a lovely song."

"Thanks Mom. Like I said, I gotta go."

"Okay." Mom laughs and says, "Enjoy your weekend!"

"I will!"

I come back out and Vincent says, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah…I got to check something really quickly. Okay? Go ahead and meet me at your car; I'll be back in ten minutes tops."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Vincent. I am sure. I'll call you if I need you; besides, I'm in a hospital so if I have a headache again, I'm sure I'll be taken care of."

"Okay…if you're not back in ten, I'm going to look for you." He says and pats my head before he leaves. When I know he's gone, I take the elevator to the fifth floor—the Neurology floor. Even though I didn't want to know my diagnosis yet, I was curious of what types of patients Dr. Marks is in charge of.

Some of the doctors smile at me and say hello as I walk down the hall. Suddenly, just as I am about to go up to the receptionist's desk, a bouncy ball smacks me on my back. I turn around and pick up the ball as a little Japanese girl comes running down the hall to retrieve it.

When she stops before me, I say with a smile, "Kore wa anata no bōru wa arimasu ka (Is this your ball)?"

She nods and I give it back to her. "*Onēsan* arigatō gozaimasu (Thank you, older sister)!" She looks around and gives me a look of confusion. Finally she asks, "Ē to... Anata wa watashi ga papa no heya o mitsukeru no o tasukeru koto ga dekimasu ka? Sore wa heya 502 desu (Um...Can you help me find papa's room? It's room 502)."

I nod and say, "Anata no namae wa (What's your name)?"

"Watashi no namae ha Fujiwara **Haine** desu (My name is Haine Fujiwara)." She holds her ball in one hand as she takes my hand with her other one. I lead her down one hallway and then to another. I don't blame her for getting lost as she was playing. I certainly would if I were her. "Kokode wa, sa rete imasu. (Here we are.)"

She runs to her father and says, "Papa! Ane wa watashi no michi o modotte mitsukemashita (Papa! Older Sister helped me find my way back)!" She holds up some kind of flat clear chart and slowly, he starts pointing to different Japanese syllables. I wonder what's wrong with him. I see another chart with the Latin alphabet instead of Hiragana. As he points to the different syllables, Haine reads them out loud. "A…ri…ga…tō…. (T…h…a…n…k y…o…u…)."

Then I bow down and say, "Mondai arimasen" (No problem)." As I straighten myself up, I notice a little card above his bed, saying: CONDITION: Neurological; PRESIDING DOCTOR: Dr. Evan Marks.

Suddenly, a woman comes in and Haine runs up to her, exclaiming, "Mama!"

They exchange a few words but their voices are too low for me to hear. Then her mother walks up to me and smiles, "Thank you for helping my daughter." To my surprise, Haine's mother speaks English very fluently. I smile and ask, "What is his condition if you don't' mind me asking?"

"Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease. Some people call it Spinocerebellar Ataxia; others call it Spinocerebellar Atrophy. It's sad but about fifteen years ago, he started falling down a lot and then we find out he has a disease. Luckily there's nothing wrong with his mind; only his movements."

Just as I am about to ask something else, my phone starts ringing. "Excuse me…I have to go."

"Thank you again for your kindness. If you can, stop by another time. Haine would like that, I'm sure."

"Thanks. I will." I smile and then disappear out of the room.

"Hello?" I answer as I make my way towards the elevator.

"It's been over ten minutes Catherine. I gave you fifteen. Where are you?" Vincent asks.

"Fifth floor. I'm on my way down right now." I answer and before he could say anything else, I end the call.

We meet back up in silence because I don't want to explain why I was up in the neurology department. Anytime he asks a question as he drives us back, I avoid it by changing the subject.

**Beauty and the Beast**

When I get back to my dorm, I'm glad Tess is still out. Immediately, I log onto my computer and google "Dr. Evan Marks." I pull up a website and it says: "Dr. Evan Marks currently works at New York General. Specialty: Patients with Spinocerebellar Ataxia."

I then look up "Spinocerebellar Ataxia" and read several different descriptions; many of them saying the same thing: "…a progressive disease where patients will start losing control of their nervous system…loss of walking ability…wheelchair…bedridden…choking…problems with writing…speaking…etc."

Now I'm sure something's wrong with me.

**Beauty and the Beast**

During dinner, Vincent asks me to accompany him as he finishes up a project in a chemistry lab. I decide there's nothing better for me to do so I follow him into the lab.

"Thanks for coming with me. I shouldn't be too long but I thought that if someone helped me with some of the work, it wouldn't take as long."

"I hope you know what you're doing, Vincent because I surely have no idea what chemistry even means." I laugh halfheartedly.

"That's why I asked you, Catherine. If I asked JT, I could risk cheating since he's going into biochemistry. All I need for you to do is write some things down as I tell you to write them. Okay?"

"Sounds easy enough." I say.

After an hour or so, we finish and he thanks me by offering to buy me ice cream at the local ice cream parlor. I accept his offer and we walk over there. I sit at a table while he buys his and my ice cream and as I watch people walking by, I couldn't help but remember what I had read on the computer earlier.

"Here." He says as he hands me my cone. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah…I'm just…thinking…"

"Care to share?"

I don't really know how to form my words so I just say what's on my mind. "Remember when you said you think humans are greedy?" He nods and his eyes pleas me to continue. "Well, is it…is it really greed? I mean, is it really selfish for humans to want to live—especially those whose times are limited. Why is it such a bad thing for people to want to live for as long as they can? Is it wrong to want to live? Is it?"

He lowers his cone down but doesn't say anything.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I start crying as I say, "What's so wrong with people choosing life over death?"

"Catherine…"

I wipe the tears from my eyes and force a smile. "I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me…I think…I think I should go back to the campus now. I'll see you around, okay?"

"Catherine, I didn't mean to offend you…Let me at least walk you back." He says but I stop him from standing up before throwing away my ice cream cone.

"No…I need to…sort some things out…Thank you for the ice cream and everything you've done to help me this year…I really appreciate it…and…and…I'll see you around, okay? I…I've gotta go." As much as I want to stay with him and tell him what I think is going on with my body, I can't. I can't let him see my tears anymore. He doesn't deserve someone who's sick; defected. He deserves someone who will be able to walk with him down the beach in the future, not someone who may never walk again.

Once I am out of his sight, I slow down my pace and start to slowly walk home. I'm not even halfway to the school when it starts to pour with rain. When I see the school in view, I hear someone calling my name. The rain cloaks the sound and I'm not sure where it's coming from. Finally, I hear Vincent calling my name as he's risking his neck by running towards me in the rain. He could slip and hurt himself! Why is he risking his safety for my sake? Why?

He stops about two feet in front of me and shouts against the rain, "I don't want to wait!"

"What?!" I yell back.

"I said I don't want to wait!" he says as he takes a step and a half forward.

"I know!" I reply. "I'm asking what because I don't understand what you mean!"

"This." He mutters before cupping my face and bringing my lips to his. To my surprise, I don't push away; I pull him closer. I snake my arms around his neck and he does the same around my waist. My fingers instinctively start to weave into his hair as my legs wrap around his waist. We cling to each other as long as possible before he pulls his lips away from mine. "I should…I should probably be heading back to my dorm."

"Yeah…I should to…" I mutter as I bring my legs back down. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." He whispers before pressing his lips against mine ever so slightly. "Goodnight, Catherine."

"Goodnight." I utter and he jogs towards his dorm complex and like a silly high school teenage girl, I skip to mine. I guess some days can get better after all.

When I enter my dorm room, Tess says, "Where have you been?! It's storming out there, Cat!"

"I lost track of time." I smile to myself.

"Woah…Cat…you're glowing! AND you're wet! No pun intended!" she exclaims and before I know it, she's one inch from my face. "Spill, Missy. I know something must have happened between you and Vincent!"

"Well…" I suggest as I grab a towel out of my closet and add, "If you must know, you're going to have to wait until I'm done with my shower."

"If you don't tell me right now, I'll crash your lonely shower party and MAKE you tell me there!" she threatens.

"Sorry Tess, I don't kiss and tell." I laugh and start heading out of the dorm when she grabs my arm.

"He KISSED you?!"

"Shhhhhh! Not so loud!" I place my pointer finger in front of her mouth. "I don't want the whole world to know!"

"But why?! You're practically married to each other with the amount of time you two spend together."

"I don't know if Vincent…or even I…am ready to start a relationship with someone…There's still a lot to sort through and …and…and…"

"You're running out of excuses, Cat. Admit it, you LIKE him!"

"M-maybe…I mean, I really do like him but…I just don't know if now is a good time for me to be in a serious relationship, Tess. I have a lot going on…Things I'm not ready to share with anyone yet; yet alone my parents."

"Wait…please don't tell me you're a stripper, Cat…" her eye twitches.

"What?! Hell no! That's definitely NOT what I was referring to!" I defend myself. "I need to take a shower now…a COLD shower…" With that, I disappear from the dorm before Tess could ambush me again.

**Beauty and the Beast**

When I return, Tess is fast asleep so I sneak in, quickly change into my PJs and pull out my diary.

**Dear Diary, August 31, 2007**

**Mom asked me to pick something up for her and Vincent offered to take me there. When I got home, it felt weird to set foot in there since I don't really live there right now. Anyways…the only weird thing that happened today was that I felt dizzy and all of the files I had in my hand fell to the floor. Luckily, Vincent was there to help me pick them up. **

**We delivered the documents to her as soon as possible and then I went to the neurology department alone because I wanted to find out what Dr. Marks's medical specialty was. Unfortunately, I didn't get to talk to a nurse first-hand. Instead, I helped a little girl named Haine find her father's room. Then I notice that his presiding doctor is also Dr. Marks. I found out his disease maybe the same one I have. I don't know because I haven't been diagnosed yet. All I do know, at this point, is that the early symptoms of his disease are happening to me right now. **

**Most of the rest of the day went pretty normal…except…after a wimpy argument, I run off but he chases me in the rain. I don't know what was going on through his head at the moment but he told me he didn't want to wait and when I asked him what he was talking about, he kissed me! A senior in college KISSED me, a freshman! Right now, I am so confused because I do like him…a lot…but if I'm sick, it wouldn't be fair to him…Maybe it's best if we avoid each other for a while…until I figure everything out? **

**If I do in fact have Spinocerebellar Ataxia, then I have to start staying positive no matter how progressive this disease is. I have to look to the future and believe that somewhere far beyond the present, I remember the person I am now…and cherish who I am for as long as I can. **

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I close my diary and put it away before turning off my light to go to bed.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**September 01, 2007**

At breakfast, I see Vincent sitting at his usual table so I walk over to him and say, "Can…we…can we talk?"

He nods and tells the guys he'll see them later. We order our breakfast to-go and when they are done, we leave the dining hall in silence. We sit in the quad and also eat in silence. Then, finally, Vincent says, "What is it, Catherine?"

"About last night…I…I think we should forget about it for now." I say as my words taste like venom.

"Why?"

"I just…I have a lot going on at this moment and I need some time…to sort out my feelings and to figure out what is best for me, Vincent. I'm…I think…I…just…think it's best to not progress in whatever we have….at least not yet. This is hard for me to say, Vincent, it really is but I need to be fair with you."

"How is this fair?"

"Because, Vincent, there may be something going on with me that I can't explain right now. I won't know for sure until the 14th, after our concert. Until I have time to think things through and consider what may be going on with my life, it's just best to not repeat what happened last night."

"Catherine…don't do this…You felt something last night; I know you did or else you wouldn't have kissed me back too." He says.

"Vincent…this is so hard for me to tell you because it's the LAST thing I want to happen but I'm only trying to do what's best for you…and me…Believe me, I'm craving for more but for both our sakes, it's only fair for me to figure everything out and I can't do that until the 14th. I don't want us to start something wonderful only to have it destroyed weeks later…Please, give me until the 14th! I promise I'll still go with you to the dance but…we have to keep our distance."

"Catherine, you told me to stop dwelling on the past and look at the present. Now, I'm telling you to stop worrying about the future and focus on the present because let me tell you something. My brothers died for America…They went and saved almost fifty lives before the towers collapsed on top of them. Every second of every day counts…Michael and William learned from their mistakes and moved forward. They never thought about what may happen or what will happen; they only thought about what WAS happening. I may not know what's going on with you right now and why you're trying to create distance between us but I do know how precious life is because it could be taken away at any moment!"

"You said…you said humans are greedy for wanting to live longer! Now you're saying life is precious? Which is it, Vincent? You can't have it both ways!"

"When I'm with you, I think differently, Catherine. I don't know why but every moment I spend with you, the things I've believed in are changing. You shed light in my life in ways no other person has done before. You're always optimistic, you always seem to have something to say—good or bad, I say one thing and you contradict it and provide a different perspective for me. Catherine, when I'm with you, I feel like I can make a difference in peoples' lives; I feel like I can carry the world on my shoulders and help as many people as I can; I can't explain it but I've never felt so alive until I met you. Every fiber inside of me is gradually changing the more I spend with you. So you cannot sit here and tell me I should forget what happened last night, Catherine!"

"Do you think this is easy, Vincent?! Do you think I can just pull you out of breakfast and tell you I felt nothing last night?! If anything, I want you to be a part of my life in more ways than one! If my life wasn't at a crossroad between dreams and reality, I would stop talking this instant and pull your face to mine…and…kiss you so damn hard, your lips would bruise!" I confess but immediately cover my mouth afterwards.

He pulls my hands away from lips and leans forward until I could feel his warm breath tickling my skin. He laces his fingers with mine and whispers, "Then what's stopping you?" His lips inch closer and even though I think it is best we don't get involved, I also can't seem to stay away.

"To hell with it." I mutter loud enough for him to hear as I close the distance between us. Vincent's right, all that matters is the present and every single second is important. If I can't have love in the future, I might as well have it while I can.

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

"_The Other Side of Suffering_

_Everyone feels pain  
But surely, after suffering satisfaction will arrive  
Even with sports; studying or other ordeals with life,  
It's like that for everyone  
If we can beat the pain, on the other side  
a rainbow of happiness awaits us.  
That will definitely become a treasure  
Let's believe in that."_

_~Aya Ikeuchi's Poem from the TV series "One Litre of Tears" (Episode 9)_

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

***Onēsan~From what I have observed from watching J-Dramas, many young Japanese children call older children their older siblings even if they aren't related. It has to do with a level of respect. **

**Source: **

**http *COLON* *SLASH* SLASH* tvtropes*DOT*org/pmwiki/pmwiki*DOT*php/UsefulNotes /JapaneseSiblingTerminology?from=Main*DOT*JapaneseSiblingTerminology**

****Haine is pronounced: Hi-ee-neh**

**PLEASE review! :) I tried not to rush this one but sorry if it seems like it was rushed. Let me know what you think! **


	6. Is Where I'm Meant to Be

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Five: …Is Where I'm Meant to Be**_

**Date: September 10, 2007**

It's been a little over a week since Vincent and I started seeing each other and I am happy. Anytime I am with him, I forget about what is happening with my body; I forget my inner pain and want whatever we have to continue for as long as it can. Classes have finally ended for the day and I am now getting ready for an evening out with Vincent. He wants to show me something tonight; I don't know what it is but I'm excited. It's our first date together. We would have gone out before now but Vincent had a project he needed to finish and I didn't want to distract him from his studies.

"So…when are you to going to go viral?" Tess asks as I look at myself in the mirror.

"Hm?"

"You know…when are you actually going to show everyone outside of our little circle that you two are dating? For all we know, Alex may still think Vincent is single. You better be careful Cat because if I know her as well as I think I do, she's probably cooking up some kind of Revenge Stew. No offense, girl, but I bet you're the main ingredient."

"Tess, I'll be fine. She can try whatever she wants; I won't let her win. I have enough problems in my life already and I refuse to add Alex to that pile. I promise…I won't falter to Salter."

"Cute…" Tess rolls her eyes.

I walk closer to her and change the subject. "Now…I can't believe I'm asking this but…How do I look?" I spin around in a nice black skirt and a light purple blouse. "Do you think this'll be appropriate for a first date?"

"Cat, I'm sure you would turn him on even if you wore a cashmere sweater. I don't think you have time to change into a fifth outfit. Didn't you tell me he's picking you up at 4:30 PM?"

"Yeah."

"Wel—" Before she could finish her statement, we hear a knock on the door. I freeze, unsure if I'm ready for a first date but Tess lightly kicks my bumper and sends me straight to the door. I open it and Vincent smiles. "Hey."

"Hey." I reply.

"Seriously, you two have made out behind bushes and trees several times in the last few weeks and all you say is 'hey'?!" Tess exclaims as she throws her hands up in the air. "Honestly, even Joe and I didn't act that awkward with each other!"

We ignore her and decide to take the elevator down to the first level so we could have some privacy. The moment the elevator door closes, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. "Now that we're alone…" his voice trails as his lips meet mine. Just as our kiss deepens, I hear the elevator's beeping stop so I pull away before the door opens.

"Good call." He whispers and as much as we want to hold hands as we leave campus, we've decided to go 'public' at the dance since we want a few more days of private togetherness. The second we enter the subway car and sit down, I lean against him and his fingers lock with mine.

"So what do you want to show me?" I ask.

"You'll see…I hope you don't mind travelling in the subways for a bit. It's about a 45 minute ride." He whispers closely to my ear.

"That's fine…I don't mind." I reply and I snug to him tighter. He kisses my forehead and we sit comfortably in silence as we wait for our stop to arrive. I hope I can remember this memory if anything if I lose everything else.

We finally arrive at our destination and Vincent playfully pulls me out of the subway station and onto the street. I take a look at my surroundings but don't recognize our location.

"Vincent, where are we?" I ask.

"Haven't you ever been to Inwood before?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Nope. I never had a reason to come up here." I reply.

"Well…You do now." He smiles and then says, "Hey…this may be a stupid question but you do like Chinese food, right?"

"Of course!" I laugh. "Believe it or not, Chinese is my favorite."

"Phew…I guess I chose our dinner reservations wisely then." He smirks and adds, "Come on…our table is waiting and it's a good ten minute walk from here."

"It's a good thing I wore comfortable walking shoes then." I smile as he pulls me with him. We walk hand-in-hand as we approach the restaurant as we enjoy the nice September breeze.

"It's nice to escape the big city, isn't it?" I ask.

"Yeah…it's always nice to have a breather." He replies and I see a small building section with a red onning that says:

AMY'S RESTAURANT

CHINESE & ASIAN CUISINE

We walk inside and a Chinese woman smiles at us. "Do you have reservation?"

"Yes." Vincent replies.

"Name?"

"Keller for two."

"Right this way." She replies and leads us to our table. When we sit down, she gives us our menus and states, "Your server will be here shortly. You can either order meals from menu or order buffet option. If you have questions, do not hesitate to ask."

"Xiè xiè." I reply as she walks away.

"What did you say?" Vincent asks while I pick up my menu.

"I simply thanked her in Mandarin. That's all. So, do you want to eat at the buffet? Or do you want a meal?"

"How about we eat from the buffet? That way, you can control how much you want to eat without feeling like a balloon afterwards." He laughs.

"Sounds like a good plan of action." I say.

A Chinese server walks up to us with a pad of paper and a pen in her hand. "Sorry. English choppy. Ching Lan is name I am called. What food you like?"

To save her from unnecessary embarrassment, I first ask her if she speaks Mandarin Chinese: "Nǐ huì shuō zhōngguó pǔtōnghuà ma?"

"Nǐ huì shuō zhōngguó pǔtōnghuà ma (You speak Mandarin Chinese too)?" she says, surprised I know Mandarin. I guess she doesn't meet many Chinese Americans who fluently know how to speak in Mandarin Chinese.

"Shì (Yes)." I reply before adding, "Wǒmen xiǎng dìnggòu de zìzhùcān xuǎnxiàng. Yǐnliào zìzhù zhìxù de yībùfèn, huòzhě shì tāmen fēnkāi (We would like to order the buffet option. Are drinks a part of the buffet order or are they separate)?"

"Yǐnliào zìzhù wèile fēnkāi (Drinks are separate from buffet order)."

I turn to Vincent and ask, "What would you like to drink? Beverages are not a part of the buffet order."

"Oh…um…I'll have a Sprite." He replies and by the way Ching Lan is writing his order down, she must have understood him to some extent. She looks at me and I say, "Wǒ jiāng yǒu shuǐ (I will have water)."

She nods, writes down my drink order and then says, "Plates are on rack near food. Enjoy." She walks away and Vincent chuckles to himself. "It's a good thing she knew what you were saying, Catherine, because I certainly didn't."

"Don't worry," I laugh. "I took good care of you."

"I sure hope so." He says while we stand up to collect our food from the buffet. The date has just started and I already love it! I hope all goes well for the rest of the night.

**Beauty and the Beast**

Once dinner is done, Vincent covers the bill and we head towards the exit. The hostess waves as we leave and says, "Please come again!" as we walk out the door.

"Now where are we going to?" I ask with a laugh. "Don't forget we have school tomorrow so it might not be a great idea to stay out too late."

"Catherine, it's only 5:45 PM. I think we're good on time. Besides…tomorrow…we don't have school." Vincent utters solemnly.

"Oh. Right." I reply. "I'm sorry for reminding you about it."

"It's okay Catherine. It happens." He responds as we head towards Inwood Hill Park. Although I've never been here before, I've heard a lot of good things about this park; especially romantic things. We walk around parts of the park for a good forty-five minutes when Vincent says, "We need to go."

"Go where?"

"To our final destination." He laughs as he picks me up bridal style and spins around a few times. "Did you bring your camera like I asked you to?"

"Yep." I nod. "It's in my purse."

"Good." He replies before giving me a short yet sweet kiss. "Now, we need to hurry to the subway station if we want to make it there in time."

"I think it would be faster if you carry me. We don't want to risk me falling flat on my face, do we?"

"Not at all." He whispers before walking the both of us towards the park's exit.

When we board the subway train, we sit much like we did on the way to Inwood and simply enjoy each other's company. At one point during the ride, I trace the long scar on the right side of his face and softly ask, "What happened?"

I know he heard me but he doesn't answer so I leave the subject alone entirely but I do not remove my fingers. A few moments later, Vincent whispers, "This is our stop." I nod and follow him off of the subway train and into the streets. Vincent looks at his watch and mutters "6:55 PM. Come on or we'll be late."

"For what?!" I exclaim as he laces his fingers with mine and gently pulls me down the street with him.

"There's something I want you to see and it has to be EXACTLY 7:12 PM for you to see it!" he says excitedly as he pulls me with him. About ten minutes later, he starts slowing down his pace, saying "Ever been to Inspiration Point?"

"Not in many years." I reply. "The last time I was here, I was with my father; I was having trouble with an assignment so he brought my sister and me up here. Heather was six and I was eleven. As my dad minded Heather, he told me to write what I see so I did."

"Did you know the place was actually called Inspiration Point?"

"Not when I was working on my assignment. On the way home, I asked him where we were and he told me. I had planned to return back here but I just never had the time."

"Well I'm glad to give you another chance to come back here. I come here every year…to reflect my thoughts…It is one of the few places my brothers and I had shared when they were alive. On September 10, 2001, my brothers and I came up here to escape the city for a while. At that moment, I never knew it would be the last precious moment I have with my brothers."

"Vincent, I'm so sorry." I touch his arm as we finally walk up the five steps of Inspiration Point.

"It's okay…I'm okay." He says as he stands behind me and wraps his arms around my torso. I rest my palms on his hands and lean into his chest. He places his chin against the left crook of my neck and whispers, "Catherine…look to the west." He points westward and I see the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen in my life. The sun touches the water and sends out a beautiful glow through the ripples.

"It's beautiful." I gasp and he tightens his hold on me.

I turn around in his embrace and pull him in for a gentle kiss. "Thank you Vincent. I really needed to see that." I start tearing up.

"Hey now…I didn't mean to make you cry." He says as he wipes my tears from my face. "What's wrong, Catherine?"

"I just…I have this heavy burden I am carrying and as each day passes, the load gets heavier and heavier." I say as I look back at the setting sun so he wouldn't see my tears continue to fall. "Seeing this sunset…with you…gives me hope…"

He wraps his arms around me from behind once more and says, "Catherine…let me carry half the burden for you."

"I don't think it would be that easy, Vincent. Just promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll still see me as me if anything changes between us. Okay?"

I can tell he wants to ask me why I'm talking like a person on her deathbed but he doesn't. He just simply nods and holds me closer. I wipe the tears from my eyes and wiggle out of his embrace for a moment to fetch my camera. I turn it on, point it towards the sunset and press the clicker. I see a middle-aged couple standing on the opposite side of Inspiration Point so I walk over to them with Vincent in tow before asking, "Excuse me…Could you please take a few pictures of us in front of the sunset?"

The couple looks at each other and smiles. The woman says, "Of course."

"Thank you." I reply as I hand her my camera.

"How many photos do you want?"

I look at Vincent and he shrugs before mouthing the number five.

"Five." I say to the woman."

"You're in luck, missy. I happen to be a former photographer so don't sue me if I ask you two to pose in a certain position."

"That's fine." I reply. "Whatever method works is fine by us."

"Alright." She smiles and leaves her husband (I assume) for a moment to take a few pictures of Vincent and me. When she finishes, we thank her and she and her husband depart, leaving us alone on Inspiration Point. I look back at the five pictures she took and smile.

The first one was of Vincent holding me from behind my back with the sunset to our left. For the second picture, she suggested I hop on Vincent's back as if he were giving me a piggyback ride. My arms are wrapped around his neck and my face is resting on top of his right shoulder. In the third picture, Vincent and I are facing each other and our hands are clasped together. Our eyes are closed and the sunset is glowing within the space between us. When I click the next preview button, I could feel my lips forming another smile.

"I like this one." I say. I show him the picture of us still clasping hands and facing each other but we are silhouetted and his lips are on my forehead.

"Yeah…that is a pretty one." He replies and I look at it for a second longer before going to the last one.

"Actually…I think I like this one better." The last picture the lady took is perfect. Again, we are silhouetted with the sunset as our background. Unlike the other four pictures, we are kissing in this one. I think I might use this photo as my computer desktop.

Vincent takes my camera from me to have a closer look at the picture and grins. "Email these to me when we get back, okay?"

"I will." I reply as he places my camera gently into my bag. We stare at the sun in silence as it continues to sink below the horizon for a little while longer until Vincent decides to say something.

"Catherine…tomorrow is 9/11 as we both know and I want you to join me at the memorial service. I need your strength."

"Don't worry, Vincent. I'll be there." I say.

"Thank you." He whispers. "Hey…let's promise not to tell anyone about the photos. Okay? I want us to keep them to ourselves until the 15th."

"Good idea." I smile and give him a small kiss on the lips. When the sun is completely out of sight, we decide to head back to campus and finish the date off with a heated make-out session on the subway train.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"I had a really great time, Vincent." I say as we enter the campus grounds. "I hope we can do something like this again someday."

"I'm sure we will." He answers, not knowing the real meaning behind my statement.

We walk hand-in-hand until we arrive at my dorm complex entrance and then it was all friend-mode again. He escorts me to my door and gives me a quick goodnight kiss before disappearing down the hall. As I open the door, Tess asks, "Well? How was it?"

"It was wonderful." I smile. "I had a really great time and hope we will be able to go again sometime."

"Where did you two go anyways?"

"Oh…You know…around." I reply with a giggle. "It was a nice first date."

"That's good." Tess smiles. "We should probably get some shut eye. We BOTH know tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day."

I nod and grab my shower things. "I'll be back."

I take a quick shower and return to my room. I slowly walk to my bed so I wouldn't wake Tess up and carefully turn on my lamp. If it wasn't for her eye mask, I'm sure she'd have my head right now. I turn on my computer, upload the photos and email them to Vincent. Then, I write a small entry in my journal about how enjoyable my day was. As I put my diary back into my drawer, I hear my phone buzz.

I unlock the screen and see that Vincent sent me a text: **"Thx 4 photos!"**

I smile to myself and reply: **"Ur welcome. BTW, where do u wanna meet 2morrow?"**

I finish getting ready for bed when he finally replies: **Fountain 6 AM. Don't eat brkfst.**

I figure he wants to take me out to breakfast instead so I press 'K' and send it. When he doesn't respond within the next five minutes, I assume he either went to sleep or doesn't see a reason to respond. In any case, before I close my computer, I save the photo of us kissing as my desktop background. I look at the picture one more time and smile. If I actually DO have Spinocerebellar Ataxia and lose almost every aspect of my life, I hope Vincent is the one thing I never lose. I think I'm falling in love with him…

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: September 11, 2007**

As planned, I meet Vincent at the fountain and we go to Denny's for breakfast. Instead of ordering two different meals, we decide to order one meal for both of us. I normally don't eat a lot for breakfast and we really didn't want to take leftovers with us.

"My brothers and I came here for breakfast almost every weekend. We wanted a time and place where we could talk about our daily lives and catch up with one another. Michael, my oldest brother, was already married and living in New Jersey. William, my older brother, also lived on his own. About six months before 9/11, he bought himself his own apartment from the money he saved." Vincent explains after we order our food.

"It must be hard coming in here." I say as I squeeze his hand lightly.

"Believe it or not, today is the first day I've been inside a Denny's since their deaths. I can't explain it, Catherine, but you give me strength."

"Just remember, Vincent. Even though your brothers are gone, it doesn't mean the memories aren't there. Maybe…maybe you haven't been here in six years because you…wanted…or even needed someone to share those memories with. It's easier to look back on the past and reflect on the times you want to remember when you're with someone to…share them…to talk about them…Am I making any sense?" I laugh a little, thinking I am just rambling on and on and on.

He gives my hand a small squeeze and smiles. "It makes perfect sense."

Our food arrives and we eat quietly and quickly so we can make it to the 9/11 memorial service before it starts. Once we finish, Vincent pays for the meal and we leave Denny's to start heading for Ground Zero. To comfort him, I lace my hand with his so he remembers he's not alone. The service is beautiful and although I didn't know anyone who was killed on 9/11, I am glad Vincent invited me to join him. Grieving is always better when you have people to share it with.

Once the five-hour-long service is done, we see thousands of people leave the site, however, we stay where we're standing.

"We can stay for as long as you want. Okay?" I mutter into his ear and he nods. We stay there for about fifteen more minutes before leaving.

"Come on." He whispers, "Let's go to their graves."

"Okay." I answer as I let him pull me along with him. We arrive at St. Paul's Churchyard and stand in front of both Michael and William's graves. Vincent kneels down and I place my hands on his shoulders and kiss the top of his head.

"I don't remember if I told you this but they were helping to evacuate people from the North Tower…I don't know how many they had saved but from what one of the paramedics said Mike and Will wouldn't retreat when they had the chance. They had refused to leave until they could help as many people as possible. They were my heroes and as a high school sophomore, I aspired to be a firefighter…but…as you know, plans change…and so do dreams."

"Things happen for a reason, Vincent. We may not know why for a long time but even the most horrific tragedies happen for a reason." I say as he stands up and puts his arm around my shoulder. I wrap mine around his waist and pull him close to me.

"But why them?" He asks with a broken heart. "Why did THEY have to die?"

"I wish I knew, Vincent." I could tears in my eyes as I say, "There have been things in my life that I question all the time. Why me? Why did this happen to me? Why not someone else? Then I realize that no matter how many times I ask myself why things happen, it doesn't change anything. Everything is what it is and although answers are not always found, there's always a reason. We may just never find it."

He notices the tears from my eyes and he twists his body a little and places his palms on my face to wipe my tears off of my cheeks. "Hey…I'm the one who's supposed to be crying, Catherine."

"I know…it's just…I..." I couldn't finish what I want to tell him so I smile. "You know what, I'm okay. I just got a little emotional but I'm okay."

He kisses my forehead and starts to say something but a middle-aged man walks up to us and asks, "Are you a member of the Keller family?"

"I am…" Vincent answers. "Excuse me but do you know my family?"

"Forgive me; my name is Carl Mitchells. I was a worker in the North Tower and every year I have come to the Keller brothers' gravesites to thank them for everything. If it weren't for their courage and their conviction, I wouldn't be here today."

"Did…Were you one of the people they saved?" Vincent asks.

"Yes. I am. I was the last person they saved before the tower collapsed…As I have said, I have come here annually to pay my respects but I also come for a purpose. The eldest Keller brother, Michael, requested I retrieve a letter from inside his locker. He told me which station to go to and gave me a name to whom I should deliver it to as we headed for the first floor of the North Tower. Unfortunately, he did not give me a last name to a man named Vincent. This year is the first year a member of the Keller family has crossed paths with me at this cemetery. Can you help me sir? Do you know who this Vincent is?"

"I…I'm Vincent." Vincent replies. "The Keller brothers, Michael and William, are my two oldest brothers…well, they WERE anyways."

"You have no idea how thrilled I am to have finally found you at last! I was afraid I would never find you." Carl says as he digs through his briefcase. "I hope this letter helps give you closure and, if you'd let me, I'd like to thank you properly for your brothers' valiant deeds."

"There's no need. Living your life is payment enough." Vincent states. "My brothers only shared one enjoyment during their work; the glory of saving a person's life. If you live your life as best as you can, I promise you, you'll be thanking my brothers."

Carl bows and smiles. "I am eternally grateful for your brothers' sacrifices. I am the CEO of a private hospital which provides top notch in-home care for anyone who needs it regardless of medical reason. Here's my card." He hands Vincent his card and continues, "If you ever need our services for any reason whether for yourself, a family member or a friend, please give me a call and anyone apart of or involved with the Keller family will receive free in-home care if ever needed."

"Thanks…I guess." Vincent replies as he places Carl's card in his pocket.

"Anytime. Now, I must return to my family but it's an honor to meet you, Vincent Keller!" Carl exclaims as he starts to hurry off.

However, Vincent yells, "Wait!"

"Yes?" Carl turns around.

"You said you were the last person my brothers saved before the tower fell, right?"

"Indeed."

"Then do you have any idea how many people they were able to save?"

"If I remember correctly, I think they mentioned fifty or so. When they got me safely to the paramedic, they left to go back inside. Only seconds later did the tower fall. I'm sorry for your loss and I wish I could have stopped them but they ran in before I could shout anything. Oh and one more thing…Tonight, everyone who was saved by your brothers will be meeting inside St. Paul's Church. It would be an honor if you and your girlfriend came. We all would love to pay our respects."

We nod and he leaves without another word to return home to his wife. "That…certainly was unexpected…" Vincent says as he looks at the unopened letter.

"Do you want to open it now?" I ask.

He nods and slits open the envelope. He pulls out the letter and I take the empty envelope from him and step away so he can read it in private. However, he folds the letter in his hands, laces his fingers with mine and guides me to the nearby bench. "I need you with me as I read it." he says.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Will you read it to me?" he asks.

"Vincent…it's a private letter…I don't want to impose…"

"Please?" he pleads and I sigh. How can I argue with such a face?

"Alright. I'll read it to you." I whisper before kissing him on the cheek. He hands me the letter and I unfold it slowly before I start reading the written words on the piece of paper.

_Dear Vincent, _

_If you are reading this, Will and I are dead. We made a pact long ago to help guide you into adulthood so you can live the best life you can. I am writing this letter because I have a feeling neither Will nor I will return home…and since you're reading it, my gut-feeling became true. I don't know how long it's been since our deaths but we want you to know how much we love you; you are the best kid-brother anyone could ask for. Now, since we aren't here to guide you anymore, this is the best solution we could think of to still get our message across. It is currently 9:15 AM on September 11, 2001. The Twin Towers were just hit and the station is calling for backup. We'll be leaving as soon as this letter is written. _

_First and foremost, take care of Mom and Dad. Dad will be furious, probably, because Will and I disobeyed him. He told us to stay at the station and take phone calls. We're needed out there, V. We can't just sit idly by while people are dying and catastrophe is afoot. If we have died, then we are honored to have helped as much as possible on 9/11. This event, as horrible as it is to say it, will go down in history and we will be a part of that history. We will save as many lives as we can because that's our motto as firemen: People First, Fire Second, Self Third._

_I know Mom may blame you for our deaths since you tried to stop us from going earlier but don't blame yourself, little brother. Don't forget, we signed our Death Certificates the moment we entered the field. You'll understand once you become a fireman…but if you choose another path, we're proud of you regardless. You need to step up and don't let our deaths take control of your life. Tell Lydia I love her and I'm sorry for not being there for her as she faces marriage life alone. Also tell her it's okay to move on…to find someone else to love. I have no regrets for being her husband for the short time we had together. _

I flip over to the next side of the page and continue.

_When you meet 'the one,' remember to cherish her above all things. If you have to be late for class or work because she needs you for whatever reason, don't hesitate. Be there for her because you won't want to lose her. Although I haven't met her and you probably haven't met her either, I already love her as a sister. Love is not a one-way street. If you love her, show her. I promise that if you always serve, respect and be there for her, your relationship will be rewarded in ways that are beyond your imagination. Here's a little secret for you, Vincent. If you are willing to sacrifice everything for this girl—your life, your money, your time of day; everything—there's no doubt in my mind that she's the one. _

_Will and I must go now so I have one last piece of advice for you. When you have met 'the one' and plan on spending the rest of your life with her, give her everything and expect nothing in return. Everything you do must be done to please her, not yourself. If you remember this advice, you will be rewarded abundantly. _

_People say love is priceless but I think differently. Love has a price. If you love someone wholeheartedly, you pay everything in order to be with her. If you're not willing to give up everything for a woman you're in love with, she's not 'the one.'_

_I love you, Vincent. Don't take anything for granted; life is precious._

_Forgive but never forget. _

_Love, _

_Michael Rowan Keller_

_William Royce Keller_

As I finish reading the letter out loud, I felt hot tears stain my face. Michael and William truly loved Vincent and were looking out for him. I fold the letter along its already made creases and slip it back inside its envelope. "Do you want me to put this in my bag?" I ask as I place my hand on his shoulder.

He nods but doesn't say a word so I place it inside my purse before leaning against his shoulder and lacing my fingers with his. We sit in silence for a while before he says, "JT was right…"

"Hmmm?"

"I don't really want to go into details but my family took my brothers' deaths pretty hard. I got into alcohol and sex at sixteen and not long afterwards, my parents got a divorce. I tried living with my mom first but just as Michael said in his letter; she blamed me for their deaths. I was at the station and I knew they were going to the Towers. I looked up to them so I didn't want to question their judgment. Mike told me to go home so I did. I never thought it would be the last time I would see them."

"Vincent, you couldn't have known what would happen." I say but he shakes his head.

"I knew what the risks were, Catherine. I knew how horrible the Towers were and knew people were dying; I just wouldn't accept the fact that my brothers would be a part of that math. My mother was so distraught, she kicked me out of the house. She didn't want to do anything with me anymore. So, I went to live with my Dad. He had retired from the firefighter life and started working as a bartender. Life with my father wasn't any better than life with my mother. Although he claimed he didn't blame me for their deaths, his looks would say otherwise. He never once looked at me more than a second. He hated the fact that I looked too much like my brothers. So, I would go to parties on the weekend and sleep with a different girl each week. I thought sex would help fill my emptiness. It never did. It wasn't until the last semester of my junior year, when JT knocked some sense into my brain. He was looking for me to tell me that my mother had passed away when he found me wasted and trying to start my car…

**Flashback**

**Third Person POV**

_As JT was looking for the home that Vincent was partying at, he recognized his best friend's car and saw someone trying to turn on the car. He rushed to the vehicle and sure enough, Vincent was as drunk as drunk can be and was trying to put the keys into the ignition. _

_JT knew Vincent was still grieving and can be a hothead at times but he didn't think he was stupid as well. "Move over!" JT hollered at his best friend as he hops in the vehicle and physically pushes Vincent into the passenger seat. _

"_Gehhhht owooot!" Vincent yelled. _

"_FAT CHANCE!" JT screamed. "You're flippin' drunk! There's no way I'm going to let you drive home like this!"_

"_You ha..have…yourrrr ownnn caaar…Driiiive it!"_

"_Took the subway, V. Now, I'm driving if you want to sleep on a decent bed tonight." JT stated and he drove his wasted friend back to his house, knowing he needed to make sure Vincent sobers up before going home. _

_When they arrived at his place, he pulled Vincent out of the car but Vincent sloppily shrugged him off. "Dohnnn't tuhch meeee!"_

"_You won't be able to make it up those porch steps if I don't help you." JT said as he grabs for Vincent's arm only to receive a punch in the face. _

"_I SEHHHHD DOHNNN'T TUHCH MEEE!"_

"_FINE! SLEEP OUTSIDE! SEE WHAT I CARE!" JT screamed as he threw up his hands. _

"_FINE! IT'S NAHHHHT LIIIIIIKE YOOOOU CARRRRRE ABOWWWWT MEEEE ANYWAYYYYYS!"_

_JT turned around and marched over to Vincent. "Not care? Not care? Who is the ONLY one who stayed by your side while you're in this…this phase?! Who offered you a place to sleep when you and your father were fighting?! WHO SAVED YOUR FRIGGIN LIFE TWENTY MINUTES AGO BY TAKING OVER THE WHEEL?!" _

"_NO ONE ASSSSKED YOOOOU TO TREEEEAT ME LIIIIKE A CH-CHARIIITEEEE CASSSSSE!" Vincent screamed. _

"_NEWS ALERT, V! YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE HURTING! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST PEOPLE ON 9/11?! YOU MAY HAVE LOST TWO BROTHERS AND I GET THAT! I UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY IS! BUT YOU'VE BEEN SO WRAPPED UP IN YOUR FANTASY THAT YOU DON'T SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE!" JT started jabbing him in the chest as he said, "YOU HAVE DISGRACED YOUR BROTHERS IN EVERY WAY; DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THEY'D BE PROUD OF YOU FOR WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY!"_

"_YOOOOU DOHHHN'T UHHHNDERRRRRSTANNNND, JT! MY LIIIIIFE ISSSSS FRIGGIN MISSSSERRRABULLLL!"_

"_IF IT'S SO MISERABLE, WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! HMMM!? WHY HAVEN'T YOU KILLED YOURSELF YET IF YOUR LIFE IS SO 'FRIGGIN MISERABLE'?!"_

"_WHYYYY DIHHHHD YOOOOU DOOOO IT, THEHHHN?!" Vincent asked JT. _

"_DO WHAT?!"_

"_SAVE MY F***ING LIFE!? IF YOU WAHHHNT ME DEAD SOOOO BAAAADLY, WHY DIIIIID YOU TAYYYYKE OVER THE DRIIIIVERRRR SEAT?!" _

"_BECAUUUUSE!"_ JT shouted as loud as he could as he threw his hands up in the air. "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY BEST FRIEND FOR A SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE!"

**Present**

"'_I don't want to lose my best friend for a second time in my life!'_ are the words he said to me that changed my life completely. Call it a divine intervention if you will. He was right, Catherine. About everything. I was blinded by my emptiness to realize how much my life affected JT. He had already lost me once, and the way I was living my life would have killed me for a SECOND time if he never showed up at that party. He saved my life in more ways than I could ever be grateful for. He was right when he said Mike and Will would be ashamed of me…I had failed them…" Vincent bows his head shamefully so I stand up, face him and then squat down.

I place my hands on his face and whisper, "Look at me, Vincent. Look at me." When he finally does, I say, "Look at your life now, Vincent. You're a medical student and you have the kindest heart I know. You may have had a few rough years of grieving but…look at what you've become. You have not disgraced them by any means; we are human, Vincent and sometimes we take grieving to extremes. But that doesn't make us any less human. You said your brothers always enjoyed their work when they were saving lives. Now? When you become a full-fledged doctor, you'll be continuing their work by saving even more lives. Remember what Michael wrote in the last section of his letter?" I ask as I re-open the letter to show him. "He said: Forgive but never forget. I think your brother wrote those last words because he knew you'd be hurting and that you would be going through a rough time. I think…your brother Michael wants you to forgive yourself for everything you've done in response to their deaths…He wants you to use your dark memories as a weapon when you face dark times again…If you remember your old self and swear you will never return to that man again, you can use those experiences to remind you that alcohol and sex are not the answers to fulfill your emptiness. Make sense?"

He places his hands on my cheeks and nods. "Where were you all my life?" he asks before bringing me in for a kiss.

I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. He breaks apart from me and whispers, "We should go…It's about 2 PM and I'm starving."

"Me too." I reply and he picks me up bridal style as we head for Subway to get some lunch.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I open my door slightly and find that Tess is gone so I assume she's with Joe. "The close is clear; Tess is AWOL." I whisper and Vincent smirks. We sneak into the dorm room and we sit on my bed. "What did you think of that little gathering?" I ask.

"I feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted off of my chest. I have always wondered if they succeeded in saving any people before they died and now, to know they saved at most 50 people, it's astonishing. I feel prouder of them than I was when they were alive."

I smile and kiss him lightly. "Your brothers seem like wonderful young men. I wish I could have met them earlier."

"Me too. Someday I'll take you to our favorite vacation spot. It's heavily romantic and perfect for summer weather."

"Romantic, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"And you would ask me to accompany you on this 'romantic' getaway?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

He leans into me and pushes me down against my pillow before kissing my fiercely. I wrap my arms around his neck and start playing with his hair. We kiss nonstop for ten or so minutes before a certain someone clears her throat. "Ahem!"

We immediately part from one another and see Tess tapping her foot with her arms folded across her chest. "Am I interrupting something?"

I glare at her as Vincent sits up and I follow suit. "No…we were just…exercising our lip muscles." Vincent replies and I mentally slap myself. Exercising lip muscles? That's the cutest but lamest excuse I've heard in my life!

"Uh-huh…surrrre…and if given a half hour or so longer, you'd be doing MORE than just exercising your hips. LIPS!" she corrects herself but I know she made that mistake on purpose.

Vincent stands up and I walk him to the door. "Sorry about that." I say.

"Don't be." He smirks and gives me a goodnight kiss. "See you tomorrow?"

"Most definitely. Breakfast. Dining Hall. 7:15 sharp." I smile.

"Got it." He gives me one more kiss before disappearing down the hall. I walk back inside and before Tess could say anything, I say, "Save it!"

She laughs to herself as she shakes her head but heeds my request. I grab my things and head to the showers to take a REALLY COLD shower. When I return, Tess is working on homework so I pull out my diary to write into it.

**Dear Diary, September 11, 2007**

**Today, Vincent and I grieved over the loss of his older brothers Michael and William. Vincent received a letter from a stranger who happened to be one of the people Mike and Will saved on 9/11. The letter entailed a lot of information and was super sweet. Then Vincent told me the story he's been wanting to tell me for some time now. I think he was scared to tell me because he didn't know how I would have reacted. However, dispite what has happened, I don't care. The things that happen in our lives shape us for whom we are today. I think…no…I know I am falling for him and also know it's unfair. However, I don't think I can stop…I love Vincent Ryan Keller.  
**

**I've decided that no matter what happens to my future, I want to remain beside Vincent for as long as possible because he's where I feel safe…wherever he is, I feel as if that's where I'm meant to be. **

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I put my diary away and turn off my light. I smile to myself and think of Vincent as I finally drift to sleep. Instead of worrying about my future, I think of him…and how much I love him. Yes…he's where my heart is meant to be.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all you're doing now._

_~Aya Ikeuchi from One Litre of Tears (TV Drama)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**YAY! You've finished Ch. 5! Sorry it took so long to update! First I didn't like the first writing of this chapter so I rewrote it. Then, I had a wedding to go to and then a HORRIBLE storm came and I needed my computer off during it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and sorry for its length…I just couldn't stop typing! :) See you next time!**

**Also, here is a link to an image I created as one of their photos! :) **

**https*COLON*SLASH*SLASH*sites*DOT*google*DOT*com/s ite/mynormaliswhenimwithyou/_/rsrc/1370150287561/ home/batb-fanfiction-images/one-litre-of-tears-ima ges/1%20L%20of%20T*DOT*jpg **

**I don't know why but it FF is putting a space btwn s and ite when there isn't one. I will post this link to my profile too if there are complications. **


	7. I Wonder What Will be Waiting for Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Six: I Wonder What Will be Waiting for Me**_

**Date: September 14, 2007**

**Time: 8 AM**

"Enjoy breakfast?" Tess asks me as I reenter our dorm.

"Yes, it was nice." I smile. "We ordered our food to-go and then ate our breakfast inside his dorm room."

"And JT didn't mind?" Tess asks with wide eyes.

"He wasn't there." I laugh. "JT was having breakfast with Sarah in the dining hall. We wanted to spend some alone time together and found an opportunity."

"And I'm guessing you two did WAY MORE than just eat breakfast."

"Well, if you count us making out as 'way more', then yes." I grin as I open my closet and pull out the concert outfit I plan to wear today.

"It's not fair, you know?" Tess groans.

"What's not fair?"

"The fact that you and your choir mates get out of a full day of classes while I'm stuck hammering my brain with useless knowledge. Say…you don't think there's a way I can miss class to root for your class, do you?" Tess asks as she sits up from bed.

"Well…I guess you'd have to talk to your professors. If you think they won't let you miss class, you can always skip…Just don't mention my name in the conversation." I state while buckling my black slacks.

"Hmmmm….I guess I can skip….Oh wait…I have a test today." Tess frowns. "Looks like I'm just going to have to attend your concert competition thingy in spirit. I can't afford to skip out on my test today…especially since my last one wasn't exactly pleasing to the eye."

"That's okay, Tess. It's the thought that counts right?" I say as I finish getting ready for the competition. "By the way, I'm leaving shortly after the competition for a family outing so I won't be back until Sunday night or so. Can I trust you to hold the fort?"

"Promise to bring me back a souvenir and we have a deal." Tess smirks and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright. Deal." Now I just have to find somewhere to go to and pick up a souvenir for Tess. That's tomorrow's problem. Once I finish putting on my make-up and making sure I have everything I need, I leave my dorm and head for the Music Hall. Even though we were asked to arrive close to 10 AM, Vincent and I want to meet up early so we can practice syncing together with my directing and his piano skills. I'm pretty sure we're good on the syncing part so I think it was just an excuse to be alone together.

On my way to the Music Hall, Vincent meets me halfway.

"Hey." He smiles and I could tell he desperately wants to hold my hand.

"One more day, Vincent. One more day." I laugh.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, Catherine." Vincent whispers for my ears only.

"Oh…I'm sure I do." I say as I purposely brush my shoulder against his arm. "So…I need to tell you something."

"Okay…What?" he asks while we continue walking towards the Music Hall.

"After the competition today, I will be going to the doctor…Remember when I fell on my chin a few weeks back and my mother took me to the hospital?" He nods so I continue. "Well, during that appointment, my doctor felt it was necessary to perform a CT scan. About two weeks or so ago, my doctor called me and told me the results were in. However, I…I asked him not to tell me what may or may not be wrong until September 14th…today. I'm telling everyone else that I'm going on a family outing but you are the only one I want to tell the truth to."

We stop walking and he turns to face me. "Catherine, do you think these results will explain why you think you've been klutzy lately?"

"I am hoping I will receive answers but…but I don't know how positive the results will be. For all I know, my CT scans will say something horrible." I reply as I feel tears fall down my cheeks.

"Do you think it's serious?"

"I have an idea of what it is but I don't want to diagnose myself with worry when my CT scans could be positive readings."

"Do your parents know you've made this appointment?"

"No. I prefer it this way…"

"Don't shut your family out in something like this, Catherine. If your CT scans happen to have negative readings, you'll need their support more than anything." Vincent states as he discreetly takes hold of my hand.

"If there is something wrong with me, Vincent, then I will tell them. But for now, I don't want to worry them needlessly. I hope you can understand that." I reply.

"More than you know." Vincent replies. "Do you want me to be there? I can…I can even sit in the waiting room if you don't want me to attend with you for the consultation. I don't mean to be…nosey or pushy…but as a medical student, I know how important it is for patients to have as much support as they can from their loved ones and peers."

"No…Don't take this the wrong way, Vincent, but I need to do this on my own." I say as I gesture for us to continue towards the Music Hall.

"Okay…I understand. If you need me, don't hesitate to call. I will come right away, I promise."

"Thank you Vincent." I mutter. We finally walk into our classroom and, as expected, no one was there. I close the door and instead of me standing on the Director's Box, I sit on the piano bench with Vincent. I lean against his shoulder and lace my fingers with his. He kisses my temple and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

Suddenly, I have this desire to play the piano. I haven't played in years but for some reason, I want to play something. "Vincent, can I play a song I learned some time ago?"

"Sure…what song is it?"

"Listen to it; maybe you'll recognize it?" I suggest with a smile. He scoots over a little and I place my fingers on the keys. "Fair warning: I haven't played in years so it may still be rusty."

"I'm sure it'll be lovely." He says and I laugh.

"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend."

"Am I? I don't believe we've ever defined our relationship yet." Vincent replies he leans in for a short kiss.

"Actions speak louder than words." I mutter before I give him a small kiss. Before things could get hot and heavy, I push him slightly back and place my fingers back on the keys. I take a deep breath and close my eyes to help me remember the notes.

"Don't try to think, Catherine. Let your fingers do the talking. They'll remember the song more than your mind will." Vincent whispers as I place my fingers on the keys for the first chord of the song. Once again, I take a deep breath and gave complete control to my fingers and press down on the first set of keys.

I let my fingers float along the piano as I play basically the only piano song I know—_Only Human_ by K. Vincent was right. My fingers are playing the song so naturally as if I've never stopped playing after sixth grade. I used to love playing the piano but my piano instructor was a badass and I had to quit. To make sure I didn't have a teacher like him again, I decided to quit piano altogether.

It's ironic how life works sometimes. My favorite piano piece (that I can play) tells a story much like my own. Even without the lyrics to this song, I can hear my own story embedded into the musical melody my fingers play. I close my eyes and my fingers dance across the keyboard as they follow the music's routine. When I play the last chord, Vincent pulls me in for a passionate kiss before whispering, "I've never heard that song but I'm glad to hear you play it. Why didn't you tell me you could play the piano?"

"I don't…I mean…I did at one time but, in sixth grade, I quit playing because my teacher made it less enjoyable. He made me play music only he wanted me to play; not what I wanted to play. Instead of practicing his crap, I would practice _Only Human_ over and over again until I knew it from memory." I reply.

"Is _Only Human_ the song you just played for me?"

I nod. "I hate to break it to you but it's the only song I know." And probably the last song I'll ever play. I look at the classroom clock and mentally note that it is currently 9:05 AM. "Why did we come here this early again?"

"I think it had something to do with sync check?" Vincent mutters as if he's puzzled. "Or maybe it had to do with lip syncing?"

"That depends," I whisper as I lean closer to him. "There are two kinds of lip syncing."

"But," he leans closer to me until I can feel his hot breath tickling my lips. "There's only one kind we care about."

"I think…you need….to remind me…" I utter before our lips meet. I tangle my fingers into his hair as he picks me up and walks us to the back corner of the room. When we sit down on the floor, I feel his lips leave mine as he starts sweeping his mouth across my jawline. We are so wrapped up in another world that we don't notice JT walking in.

"Ahem!" he clears his throat and instantly, Vincent and I jump apart, worried we were caught by Dr. Andrews.

"JT?" we state together, embarrassed he caught us in a heavy make out session.

"Forgot your sheet music, V." JT replies. "I came here to drop it off for you; be glad that I did because your professor is making his way down the hall as we speak. I suggest you two create some distance between yourselves and tidy up unless you want people to know just how hot and heavy you two were a few minutes ago."

"Thanks JT…Now…move along." Vincent responds as we subconsciously walk away from each other and fix our hair and disheveled clothes.

"You owe me dude." JT waves and leaves before Dr. Andrews walks in.

"Are you two early because you're getting ready for your big day?" Dr. Andrews asks, causing us to jump a little.

"What? No…we're just here because there's nowhere else to be right now." Vincent replies.

"I just came in here to set a few things down. I'll be back at ten so try not to rip each other's clothes off during your next make-out session." With that, he leaves us speechless as he disappears from sight.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Time: 11 AM**

"Alright class! Thank you for coming in to practice this early." Dr. Andrews claps.

Amelia raises her hand and exclaims, "Dr. Andrews, if there are other participants from Hudson University, haven't we been hogging this room for the past hour?"

"Good question Amelia but each choir class has their own location to practice. Girls' Choir has the quad and Concert Choir is practicing in the gym. So no, we haven't been hogging this space from other choirs."

"Oh." Amelia replies.

Dr. Andrews continues by saying, "It's time for us to start heading for the auditorium for our practice. The competition starts promptly at 1 PM and should last until 3 PM at the latest. I wish all of you luck and be sure to thank Catherine and Vincent for their participation in this competition." Dr. Andrews announces before we hop out of our seats and file down the hallway to enter the auditorium.

I watch Vincent take a seat at the piano and I make my way to the director's box. Once everyone is standing on the risers, I start the practice round. Before we could finish the song, Dr. Andrews cuts me off and exclaims, "That's all the time we have to practice. You guys have worked hard and will do great! Now, eat a great lunch and be back here by 12:45 PM."

Everyone aside from Vincent and me left the auditorium.

"Are you ready for lunch?" Vincent asks.

I nod but don't say anything. Instead, I stare at the ceiling.

"Catherine?" he places his hand on my shoulder and wakes me up from my trance.

"The time is almost here…"

"The competition?"

"Yeah…I've been hoping…wishing that September 14th would have taken its time arriving because I wanted this choir project to last as long as possible. This…this may be the only accomplishment I'll have in college, Vincent…How am I supposed to go to the doctor and possibly find out that my body is deserting me? I told my doctor I didn't want to know my results until the afternoon of the 14th because I wanted at least a few more weeks of normal…I wanted to work on this project and finish it before I find out that my life will never be the same again."

"Catherine…" Vincent pulls me into an embrace and says, "First of all, you don't even know if you have anything to worry about. Second, even if you are diagnosed with a disorder or a disease, you won't see all of its affects overnight. You'll still be able to accomplish so many more things and I'll be right there with you."

I flash him a sad smile and say, "I…I know I said I wanted to go there alone, Vincent but…I don't think I can. I don't think I can walk in as one person and come out as another. This appointment may change my life forever and I just…" I feel tears start to fall and Vincent gently pulls me out of the auditorium and into the back hall. "I just…I just want a normal life. How can I go there and expect me to be me afterwards? For all I know, Healthy Catherine Chandler will die in that hospital today…and Sick Catherine Chandler will be born."

He pulls me into a strong but also gentle hug and pats my hair. "Catherine, I can't promise what the doctor will say or what your future may be like but I swear I will be there for you in any way I can. If you want me to drive you to the hospital and wait in the car, I will do that. If you want me to sit and wait in the waiting room, I will. If you want me with you during your consultation, count me there. I can't promise you a positive consultation but you don't have to face anything alone. I'm right here and so is your family."

Vincent dries my eyes and places a kiss on my forehead. "In any case," I say as I try to conceal my broken spirit, "After the competition, I will find out whether or not my life will be different than everyone else's. Therefore…Promise me you'll play your best and I promise I'll direct the students as best I can."

"I promise." Vincent whispers and I smile because I have a feeling my days of smiling are limited. So…Even if I do have a disease, I must smile as much as I can.

**Beauty and the Beast**

Vincent and I finish lunch by 12:30 PM and now we are on our way to the auditorium to get ready for our competition. I hope all goes well because I really need this one thing in my life right now to be successful. We take our seats in the auditorium and I take a look at the pamphlet. "It seems as if we're the last group." I whisper to Vincent and show him the program.

"Then we'll end the show with a bang." He winks and squeezes my hand.

"I hope so." I reply. There are six groups competing today: three choir groups and three band groups. In order to provide a bit of variety, the choirs and the bands alternate and the first group to go is the Concert Band. Each group before us performs very well and finally, it's our turn. We walk onto the stage and after I see Vincent place his fingers on the keyboard, I start conducting the choir.

_Nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de  
Futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu  
Sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni  
Watashi to anata de yume wo egaku_

_Sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete  
Sakura no tsubomi wa haru he to tsudzukimasu_

_Afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga  
Sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu  
Ookina akubi wo shita ato ni  
Sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de_

_Arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi  
Kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto_

_Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga  
Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de  
Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou  
Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai_

_Sunabokori hakobu tsumuji kaze  
Sentaku mono ni karamarimasu ga  
Hirumae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa  
Nan daka kirei de mitoremashita_

_Umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo  
Ten wo aogeba sore sae chiisakute_

_Aoi sora wa rinto sunde  
Hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru  
Hanasaku wo matsu yorokobi wo  
Wakachiaeru no de areba sore wa shiawase_

_Kono saki mo tonari de sotto hohoende_

_Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga  
Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de  
Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou  
Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai_

When the choir finishes singing, I bring my hands back to my side and smile. Something I helped create turned out to be very beautiful. I turn around and bow with the chorus towards the audience as they clap; I am glad the last thing I touch before I go to see Dr. Marks turned out to be a success. I steal a glance at Vincent and whisper a thank-you to him before leaving the stage along with the rest of the choir. He follows close behind and we leave since the results won't be revealed until sometime next week.

"Do you want to take my car or your car?" Vincent asks as we walk to the parking lot.

"I think we should take your car, Vincent. And then you can drive me back before I drive my car to go home for the weekend."

"Sounds like a plan." Vincent smiles and we find his car, hop inside and speed off to the hospital.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Do you want me to come inside with you?" Vincent asks after my name is called by the nurse.

"No…I think I should be in the consultation room alone…but, would you mind sitting here and waiting for me?"

"Not at all." Vincent smiles and I give him a short kiss.

"Thank you." I say before following the nurse to Dr. Marks's office. I sat in his waiting chair for almost twenty minutes until he finally shows his face.

"I'm terribly sorry, Catherine. I got held up in a very important meeting. I hope I won't be making you late for anything this afternoon."

"Nope…All I have planned is this doctor's appointment." I reply.

He pulls out a few files and says, "Are you alone?"

"My boyfriend is sitting in the waiting room. I would rather have this meeting alone…I don't want my parents worrying for any reason." I say with confidence even though my insides were squirming everywhere.

"I think it would be wise for at least one of your parents to be here, Catherine."

"No…I'll be fine…Just tell me what's going on with me." I state before he sighs.

"Did you drive here?" he asks.

"No…my boyfriend brought me in his car."

"Alright…After looking at your CT scan results, what I am about to tell you is not positive news. I'm sure you've noticed by now that day-by-day, you are losing slight control over our body's motions, am I correct?"

I nod and brace myself for the words he will say next.

"Catherine, even as a doctor, it isn't easy for me to tell you this but…You have a disease called Spinocerebellar Ataxia…I regret to say that it is a progressive disease and your life will only become more difficult from here. The progress is slow but it will continue to worsen day by day. Eventually, you will lose complete control over your motor skills. In time, you will have to depend on others to help you as best as they can."

I blink a few times as I absorb the information. It's one thing to speculate about my disease; it's something completely different to have it be confirmed. "W-what do I need to do to get better?"

"Unfortunately, Catherine, Spinocerebellar Ataxia, at this point in time, does not have a cure. Doctors from all around the world, including myself, are working diligently on finding one but so far, we haven't been lucky."

"N-no cure?" I ask as I try to hold back my tears.

"Not as of now." Dr. Marks replies.

"Will this disease affect my mental status?" I ask. I remember Haine's mother mentioned something about her husband not being affected mentally but everyone is different, right?

"No…Although you will eventually stop being able to speak, you will still be able to understand the world around you and communicate using an Alphabet chart. I hope you consider being treated here at this hospital so I can keep up with your disease's progress. I promise to provide as much advice as I can as your disease continues to worsen. Do you have any questions?"

"How fast is this disease?"

"It's normally a slow-growing disease but I have to warn you, the progress is different depending on the patient. While others' diseases may be very slow, another patient may have a fast progressive pace. As of now, Catherine, it is too early to tell how fast your disease is growing but in due time, I will have a better idea."

"Will…Will I be able to drive anymore?" I ask after taking a large gulp of air to try and calm my nerves.

"Until I have an idea of how progressive your disease is, I suggest you take a break from driving. I also think it would be best if you don't travel alone…Like times before, you may experience injuries from falling and it may be easier to go somewhere if someone is around to help you." Dr. Marks states.

"What classes?"

"For now, continue going to class like any other day. Like I said, this is a slow growing disease and it won't affect your daily activities as much right now. I would also like you to continue writing in a diary of some sort. It will help me keep up with your progress."

"Do you have a pamphlet or something? I would like to take one with me as I tell my family what's going on."

"Yes…I do." Dr. Marks states as he reaches for a pamphlet. "Read this carefully because it will cover anything I accidentally left out. It will also explain current treatments."

"Oh…okay…"

"Catherine, are you available to start physical therapy tomorrow at 2 PM? Since you have classes right now and you are still at the early stages of your disease, I think one day a week of physical therapy will suit for now. I hope Saturdays will work for you?"

"…Can I…speak about this with my parents first? I would like to…find out what they want to do since they will be paying for my medical bills…."

"Of course…" Dr. Marks smiles sadly and hands me the pamphlet along with his card. "Call me at any time. If I'm not at the office, my cell is written below my work number. Give me one second and I will print out a therapy availability times in case Saturdays at 2 PM will not work for you." He must have seen my solemn expression because as he hands me the warm, just printed piece of paper, he asks, "Is there anyone you want me to call?"

I shake my head. "I'll just…I'll just find my boyfriend so he can take me home."

"Would you like me to assist you?"

"I'll be alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhmm…" I barely mutter as I leave his office. I walk very slowly down the hallway as I absorb everything Dr. Marks told me. I don't know which is worse: immediate death or knowledge of a limited lifespan. If I had to choose, I would much rather die right now than face the world in humiliation. All my dreams…everything I ever wanted to be…are gone.

"Catherine!" Vincent exclaims, breaking me away from my thoughts. He runs up to me and gives me a hug. "How did it go?"

What can I tell him? How can I tell him I'm slowly dying? How can I tell him that the girl he's dating will eventually fade into nothing? Instead of telling him my whole entire world has shattered, I pull my strength together and smile. "Let's go somewhere, okay?"

He nods and we walk to his car in silence. To my surprise, he takes me to Inspiration Point again and finally says, "I thought you could use a change of scenery. I hope this will suffice?"

"Yeah…Thanks." I whisper as I walk up to the Greek pavilion and watch several birds flying along the water. I feel Vincent wrap his arms around me and hold me close to him. We stand in silence for several long minutes before I finally say, "Do you believe in Karma?"

"Not really…If I did, I certainly wouldn't have been able to turn my life around, would I?" Vincent replies but then says, "Catherine, what is it?"

"You know…my mom, being Chinese, taught my sister and me many traditional Chinese beliefs such as Karma. I never really believed in such things but now…I'm not sure what to think anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

"Vincent…there's a reason I decided to go to Hudson University instead of Princeton…and now…I'm being punished because of it." I say and wait for him to say something but he doesn't. "I was so stupid in thinking nothing could ever happen to me…I thought I was invincible. I was talented and popular in high school but…that didn't matter in the end…For a while, nothing seemed to matter…

**Flashback in THIRD person POV**

"_Are you sure your parents won't find out you snuck out the window?" Sally, one of Catherine's best friends, asked. _

"_Positive. I paid my sister $10 to pretend to be me for the night. Mom and Dad think she's at a sleepover." Catherine laughed as she hopped into Sally's. _

"_That's very evil of you, Catherine...I didn't think a future lawyer would stoop to such levels in involving her little sister." Sally replied. "I guess there's a dark side to everyone."_

"_Sally, it's not like my dad has the power to lock me up for sneaking out. Sure, he may ground me and that's a risk I'm willing to take. All we're doing is going to a party for two hours and then returning home. I'll be back in bed before they realize I'm gone." _

"_Okay…since you're worried about your parents finding out about this, I suggest you be my DD." Sally stated and pulled onto the street. _

"_Sure thing. Just remember, we have to leave on my time." Catherine said and Sally nodded. _

"_Of course…No offense, Cat, but your parents seriously need to stop babying you. You're 18 years old; they need to let you live and learn a little." _

"_Yeah…hopefully college life will be easier since I'll be out of their hairs." Catherine laughed. The two friends attended the party and Sally drank several glasses of vodka. By the time Catherine was ready to go back, she had to literally haul her friend out the door since she was too drunk to walk on her own two feet. _

_As Catherine started driving home, she got about half way until the car slowed to an unexpected stop. "Crap…"_

"_Tee-hee!" Sally giggled. "You ssssaid craaaaaap! Like poooopy pooop craaaaap!" _

"_Sal, your car just died….Have a number for a tow truck?" _

"_Whoooo neeeeedssss a cahhhhr whennnn weeee c-c-caaaaan flyyyyyyyy?!" Sally exclaimed as she expanded her arms outward and shot her head back. _

"_I'll take that as a no…I'll be right back, Sal. I think there's a gas station nearby; someone there has to know whom to call." Catherine said as she turned off the car and hopped out. "Just…stay here."_

"_Ayyyye, ayyyyye! Caaaaaptehhhhhhn!" Sally saluted to her best friend and giggled at her own stupidity. _

_Catherine left the car and started walking towards the station. Luckily, she was right and the station cashier handed her a card with a number to call. On her way back, she heard tires screeching and when she looked ahead, she saw a large gasoline truck smash into Sally's car. _

"_SAL!" Catherine screamed as she ran towards the site. However, as she ran towards the collision, she was thrown back from an explosion as tiny shards of glass sliced through her skin. She landed on her head and suffered a mild concussion. When she came to, she saw tons of fire trucks, police cars and a few ambulances surrounding the area. She carefully stood up and everything that had happened flooded back to her. She saw a charred body being carried off on a stretcher and her eyes widened. Suddenly, she started running towards the stretcher and screaming her best friend's name. "SALLY!" _

_A fire fighter grabbed Catherine before she could approach the stretcher and he said, "There's nothing you can do for her!"_

_She struggled in his grasp but managed to break free of his hold for a second before another fireman stopped her. "This area is off limits! You need to steer clear until we've assessed the damage!" _

_Catherine continued to struggle as she screamed Sally's name. Eventually, she lost her ability to scream and fell to her knees as she started crying out loud. _

"_Ma'am, you're injured and need medical attention." A paramedic said to her. "You need to be treated for your burns." _

_It took almost an hour to convince Catherine to go to the hospital. She wanted to stay at the site in hopes her friend would walk out of the damage alive. But she didn't._

**Beauty and the Beast**

"I should have died with her, Vincent. She was my responsibility and I should have called my parents instead of leaving her! I promised her I would get her home! And look what happened! She was too drunk to escape and for a long time, I believed her death was my fault.

"Then…after I returned home from her funeral, I had realized something. Sally was a free spirit and always wanted to die an unexpected death. In a strange way, it made me feel better that her wish was granted…Even if it was a twisted thought; it comforted me. To die unexpectedly…that's what everyone wants, isn't it? That's what makes life precious, right? We tend to live each day to the fullest because we'll never know when our time is up. That's why I was able to cope with Sally's death because she always lived on the edge and took chances. But now? I'm beginning to think her death was my fault after all." I stand up and walk a few steps away from Vincent so he wouldn't see my tears.

"Catherine, don't blame yourself for something out of your control. That's what Michael was trying to tell me in his letter. I wasn't really sure what he had meant when you first read it to me but I've been rereading it every day since then and I am beginning to understand it more each and every day. For so long, I blamed myself for not stopping Mike and Will from going to the Towers. I finally understand when Michael said, '_You'll understand once you become a fireman__.' _He wanted me to understand that death is not something that can be controlled. We can try all we can to prevent it but when it happens, it happens. You and I both learned that the hard way, Catherine."

"If it wasn't my fault, Vincent, then why am I being punished for it?!" I shout as I turn around. I notice a few people staring at us but I don't care. They can stare all they want; I'll have to get used to it anyways.

"What do you mean?" Vincent stands up and cups my face but I look away. "Catherine, what's going on?"

"I'm sick, Vincent." I say when I gather my strength to look at him with my blearing eyes.

"What?"

"Remember when I told you there might be something wrong with me?" I ask and Vincent nods. "I also told you I had suspicions of what could be wrong with me…my suspicions were correct."

"Okay...well…you're going to start treatment right away, aren't you?" Vincent asks and I shake my head.

"It's not that easy, Vincent…The disease I have…Spinocerebellar Ataxia….has no definite treatment…it will continue to get worse and….and…and…eventually…I won't be able to walk…won't be able to write…won't be able to speak or eat on my own…"

"Catherine…I refuse to believe you're being punished for something out of your control!" Vincent exclaims.

"The whole reason I decided I wanted to become a cop was so I can put scumbags like the one behind the truck's wheel behind bars! I wanted to avenge her death and be somebody! How can I do that now?! It's like…it's like I have this huge time bomb strapped to my chest and it's going to explode at any moment! Everything in my life is and forever will be limited! If I'm not being punished, Vincent, then why did this disease choose me?! I'm only 19 and I had a life ahead of me! Why me? Why Vincent! Why?!" I break into tears and lean against him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in as close as he can.

"I can't answer that, Catherine…but, you told me everything happens for a reason…Maybe…maybe your friend's death was to prepare you for this transition…We may not be able to know why you have this disease but maybe…the reason is not ready to be revealed to you yet."

"It's not fair!" I wail into his shirt.

"I know it's not…" he whispers. "I know it's not."

For almost an hour, I continue to sob into his arms until my eyes hurt too much to cry any more tears. He kisses my forehead and wipes the tears from my face.

"Let's go back to the campus so you can clean up before I take you to your family's place. Okay?" Vincent suggests and I nod as we walk to the subway station together.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I unlock my dorm room and we walk inside, both glad Tess is AWOL. I grab my towel and soap and say, "I'll be right back. Okay?"

"I'll be here." Vincent replies and I disappear to the community bathroom to wash my face. When I come back, I find Vincent lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

"Are you ready?" he asks when he sees me at the door.

"Almost." I say as I pack a small bag of things I think I'll need for the weekend. I make sure to grab my diary because I know I will be writing a great deal in it tonight. "Now I'm ready."

"Okay…let's go."

Just as we are about to leave the room, Tess says, "There you two are! I've been trying to call you for hours!"

"Sorry…" I say. "My phone died a few hours ago. "What's up?"

"The dance has been postponed. It's now NEXT Saturday because the Edison Ballroom had some flooding…They have moved our dance to next Saturday at the same time, same room." Tess says.

"Thanks for letting us know." Vincent replies. "Now, we have to get going if Catherine doesn't want her parents to send out a search party for her."

"Wait…I thought you had some shindig with your family, Cat." Tess states and puts her hands on her hips.

"I do…tomorrow…Since I'm low on gas…Vincent offered to take me home." I lie.

"Oh…right. Okay, carry on!" Tess smirks and I return a half smile before Vincent and I leave for my home.

When we get in his car, I say, "Please don't tell anyone…I don't think I'm ready for peers to know just yet."

"I won't…I promise."

"And…Will you be there with me when I tell my family?" I ask.

"Of course." Vincent smiles sadly before leaning in for a kiss. I don't return the kiss since I'm in no mood for romance right now. He takes the hint and drives us to my house without a word. When we get there, I unlock the house and we walk inside.

"Oh Catherine! I was getting worried!" Mom exclaimed. "I thought you said you'd be back by 4:30 PM!"

I force a smile and say, "I'm sorry. I got distracted from the thrill of the competition. Vincent and I went to celebrate for a while."

"Well at least your home safely." Vanessa replies and takes her daughter's bag. "Vincent, thank you for bringing my daughter home but I have to ask, Catherine, why didn't you drive here?"

"My car's gas is in a sad state." I lie again.

"Okay. Remind me to lend you some money to fill it up on Monday. Vincent, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"I'd be delighted to." Vincent smiles as he snakes his arm across the small of my back. I slid my arm against the center of his back and we walk to my bedroom before anyone else could spot us.

"You're unbelievable, Catherine." Vincent whispers into my ear as we lie down on my bed.

"Why?"

"You're ability to smile even during hard times amaze me. If I were you, I don't think I could do it." he says as he props his head on his elbow. I lean into him and place my hand on his chest.

"The ride back from Inspiration Point to campus allowed me some time to think. I decided that because my time is limited, I need to smile as much as I can. If I am to be limited in the future, I want to smile so people won't pity me. I think I should do as much as I can now, while I can still do things, and not give up. If there's a reason I have this disease, I'm not going to let it win over me and claim my life. I'm going to fight it for as long as I can."

He kisses my forehead and smiles. "Now there's my tough cookie I've been waiting for."

"Sorry…she took a while to surface…" I say.

We cuddle together in silence for a few minutes before I say, "I understand if you want out, Vincent."

"What?"

"You know…If you want out of this relationship before everything goes south, I understand."

"Catherine, what gave you any idea I wanted out?"

"I wouldn't think you'd want to associate yourself with a sick person."

He strokes my face and leans over me. "Catherine, sick or not sick, you're still you. Until you shove me out of your life, I'm here for you. Okay?"

"You really mean that?"

"More than you know." He whispers before he starts kissing me.

Suddenly, the door opens and Heather bursts in. "Cat! Mom needs you to h—Oh my God!"

Vincent and I immediately separate at Heather's outburst. "And that's how you do Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation." Vincent states as he tries to come up with a cover story.

"What am I? Twelve?" Heather rolls her eyes. "Seriously, the Mouth to Mouth Resus-i-whatever story is waaaay overused!"

"Who's doing mouth-to-mouth?!" My dad exclaims as he barges into my room and stands next to Heather.

"Heather! Dad! Do you mind?!" I glare at them and Heather leaves immediately but Dad doesn't.

"I'm not leaving until he leaves." Dad states.

"Mom invited him to dinner." I reply.

"Very well…However, I'm not leaving until he is no less than two feet from you."

Following orders so he wouldn't be arrested by any of my father's 'friends in high places,' Vincent sits on my desk chair and rolls it three feet away from me. My Dad finally leaves and the moment he does, Vincent whispers, "Your dad is a bit scary."

"Tell me about it." I reply as I gesture him to lock the door. He does and then lies back down with me. "I think I'll tell them tomorrow. I really want to spend the night thinking things over and figuring out what to say to them. Do you have anywhere to go tonight?"

"Nope."

"Then…maybe I can convince my parents to let you stay the night in the guest bedroom. I can come up with something like you forgot your dorm key in your dorm and can't retrieve the spare until tomorrow."

"You think that'll work?"

I nod and kiss him gently until we are called for dinner.

**Beauty and the Beast**

Mom and Dad bought into my little lie and gave Vincent permission to stay the night in the guest room. Wanting to respect my parents' wishes in hopes to be invited over again, Vincent decides it would be best to stay inside the guest room and not cross any boundaries. I pull out my diary and start writing.

**Dear Diary, September 14, 2007, **

**My life has certainly changed today. I discover I now have this degenerative disease called Spinocerebellar Ataxia…I think I've known for a while but hearing the diagnosis from a doctor is something completely different. I confessed to Vincent today of what happened last summer and then told him about my disease. Surprisingly, he is willing to stay by my side. **

**I just wonder if he'll think the same way when I start using a wheelchair. **

**My outlook on life may have changed but my conviction to move forward hasn't. I will continue to fight this disease for as long as I can. I will also continue to smile because I don't want the hearts of the people I love to break because of me. Therefore, they will never see any pain on my face as long as I can help it. **

**Now I know what it feels like to live in a cage—except the cage I now live in will continue to get smaller and smaller as I continue to get weaker and weaker. **

**Even if I have this disease, I wonder what will be waiting for me as each day comes. Will I live past 30? Will I be able to pursue my dream and become a cop? Or will I be bedridden by then or even dead?**

**I feel as if my future is on the edge of a cliff and the progressiveness of my disease could sway it either direction. If my disease is slow, I may have some type of future. If not, I might as well die. This disease has destroyed my future; I am sure of it.**

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I put my diary back in my bag and walk to the guest room. I knock on the door and hear a "Come in." Without hesitation, I open the door and close it.

"Hey…" He whispers.

"Hey…"

"Catherine, if your parents…"

"Shhhh…My parents told you not to leave this room. They didn't tell me to leave my room." I reply as I climb into the bed with him. "I don't want to 'do' anything, Vincent. I just don't want to sleep alone tonight."

He nods and pulls the covers over me once I'm settled. "Okay but just this once."

I kiss him on the cheek and snuggle as close as I can with him. I whisper goodnight and eventually, I fall asleep in his arms so the night could prepare me for my confession tomorrow.

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

_I'm really concerned about my future. I've already turned my back on my life without being aware of it. What's happened to my hopes for the future? I can no longer think seriously about what I want to be in the future. Let it be. The waves of my fate have washed me away. I don't even know what kind of occupations left for me._

_Aya Kitou_

_(Journal Entry: Chapter 4 - "I Can't Even Sing Anymore . . .")_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**Well that was certainly a LONG chapter! **

**Links: **

**For Piano Song Catherine played: **

**www*DOT*youtube*DOT*com/watch?v=kQunPjsXhyA **

**Choir piece:  **

**www*DOT*youtube*DOT*com/watch?v=8FovRwYIZPE**

**Let me know if the links do not work! :)**

**Tell me what you thought of this chapter! Anxious for more?**


	8. I Wish I Could Have Done More Things

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Seven: I Wish I Could Have Done More Things**_

**Date: September 15, 2007**

It's now noon and I still haven't told my family about my condition. I don't think I'm ready to. I think I just want them to believe I am perfectly healthy for as long as possible. Unfortunately, Vincent had to leave about nine in the morning because JT needed his help with a project but he promised he'd be back as soon as possible.

So, right now, I am the only one in the house. Dad and Mom went to buy some groceries and Heather is out with friends. Because I am alone in the house, I take this opportunity to call Dr. Marks and let him know of my decision.

So, I pull his card out of my bag and dial his number.

"_Dr. Evan Marks speaking." _He says as he picks up the phone.

"Hello, Dr. Marks. It's…It's Catherine."

"_What can I do for you, Catherine?"_

"I thought about the therapy and everything but I've decided I don't want to start just yet."

"_Miss Chandler, I don't think you understand the seriousness of your condition."_

"I understand perfectly, Doctor. I…I just want my life to continue as normal as possible for the next week or so. I would like to start therapy in two weeks. Besides, I already told my family and my parents agree with me; they want me to have a normal life for a while." I lie.

"_Catherine, I think you're making a grave mistake." _

"Tell me, Dr. Marks. Would the result be different if I start therapy right away rather than if I start it in a week or so?" I ask in annoyance. He doesn't answer. "I thought so."

"Catherine," he finally says, "This isn't a matter of physical therapy. This is a matter of your life. The sooner you're admitted, the better chance we have of understanding the progress of your disease."

"I've made my decision, Doctor. Please respect it." With that, I hang up on him and decide to run some errands. The good thing about living in New York City is that you don't always need a car to get around. I leave a note for my family to read in case any of them return before I do before I grab my purse and head out.

It's strange…This is the first time I've left my home as a different person. Somehow, I have a feeling that I won't be living on campus next semester. So much for wanting to live the college life.

As I start walking down the sidewalk towards the city, I miss my step and lose my balance for a second. Luckily, I caught myself before I fell forward. Is this it? Is this really what the rest of my life will be like? Walking around in fear because I'll never know if I will fall and hurt myself? I stand up and realize that my old self no longer exists.

I am now an empty shell…My body is no longer mine and all I can do is stay trapped inside my mind as I watch myself deteriorate.

"Cat!" I hear my name being called from behind me. I turn around and see Tiffany, my friend from high school, catching up to me. "Long time no see!"

"Hey…" I fake a smile. "What're you doing here? I thought you went out of state for college."

"Well, that's the plan but I decided to attend a local college until I have my general education finished. I'm still not sure what I want to do yet." She replies and loops her arm around mine. "Where were you headed?"

"Oh…out. Nowhere particularly." I answer.

"Sweetness!" she exclaims. "You're coming with me to the gym then! We're going to shoot some hoops like the good ole days."

"But I'm not dressed for the gym." I say. "I was actually planning on going shopping."

"We can stop by my place first! It's on the way and we're practically the same size!" she grins and I shrug.

"Alright." I say but then I remember about my disease. "You know what? I actually just remembered my cousin's birthday is this coming Thursday. I need to go and buy his gift today because I won't be able to do it any other time."

"Oh…Okay! See you around then?" Tiffany asks and I nod.

"Yeah…" I reply and she jogs off without a notice. Part of me wonders how many true friends I still have from my high school days. Sure, Tiffany is nice and all but I feel like she's forcing herself to be friendly with me…Especially after what happened to Sally.

Just as I turn back around towards the city, I decide to take a random walk in Central Park. Shopping can wait. Thoughts, however, cannot. So, without further ado, I walk to Central Park and hope a nice, decent walk will help me organize my thoughts a little bit more.

**Beauty and the Beast**

As I walk along the park, a baseball lands beside me. I pick it up as someone shouts, "OVER HERE!"

I squint and see a boy waving his arms as he runs closer to me. Instead of making him run all the way over here, I decide to toss it back to him. However, my aim is quite off; the ball lands in the small lake rather than in his hands.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!" he screams. "MY GRANDMA CAN THROW BETTER THAN THAT!" He flicks me off but I stand there like a fool.

Day by day, will I be unable to do simple things like tossing a baseball to someone?

I walk away and head for a place to sit down; unfortunately all of the benches are taken. I wonder if this is how I will feel like in the future…tired…alone…out casted. I guess I should start going home. There's no point for me to be here…

Suddenly, my phone goes off. I take it out of my purse and see Tess calling me.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Cat! How's your family outing?!" _

"Oh…um…great!" I lie.

"_That's good."_ She replies. _"I'm just calling to remind you about my souvenir."_

"Right…thanks for reminding me! I'll head up to the gift shop right now!" I say with a fake expression. "See you Monday."

"_See ya!"_

She ends the call so I put my phone back into my purse and sigh. Looks like I'll be going to the mall after all. When I arrive, I see tons of people doing weekly shopping. I wonder how many shopping sprees I have left. I walk to the mall's directory and see a few different stores I could go to. After weighing different pros and cons of each place, I settle for the store Strawberry on the second level. It has nice jewelry and I'm sure I can find SOMETHING for Tess there!

I take the escalator up to the second level and enter the store.

"Hello, may I help you?" a cheery blonde girl smiles scarily.

"Yeah…erm…I'm looking for handbags? Do you carry any of those?" It must be obvious I don't shop much.

"Absolutely! Follow me!" she smiles wider (as if that's even possible). I follow her to the back of the store and she exclaims in a high soprano voice, "Tada!"

"Thanks." I reply but she doesn't leave.

"What kind of handbag are you looking for?"

"I think I've got it from here." I say and she takes the hint. I look for about ten minutes and finally find a cute handbag with Tess's name written all over it. It's black with a light purple stripe running vertical along the center of the bag. I pick it up, take it to the cash register and hand her the bag.

"$35.23 please." The lady states with a large smile. Seriously? Why the freaky smiles? Do they not own mirrors at home? "Is something wrong?" she asks.

"Oh…Nothing!" I reply immediately as I give her my credit card so she can swipe it in the machine.

"Do you want it in a bag?" she asks.

"Sure." I say and she puts the handbag into a Strawberry signature bag before handing it to me.

"Have a lovely day! Please come back!" she exclaims and I hurry out of that store before I catch the grinning disease.

"Cat?!"

I turn around and see my sister with three of her high school friends walking towards me. "Hey, Heather."

"What're you doing here? I thought you would be spending the day with your boyfriend. By the way, where is he?"

"He's helping a friend out with a project or something. I promised a friend from school I'd get her something so here I am, getting her something." I reply as I head for the escalator.

"Well, isn't your dance tonight? Why aren't you getting ready for it?" Heather asks as she pulls her friends with her to catch up with me.

"The dance was postponed due to unforeseen circumstances."

"When is it, then?" Honestly, when does she learn to stop asking questions?

"Next Saturday. Now, I'd really like to go and get this bag home before the day ends." I reply. "I'll see you at home. Kay?"

"Alright. Tell Mom and Dad I'll be home around dinner time. Me, Jess, Allie and Kelsey are going to see a movie this afternoon."

"Okay. I will." I say and turn around. As I take a step down the escalator, my foot misses its destination and the next thing I know, I am tumbling down the hard, moving stairs. The last thing I hear is my sister screaming my name as I black out.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**~Vincent's POV~**

"Dude, that was tight!" JT exclaims. "Thanks for the help, man!"

"No problem." I smirk as he gives me a high five.

"Soooo…where's the GF?" JT asks as he takes a seat next to me.

"She's at home right now. At least I think she is." I reply with a shrug. "I'm supposed to meet her as soon as we're done here. There's something she needs to tell her parents and she wants me to support her."

"Woah…don't tell me she's pregnant!" JT's eyes widen and I'm pretty sure my cheeks turn a very bright red.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I slap him in the head. "It's something else entirely different."

"So you already know what it is?"

"Of course. She told me first." I reply as I place the beaker back on its proper shelf.

"Care to share?" JT asks but I shake my head.

"Nope. Sorry, I'm sworn to secrecy."

Suddenly, my phone starts ringing and for some reason, I get a sickening feeling in my stomach. I pull out my phone and answer.

"Catherine?"

"_Is this…is this Vincent?" _a very upset voice asks. A voice which doesn't belong to Catherine.

"This is he. Who is calling?"

"_I'm…I'm…I'm Heather…Cat's sister…" _she sniffs.

"Is something wrong with Catherine?" I ask as my heart starts to drop. Why would Heather be calling me on Catherine's phone? Why?

"_She's…she's…"_ She's not able to finish. Instead, I hear another voice finish Heather's words. _"Vincent, this is Catherine's mother. You need to come to New York General as soon as possible. Catherine has been in an accident."_

"An a-a-accident?" I ask in horror.

"_Yes…She fell down a flight of escalators at Manhattan Mall. They're performing a CT scan and an MRI right as we speak."_

"Is she alright?" My throat feels on fire.

"_She was found unconscious so I assume she had a concussion. In any case, I think she would want you hear when she wakes up."_

"I'm on my way." I state and leave JT without a word. I take the subway to the hospital and arrive no later than twenty minutes. I race to Catherine's room and find her mother, father and sister sitting at Catherine's bedside. "How is she?" I ask, startling her family a little bit.

"We're waiting for what Dr. Marks, the neurologist Catherine had the day she hurt her chin, has to say. He should be back any moment now."

I walk to Catherine's side and sit down in the empty chair next to her bed. I lace my fingers with hers and kiss her knuckles. "You're going to be okay, Catherine. You're a tough cookie, so just hang in there."

Suddenly, Dr. Marks walks in with Catherine's charts and shakes everyone's hands. "Hello…I'm assuming all of you are here to learn of Catherine's results."

We all nod and he continues. "Well, she did take a nasty fall but luckily, she only suffered a concussion and received a few bruises. She is a very lucky young woman. Most people of her size and stature are either killed instantly or in critical condition when they fall down a long escalator flight like she did. Despite her condition, she is a very lucky young woman."

"Her condition?" Vanessa looks at Dr. Marks with confusion. "What do you mean condition?"

"She didn't tell you?" he asks with wide eyes. "Forgive me, Mrs. Chandler. Catherine called me this morning and told me she informed you…"

"No…she didn't." Mr. Chandler replies. "What's wrong with our daughter, doctor?"

"Normally, it wouldn't be my place to tell you without her permission but since she did sign a disclosure form in case something serious were to happen to her, it is my duty as her specialized doctor to tell you of her condition."

Even though I understand what is going on, I stay as silent as the rest of Catherine's family.

"I regret to say this, Mr. and Dr. Chandler, Miss Heather Chandler and Mr. Keller but Catherine has a rare genetic disease known as Spinocerebellar Ataxia. Some refer to it as Spinocerebellar Atrophy as well. In any case, it is a serious matter."

"Spinocerebellar Ataxia? What the hell is that?!" Mr. Chandler exclaims.

Before Dr. Marks could answer, Vanessa replies, "It's a disease that affects the nervous system. It progresses slowly, in most cases, and in time, the patient won't be able to walk, speak, write or eat properly." She looks at Dr. Marks and asks, "But Dr. Evan, are you sure our Catherine has this disease?"

"Yes…her CT scans from a few weeks back indicate she has the disease." He answers but steps back a little when Mr. Chandler stands up abruptly.

"No! I refuse to believe my eldest daughter has some degenerative disease! It isn't possible! She's a perfectly healthy young woman!"

"I understand your doubt, sir, but I specialize over this disease and can recognize it in a heartbeat. Catherine already knows of her disease. I told her yesterday when she came to see me for her appointment."

"She told me her CT scans weren't complete yet." Vanessa says with surprise.

"Dr. Chandler, Catherine's CT scans were finished almost two weeks ago. When I called her to tell her they were in, she asked me to hold off on telling her until the 14th. I did so even though I didn't like it but I heeded her wishes. In any case, she needs to start physical therapy as soon as possible. Since her muscles are most likely sore from her fall, I suggest she wait no longer than one week to start her physical therapy."

"Doctor…" Heather speaks up, "Will she get better?"

Dr. Marks sighs and says with a sorrowful look, "Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Spinocerebellar Ataxia. The disease will continue to progress and for now, physical therapy is the only thing that'll help her in the long run."

"Just how slow is this disease?" Heather asks.

"It varies from person to person. As far as I know, it is still unclear to determine the progress rate of her disease. That's why I want her to continue writing in her diary to explain all of her symptoms."

Before he could say anymore, Catherine starts to wake up and all of our attention is on her.

"I'll leave all of you alone for a while." Dr. Marks says and leaves the room. I squeeze Catherine's hand as she opens her eyes so she knows I'm here. I need her strength as much as she needs mine. Maybe that's why we're fated to be together.

**Beauty and the Beast **

**~Catherine's POV~**

"What happened?" I ask as I open my eyes. "Why am I in the hospital again?"

"Catherine, honey," Mom starts talking, "What was the last thing you remember?"

"I…I was talking to Heather….at the mall." I try to think more but my brain is too exhausted. "I'm sorry…I can't remember anything after that."

"Well, you took a nasty fall down a flight of escalators." Mom replies. "Good news: no broken bones; just a few bruises, sore muscles and a concussion."

I feel Vincent's hand over mine and I smile as best as I can. "See, I told you I'm a tough cookie."

He chuckles a little and kisses my knuckles. "Yeah you are."

"Catherine, we need to…" Dad starts to say but Mom shakes her head and whispers, "Not now. Let's wait until she's feeling a little bit better."

"Alright." Dad replies in a low voice but Heather ignores everything Mom says and blurts out, "Cat! We know you're sick!"

"Heather!" Mom snaps. "What did I just say?!"

"No…" I reply as I try to sit up. It hurt like hell but I manage. "Don't get mad at her, Mom. Get mad at me for not telling you."

"But why, Cat?" Heather continues. "Do you think your life is a game where we have to solve one big, huge Clue game before figuring out you're sick with Spino-whatcha-ma-call-it? Hmmm? I may be the baby sister of this family but I'm not stupid! At least I know how precious life is!" she starts crying. "Why, Cat? Why wouldn't you tell us?"

"I…I wasn't ready to…" I answer weakly. "I speculated, for weeks, of what I could have and yesterday…Dr. Marks confirmed my speculations. I didn't want you guys to be mad at me."

"Honey, why would we be mad at you?" Dad asks as he squeezes my other hand.

Finally, the tears I've been holding start to fall. "I thought it was my fault…that I had gotten this disease. I thought you'd be mad at me because it's my fault I have this disease in the first place."

"You're fault? What're you talking about?" Heather asks.

I shake my head. "It doesn't matter anymore. I know now; sometimes bad things happen to good people too." I slowly move shoulder to my right eye as I try to rub my tears away. "I was also scared…of what to tell you…how to tell you…how you would react to it…and so on. I am so sorry for keeping this a secret."

"In her defense," Vincent adds, "She only just found out about her condition yesterday. Processing information like this is difficult, especially for someone Catherine's age. Don't you think it's a bit unfair for you guys to be upset with her when she's still processing her diagnosis?"

Mom nods with a small smile. "Vincent is right. We should be supporting Catherine, not chastising her. Who knows if she was going to tell us tonight? In any case, I would still like to have your CT scans observed by other medical professionals. Will that be alright?"

I nod in approval and before anything else is said, a nurse comes in and tells my family and Vincent I need my rest. Even though I wanted Vincent to stay, they told him to leave as well. I try to sleep but I feel all alone. Even though my family knows of my condition now, I still feel like I'm the only one trapped within a birdcage.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: September 16****th**

After monitoring me for 24 hours, Dr. Marks gave me the okay to go home. Although I am sore, I'm sure 800 milligrams of Ibuprofen would do the trick…for now. Since 'the talk' yesterday, my parents and sister have barely spoken to me. I don't know if they're super mad or if they're at a loss for words. In either case, I don't mind the silence. It gives me time to think of what I will say next.

"Thanks for sticking up for me last night." I whisper to Vincent as he carries me to my bedroom.

"Not a problem. Look at the semi-bright side, at least your family knows now." He replies.

"I know…it's just…it wasn't the way I wanted them to find out." I say. "It wasn't really fair to them…they were ambushed."

"Sometimes we can't control what happens, Catherine." he whispers.

"I know…I know…" I say and add, "By the way…I start physical therapy next Saturday. Since the dance is also on that day, I asked for a morning appointment but…I don't know if I'll be able to go considering…"

"Hey, if you can't go, we'll do something together somewhere else. Okay?" he cups my face and kisses me softly.

I nod and smile. "Thank you, Vincent."

"No, Catherine. Thank you." He replies and brings me in for another kiss.

I don't know what I did to deserve him but I'm glad he's here with me.

He pulls away and sighs. "I wish I could stay but I don't think your parents will let me sleep in the guest room tonight. I want to be on their good graces so I'll swing by tomorrow. Okay?"

I nod my head and say, "Call me when you get back to the dorm…It may sound stupid but I want to hear your voice before I sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." He smiles and gives me one last kiss before leaving me breathless on my bed. When I hear his car pull out of the driveway, I reach for my diary and start writing.

**Dear Diary, September 16, 2007, **

**I fell today. And this was not some lousy stumble…I fell BIG TIME in front of a lot of people and probably gave a lot of people heart attacks. Yay me! Not. I've decided to try and stay positive with this disease now that my family knows too. I don't want them to feel like I'm inferior but I think it's okay to be upset when writing in my diary. **

**I am allowed to cry by myself…and around Vincent. I'm going to try not to cry around my family and friends anymore. I don't think I could bare it if more people start feeling sorry for me. **

**Today's fall is probably the first of many falls; who knows, maybe someday, I'll fall so badly that it'll take my life. I won't tell this to anyone because they'd cry. I think dying from a fall would be my saving grace. This disease is a slow death and I want to die quickly…have it over with. But…even if it's what I want, I don't want to make anyone sad when I'm gone. So…with that in mind, I've decided to try and fight this disease because I want to continue to see the smiles of my Mama, Daddy, sister and Vincent for as long as I can. **

**Part of me wishes I could have done more things before finding out about my disease. I wish I could have made love because now, that will never happen. Even if I want it to happen…it wouldn't be fair to Vincent (if he were to be the man I make love with). I wonder what sex is like…then again, is it okay to wonder? Is it okay to wonder about something, knowing full well I'll never have it? Somehow I feel like I'm not being fair with myself. Why wonder about the things I can't have…Instead, I should wonder about the things I already have…like family…friends…Vincent. **

**No matter how I feel or what I wonder about, I still feel trapped. I think I can closely relate to the victims of the Holocaust. They were innocent people who were trapped into a world of corruption. Just like me. I was an innocent person who is now defiled and diseased. Eventually, like those thousands of victims, I will fall into complete and utter numbness. That is my destiny…to die a slow and numbing death. That's it…there's no other purpose to my life. But I will still fight because the people close to me are what's important. I'll fight so I can continue to see them. That is all. I won't fight for me; I'll fight for them. **

**Sincerely, **

**Catherine**

I sigh as I put away my diary. Will I ever have a day of rest? Will I?

**Beauty and the Beast**

I read about the prisoners in the German concentration camp of Auschwitz in the book _Man's Search for Meaning_. The book's a record of their experiences. Somehow, as a disabled person, I empathize with them. My experience seems to resemble theirs in terms of gradually becoming numbed.

~Aya Kitou (Ch. 3: 16 Years Old)

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara**

**Sorry for the wait…my wrists are still a little painful but I wanted to get chapter out. (I typed pretty slowly for my standards). This chapter was hard to write and I think it'll be my worst chapter of the story but hang in there because I have lots more planned! There will be a few time lapses coming up! :)**

**Have a good night!**


	9. Instead I Ran Away

**HAPPY NEWS:**

**I NOW OWN "ONE LITRE OF TEARS" EPISODES 1-11 on DVD! :) IT'S A GOOOOOOOD DAY! :D**

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**There will be songs in this chapter so when title is mentioned, don't hesitate to YOUTUBE them and listen as you read! :)**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

_**Chapter Eight: Instead I Ran Away**_

**Date: September 21, 2007**

It's been a full week since I've learned of my diagnosis and life is starting to get harder for me. For the last five days, I've been commuting from home with Vincent picking me up every morning and dropping me off every evening. I feel like I've become a burden for him. Who knows how many times more he has to fill his tank for my benefit. Since Tess would have worried about me if I didn't show up at the dorm last Monday, I popped in for a few minutes to give her the handbag I bought last Saturday. I also lied to her and told her my grandma Betty (who has been dead for six years) is visiting and that I want to spend as much time with her as possible. Tess, of course, understood my fake reasons for wanting to commute so I had no problem deceiving her. However, part of me thinks she'll figure things out sooner or later if I don't tell her about my condition.

The week has gone incredibly slow and whenever someone asked about my dark bruises, I would tell them the semi-truth; I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. No one aside from Vincent and my family needs to know the when, where and why.

Tomorrow, my parents are making me start physical therapy. I know, I know. How can my parents boss me around still? Well, that's a very simple answer. They have money; I don't. Dad threatened to stop paying for my phone bill if I refused physical therapy. Knowing he would follow through with this threat, I sighed during the conversation and admitted defeat. It's funny how a disease could make you feel like a child again—a poor, helpless child who obeys the disease's power. My disease controls me now; not myself. And that's something that will take weeks, maybe months, for me to accept.

"Hey Cat, where do you want to meet before the dance?" Tess asks me as she shakes me from my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You weren't paying attention, were you?" she rolls her eyes and I shrug.

"Sorry, Tess…I have…a lot going on. You were saying?" I reply as we take our seats in our only shared class.

"I was SAYING: Joe was thinking about having the gang go out for dinner before the dance tomorrow. Just wanted to know where you'd think a good place to meet beforehand would be." She sighs as she pulls out her textbook.

"How about we all meet at the restaurant around 5:30 PM, plan to eat there for an hour, and leave for the dance which starts at 7 PM by subway." I answer and she nods.

"I knew you'd be able to figure out a good game plan. I'll text Joe your suggestion and see what he says."

I smile and whisper, "Let me know."

"I will." She replies in a low toned voice as Dr. Wilkins walks into the classroom with the same ole tie he wears every day. Depending on how well my physical therapy goes tomorrow, I may not want to dance…especially because dancing would be one recipe for disaster.

At the end of class, Tess says, "Joe likes the idea and will be texting every one of the plan."

"Alright, sounds good." I say and wave. "I've gotta go. I'm meeting up with Vincent before I go home to say goodbye to my grandmother."

"Sounds cool! See ya later Cat!" Tess replies and we walk our separate ways.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Did you get Joe's text?" I ask as I walk up to Vincent. He nods and pulls me into his arms behind our favorite bush. We're still not ready to let people know we're dating; it's a secret until tomorrow night at the dance.

"Yeah. I also heard it was your idea." He smirks.

"Yep." I laugh before leaning into him. "By the way, if you want to tell JT about my condition, you may. It's not fair for you to be keeping such a secret from your best friend, Vincent. I don't want him to get mad at you."

"I'll tell him when I think he's ready to hear it." Vincent replies before lowering his head to kiss me.

"Okay…just…just don't wait too long." I say and he cups my cheek.

"I won't." he smiles before kissing me once more. "We should get you home before your father decides he wants to prosecute me for improperly shipping and handling his oldest daughter home."

I sigh. He's right. Now that Dad and Mom, hell, even Heather, know of my condition, they're going to be stricter with me when they expect me to be home. "Fine but you're not leaving so quickly. The least you can do is join my family and me for dinner. Then, afterwards, you and I can fetch some dessert?"

"What kind of dessert?" he asks suggestively yet so subtle.

"Whatever you'd like." I reply jokingly. I have to try and keep smiling and laughing because if I continue to cry, I'll have no tears left to shed. Then where would I be? He takes me home and we have a marvelous dinner before Vincent asks my parents if he can take me to the local ice cream shop—the place we went to once before our first kiss.

Dad is hesitant but Mom approves. After we leave, I'm sure Mom gave some kind of speech like _"She needs to live as normal as a life she can right now. It's important and will build her stamina for trials ahead."…_yatta yatta yatta. So, without further ado, Vincent and I leave for ice cream to top off the night.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: September 22, 2007**

"Catherine, I would like you to meet Dr. Rhoads. He will be your physical therapist and will report to me with any changes you have with your body. Okay?" Dr. Marks states as he introduces me to Dr. Rhoads. I nod and shake Dr. Rhoad's hand.

"Nice to meet you and thank you." I say with respect.

"Would you like to start now?"

"What else is there to do from 9 AM to 11 AM in a hospital filled with sick people?" I ask and he laughs at my response.

"With that attitude, you'll definitely survive the next two hours." He states as he leads me to the physical therapy room. He has me do a lot of different movements to get an idea of where I am at physically. The first hour and a half feels like an entire day until Vincent shows up with a bouquet of flowers.

"If you want, we can take a small break." Dr. Rhoads smiles as he sees Vincent walking to me. I am sitting on a bench and he bends over and kisses my cheek.

"These are for you." He smiles as he hands me the beautiful bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you." I whisper and he takes a seat next to me. I lean against him and Dr. Rhoads comes over to us and shakes hands with Vincent.

"You have a special lady right here." Dr. Rhoads smiles.

"Indeed I do." Vincent says as wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him. "I mainly came here because I wanted to find out if Catherine is physically able to go to our school dance."

I look at him and then look at Dr. Rhoads, hoping his answer would be positive. "I don't see why she can't. Her condition is still early enough where she can still participate in activities. However, Dr. Marks has the final decision but she has my approval. He should be here in a few minutes to observe Catherine's physical wellness."

"Who should be here in a few minutes?" a British voice causes all of us to jump a little.

Dr. Rhoads pulls Dr. Marks aside and starts whispering to him in code…or geek speak. I wonder what they're saying. Hopefully it isn't bad.

"Catherine, I forgot to ask you first but do you want to go to the dance? We don't have to go if you don't want to." Vincent whispers before he kisses my temple.

"I want to go, Vincent. I want to do as many things as I can before this disease takes over the rest of my body. I hope you understand."

"I understand perfectly." Vincent smiles and leans in to kiss me lightly on the lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dr. Rhoads and Dr. Marks walking back over to us so I gently push Vincent away and we turn our attention to them.

"If Catherine wants to go to this college dance, I have no problems with it." Dr. Marks states. "However," he looks at me and continues his statement, "you must not wonder alone. Always have someone with you to prevent serious injuries. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I reply with a nod.

"Very well. Now, I would like to observe the last thirty minutes of your physical therapy. Misterrrrrr….?"

"Keller…Vincent Keller…" Vincent replies immediately as he stretches out his hand to shake Dr. Marks's.

"Mister Keller, if you would be so kind, please wait for her in the waiting room." Dr. Marks says and Vincent nods. He gives me a quick kiss before he leaves and I continue my physical therapy. I'm glad I can go to the dance; it'll most likely be my last 'normal' activity in college.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Vincent is heeeeeeeeeeere!" Heather yells from down the hall. "Have a good time! Don't come home too early!"

I roll my eyes at my sister's statement as I finish applying my makeup to make sure everything looks as perfect as it can be. I've decided NOT to wear high heels because with my condition, they would be most certainly a recipe of disaster. I leave my room with my small red handbag and see Vincent waiting for me down the steps. I carefully walk down them as gracefully as I can and he stands there as if he's never seen a young lady in a dress before.

"You look beautiful." He whispers to my ear as I finish descending the last step.

"Thanks…Tess and Heather helped me pick out the dress." I reply. Luckily my parents were both held up at work and my sister was too busy to care about me leaving for a dance. She's more interested in what 'happens' afterwards. We walk out the door and to my surprise, a limo is sitting on the street and waiting for us.

"You got us a limo?" I look up at him and he caresses my cheek.

"Of course. What better way for us to have our privacy before the dance?"

He leads me to the limo and the driver opens the door for us to crawl in. Vincent helps me in first and I sit in the far back middle; Vincent sits to my left so I can lean against him comfortably. He wraps his arms around me and tells the driver to go to Le Bernardin for dinner.

"Isn't Le Bernardin a bit fancy for a college homecoming dance?" I ask and Vincent shakes his head.

"Not at all. Although this is a homecoming dance, many treat it as a second prom so fancy smancy is good." He laughs.

"I see and will everyone else be there?" I respond and he nods.

"Yep. Each couple in the group will have their own table for privacy. We'll all be eating together but also separate." He replies as we lace our fingers together. We are silent for the rest of the ride simply because we want to enjoy each other's company.

When we arrive at the restaurant, Vincent escorts me from the limo to the double doors. Just inside the entrance, everyone else is waiting for us.

"It's about time you two showed up!" Joe exclaims.

"Sorry, New York traffic is a bitch sometimes." Vincent replies as he gives JT a special bromantic hand shake. "Are the tables not ready?"

"They're setting them up right now." Tess states and walks over to me. "Long time no see partner. Did your grandmother get off okay?"

"Yeah…thanks for asking. Is our room in good condition?"

"Top condition! Although, I hate to break it to you but I did find Alex snooping in your things. Don't ask me how she got in there but don't worry; I properly took care of her."

"Wait…Alex went through MY things?!" My eyes widen. "What was she looking for?"

"Not sure…I don't think she found it. I kicked her ass before she could make it out the door." Tess replies. "I think she may have been looking for your diary because she was going through your top drawer."

"How would she know where my diary is kept?" I ask in horror. "Has she been stalking me or something?"

Vincent hears my fear and turns his attention to our conversation. "Who's stalking you?"

"I think…I think Alex may have been watching me for quite some time." I reply. "Tess caught her looking for my diary; luckily, I brought it home for the week."

"I suggest you find a new place to put your diary when you return to campus." Tess states. "If she tries looking for it again, at least it'll take her longer to look for it."

"Good plan." I say as a hostess walks up to us and says, "Your tables are ready. Please follow me."

We follow her and she shows us to three couples' tables in the center of the restaurant. While Tess, Joe, JT and Sarah claim our tables, by default, Vincent and I take the table closest to the restaurant's center.

"So, after the dance, where do you want to go?" Vincent asks me in a low whisper so others won't hear us talking.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "What activities do you have in mind?"

"Let's just see where the night takes us, okay?" he states and I couldn't help but smile.

"That sounds like a great idea." I whisper before leaning over to kiss him.

"Nhnn-nhnn." We hear Joe shake his head. "Save the nasty for after-dance party."

"Who says we're having an 'after-dance party' anyways?" Vincent fires back. "Lay off Joe and pay more attention to your date than to us."

"Yeah! What he said!" Tess exclaims and I couldn't help but laugh. Yeah, tonight is going to be good. Hopefully.

**Beauty and the Beast**

We finally arrive to the dance and already hear music blasting in the ballroom. As the rest of the gang run to dance to "Crank That" by Soulja Boy, Vincent and I sit down at an open table to watch the others make fools of themselves.

"Catherine, there's no pressure to dance." Vincent whispers into my ear so I can hear him above the music.

I lean over to his ear and reply, "I'm fine, Vincent. Grant it, I don't think dancing to hip-hop songs or upbeat songs would be the best thing for me but that doesn't mean I don't want to dance. While everyone is too tired to dance from all of the grinding and jumping, it will clear the dance floor for us during the slow songs."

"You're amazing, you know that?"

I look at him in disbelief but he continues, "No. Really, you are, Catherine. If I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd be able to think positively."

That's what you think… "It isn't easy, Vincent. But in order to keep seeing the people I love smile, I must smile in return." I reply.

Just as Vincent is about to say something, a rat spoils our conversation. "Dance with me, Vincent?"

We look behind us and Alex is standing with almost nothing but a tiny green leprechaun-looking dress. As if she couldn't be any sluttier.

"No thanks." Vincent says as he takes a hold of my hand. "I already have a date."

"Come on, Vince." She leans really close to him and smiles. "I know you love dancing."

"Knock it off, Alex." Vincent lightly pushes her away. "Catherine and I will dance to the songs we want to dance to. I'm not interested in what you're selling."

"You used to be." She mutters loud enough for me to hear but Vincent's next comment reassures me that he has no intention of going with Alex.

"That was a long time ago, Alex. Now, go back to your boy-toy because I have a beautiful young woman who needs me far more than you."

"Why you b—"

"Alex!" another voice interrupts her statement. We turn around and see Alex's date (I assume) pulling on her arm. "There you are! I almost thought you ditched me to go back to that no good shithole you used to date in high school."

Vincent clears his throat and folds his arms. "That no good shithole is standing right beside you, Bobby."

Bobby notices Vincent and gives him an evil glare. "Come to take back my girl?"

"Quite the opposite." Vincent replies. "She came over here to try and steal me from my girlfriend."

Bobby looks at Alex and throws his hands up in the air. "I give up, Alex. I tried to date you even though you're still into Keller but I've had it. I'm tired of you thinking you can use me for sex when your eyes are only lusting after your ex. It's over." He abruptly leaves but Alex doesn't chase him.

"Well, that was easier than I thought." Alex smirks. "I was trying to find a way to shake him off of my shoulder."

Right now, I wish I were wearing high heels so I could just stomp my foot right on top of her toes. That would teach her, wouldn't it? She tries to make another move on Vincent by gently rubbing his shoulder as she whispers something to him.

Vincent shrugs her away and places his hands on my shoulders. "Alex, I've told you once; I'll tell you again. I'm done with you; I have been for a very long time so I think it's high time you get lost."

"You think I'm going to give up this easily?" Alex laughs. "I'll just wait until you break her spirit, Vince. I'll just wait until you're tired of her just like you grew tired of all of those women you slept with in high school."

"Alex!" I stand up and walk over to her. "I've had it with your conniving bitchiness! You think you can persuade me to leave Vincent by trying to use his past against him?! I know about his past, alright?! Vincent told me himself and you know what?! I haven't run away! We all have monsters in our lives we must either defeat or embrace and I'm not going to lose Vincent over something that happened years ago!"

She takes a step towards me and leans over me while she jabs me in the chest. "Vincent is mine!"

"No he isn't!" I reply. "Vincent doesn't belong to anyone but himself. Right or wrong, he makes his own choices. You think it matters to me what happens in someone's past? The past is set in stone and nothing can erase what has happened. All anyone should ever care about is the present and only the present. It's the present which affects the future and Vincent…he's…a man who has turned his life around. I may be naïve because I've never met the Vincent you knew in high school but the man standing beside me…is the true Vincent Keller. Sure, guilt and grief consumed him for a while but I see a man with a whole life ahead of him. You probably have no idea how many people wish they could have the opportunities like Vincent has. I may have not known Vincent as long as you but I have a pretty good judge of character and can tell what a person's true colors are." I feel Vincent's arm slide around my back, pulling me to him.

"The Vincent Keller you know is a fraud, Kitty Cat." Alex spits. "He'll always be a fraud because the true Vinnie Keller is the man-whore from high school! Vincent knows, better than anyone, that once an addict, always an addict! Once he gets inside your pants, he will want more and more and more until you can't give him any more sex! Once that's over, he'll leave you and find the next harlot bitch."

Without another word, I slap her as hard as I could and am tempted to punch her too but I stop myself as I control my temper. "Why…. Why are you trying to pin his past against him? You know who the real Vincent is, Alex. You've known him far before his brothers' deaths. Do you get a thrill out of chastising him? Do you even remember who Vincent was before his brothers died?"

"No. She doesn't." Vincent intervenes. "Her parents were divorced Catherine. She only stayed in New York City during the summer and even then, we didn't spend much time together. Her mother died when she was a freshman so that's why she started going to high school in NYC. I don't blame her for thinking my whole life involved sex and alcohol considering she didn't really know me until we started dating."

"Newsflash!" Alex shouts. "You and I didn't start dating until AFTER your dark years! Sure, we were 'friends' before you and I ever dated but that wasn't my reason for dating you, Vincent! I wanted sex! I admit it, alright?! And I heard you were the king so that's why I agreed to go out with you! I heard all of the stories how you would make all of those girls feel so damn good a night at a time and I wanted that! And when you refused to have a sexual relationship, I thought I could stick around and try to seduce you but EVEN THAT didn't work! So I decided to pretend to keep my interest in you so no other girl would want to date you! If you weren't going to have sex with me, I wasn't going to allow you to have sex with any other woman ever again!"

Suddenly, Vincent starts laughing out a storm and I stand awkwardly as Alex covers her mouth faster than my dead grandmother could walk a single step.

"Vincent, are you okay?" I ask as I place my hand on his shoulder.

He nods his head and settles down a little but continues to chuckle between his speech. "So, you're telling me you accepted my marriage proposal, found out that I STILL wasn't interested in sex, went to France, hooked up with several losers, came back, pretended everything was back to normal even though you slept with other guys during the weekends, expected me to find out in hopes you could continue making my life eternally miserable and still be engaged to me? Oh and let's not forget that even AFTER I broke up with you, you still continued to pretend to be my fiancée/girlfriend to ward other suitors away from me." Instead of laughing, Vincent's face becomes more serious. "That's shallow of you, Alex."

"Maybe I was trying to make you jealous enough to actually want me." She fires back.

"Well if that's what you thought; you thought wrong. I would never think twice about staying engaged with a tramp like you."

"How can you say that after everything YOU'VE done in HIGH SCHOOL?!" Alex shouts above the loud music. "You have no right!"

"Maybe not but the one difference between the two of us is that you continue to sleep around!" Vincent throws his hands up in the air.

Finally, I say, "That's enough! Both of you!" Vincent and Alex look at me so I continue. "I came here to have a good time, not to hear the two of you argue over the past! Now listen! Alex, I don't know how you spend your nights or whom you spend them with but you shouldn't continue reminding Vincent of his past. We all know what has happened and the result of it but it isn't right to force Vincent to face his former life again. He's changed and doesn't need to be constantly reminded of who he was in high school. We all have monsters in our past we don't wish to be reminded of; I'm sure you do too! Hell, I'm sure everyone has monsters in the present too; monsters they hide under their bed because they don't want others to know about a secret life. Relationships aren't about sex, Alex. They're about trust and love and sacrifices! I don't want to judge you, Alex, since I barely know you, so I won't tell you what I think you should do with your personal love life but…when it comes to Vincent, it's time to let go of the past and move forward. He's clearly over you and I don't mean that in a nasty way. Alex, we all have our demons…some more apparent than others…but I'm sure you'll find someone in this world who is willing to love you and your snarky attitude with all benefits included."

Vincent starts to snicker but I turn around and face him. "And you!"

"Me?!"

"Yes, you, Vincent!" I exclaim. "I have to agree with Alex to a degree on some of the things she said. You and I both know your past is history and that you've evolved from your 'dark' years. That's wonderful, Vincent but just because you have risen out of the 'darkness,' it doesn't make it right for you to judge other people, including Alex, who either currently has or has had the same problem as you in high school! Now, like I said before, I don't know what Alex does or doesn't do on the weekends or weeknights but if your claim is true about her sleeping with other men, you don't have that right to rub it in her face. For all we know, she may be going through a rough time like you once did. And if not, it's her choice to live her life like she wants to. However, it's clear you two disagree on a LOT of things so here's a solution for both of you. Either you two forget the past and regain your friendship or stay out of each other's hair!"

I notice that both Vincent and Alex are processing at least part of my mini sermons so I add, "If you two need some time to talk things over, fine. I'll leave and get a drink of punch or something. Just stop with the drama before I find a toilet and hurl in disgust!"

"You don't have to go anywhere, Catherine." Vincent replies and sighs. "Look Alex, sorry for how I've treated you since you've returned from France a few years ago. I'm willing to shake on it and be friends if you're willing to as well."

She exhales a long breath, "Because of the way I've treated you for the past several years since you wouldn't heed my…erm…desires…I don't think it's fair to be friends…on any level. I know I've been a vindictive bitch lately and can be controlling at times but I…I don't think I could ever see you as just a friend, Vincent. You were right to say that I didn't truly know you before we started dating; only knew of your 'skills' from girlfriends' testimonies. I didn't mean what I said earlier…that you are addicted to sex.

"In all honesty, I wouldn't know." She laughs a little and continues. "I guess…I guess I thought I was looking more for a one-night stand rather than a relationship. I thought that since you wouldn't sleep with me on the first night, I would continue being your girlfriend until you would…we both know that didn't happen. I have to be honest, I only came to Hudson University because of selfish reasons; of course I do want to be a doctor someday but…I think it's safe to say that you bring the worst out of me, Vincent Keller. I have been dancing around the topic for a while but I think it's best for me to transfer to a different medical program…somewhere I wouldn't have guy trouble…A place I can start anew."

"Are you sure?" I ask and she nods.

"I'm sorry Catherine for being such a bitch. You know, I never used to act this way…I guess I just wanted attention since I never received any at home when I lived with my father. He was always away from work and I thought that if no one would pay me any attention at home, I would make myself known at school. So that's why I thought it would be a good idea to try and hook up with Vincent Keller."

"I'm going to…erm…get some punch." Vincent says and he leaves the awkward conversation as Alex continues to talk to me.

"Vincent was right, Catherine."

"About what?"

"You do have a particular shine about you that I didn't see before. You are able to transform a bad situation into something good…well, somewhat good. I can see why he fell in love with you."

"He doesn't love me…" I speak softly.

"No…He does, Catherine. He never once looked at me the way he looks at you." She smiles for the first time in front of my eyes. "I guess I was too blinded by selfish needs that I didn't see what's clearly in front of me."

"Sometimes it takes blindness in order for us to see something in a different light. Trust me, I know from experience." I reply as Vincent returns.

Before Alex could say anything more, we hear the DJ say something.

"Alright young fellas. We're going to slow down the beat a bit; so make sure to find your special lady-friend and show her just how slow you can go. The next song is an all-time favorite: "Before I Fall in Love" by Coco Lee. Now don't make me come and drag you do the dance floor myself."

"And that's our cue." Vincent says as he takes my hand. "Whatever you decide to do, Alex, find happiness in it." With that, he leads me to the very center of the dance floor. I place my hands on his shoulders and he gently places his hands on my waist. I see Gabe from my sociology class walking up to Alex before asking her to dance with him. Even if he isn't Prince Charming for Alex, at least she won't be dancing alone.

The music starts to play and the lights dim to a romantic mood-setting blue hue and we start swaying slowly back and forth.

"_My heart says we've got something real  
Can I trust the way I feel  
'Cause my heart's been fooled before  
Am I just seeing what to see  
Or is it true, could you really be"_

"_Something to have and hold  
With my heart and soul  
I need to know, before I fall in love  
Someone who'll stay around  
Through all my ups and downs  
Please tell me now, before I fall in love"_

"I like this song." I mutter close to his ear. "I can relate to it."

"Oh yeah?" he replies in a soft whisper.

"Yeah." I say as I press my head against his chest. I feel him placing his cheek on top of my head and I swear I could swoon from everything that's happening. Here I am, dancing to a romantic slow song with the man I have learned to love and everything, despite my disease, is going in the right direction.

"_I'm at the point of on return  
So afraid of getting burned  
But I want to take a change  
Please, give me a reason to believe  
Say, that you're the one, that you'll always be"_

"_Something to have and hold  
With my heart and soul  
I need to know, before I fall in love  
Someone who'll stay around  
Through all my ups and downs  
Please tell me now, before I fall in love"_

"_It's been so hard for me to give my heart away  
but I would give my everything,  
Just to hear you say"_

"_Something to have and hold  
With my heart and soul  
I need to know, before I fall in love  
Someone who'll stay around  
Through all my ups and downs  
Please tell me now, before I fall in love"_

As the ending chorus concludes the song, he leans in and kisses me gently before softly whispering, "I am so in love with you, Catherine Chandler." At those sudden words, I couldn't help but feel tears falling down my cheeks.

"What's wrong, Catherine?" he asks with sympathy in his voice.

I shake my head, not wanting to ruin the moment. "It doesn't matter." Another slow song, "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion from the movie "Titanic" starts playing so we continue dancing but we really don't pay any mind to the music itself.

"If it matters to you, it matters." He replies as he wipes my tears from my cheeks while I'm still clinging to him.

"I just…. As I listened to the song that was playing before, I realize how important you are to me…and…I don't want to lose you, Vincent. For as long as I live, I want to hold on to you as tight as I can but…I don't want to be unfair to you." I say as more silent tears slide down my face. He wipes them away again and returns his palms to my waist.

"How would you be unfair to me?" he whispers as he looks into my eyes.

I shake my head, "It's not important…"

"Catherine." he says sternly. "Anything that brings you tears is important."

"We'll never have what other couples have, Vincent." I mutter as I see the couples dancing closely around the room.

"Shhhhh." He whispers. "Don't think about the future Catherine. We'll take everything one step at a time."

"And go where?" I ask quietly. "There's no destination for me, Vincent. I have nowhere to climb; nothing to look forward to. How can we take everything step by step when my staircase is broken?"

"Take a leap of faith and hop over your broken steps." He smirks.

"If only it were that easy…" I mutter. We stop dancing momentarily and he cups my face.

"Catherine, you don't have to rely on just yourself to get through things. People care about you and want to help you. I want…to help you. Let me be your crutch, Catherine. I promise I will help you up each and every step in your life. Okay?"

I start sobbing uncontrollably so Vincent wraps his arm around my shoulder and whispers, "Let's finish this conversation elsewhere okay?" I nod and he leads us to the lobby desk. He pays for a room and we take the elevator to Room 705. When we arrive, he swipes the card-key and we walk inside. He places his tuxedo jacket on a chair and takes a seat on the bed. I, however, walk over to the window.

"You shouldn't love me, Vincent." I say as more tears fall. "It wouldn't be fair to you."

"Who said it wouldn't be fair to me?" he asks as he walks over to me and hugs me.

I pull out of his embrace and say, "You don't want someone defective, Vincent. One day, you're going to want to marry someone and we both know 'the one' isn't me."

"Catherine, where is this coming from?"

"As…as much…as strongly as I have fallen for you, Vincent, I can't…no…I shouldn't fall in love…with anybody." I could feel my chest starting to get heavy as I try to hide my sobs. "I…We…We won't ever be able to physically love each other, Vincent. Who knows how long I have left in this world and it isn't fair to you!"

"Catherine, I don't know where this is coming from but I assure you, I don't need to have sex to love you. As long as you're with me, I'm happy." He says as he takes another step towards me.

"That's just it, Vincent!" I spin around and pound on his chest. "I don't know how long I'll be able to be with you! You'll eventually want more out of this relationship…and I won't be able to give 'more' to you!"

"Catherine, when I'm with you, I see a better future for myself. You have changed my view on things in so many ways. I don't desire your body, Catherine. I fell in love with your heart and I want to be the one who continues to bring a smile to your face! You said it yourself, Catherine. You want to keep smiling in order to keep the people you love smiling."

"Vincent, you don't understand. I…I realized that you have to fight for the things you want since life is so precious. I want to fight for you, Vincent. I want to be able to make love to you and not fear life ahead of me. I want us to be like normal couples; couples who plan their lives together. But none of that is going to happen, is it?!"

He cups my face and says, "Didn't you once tell me that we should only care about the present because it's what shapes the future? What if I say to you that I want to share the rest of my life with you? What if I say to you that I want to make love to you right now in order to make you happy? I can't promise you what the future will bring, Catherine, but I promised you I want to help you fight this disease in any way I can. I love you and whatever you want is what I want. If you want to make love, say no more. If you want to plan a future, we can start planning tomorrow. I told you I'm not going anywhere and I mean it. You're trapped with me until you say otherwise."

"You promise?"

"I swear." He whispers and kisses me on the forehead.

"And…and if I want to see the world during the Christmas break?"

"Consider me your travel companion." He replies.

"If I want us to make love some day in the future while I still can walk?"

"Say the word and I'll give you a night to remember." He mutters and I can feel his hot breath against my lips.

"What about now?"

"Say no more." He replies before pulling me in for a passionate kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck as he slides his hand down my back and pulling down the dress's zipper in the process. Screw my disease. If I'm not happy now, how can I ever consider feeling happy in the future? If this is the only night Vincent and I can share together, I want it to be as it is now—us giving into our hidden desires for one another and fusing our love together under an expensive hotel quilt.

I may have run away from my problems in the past but not today. I won't give in to my disease just yet. I still have people out there who love me as much as Vincent does. I can't give up because I want them to be happy; I want to make Vincent happy in any way I can. He deserves that much. All I can do now is improve with what I have in my life rather than searching for things I've already lost. And I want to improve my relationship with Vincent in any way I can. I love him too much to lose him now. He's my everything and if I lose him too, I will have nothing.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_What I've Learned from My Friends  
1. If I remain timid, thinking I'm disabled, I'll never be able to change myself!  
2. Rather than seeking after what you've lost, improve what you've been left with.  
3. Don't think you're smart or you'll only feel miserable._

_~Aya Kitou (Diary ch. 3 The Start of Distress)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**KF: Well? Did you like this one? :)**

**I found it a little cheesy in some places but whatevs. Haha. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! :D**


	10. I Want to Keep Chasing My Dreams

**NOTE: **

**I created a video to complement this fanfiction; the song I used is the same song Vincent and Catherine danced to in the previous chapter. Link: YOUTUBE HOME PAGE + [/watch?v=B1w3lXSsvZA]**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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**Warning: **

**This chapter is rated M; read at your own risk**

**Semi-Suggestive/Metaphoric/Semi-Graphic Material in this Chapter**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

_**Chapter Nine: I Want to Keep Chasing My Dreams**_

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**Date: September 23, 2007**

While I wake up after a comfortable slumber, I realize I am not alone in the bed. I feel the arms of another wrapped firmly around my naked stomach. As soon as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I glance over and see a bare-chested Vincent sound asleep. Then, I lean over Vincent, lightly, to look at the clock and focus on the tiny, red digitalized numbers: 3:30 AM. I lie back down and nestle against Vincent's strong yet gentle chest as I snake my left arm around his waist.

About five or so minutes later, I hear him sigh a light breath and tighten his hold around me. "Good morning." He whispers softly, probably unsure if I'm awake or not.

I grin and slowly glide my hand up his torso to his face and bring his lips to mine. He rolls us over until he's perfectly on top of me and deepens the kiss. I lock my arms around his neck and twist my fingers in his hair as I succumb to his desire.

I know I may not be able to make love with Vincent in the future but why should my disease stop me from wanting things in the present? There's no turning back; our hearts are connected now and I hope they'll stay together for as long as I live.

When a candle lights another candle, a chemical change occurs; once Vincent lights my candle up with fire, I feel as if I'm a new person; maybe I am a new person…or rather, a new soul. A new soul inside a diseased body.

While he gently pours his love into my renewed soul, my hands memorize every particle of his body as I slowly slide my hands from his neck, pass his shoulders, along his torso and down to his bottom. He moves his lips from my mouth to the base of my neck and then makes a trail of kisses down to my naval before finding his way back to my lips. As my fingers claw at his back, our fiery, audible passion climbs to its peak.

When our fervid flame subsides, our candles separate and one thing remains: heat; lots and lots of heat. I pull my lips away from his mouth and whisper, "I wish this could last longer."

"It doesn't have to end." He mutters into my ear as his hands caress my skin. "Catherine," his raspy voice resonates against my cheek, "We can still have nights like this and wake up in each other's arms."

"Vincent," I sit up with my bare back towards him. "We can't be careless…"

"We won't be." He replies and places a hand on my shoulder. I shrug it off and slip out of the hotel bed. I walk to the window and pull back the curtains slightly so I can see the city sparkling early in the morning.

"I meant what I said before, Vincent. I have fallen deeply in love with you…and last night…early this morning…made me fall even more in love with you. You have showed me love in every single way and I have no words to describe both my gratitude and my appreciation to you for everything you've given me. But…with my disease, we can't afford to make love again." I say as if daggers are being pushed down my throat. "If we're careless…a child…a child may be brought into this world. No matter how much I would love to deliver a baby one day, I can't…"

"Catherine," Vincent walks up to me and wraps his arms around my midsection as he pulls me against him. "We can be careful; you know that. We can use contraceptives like birth control or condoms if you're that worried of having children but if you do become pregnant, you know I won't leave you."

"You don't understand," I start crying, "It isn't a matter of whether or not I'm worried of you leaving; I am physically incapable of carrying a child. My body will be too weak to bring one to full term. Not only that but I don't want to chance any future child receiving the same disease I have. I would be a horrible mother before the child is even born."

Vincent tightens his grip around me and says, "I understand, Catherine. Believe me, I do."

"No you don't, Vincent!" I turn around and begin slamming my fists against his chest as I feel a wave of déjà vu wash over me. This time however, I sink to my knees and start wailing into my palms. I don't know how long Vincent lets me cry but instead of interrupting my weeping, he rubs my back and silently comforts me. When I feel like there's no tears left to shed, I say in a shaky, dry voice, "How…how…how is…it possible to love and…miss someone who will…will…will never…never exist?"

Vincent wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. "It's possible, Catherine, because you have a loving heart. You think of others before yourself and you use your compassion as kindling to your fire. Because you care for the people around you, you find ways to stay strong in order to make them happy. Catherine, your selflessness allows you to love in big ways." He pauses for a moment like he's trying to gather his thoughts before he continues. "Remember that fight I had with Alex several weeks ago?"

I nod and mutter, "I remember."

"Alex asked me why I was attracted to you and if you remember, I told her that you shine in ways I can't explain. Well, Catherine. You shine because you see the world in a different light; you don't need to give birth to a child to bring life to the world. Your unselfishness is what drew me to you." He cups my face and wipes the tears from my cheeks. "When we first met, you fell and knocked over a ton of bikes on your way to class. I remember feeling aggravated because I felt like it was my duty to help you since you were injured. However, you weren't thinking about your injury. You kept trying to put those bikes back in order with or without my help. You could have hobbled to your period but you didn't. You were more concerned for the owners of those bikes than for yourself." He presses his forehead against mine and continues. "You have a natural altruistic soul inside of you and that, my love, is a rarity of its own."

He kisses my forehead and I say, "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" he asks as he pulls both of us to our feet. He then tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear before gently grabbing my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"For being such a nuisance…You're probably tired of me crying so much." I try to smile but another tear escapes my left eye.

"Never feel like you have to hold your tears back. If you want to cry; cry." He replies.

"But I don't want to cry anymore…I want to stay strong for everyone. I can't have myself walking around like a train wreck every time I worry about my future."

"Fine…penalty." Vincent says. "Every time you cry, you owe me a dollar."

I start laughing a little at his response yet the tears continue to fall.

"Looks like you owe me a dollar already." He jokes as his hands start massaging my backside. I lightly punch him in the temple as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"They're called tears of joy, stupid." I reply before I stand on my tippy-toes to press my lips against his. My legs envelop his waist and his grip on my bottom tightens. He pins me against the wall as we rekindle our fire and solidify the bond between our souls once more.

**Beauty and the Beast**

For the second time, I wake up and find myself locked in Vincent's arms. However, this time we aren't on the bed; we're on the floor and even though we were sleeping, our bodies are still joined. I slide my hands across his lower back to wake him up. He groans; I'm not sure if he's groaning from pleasure or because it's still morning. In either case, his incoherent sounds make me giggle.

"Good morning." I whisper and he finally opens his eyes with a wide smirk.

"I could get used to this." He mumbles as he pulls me closer to him.

"Don't get too cocky." I reply as he draws imaginary circles around my right nipple.

"You know, we can stay here all day if you want." Vincent grins. "I can call room service and tell them not to come here until after we leave."

"As much as I would love to stay in bed…or rather on the floor…all day with you, my parents will start to worry if I don't show up soon." I reply as I brush his hair with my fingers.

"When did you tell them you'd be back?"

"Well, I told them I would be staying at the dorm for the night since I didn't want to come in late and wake them up. I didn't exactly give them a time…I just said I'd be back sometime during the day…I didn't specify."

"This might sound devious, Catherine, but you could call them to tell them that you want some extra girl time with Tess. You could even mention that you won't be back until close to dinner time. That way, we have several more hours of laziness."

"I don't see that going over well if they see me coming back in my dress…" I reply but he hushes me with a quick kiss.

"You didn't let me finish." He smirks as states, "After we have our fun here, we can stop by our dorms so we can change into something more casual before meeting back at your place."

"Have I ever told you that you're a genius?" I ask as I arch against him and tighten the grip of my legs. I can feel him responding to my touch as his arousal starts to peak again.

"Since now? Nope. Never." He replies as he latches his legs around my waist and adds more kindling to my flame. I kiss him fervidly and our bodies melt together as if time did not exist. Vincent makes me forget about my disease so easily but is that a good thing? If I forget, who will remember?

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Vincent…I need…to call home…" I murmur against his lips as we continue to turn the day into an eternity of love. I glance at the clock from the corner of my eye as he trails kisses down my neck. "It's…already…11 AM…. I need…to check…my phone…"

He makes a sound of recognition but he doesn't stop kissing the nape of my neck. When his lips meet back with mine, our tongues meet and I find an opportunity to grab his attention. Regretfully, I bite his tongue and he jerks away, complaining, "What was that for?"

"Sorry, Vincent. I needed to get your attention and biting your tongue was the only way I could think of to stop your horny hormones." I say as I slip away from him. "I'll be right back…I just need to check my phone and make a phone call."

I walk to the table and open up my little purse. It's a good thing I turned off my phone before the dance last night or it would have been dead by now. As I turn it on, I say, "Call room service and tell them to stay away…I'm surprised they haven't come up yet."

"We're on the seventh floor, Catherine. They wouldn't clean our room right away." Vincent replies before picking up the hotel phone. My phone beeps, notifying me that it's on so I unlock it and mentally curse. I have three missed calls from my mother and two from Tess. I should probably call Tess first to tell her of the plan. I press the Talk button after selecting her number and wait for her to wake up.

"_Hello?"_

"Oh good. You answered." I reply. "Listen, I need you to cover for me in case my parents contact you."

"_How would they know how to get ahold of me?" _ Tess asks.

"Believe me, my dad has connections so he will find a way. If they contact you, tell them I stayed at the dorm last night and that I'm currently out on a date with Vincent."

"_Ahhh…I see…Should I tell them you went out of town?" _

"Yeah, that would be great. If they call me, I'll tell them we are at Inwood Hill Park until dinner."

"_Sounds good…just one condition." _

"What?" Uh oh. I know that tone of voice.

"_You better tell me every single juicy detail of your night with Vincent. Don't try and deny it, Cat. I saw you two sneak off to who knows where so as soon as we see each other next, you better prepare to describe your experience as if you're writing it as a novel." _

"How did I see this coming?" I reply. "Fine. But you asked for it."

"_Hell yeah I did!" _I can totally see her smirking right now.

"Alright well I gotta go and call my mom before she has my father start a search party for me." I say before ending the call. Then, I dial my mom's cell phone number.

"_Catherine?" _

"Yeah, it's me." I say. "Sorry I didn't answer your calls. My phone was off to save battery power."

"_Where are you? Where did you go last night?" _she asks so I give her my prepared answer.

"I went back to the dorms to sleep because it was closer to the ballroom than home. The dance didn't end until late so that's why I didn't want to go home right away. My phone was dying because I forgot my charger at home; that's why I had it off. As for where I am right now? I'm on a date with Vincent. We went to Inwood Hill Park to spend the day there. We'll be returning close to dinner time."

"_Then why does the satellite system tell me your phone is at the hotel where your dance was?" _Damn. I knew she'd be too smart for her own good.

"Well, you know, sometimes when you're in a roaming area, the satellite picks up the phone's signal of where it was last. I was lucky to be able to call you without problems." I say with sweat dropping down my forehead. "Phone's going to die, Mom. I need to shut it off again."

"_Okay…stay safe, Catherine." _ Mom replies and I end the call after saying, "I will. Love you, bye."

I sigh in relief. "That was close…" I walk over to Vincent who is lying on the disheveled bed and crawl on top of him. "At least my parents are off our backs…for now."

"I'm sure your mom has her suspicions." Vincent smirks and I laugh.

"What parent doesn't?" I ask as I twist my fingers in his hair. I am about to lean down to kiss him but my stomach growls.

"Looks like someone's hungry." Vincent chaffs. "I'll put on some pants and grab us some food from the lobby."

"How about you call room service?"

"And risk a young waiter seeing my lovely girlfriend naked? I don't think so. Just hang tight, okay?" Vincent slips from underneath me and searches for his black pants.

"You're forgetting your boxers." I say as I pick them up and hold them in the air.

"Nah. Don't need it. I'll also put on my undershirt. While I'm down there, I'll buy both of us a pair of clothes and a bag to put our dance clothing into too."

"Okay…hurry back, alright." I say as he slips on his white undershirt. "Don't keep me or my stomach waiting."

"I won't. Scout's honor." He salutes and disappears out the door. I decide to slip on his boxers to keep me company until he returns. It may be weird but it makes me feel like we're connected. For some reason, wearing his boxers makes me feel safe when he's gone. Strange thought: I hope I get to wear his boxers every day in the future as a reminder of our soul-bonded love.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Time: 11:45 AM**

After eating brunch, we decide to take a little break to allow the food to settle before starting up any strenuous activity again. We talk for several minutes about our families as well as our interests. Once we feel like our food has settled, Vincent pulls back the sheet covering the lower half of my body and smirks.

"Have to say, Catherine, my boxers look very kinky on you."

"You think so?"

He slides his hand underneath the elastic band and mutters, "Definitely." He leans down to kiss me as my back arches in response to his fingers caressing me. I never knew someone could make me feel completely and utterly beautiful in the span of 24 hours. Every touch, kiss, lick Vincent and I have shared in the last several hours of my life gives me something to hold on to. I don't want this fantasy to end; I'll miss it too much when it goes away.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Time: 4:00 PM**

"We need…to…get…going." I mumble between our kisses.

"We can't leave naked." He smirks as he pulls his lips from mine and adds, "Besides, I can tell you still want more."

"What I want and what is necessary are two different things, Vincent." I reply as I slide out from underneath him and start heading for the hotel's bathroom. "Before we leave, I need to take a shower."

Vincent stands up and follows. "Mind if we kill two birds with one stone?"

"I was hoping you would ask." I smile as I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

While we wait for the water to warm up, we stare at the mirror. I never thought I would stand stark naked in front of anyone until I was happily married…However, plans change when you find out your life is limited. Every second counts. Right?

He snakes his arms around me and I feel his hand sneaking down to my core. Of course I don't stop him; I don't want him to stop. We work our way to the shower and slowly clean up as our hands gently rub every inch of the other's body. When we finally do finish showering, we dry off and walk back into the bedroom. I slip my panties on as he slips his boxers up. I pick up my bra, walk over to him and ask him to help me clasp the material onto my chest. He of course doesn't refuse; he clasps it together and kisses my shoulder.

I plant a kiss on his lips briefly before I grab a pair of clothes from the bag Vincent brought up when he brought out brunch. We both pack our dance clothes into the bag he bought and head downstairs to the lobby. "The cleaners are definitely going to have quite the payday." Vincent smirks as we start walking down the street towards the subway entrance.

"Oh you." I laugh.

"What? It's true!" he widens his grin. "Not only on the bed and in the bathroom but also the floor, the wall, the window and the ta—"

"Got it, Vincent. No need to walk down memory lane just yet." I say as we enter the subway.

"It was worth the try." He replies as we lean in for a kiss.

We take the subway back to campus, sneak into our separate dorms and drop off our things. I then find an outfit to change into that would make my parents less suspicious of what actually happened last night. When I meet back up with Vincent, he has changed into something more casual as well.

He drives me back to my parents and we act like nothing has changed. Good news: My parents don't suspect a thing. Bad News: I'll be spending Sunday night without him in my arms. To keep up a good standing with my family, Vincent bids farewell after dinner and starts to leave but I grab his hand and say, "I'll take you to the door."

He nods and we take a step outside before he closes the door. "I hate that I'm leaving, Catherine, but I don't want to impose on your family."

I nod in confirmation and say, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Of course. Bright and early." He replies and gives me a small kiss on the lips before disappearing into the night.

"I love you, Vincent Keller." I whisper as I watch him leave for the campus. "I love you too much."

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: November 12, 2007**

Since my diagnosis, I've been spending more time at home than on campus. I still live on campus but at least twice a week, I go home to share as much time with my family as I can. My family still does not know I sleep with Vincent at his apartment in Queens every Friday night; they simply think I choose to come home Saturday mornings instead. For the sake of our roommates, we decided it was best to not sleep together in either of our dorms; if we wanted a romantic get-a-way, we would sneak over to his apartment instead.

Unfortunately, I am showing more signs that my disease is progressing. I fall a lot more and my legs always feel stiff. I still have been able to walk pretty normally with a few stumbles here and there but I have to rest more. It's painful to walk simply from my dorm room to my first classroom. I don't tell Tess this but I have been waking up earlier to get a head start in case I need to rest my legs before making it to class. Vincent, bless his heart, has been helping me constantly. He'll walk with his arm around the small of my back to keep me from stumbling; he'll also carry my book bag as well. Luckily, people just think he's being a good boyfriend to me rather than helping me out.

"Caaaat! I can't figure out how to work the coffee maker!" Heather shouts from the kitchen.

"Coming!" I reply as I slip out of my bed. As I take one step towards the door, my foot misses its landing and I fall. I hear Heather rush to my room and she tries to help me but I shoo her away. "I've got this."

"Cat, you've been falling more lately as you wake up out of bed. You're worrying me." She says sympathetically.

"I'm fine. I can handle a little fall." I reply as I support myself back to my feet by grabbing onto my bedpost. I take another step but the same thing happens.

"Cat!" Heather shrieks and tries to help me again.

"No! I can do this!" I snap while I stand back onto my feet and try again. _THUD!_

"That's it, I'm calling 911!" Heather states as she pulls out her cell.

"Don't you dare press a single button on that damn phone, Heather!" I command. "I don't need a doctor!"

"Cat, you can barely make it out of your bed! What happens when you try walking down the stairs?! I do not want the same thing to happen to you that happened at the mall! That was horrifying and I thought you were dead!" she starts crying. "Let me help you!"

I try to walk again but no matter how many steps I try to take, the result is the same.

"That's it! I'm calling Mom!" Heather states.

"No!" I shout. "Heather Marie Chandler! You put your phone back in your pocket right now! And just go to school!"

"But…"

"JUST GO!" I scream as tears start to fall.

"Cat, just let me help!"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! GET OUT!" I pick up a pillow and throw it at her.

She starts to turn around and walk out but something stops her. I look up and she balls up her fists as she spins back around. "You know what, Cat?! I'm not going! I'm not a little girl anymore; I can make my own decisions! I don't need you to boss me around like we're still little children." She kneels down and kisses my forehead. "Cat, you're my older sister and I love you dearly but you can't continue thinking you can go on without accepting any help. We're human beings and I get that you want to do things yourself but it's not so bad receiving help when you need it."

"You say that now, Heather, but it will come to a point when I won't be able to function on my own. You, Mom, Dad and even Vincent will grow tired of helping me all of the time." I say but she smiles sadly.

"Cat, you should know by now that we aren't perfect individuals. Sure, there may be a day in my life when I might grow tired of helping you but that doesn't mean I won't stop. It's the same with Mom and Dad. We love you very much and will do what we have to in order to help you. People at school, mainly teachers, always seem to contrast me to you; grant it, I grew tired of it at times but you know what? Despite our obvious differences, I'm proud to say you're my older sister!"

Ever since my diagnosis, I've had doubts…a lot of them and today is the first time I'm sharing my worries with my sister. "How are you proud of me, Heather? I am sick; diseased! How can you say you're proud of me when I'm so pathetic?! I can't even walk a single freaking step without falling!"

She cups my face and kisses my forehead. "You may think I'm completely oblivious to everything you do but every time you need me to take you to physical therapy, I see just how strong you are! Sure, you're having more and more difficulties walking but that doesn't stop you from quitting. You've complained about your legs hurting but you still continue to move forward and take control of your life. Not even that, but you don't allow your disease to destroy your relationship with Vincent. I see the way you two look at each other and I know you spend Friday nights with him." She laughs.

I stare at her in disbelief and she giggles again. "Did you seriously think you could hide your sexual relationship with Vincent from me? Honey, ever since that dance of yours, you've been glowing. Not to mention the fact that you're currently wearing a pair of boxers that doesn't belong to you…well, at least they didn't at first. You may be able to hide it from Mom and Dad but not from me."

"I…I know it's selfish to be…to be sleeping with him but…"

"Don't get the wrong idea, Cat. I'm not mad about you having sex. In fact, I think it's great that you are making most of your life while you can. He loves you, Cat and I know you love him. You deserve to be with him, Cat. I don't think your sexual relationship with Vincent is selfish at all. You share a beautiful thing with him and it's okay to want to hold onto it for as long as possible." Heather replies as she gives me a light hug. "Now, I know you're a trooper and a tough cookie so let's figure out a way to get you back on your feet to walk again."

"There's no point." I say.

"My ass!" Heather snaps. "Cat, I did not just preach you a sermon to receive a failure remark like that! Remember, there's no shame in not being able to walk properly; there's only shame in giving up and not trying your best."

She helps me up to my feet and adds, "I may not be a medical expert but I do know a thing or two about teaching little kids to walk from babysitting. So…you can't seem to be able to walk full steps without falling."

"Thank you for the observation, Captain Obvious." I roll my eyes and we laugh.

Finally she snaps her fingers. "I got it!"

"What?"

"You've said your legs feel stiff when you walk, right?" Heather asks and I nod.

"Then how about you stop walking properly altogether?"

I give her a look of horror but she shakes her head. "That came out wrong. Instead of trying to walk normally, try walking like a penguin…you know…waddle instead of walk."

I nod and try waddling instead of walking. I take one step. Two steps. Three steps. Four steps. Five steps. And finally, I make it to the threshold of my door. "I did it!"

"Now what would you have done without me?"

"Probably stare at the wall and wait for my knight in shining armor to arrive." I reply. "Speaking of which, where is he?"

"I'm right here." I hear Vincent say as he walks into the house. "Sorry I'm a little late. JT borrowed my car last night and forgot to give me my keys back. I had to literally pry it out of his fingers as he slept. Do you need time to get ready? We can get breakfast on the way to school."

I smile and Heather says, "Don't worry about the coffee. I'll just stop by McDonalds and buy an espresso or something. See you later?"

"Always." I smile and she disappears.

"Did something happen while I was running late?" Vincent asks as he walks up to me and gives me a kiss.

"Nothing we couldn't handle." I smile. "By the way, before class starts, I need to tell Dr. Andrews of my disease…I'm starting to show more symptoms."

He nods and says, "I think that might be a good idea."

I slowly walk to my closet and pull out a pair of clothes as Vincent wraps his arms around me from behind. "You know…we don't have to go to school today…we can just skip and lounge around in your bedroom for the day."

"And make up 3 classes worth of assignments? Bad idea. Though," I say, "After our last class, we could go back to your apartment and…"

"Looking forward to it already." He smirks before I give him a quick kiss.

"Now if we're going to make it to class on time, I need to get dressed." I say. "You can either wait in the living room until I'm done or you can just lay on my bed and wait here."

He hops onto my bed and puts his hands behind his head. "I think I'll take your second offer."

"I thought you would." I roll my eyes and turn around. I can feel his eyes watching me as I strip out of my PJs and slip into my day clothes. "All done."

"Darn…I was hoping it would last a little longer." He teases before pulling me in for a kiss. A long kiss. We finally leave for school as I think about what I should say to my professors. They're definitely going to be in for a shocker. That's for sure.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"So, you're saying you can barely walk?" Dr. Andrews asks and I nod.

"I have been diagnosed with an incurable disease known as Spinocerebellar Ataxia. As of now, the disease has only affected my walking. My main reason for telling you this, Dr. Andrews, is because there may be some days where I might be late for class. And…I might not be able to stand and sing in the fall concert since I cannot stand for long periods of time without losing my balance."

"Catherine, you have been a great student this past couple of months and I feel greatly sorry for your situation but I cannot exempt you from the fall concert without giving you an F in the course." He sighs.

"Is there any way I can sit and still perform in the concert?" I ask as I try to come up with a solution.

"We'll see what we can do." He replies. At least it isn't a no. "I hope you realize that we will be starting class without you if you're late. You'll just have to pick up where we are and you may have to take some time outside of class to learn the music."

"I understand. Don't slow down or hold the class on my account. I will try my best to arrive on time." I say and he nods.

"Very well. Thank you for notifying me of your condition."

"I have one last request." I say and he urges me to continue. "Please don't tell the class what I have. I'm not ready for the class to know of my disease yet."

"Understood." He nods. I stand up very carefully and waddle out of his office. One professor down, five more to go. Vincent is leaning against the wall when I enter the choir room; some students stare at me in silence but I try to ignore them. Vincent helps me to my seat on the top row and sits next to me as we wait for class to start. I already can tell it's going to be a long day.

My next two professors of the day took the information with sympathy. They felt bad for me but knew there wasn't much they could do. I also told them not to stall class for me because I didn't want to be an inconvenience. Luckily all of my classes for Monday, Wednesday and Friday are on the first floors of their buildings so I don't have to worry about stairs.

Vincent and I lounge around on my bed during our break and snuggle in silence. For the past hour, I have been quietly crying against his shirt because I hate being a burden on everyone. I feel like my world is crumbling and the disease has barely even started to affect my body.

Tess comes in to work on some homework and once Vincent leaves for his own dorm, Tess says, "I was beginning to wonder if I would ever see you again."

"Sorry…a lot is going on." I reply.

"Sorry my ass, Cat! Look, over the past several months we've gone from being roommates to becoming best friends yet I feel like you're hiding something from me! You are always at home on the weekends and you spend every waking moment with Vincent when you can! You may be having sex with him but that doesn't mean you can cut off our friendship and pretend he's the only good thing in your life!"

"I'm sorry…" I say.

She throws up her hands in frustration. "See?! You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?"

"Apologizing! Why do you keep apologizing for stupid things?! You think an apology is going to make things better? I don't give a friggin care about your damn apologies, Cat! I want answers! I want to know why you always avoid telling me what's going on in your life!"

"Tess…I can't talk about it."

"You can't or you won't?" she asks as she slams down her pen. "Cat, you used to be so open to me. What's changed?"

"It's complicated." I lie.

"To hell with that!" she snaps. "I went to housing today to drop something off and the student worker told me you sent a notification saying you would be commuting from home starting in the spring. Why didn't you discuss this with me?!"

"It's my choice! Since when do I meddle with your choices, Tess?! I don't butt into your life so don't butt into mine!" I state.

"Whatever! I'm out!" she exclaims as she starts for the door. However, something stopped her. "Look, Cat, I don't mean to be the Queen Bitch of the Day but you're starting to worry me. The only reason I want to know what's going on is so I can better understand where you're coming from. You're literally the sister I never had and I want to be there for you if or when you need me." She places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it.

"You're right…" I say. "I have been tuning you out…I've been tuning almost everyone out…everyone except Vincent. I thought…I thought it would best if I sever as many connections I can before things get rough…before…" I start to cry as I try to finish my thought. "I get worse."

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"I'm sick…" I say. "It's called…Spino…Spinocerebellar Ataxia…One day I won't…won't be able to walk…won't be able to talk…or write. I will be bedridden someday and there's nothing I can do to stop the progress of my disease."

"What are you saying, Cat? You're dying?"

"Slowly…" I mutter. "The progress is slow but certain. Vincent, my family, my professors and now you are the only ones who know…and I would like to keep it that way."

"H-how long have you known?"

"Since September 14th."

"You mean to say you've known about your diagnosis for months and you didn't think to tell me?!"

"It's not your place to know!" I reply. "I didn't even tell my parents! They found out when I was in the hospital after a terrible accident! Vincent was the only one who knew since Day One."

"You trusted him but you didn't trust me, you're best friend." She sounds hurt. "I see how it is. Let me guess, you were planning to go on without telling me for as long as you can, right?"

I stay silent and look away from her.

"I can't believe you don't trust me!" Tess exclaims.

"I do, Tess! I do trust you!" I cry out. "It's not a matter of trust!"

"To hell with that! Admit it, you didn't tell me because you couldn't trust me to keep your secret!"

"That's not it at all!" I shout. "I d—" I try to explain but she cuts me off.

"Save it for someone who cares." She replies and vanishes.

"Tess wait!" I exclaim as I leap off my bed. I stumble to the floor but don't try and get up. I'm pathetic and just lost one of the closest relationships I will ever have during my pitiful life. Sometimes I wonder if death is a happier place than this hell I'm living.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I slowly make my way to my bed and pull out my diary. Out of anger, I pull the cap off the pen and start writing horrible things about myself.

**Dear Diary, November 12, 2007, **

**I HATE MYSELF! **

**I AM POWERLESS! WEAK! STUPID! **

**I'm not surprised people are starting to hate me. I hate myself too.**

**Sincerely,**

**Catherine**

I shove my diary back into my drawer as I hear a knock on the door. I make my way towards the door and open it.

"Are you alright? You weren't answering my calls or texts." Vincent asks as he walks in to the dorm room. He notices my tear stains and adds, "What happened?"

"Tess and I had a fight…we…I told her about my disease." I reply as I wrap my arms around him. "She's mad at me, Vincent! She thinks I didn't trust her to handle my secret."

"Did you tell her otherwise?"

"I tried but she cut me off and bolted before I could have a chance to set things straight." I answer and he kisses the top of my head.

"She'll come around. Just give her some time to process everything, alright?"

I nod and he says, "Let's ditch this joint and get some ice cream." He wipes my tear-stained face and adds, "Is that alright?"

I nod and he grabs my coat, slips it around me and we walk to the shop. It may have taken an hour to get there but Vincent never once tries to hurry me; he walks at my pace and stops when I need to stop. I don't know if there's anyone else on the planet who could understand me like him. Will our relationship always be like this even after I'm bedridden?

When we get there, I take a seat at a provided picnic table and Vincent orders our cones. As he waits for the cones to be made, I pull out my wallet and take out a five dollar bill. In a few minutes, he comes back and hands me my ice cream cone.

"Thanks." I smile and I had him the bill.

"Catherine, I don't want your money." Vincent replies. "I'm happy to pay for anything you need."

I shake my head. "It's not for the ice cream, Vincent. It's my penalty payment. I've cried twice today."

"But why are you giving me a five?" he asks as he holds up the bill.

"I'm planning ahead." I reply with a smirk.

"Now there's the Catherine I know and love." He grins as he dabs my lips with his ice cream.

"I think you missed my nose." I say but he shakes his head.

"Nope…I didn't." he sneers. He extends his left hand outward as he holds his ice cream cone and pulls my chin towards his with his right. "I wanted an excuse to do this." He whispers and presses his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, forgetting I still have my ice cream in my right hand. The cold substance drops off of the cone and lands on Vincent's shirt, causing him to jump a little.

"I am so sorry." I say in shock as I try to clean off the ice cream but I make it worse. Instead of cursing, he simply pulls off his shirt, crumbles it up and says, "No harm done. However, we're going to have to make a pit stop at my apartment to get it cleaned."

I nod and we leave the parlor to go to his apartment. Every once and a while, he would let me steal a lick from his ice cream and when we arrive at his place, he smirks.

"What?" I ask.

"Just thinking I need a little bit of payback." He smirks.

"Like what?"

"Close your eyes." He requests and I suspiciously do so. To my surprise, I feel him stretch the rim of my elastic shorts along with his old pair of boxers. The next thing I know, I feel a very cold, melting substance slide down my belly and towards my core. "Looks like we both will have to get some clothes cleaned."

He picks me up and takes me to his bed before pulling off my shirt and unclasping my bra. As his lips find my left breast, his hand slips underneath the edges of my pants and underpants to 'play around with the ice cream'. "Screw laundry…" Vincent mutters as he slips off the remaining of my clothes.

"How are you going to clean up your ice cream mess?" I ask suggestively as he unbuckles his jeans and slides down his boxers.

He leans forward and gently blows a cool breath of air into my center before saying, "Same why I wiped the ice cream off of your lips." he smirks and his mouth finds its new destination, making me feel even more beautiful than before.

**Beauty and the Beast**

We lose track of time and spend almost three hours in Vincent's bed; his touch makes me forget about the pain in my legs. When his hands melt against my skin, I feel like I am always reborn into a new body. Every touch matters because I never know if this will be the last time we can make love. I couldn't tell Tess this but the main reason I want to always be with Vincent is because I want to offer him as much as I can while I still can. Is that selfish to want to love someone in as many ways a possible even though there are risks?

"Hey…" I hear him whisper as he starts to draw imaginary circles on my stomach.

"Hey." I smile.

Vincent pulls me into an embrace as one of his hands rubs my bottom. "I wish we can stay like this for a little bit longer."

"You have somewhere to be?" I ask and he nods.

"I promised JT some guy time tonight. Sarah works Monday nights and so we made a deal to hang out." He replies. "I can always call him and request a rain check."

"No," I say. "I don't want you to miss out on your bromance with JT. He's a good friend to you and I'd feel like a jerk for stealing you from him. I should be getting back to my dorm too to try and sort things out with Tess.

Vincent nods and I kiss him before we slide off of the bed and head for his bathroom to take a bath since I can't stand long enough to take showers anymore. He makes every moment of my life worthwhile and I am grateful he came into my life. Maybe God sent him to be my angel during all of this. The question is, will he use his wings to fly away when times get harder down the road?

**Beauty and the Beast**

Vincent drops me off at my dorm and bids me farewell before he leaves to spend time with JT. As much as I wanted to speak with Tess, she isn't in the dorm. I bet she decided to stay with Joe until things simmer down. I hope she doesn't wait too long though. I need her support too.

I take out my diary and add to my last entry.

**P.S.**

**I may hate myself when I'm alone but when I'm with Vincent, I feel beautiful and fall in love with myself all over again. He revives my soul and that's why I move forward. With him by my side, I hope to continue chasing my dreams. Even though the road is going to be tough and I'm going to continue to face more and more trials, I still want to make a difference in this world. When it comes to a point where I have to put my health first, I'm not going to be afraid of the world. I will still do everything I am able to do even if I can't stand on my own feet. With the help of Vincent, my family and eventually my peers, I can continue to chase my dreams because they are not my crutches anymore; they are my feet. **

**I think…finally…I have come to terms with my disease and have accepted my fate. **

**I may have regrets but instead of dwelling on what I haven't done, I'm going to focus all of my strength and energy on improving my future. I may have a disease as a setback but why stop here? I'm still alive; I should be grateful for that. **

I close my diary and turn off my light as I settle into the bed. I hear a knock on the door so I turn my light back on and open the door. "Vincent? Is something wrong?"

"No…" he whispers as he walks inside and closes the door. "I finally told JT…about you…"

"You did?"

"Yeah…he said he saw you at the hospital last Saturday during your therapy session. He was dropping off something to his uncle, another doctor at New York General. He asked me about it so I thought it was best to come clean."

"And what happened?" I ask.

"At first he was in shock but then he came around and told me how sorry he was. You know a typical response to a bomb dropper. He then said, 'What the hell are you still doing here then? Get your ass back to Cat's ASAP! Tess is AWOL with Joe so she's all alone right now! If you don't leave this second, I'll toss you over there myself!' or something like that."

"He said that?"

"Yeah…He has his own way of showing he cares, Catherine." Vincent says.

"So you came here because JT told you to?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Uhhh…kinda but I also came here because I really missed you. Not to mention the fact that I didn't want you to sleep alone tonight…or any night for that matter. Until Tess decides to dismount from her high horse, you're stuck with me every night."

"You say it as if I'm being punished." I laugh a little as I pull him to my bed. He lies behind me and unbuttons my PJ top before sliding his arms around my bare stomach. Not long afterwards, we both fall soundly asleep as if our problems do not exist and it's the best slumber I've had since homecoming.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_It's becoming really difficult now to move my legs forward. Holding desperately on to the handrail along the side of the corridor, I told myself "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid!" Tears came to my eyes as I thought, sadly, "I may perhaps . . . "_

_~Aya Kitou (Chapter 3 - The Start of Distress III)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**Well that was quite the chapter! A bit steamy I daresay. Please let me know if you think the romance is too much or if it is moving too fast. I want to know what you guys think!**


	11. Like I was on that Warm Summer Day

**So Sorry for the long wait! DX **

**I was struggling with how I would like to take this chapter but after the 8****th**** or so time of RESTARTING it, I think this is where I want it to go. ^_^ Hope you enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Ten: Like I was on that Warm Summer Day**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Date: November 17, 2007**

**~Vincent's POV~**

While Catherine is at her physical therapy session, I have decided it was high time to give Tess a little chat. I know I shouldn't get involved but I hate seeing Catherine cry…she's too young to be crying this much. So, after dropping her off at her house so her parents could take charge of her, I tell Catherine I have errands to run. She kisses me goodbye and I drive around the block to make her think I'm heading towards the city rather than towards the school. When I arrive back at Hudson University, I park and hop out of my car to find Tess.

Finding her shouldn't be too hard; I've always had a gift of finding people…I don't know how or why but I can just sense them…I guess you could call it 6th sense or whatever but it's not something I tend to brag about. I spot her sitting under a tree on the front lawn so I approach her.

"Tess!" I call out. She looks at me, closes her book, stands up and starts to walk away. "Wait up!" I catch up to her and she turns around to face me.

"Look, if it's about Cat, I don't want to hear it. I'm still pretty pissed at her."

"Just give me five minutes! Okay?!" I plead and she sighs.

"Fine. You've got five minutes Keller! No more than that!" she places her book underneath her armpit and taps her foot. "I'm waiting…"

"Right…so, as you probably have guessed, Catherine told me about your fight the other day."

"What so you decide to be her personal pigeon?"

"No…Catherine doesn't know I'm here…she's at the hospital right now." I say and I could have sworn I saw her eyes widen for a second.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah…She's having her weekly physical therapy session. Anyways, I didn't come here to convince you to forgive her, Tess. I came here to tell you what she couldn't."

"What do you mean?" Tess asks me. "You can read her mind?"

"No. It's just…I've known about Catherine's disease since her diagnosis and I have seen her attitude change as the disease progresses."

"I don't get how this affects the argument we had last Monday." Tess states so I nod.

"I understand your confusion but you didn't let me finish. You see, for the past few months, Catherine has been struggling to find her identity in all of this. As her disease worsens, more questions about her life are asked and some are left unanswered. I don't think there has been a day where she hasn't cried since she's been diagnosed. I think the reason Catherine avoided answering a lot of your questions the other day is because she didn't know how to answer them. It took me WEEKS before she started opening up to me even AFTER we started dating.

"Something horrible happened the beginning of last summer and I don't think it ends there. As I peel back a layer of her heart, more layers seem to be uncovered and more questions…my own questions…arise. However, despite my personal curiosities of what may have happened in my girlfriend's life, that's not really why I'm here. You see, as I was saying, she has a hard time socializing about her personal life. And when another bombshell lands in her lap, she closes up all over again. The day she was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease, her entire life changed. She no longer had the future she was going to have; she no longer could salvage the dreams she's always dreamt. Everything changed for the worse and all she could do was watch it all die right in front of her.

"Don't you get it Tess? She didn't…no…couldn't tell you because she was still trying to figure out everything herself. Every day, there would be a new question: Will I still be able to continue my education? Will I be able to have children some day? Will I die tomorrow? And each question always either started or ended with tears. Catherine STILL is trying to accept her disease; she knows it's there but I can tell, through the sad look in her eyes, that she hopes everything is a dream. That she will wake up one day and everything will be back to normal.

"Seeing her…hearing her cry every day breaks my heart and there's nothing I can do about it except to talk her through it and pray my answers are good enough. That's why I'm here. If I can't help cure her, I want to help her build her friendship back with you. She needs you Tess, whether you believe me or not. She needs your moral support."

"You don't think I've noticed?" Tess exclaims in tears. "I may have been AWOL at nighttime but that doesn't mean I haven't noticed the effects of her disease. I knew she wouldn't lie to me; she isn't that kind of person. However, I would watch her walking get worse by the day and have been waiting for her to tell me what was going on but she never did! I understand what you're trying to say but she didn't trust me and that hurts more than you would possibly know!"

"IT ISN'T ABOUT TRUST!" I yell. "Tess, believe me, Cat trusts you completely!"

"Then if it wasn't trust, what was it? Fear?"

"Denial." I reply. "You know…shortly after her parents found out about her disease, she told me she didn't want anyone else to know. She wanted to continue life as if nothing has happened. When I asked her why she didn't want people to know, she said: "If I tell other people about my disease, I'll feel like it's real…that it is actually happening. Home…You…are a part of my little fantasy and if the outside world finds out, reality will finally start crashing down." I never forgot that statement because it broke my heart, Tess. She couldn't tell you about her disease because she couldn't admit it to herself yet. Only just recently, she finally started to realize that this disease is a part of her life."

Suddenly a few college girls walk by and start laughing. "Hey, Tess!"

"Yeah…what do you want?"

"You're that freak's roommate aren't you?"

Tess stays silent.

"You know, the freak who walks like a penguin?" another girl chimes in and mocks Catherine's walking.

Tess still stays silent and I say, "Why aren't you defending her?!"

She doesn't answer.

"Are you actually ashamed of Catherine?!"

She still keeps her mouth shut. I walk over to the girls and say, "The FREAK you're talking about is my girlfriend! If I find out you three are making fun of her again, I'll feed you to the wolves!"

"As if!" one of them challenges me so I push one of them against the other two.

"Get out of my sight." I state and they run with their tails between their legs. I walk back over to Tess and shout, "I don't care what beef you have over Catherine! You should STILL care enough to defend her when she can't defend herself!"

"TRY GOING TO YOUR FIRST DAMN CLASS AND HAVE PEOPLE START MAKING FUN OF YOU BECAUSE YOUR ROOMMATE WALKS SLOWER THAN A SLUG!" she shouts as a response.

"YOU THINK I'M NOT CRITICIZED FOR DATING CATHERINE?! IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE RUMORS OF US LATELY, LET ME TUNE YOU IN! PEOPLE THINK CATHERINE HAS AN STD AND HAS TRANSFERRED IT TO ME! OTHERS MAKE UP STORIES ON HOW WE HAVE SEX BECAUSE SHE CAN'T MOVE HER LEGS PROPERLY! OH! MY FAVORITE: CATHERINE IS ONLY FAKING THIS DISEASE IN ORDER TO GET INSIDE MY PANTS. THERE ARE SOME TRASHY RUMORS OUT THERE ABOUT CATHERINE AND I BUT WE CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM! WE KNOW WHAT'S TRUE AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO US!" I can see that I'm going a little overboard so I lower my voice, "Look, I don't care if someone makes rumors about me because I'll just give them a glare. However, people who talk about Catherine behind her back shouldn't have an excuse to live! That girl got off easy."

I pull out a scarf from my bag and say, "Catherine really cares about you, Tess. Around the same time of your fight, she started having troubles with her hands. She can't use mechanical pencils anymore; she has to use pens or else the lead will break. She heard you were going to Canada for your Christmas holiday so she spent all night Thursday making this scarf for you. For people like Catherine, knitting this scarf is a great effort. Because she wasn't sure if you two were on good terms, she asked me to give it to you." I hand Tess the scarf and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself for being ashamed of my amazing girlfriend. I hope you sleep on that tonight and think about what I've said. I have to go now; Catherine will be expecting me soon."

With that, I leave as I leave Tess to her own thoughts. Part of me feels bad for yelling at her like that but the message needed to get across one way or another. I just hope she listened.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**~Catherine's POV~**

As soon as I finish my physical therapy session for the day, Dr. Marks comes up to me and says, "If all possible, Catherine, I would like you and your mother to come to my office to discuss some important things."

"O-okay." I reply. "What kinds of important things?"

"Matters that will impact your future."

"Isn't my future impacted enough?" I ask and he nods.

"Indeed. That's why I want to talk with you and your mother. There are things we need to talk about that would help you in the long run. I will see you in my office in a few minutes?"

"Yes…We'll be there." I say before I waddle off to find my mother. When I arrive in the waiting room, I see her reading her favorite book. "Mom."

She looks up and smiles. "Yes?"

"We need to talk with Dr. Marks. Okay?"

"Alright." She replies and stands up. "Maybe he has some good news to share."

"Maybe…" I say even though I know it's not true. It's better to let Mom dream a little. I don't like seeing her sad.

We slowly make our way to Dr. Marks's office and take our seats before he starts talking. "Catherine. Mrs. Chandler. The reason I've called you two in here today is to discuss Catherine's disability level. All three of us know her disease is progressing and her walking has diminished quite a bit." He pulls out a form and continues, "This form needs to be filled out by Catherine to obtain a disability card. In the future, the card will help Catherine obtain subsidies when she needs a wheelchair and if you need to renovate your home for her sake. However, disability cards are not limited to subsidies. Bus and Taxi fares will be cheaper if you present your card."

"Dr. Marks, I understand your professionalism and advice but my daughter is still capable of walking on her own two feet. Shouldn't we wait until she can barely walk?" Mom asks but I speak in the doctor's stead.

"I understand your feelings, Mrs. Chandler. However, as a fellow colleague, you understand there are seven levels of disability for walking. Right now, Catherine is at a six and she will continue to worsen."

"Will this card help me not receive demerits when arriving late to class?" I ask and Dr. Marks nods.

"Yes…by showing this card to your professors, they have a responsibility, by law, to accommodate to your needs as much as they can. Here is my suggestion; you do everything on your part, Catherine, to get to your classes on time. If that means you'll need to start leaving earlier than your usual time of departure, do so. Also, ask your professors to move your seating arrangement closest to the door; that way, if you are late, you aren't disrupting the class by trying to find your seat."

I nod and ask, "What about living on campus? I've already filed for a commuting request for next semester but do you recommend against it? Would I be better off living ON campus rather than off?"

"That basically depends on your home environment, Catherine. If either one of your parents is willing to take you to and fro school every day as well as take time off of work to help you when needed, then yes. I suggest you live at home. If, however, your parents both work which I know for a fact they do, it's better to live on campus because you'll be closer to your classes. Does your dormitory have an elevator?"

"Yes." I reply.

"What about the buildings where your classes are?" he asks and I nod.

"This semester, all of my classes are in buildings with elevators. Next semester, however, one of my afternoon classes is in the oldest building on campus—which has no elevator."

"Hmmmm…. That may pose a problem especially if your teachers aren't able to switch to a classroom on the first floor."

"Can't I walk the stairs?" I ask but he shakes his head.

"No…First of all, we have no idea how much your disease will have progressed by your second semester of classes. By the rate of your progress currently, I believe you'll be using a wheelchair starting in January. It's just an estimate but we must think ahead with these kinds of diseases." He looks at my mother and adds, "If Catherine's class cannot swap with another class for a different room; I suggest you hire someone who can escort Catherine to her classes to ensure she arrives safely to her class."

"If we have to consider that as an option, we will, Dr. Marks. As of right now, I know what's best for my daughter, as does her father. I think it's too soon to place a label on her."

"_Hello, Mom. I'm sitting right here_!" I speak to her in Chinese for some privacy. "_I hate to say this, Mom, but you and Dad have been too busy with work to notice what's going on in my life. Sure, you can tell I have walking issues right now and you may think you know what's best for me but this is MY life! I am 19 years old…almost 20! I am legally responsible for my own life and what I think is best for me may or may not be what you think._

"_Card or no card, Mom, I am losing my ability to walk. Do not forget, I am a member of our family too! I make my own decisions just as you let Heather make hers. The things I am able to do are limited, and my functionality will continue to diminish as time progresses! However, there are things I still want to be a part of…This disability card will allow me to participate in class despite my disease; it will allow me to feel a part of society. Will I be laughed at? Stared at? Mocked? Absolutely but that's not going to make me stop from being as normal as I can possibly be!"_

If Vincent could see Mom's face right now…it would be priceless._ "Catherine…"_

"_Mom,"_ I touch her shoulder, _"There are things I still want to do in my life and I believe this card…no matter how ominous it sounds or looks…will help me achieve my goals."_

She sighs in defeat. "Very well." She replies in English. "Who fills out the paperwork for the disability card?"

"Both of you. Catherine signs it since she is the participant. You sign it because you've already notified me and told me you are paying for her medical expenses and that includes the wheelchair and possible renovations."

Mom nods and looks over the form before I do. As we fill it out, Dr. Marks adds, "By the way, during the Christmas holiday, I advise you to start moving her bedroom to the lower level of your home. It'll be easier for her and more accessible."

"I will talk it over with my husband." Mom replies and hands the form back to Dr. Marks. "Anything else?"

"Yes…but I would like to speak to Catherine alone on a separate matter."

"Fine." Mom replies, exhausted. She leaves me in Dr. Marks's office and probably heads back to the waiting room.

"What is it?" I ask, concerned it's something serious.

"Catherine, how long have you been sexually active?"

"Excuse me?"

"Trust me, this is an important question." Dr. Marks replies so I answer in a squeaky voice.

"Since mid-September…why?"

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

I think for a moment and panic. "Ummm….I can't remember…six weeks? Maybe five? You don't think I'm pregnant do you?!"

"I won't know for sure until I run a few tests. Catherine, even if you aren't pregnant, you do understand the seriousness of this situation, right?"

I nod. "I know…This disease…shouldn't be passed down to another generation." I say with a broken heart. "E-even t-though I w-want children…I s-shouldn't…"

"Catherine…it isn't a matter of whether you should or shouldn't have any offspring. Unfortunately, your body cannot sustain a full-termed pregnancy. Not only would you not be able to carry full-term but you with your tiny stature and condition, delivering a child will be next to impossible. You're legs…in due time, will be paralyzed in simpler terms and that means you'll barely have the strength to deliver naturally. Even if a C-Section is performed, both lives will be at jeopardy. I don't want to scare you, Catherine, but you need to be aware that in most cases, women who have your disease and conceive a child will miscarry; the child will not be able to receive the amount of nutrients it needs to survive in the womb."

"B-but my condition…isn't it still early enough?"

"We can't say what your condition will be in nine months. It's risky and irresponsible. However, I cannot force you to make any decisions so whatever you decide is your choice. I'm just telling you the risks. If you are not pregnant, be diligent in your sexual activity. Now, I need you to take this form to the nurse at the reception desk at the end of the hall and she will have you produce a urine sample. I'm sure it isn't a foreign practice to you. Once you're done with providing your sample, you may leave. I will call your cell phone tomorrow and tell you the results of the analysis."

I nod and take the piece of paper before leaving Dr. Marks's office. There's no way I can be pregnant…NO WAY! Vincent and I have been careful! But what if…what if I am? Will I keep the baby and risk both of our lives? Will I terminate the pregnancy?

Hundreds of questions filled my head but none could be answered.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I've decided not to tell Vincent just yet. If I'm not pregnant, there's nothing to worry about; if I am, well, I'll dive into that conversation later. We stop by the supermarket on our way home and I stay in the car. As Mom is doing her shopping, I hear my phone ring. I pull it out of my pocket and, to my surprise; Tess is on the other line.

"Hello?"

"_Hey…"_ Tess says.

"Tess…"

"_Listen…I was a jerk to you the other day. I should have been more accepting of your disease rather than lashing out like that. Look, Cat, I'm sorry for accusing you for not trusting me. I should have known better. I did some thinking and after putting myself in your shoes, I've realized that you were in the right; I was in the wrong. I shouldn't have expected you to tell me something completely personal right off the bat. Can you forgive me?"_

I sit in silence for a moment to process every word she said.

"_Cat?" _

"Huh?! Oh! Right! Of course, Tess! I'll forgive you!"

"_Really?"_

"Yeah." I smile. "Really."

"_That's good cuz I'm kinda tired of sleeping over at Joe's Crap Shack. I swear boys do NOT know how to clean!" _she laughs and I join her.

"Au contraire!" I reply. "Sometimes I think Vincent has OCD since his dorm and apartment are both spic and span."

"_That's different, Cat."_ Tess continues to laugh. _"Your boyfriend is going to be a doctor! Cleanliness is programmed into his brain!" _

"That's true." I smile. "I…I miss this…"

"…_.Me too." _

"See you back at the dorm Monday?"

"_Yup! Oh! If any douche bag tries to make fun of you, don't hesitate to tell me. I'll put them in their place!"_ We both laugh into our phones for a good few minutes until a thought crosses my mind.

"What changed?" I ask.

"_I guess you could say I had a divine intervention."_ She replies. _"Love to stay and chat but family dinner tonight so I have to start prettying myself up!" _

"Of course. I'll see you around?"

"_Yep! Oh and don't worry. You're secret is safe with me. I won't even tell Joe. Okay?"_

"Thanks." I smile. "Thank you so much."

"_No prob! TTYL, Cat. TTYL."_ She ends the call and I place my phone back into my phone. I can't believe I'm saying this but Vincent was right; Tess did eventually come around. When my mom comes back to the car, she asks, "Why're you smiling so much?"

"Nothing…It's nothing." I reply and she just shrugs her shoulders before driving us home.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**November 18, 2007**

Vincent needed to stay at the campus for the rest of the weekend to work on some things for school so here I am, lounging about and waiting for Dr. Marks's call. It's a Sunday afternoon and Mom and Heather are out shopping while Dad is working on something at the firm. Yep. It's been such a slow day.

The second my phone rings, I dig it out of my pocket and say energetically, "Hello!?"

"_Why do you sound like you're about to attack somebody?"_ I hear my sister ask on the other line. I was too excited to answer the call that I didn't even bother looking at the caller ID.

"Oh…nothing…anyways, what's up?"

"_Just wondering if you want Mom to get you anything while we're out." _

"Oh…ummmmm…" I hear my phone beep and see that Dr. Marks is trying to call me from a different line. "Gotta go sis! Call you back!" I quickly end the call and answer Dr. Marks's call.

"Hello?"

"_Catherine. Dr. Marks…. Depending on how you want to take this, I have good or bad news for you." _

"What is it?"

"_The test results are negative…as of now, you are not pregnant." _

"Really?!" I say somewhat enthusiastically even though I am a little bummed.

"_Yes. Really. However, I must advise you to make better decisions in the future so we don't come across this issue again."_ Dr. Marks replies and I nod my head in response.

"I understand." I say and end the call. I guess I won't have to talk to Vincent after all! I call back my sister and apologize. "Sorry…What were you asking again?!"

"_First of all, why did you go all ninja and disappear on me?"_

"I didn't go all ninja!"

"_Uhhh yeah you did!" _

"I would have to be WITH you to disappear on you! It's a trickery of the eye! Not of the phone!" I reply as I roll my eyes. "Anyways….oh! Right! Just have mom buy me another diary…I'm running out of pages on my current one."

"_Okay…anything else?"_

"Nope…that should do it." I reply and hang up on her (again).

I make my way up the stairs (very slowly) and pull out my diary and my pen.

_***Dear Diary, 11/18/2007,**_

_**I write in numerals for dates now because it means less writing. I love writing but it hurts. My fingers are stiff and I can't use pencils anymore. No matter my pain, I'm happy. Two great things happened this weekend! One: Tess called! She wants to be friends again! If I could, I would jump to the ceiling from excitement right now. Two: Dr. Marks has confirmed I am NOT pregnant! Vincent and I, for however many more days we have left of making love, need to be more careful! **_

_**I'm getting a disability card. Yep. Me. I finally decided it was best to do what I can to accommodate for this disease. If that means sticking a label on my forehead and telling the world I'm dying, so be it. I need those subsidies amongst other things. **_

_**Anyways, I have a feeling that starting next semester (which I'm living on campus by the way, I will be in a wheel chair. Yippee. Not. I know what I said in the doctor's office to Mom today but still, I want to walk as much as I can. Yeah…that's what I want right now. I never realized, until now, just how hard walking can be. I used to not have to think about it. Now, I do. Walking really is something, isn't it?**_

_**Catherine**_

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**Beauty and the Beast**

_Why do people stand and walk on two legs? This is usually taken as a matter of course. The question came to me as I watched my friends walking briskly into the distance. Walking is really something . . ._

_(Aya Kitou~Ch. 3: The Start of Distress III)_

_**Beauty and the Beast**_

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**Keiko Fujiwara: yes, I know, long time no update. **

**I'm sorry if it felt rushed. I really didn't know how to put this next chapter together and this is the best I could come up with. I think it was important to cover the pregnancy issue…also, Tess. That probably was a weak apology and she could have done better but I'm wiped out! -_-;**

**Now, Cat's journal is in Italics b/c her handwriting is sloppy and FF won't let me use different font. Meh. **

**Anyways, this one wasn't as much as a tear jerker than the other chapters so think of it as a break. More to come. Next chapter will cover many things amongst the start of the next semester. **

**Tata! **


	12. If I Could've Seen What Tomorrow Brings

**Alright…**

**By lack of reviews (Thank you to those who did review the last chapter), I get the idea that the last chapter wasn't ideal… Don't worry; I thought it was crap too. ^_^. I HOPE this next chapter comes out better. Let's all agree that each story has it's up and down chapters. Chapter 10 obviously was a LOW. Chapter 11's goal is to be a HIGH! **

**Happy Reading!**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

_**Chapter Eleven: If I Could've Seen What Tomorrow Brings**_

**Date: December 24, 2007**

A lot has happened since Tess and I regained our friendship a few weeks ago. I finally remembered to tell Tess that I am actually staying ON campus next semester rather than off of it. I'll still have to continue to go home every weekend for my appointments and such but it's a relief to know I won't have to waste as much as Vincent's gas.

On a side note, Heather got her license so now she's driving my old car to and from school instead of taking the subway. I don't envy her; she's using something I can't anymore. I have a feeling I'll be giving much of my stuff to either Heather (if she plans on using it) or to the Salvation Army. What's the use of owning things that can't be used?

The first semester of school is over but I so far am not enjoying my winter break. Instead of enjoying the holidays like most college students my age, Dr. Marks thought it would be a GREAT idea if I admit myself to the hospital and work on my physical therapy every day. Yep. That's been the majority of my break so far. However, I do get days off if my family needs me or something. Fridays are my favorite days of the break—I don't have to do ANY physical therapy since my body needs at least one day of relaxation so my muscles aren't overused.

During my rehabilitation at the hospital, my parents moved all of my things (including my bed) into the living room on the first level. Obviously, the new living room is in my room. I guess it's a good thing no one really ever uses that room anyways.

Since Tess and I practically are going into the same major (even if I won't be able to continue with the program), she rearranged her schedule to match mine. Luckily all of my classes were ones she hasn't taken yet. She wants to make up for her reaction a few weeks ago so she promised me she was going to escort me to and from ALL of my classes. I don't think anyone could be THAT dedicated; she's going to erupt after a while. She is convinced, however, that she can do it and still be able to get us to class on time. I, however, doubt her certainties. We'll see how long this'll last.

Okay…so maybe not A LOT happened since the break started but I have a feeling MORE is to come. Since Vincent promised JT several months ago that he would spend the holiday with the Forbes family, my boyfriend has been spending a lot of his time with JT & Company. I don't mind however. Do I miss him? Of course but I was the one who pushed him into going in the first place. He wanted to spend the holiday with me but he mentioned he also had plans with JT's family. So what do I do? I send him on his way to JT's because a promise must be kept. However, Vincent didn't go without conditions of his own. He told me he wouldn't step a single foot out the door until I agree to let him visit every once and a while. Obviously, I agreed and he has been over twice in the last three weeks. I guess the Forbes family is very busy during the holidays.

JT called me a few days ago and told me that instead of having Vincent all to himself for most of the holiday, we should share him. I couldn't help but laugh at his…way of words. JT made it seem like Vincent is this trophy we both won at a Spelling Bee contest. However, I agreed with him and we decided that Vincent will spend Christmas with his family and then starting the 26th, he's all mine for the rest of the break. At first, I couldn't steal my boyfriend away from his bromantic partner for nearly six weeks but JT insisted; saying something like: _When the 26__th__ comes, take him; he's yours. I've spent a lifetime with that lucky bastard so I won't be missing him as much as you are right now._

After everything that has happened, JT has been very supportive. He's a good friend and easy to talk to. I'm not saying I talk to him like Vincent does but, every once in a while, Vincent and I would have an argument and JT is the one who patches things up. He really has helped me over the weeks put Vincent's life in perspective. I wish I had someone like JT but I don't…Sure, Tess is my best friend now…but I didn't have a lot of close knit friends growing up. I tend to keep to myself (as if it isn't already obvious) and Tess really is the first best friend I've ever head. I couldn't ask for a better roommate.

Anyways, if it weren't for my laptop sitting in front of me, I would be a very bored patient right now. Because of the condition of my legs, Dr. Marks has asked me not to walk around unless it is absolutely necessary. Boring, right? I have been sitting in the same hospital bed since my last bathroom visit and am completely bored. Most doctors have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off so I'm stuck here. Alone. In a creepy hospital room. Mom, Dad and Heather are out shopping right now so I don't want to bother them. I would text Tess right now but she's spending the holidays with her family down south. They're in a very limited cell serviced area so she can only use her cell phone when she's in town. Otherwise, texting Tess would be pointless.

By the way, another NEW thing happened. My parents bought me a new phone. Using my hands have started to get harder. I can still write but my handwriting is getting sloppier by the week. My fingers are starting to feel stiff and there are times I think sawing my fingers off would be less of a hassle than trying to work with them. Until recently, I've never really realized how much I actually use my hands. It used to be effortless; thoughtless. Now, like my feet, I have to think about moving my fingers and hands. It's such a nuisance. Anyways, my new phone has this speech to text option that I've started using so I don't have to text as much. I don't think they realize that this phone won't help me later in life when I start having speech problems too.

I think I'll just keep that tidbit to myself for now.

"Knock, knock!" I hear my sister exclaim as she opens my hospital room door. She walks in and sits on the bed next to mine. "I thought I'd pop by and see if you want my company."

"If you wouldn't mind….it's kinda boring in here." I say and she laughs.

"Duh, Cat. It's a hospital; not a salon. However, I thought we could put that TV to good use and watch some Christmas movies." Heather beams as she flashes three different DVDs from her purse.

"That would be far better than staring at the wall when I'm not on my computer." I reply sarcastically. "What movies did you bring?"

"I brought three different ones because I wasn't sure what you'd be interested in. The movies are: _The Santa Clause_, _Polar Express_, _The Muppet Christmas Carol_. I personally don't care which one we watch; I love them all."

"Hmmmmm…Tough pick." I say. "I'd have to say..."

Before I make my decision, another voice fills the room as its owner peers through the door. "_The Muppet Christmas Carol_."

I couldn't help a smile form on my lips as he walks towards me. "You're here."

"I would be a horrible boyfriend if I left my girl spending Christmas Eve alone in a dreary hospital." He smirks before leaning down to kiss me. "I missed you." He whispers into my ear.

As I giggle from his response, he slips underneath the covers and wraps his arms around me. While we kiss once more, I hear my sister say, "Hell-lo!? Remember the movie?! I didn't drive all the way here to watch my sister's boyfriend snuggle and kiss her to death!"

Vincent and I laugh at her response before I ask, "Vincent, why did you choice _The Muppet Christmas Carol_?"

"Michael Caine is boss in that movie." He replies. "Best Scrooge I've ever seen. Besides, the music in this movie is freaking hilarious! _The Muppet Christmas Carol_ is my go-to movie on Christmas Eve."

"Really? I don't think I've seen _The Muppet Christmas Carol _since grade school. I'm not even sure if I remember what happens."

"Cat," My sister chimes in, "It's a CHRISTMAS CAROL! The movie is practically the same story as the other fifty-gazillion renditions. The storyline isn't hard to remember."

I stick my tongue at her as Vincent says, "All the more reason why we should watch it. I need to beef up your Muppetology."

"Oh geez." Heather rolls her eyes and puts the DVD into the VCR as Vincent and I rub our noses together.

For the next hour and fifteen minutes, Vincent, Heather and I watch _The Muppet Christmas Carol_ on the hospital's TV (the one NON-OUTDATED item in this room). The most entertaining part of the movie is when Vincent sings along with all of the songs; it's almost like he's a kid again. Some of his musical additions are very silly and purposely out of tune while others, like Belle's song, are soft and sweet. I love his singing voice. It's so raspy and seductive—one of Vincent's many attractive assets.

Once the movie finishes, Heather bids farewell and says she will be returning with Mom and Dad later in the day. I'm glad Vincent is here now. If he didn't show up, I think I might have keeled over from shear boredom.

"I thought you were spending Christmas with JT." I say as I draw imaginary circles with my index finger on his red-cotton shirt.

"I did already…JT's parents are going to Florida for the remaining holiday for some cruise thing or another so JT sent me packing. We celebrated Christmas a few days early and I finally found the time to come here." He answers before kissing my forehead.

"What did you end up getting?" I ask.

"Well…from his parents? I received a nice lab coat for my future career. JT gave me two gifts…one was a gag gift and the other was a book I've always wanted to read: Complications by Atul Gawande; it's a medical book."

"What was your gag gift?"

"Ehhhh…a cheap DVD…A Walk to Remember."

I start laughing and say, "That's a chick flick! Why on Earth would JT give you that movie?! Does he WANT you to gouge your eyes out?"

"Catherine…Have you ever seen that movie?" he asks and my laughs go silent.

"Oh…that's why…" I reply solemnly. "He gave it to you because the storyline is very close to our…situation."

"Please know that I did not think the gift was funny…I thought it was a jerkish move…bu— "

"Vincent, it's alright." I smile sadly. "JT was just trying to lighten up the situation a bit. Don't be hard on him for his gift. In fact, when you talk to him next, tell him thank you for me."

"Why?" he asks, confused.

"Because, Vincent…remembering that movie makes me realize just how lucky I am to have a loving boyfriend like Landon Carter. You and the character are very similar, you know? You're both willing to do anything you can for the woman you love." I say strongly. "And…and I'm grateful for everything you've done, Vincent. Please know nothing you do goes unnoticed. Your mere presence alone is enough to brighten my day."

He nods and I swear I can see tears forming in his eyes. "You're truly amazing Catherine. You easily turn something bad into something good within a blink of an eye."

"I'm not THAT amazing." I disclaim his statement. "If I were, I wouldn't be in this bed, would I?"

"Catherine, do you know how much courage it takes people to not only accept a disease but to also fight it by staying in a hospital? Many women your age would not put up with living in a hospital for several weeks during their Christmas break."

"Vincent…most women my age aren't sick…I am."

"And that's what makes you so amazing. Even though you're sick with an incurable disease, you haven't let its affects tear you down. I know you, love. You're a stubborn woman and when you want to walk; you will yourself to walk even if it means bed rest for 24 hours afterwards. You make walking worth it while others take their walking abilities for granted. This disease may be causing harm to your body but I know it has opened up a whole new world of perspective for you. If not for this disease, would you have counted your blessings every day and savor the precious moments you share with your loved ones?"

"Maybe…Maybe not. Honestly…I wouldn't know WHAT I would do differently if I weren't sick, Vincent. I've been diagnosed for several months and I'm beginning to forget what freedom is like."

"Catherine, you still have your freedom; as long as you have a strong, healthy mind, you have your freedom." Vincent whispers as he laces his fingers with mine. "Remember that."

I nod and give him a light kiss. "I love you." I say softly. "I love you so much, Vincent."

"I love you too, Catherine. I love you too." He replies and soon, we fall asleep in each other's arms.

**Beauty and the Beast**

When my hospital room door opens, Vincent and I wake up to the sounds of three pairs of feet piling in. We pull a part slightly and sit up in the hospital bed. He keeps his arms around me and I lean in to him.

"Well, I'd say they look comfortable." Heather gleams as she takes a seat next to my bed. "How was your nap? Refreshing?"

I nod in reply but don't voice an answer. I'm too tired to say anything right now.

"How's my kitten?" Dad asks as he places his hand on my shoulder.

I smile lightly and say in a tired voice, "I'm good…just tired."

"We won't stay too long, Cat." Mom whispers. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Not since…this morning…I kinda fell asleep before lunch time."

"Well, I brought some stew from home if you're interested. I think there's a microwave in the waiting room down the hall." Mom says and I smile.

"Stew sounds nice. Is there a chance you have enough for Vincent too?"

"Of course." Mom states and leaves to warm up the container of stew. Dad keeps a close eye on Vincent while Heather texts someone with her phone. I could tell Vincent knows that my father is watching his every move so he's careful with where he's putting his hands. Within minutes, Mom comes back with the container and has two spoons in it. "Sorry, I couldn't find any extra bowls. I'm sure you two wouldn't mind sharing a bowl, would you?"

We shake our heads and she hands me the bowl. I carefully carry it towards Vincent and me before we start taking a few bites of it. "Mmmmmm…Mom, this is super yummy!"

"Thank you, Sweetie." She says. "Your father has a work party tonight so that's why we're here early. We'll be back tomorrow morning to celebrate Christmas with you, honey."

"Okay." I say and Mom, Dad and Heather leave Vincent and me to eating our stew. When we finish, Vincent slips out of the bed and places the bowl on the counter in front of my bed.

We talk for several more hours until the clock strikes a quarter to midnight.

He slides out from the bed and walks to the other side of me. He leans over and slips his hands under me before pulling me into his arms.

"You're not staying in this bed for the rest of the night, my love." He says and I smile.

"Vincent, I love that you're thinking of me and everything but I don't think you're allowed to take a patient out of his or her room."

"Don't worry, Catherine, I talked to Dr. Marks earlier today. I asked him if it was okay for one night and he granted me permission; he said something along the lines of: It's important to make sure Catherine's mental stamina is up to par. We don't want her boring herself to death."

"Wow…he said that? And here I thought he was ALL WORK and NO PLAY!"

Vincent laughs and says, "Just be grateful you have Fridays off."

"Days off do not count, Vincent." I say and he carries me close to his body. He places me in a wheelchair and wheels me out of my room and towards the elevator.

"Wait right here." Vincent says before punching the elevator door button. "I forgot something in your room."

"Okay." I answer as he disappears back inside my hospital room. He comes out with a heavy coat on and has mine hanging on his arm. He also has my scarf, gloves and winter hat bundled in his other arm. "We can't go anywhere until you're properly dressed. What would your doctor say if you catch pneumonia?"

"You always come and save the day, don't you?" I smile and he smiles back as he helps me wiggle into my winter accessories.

As soon as we're all set, he pushes my wheelchair into the elevator after pressing it to open and then presses the ROOF button. We travel up the vertical corridor in silence as we wait for the elevator to DING.

The moment the elevator opens, I feel a chilly draft blow against us as he pushes me onto the roof's ground. "Vincent, why are we up here?" I ask as my teeth chatter. He picks me up into his arms and carries me towards the edge of the building.

"It's a part of my Christmas present." He whispers.

"Somehow I don't find freezing together as a romantic gesture, Vincent." I tease. He laughs and holds me closer.

"Sorry, love. I didn't anticipate how cold it would be tonight. We won't be out here for too long…I promise." He replies. "I wanted you to see the city draped in snow from a different angle other than your home."

Suddenly, I hear a loud chime echo throughout the city from the clock tower and hear many people cheering. I then look over to my left and see the Christmas tree over at Rockefeller Center glowing beautifully. "V-V-Vincent, I've s-s-s-s-seen NYC m-my ent-t-t-tire life a-and…I h-have t-t-t-t-t-t-to s-say this…I've n-n-never s-s-s-s-s-s-seen the c-c-c-city more b-b-beaut-t-t-t-tiful than it is ton-n-night. Th-th-thank you." I shiver.

"M-m-merrrrrrrry Christ-t-t-t-m-m-mas, l-l-l-love.

"M-m-mer-r-r-ry Chrrrrrissstmmmmaaaassss." I smile and see his teeth chattering too so he says, "M-m-maybe w-w-w-we sh-should g-g-go back-k-k in n-n-now."

I nod and he places me back in my wheelchair and takes me back down to my room. The first thing he does when we get back there is strip his clothes down to his boxers. He also helps me remove my clothes before turning on the shower. Side-note: My parents wanted the best hospital care at New York General so…that's why my room has top-notch things (even if a lot of it looks outdated). Not all rooms, to my knowledge, have showers. I guess I should be thankful Mom and Dad went through the trouble in getting me this room.

After removing his own boxers, he walks over to me, slips mine down my legs and pulls them off of my feet, carries me into the shower and places me down on the built-in chair. I'm glad to have Vincent with me because, in the past, nurses would wash me from head to toe since I have difficulties using my hands. Talk about embarrassment!

Unlike the nurse's touch, Vincent is gentle and careful and since he's using his bare hands instead of the scrubbing brush, my skin doesn't feel scratched with every stroke.

The moment we finish showering (amongst warming ourselves up in the process), Vincent dries both of us off and helps me dress for the night. He slips on his boxers and a T-shirt before helping me to my bed and then joining me shortly afterwards.

"Sweet dreams, Catherine." he smiles and I grin back.

"Good night Vincent. Merry Christmas, my love." I say into his ear.

"Merry Christmas." He replies in a tired voice before we kiss each other goodnight. I don't think I would ever have a better way to spend Christmas Eve than with the man I love. If only this precious moment could last longer than the sun's slumber. If only.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: January 18, 2008**

Christmas and New Year's passed faster than a blink of an eye and now school is going to start this Monday. A lot of changes will be happening during this semester. First of all, Tess and my room has been changed…We're now staying in a different building…the same building JT and Vincent stay in! Their dorm is on the second floor and ours is on the first floor. Best part? Their dorm is directly above ours.

Tess and I had to move our things last week (of course JT and Vincent helped) into our new dorm room. There's even more good news! Instead of a community shower room, Tess and I have our own bathroom inside our new dorm.

I came home from the hospital yesterday and like my new room (well, kinda new). It's arranged quite nicely and Dad even installed side rails on my bed so I won't roll off and hurt myself when I'm at home. Ever since Christmas Eve, Vincent has been with me like a moth to a flame. Heck, even my parents gave up on kicking him out. It's almost as if he's really a part of the Chandler family. Almost.

Another major change? Dr. Marks won't allow me to walk at campus anymore. He says it's far too risky; the only class I will have to walk to will be my history class since it's in a building without an elevator. If anything, I'm a little worried of what people (especially peers) would say when they see me in a wheelchair. I know I'll get a lot of glances and whisperings behind my back but that's to be expected when you're sick, right?

Last week, I had an accident which pretty much gave Dr. Marks the incentive to make me use a wheelchair outside of the hospital. I was walking to the city bus stop so I could get home before the rain came but I couldn't make it there on time. I waddled as fast as I could but tripped over my own feet and ended up busting my knee open. Not a single person stopped to see if I was alright. That's what you get for being sick. I had to call Vincent since my parents were at work to come and take me to the hospital. I didn't want an ambulance to come; the attention would be unbearable. When he came, he didn't scold me like I thought he would. Instead, he hugged me; I guess he could see how humiliated I already was and didn't want to add fuel to the fire. That's one of the reasons I love him so much; he'll make a great doctor someday. He's able to look into the minds of people and tell what they are feeling without so many words. He has a true gift.

Unfortunately, Dr. Marks's prediction came true. I can barely move my legs and my hands are continuing to worsen. My handwriting is incredibly slow; thank goodness Tess has offered to let me copy her notes for class. Otherwise, I'd be a goner.

"This place looks so different during the winter, doesn't it?" Vincent asks me as he pushes me along the sidewalk of Inwood Hill Park.

"Yeah…it does. Snow has a beautiful purpose." I say.

"Hmmm?"

I laugh and reply, "When I was little, my teacher gave my third grade class an assignment. She wanted us to write a story…or an explanation…to what we think the purpose of the snow is."

"And what did you say?"

"Well…I wrote a short story about faeries…winter faeries...it's silly, really."

Vincent parks me next to a bench before picking me up in his arms so he can hold me while he's sitting on the freezing seat. I lean my head on his shoulder with my lips barely grazing the base of his neck.

"Tell me please?" he pleads with glimmering eyes and I give in; no one can resist his puppy dog eyes. Least of all, me.

"Basically what happened: In my story, Winter Faeries were responsible for preserving plant life before the change of the season. However, goblins started destroying everything they touch; their disease would spread until everything was dead. So…there was only one thing the faeries could do in hopes to bring upon spring the following year."

"What?"

"They created snow…a material cold enough to kill off the disease but it would come with the price. All living plant life, or what's left of it, would die with the disease as well. That's why, in my story, snow was created—to kill the disease as well as to hide death from the living; it's something beautiful which masks something bad. Then, when it's warm enough, the snow melts and the Spring Faeries restart the cycle of plant life. So…every year, under our very noses, there's a war waging between the faeries and the goblins and that's why we see snow on the ground."

"Wow…for a third grader, you were very creative, Catherine." Vincent whispers into my ear. "I never would have thought up a story like that."

"Vincent…I….I have a request…" I mutter close to his ear.

"What is it, my love?" he asks as he cups my right cheek with his left hand. I can feel tears starting to emerge but I keep silent.

"Catherine?"

I look away from him so he wouldn't see my tears as I say what I'm going to say.

"Catherine, love, what is wrong?"

I swallow hard before saying, "I don't have a lot of requests, Vincent…but…whenever I die…could you do something for me?" I look up at him with tear-filled eyes and continue, "I…I want to be buried in a sea of flowers…so that…I…my grave…will look beautiful when…when I'm dead. Maybe…maybe if that happens…I, too, will be reborn like the plants."

"Catherine…you still have a long life ahead of you. There's no need to be talking like this." He says as tears roll down his cheeks.

"Do I?" I ask. "We don't know what tomorrow brings, Vincent…I…my body could shut down any moment…it's like I'm a time bomb…no…I am a time bomb. Every second of my life is a second I have to pray to God that I don't die the next moment. I have…I have to treat every day like it's my last…Do you know how hard it is to face life knowing death is just knocking on your door?"

"I can't imagine, Catherine, what hardships you go through every day and it kills me to see you in so much pain when I can't do anything about it except…be here for you. You shouldn't think about death, love. You should think about the life you have."

"Please Vincent…please do this for me?" I ask with pleading eyes.

He pulls me closer to him, his cheek touching my cheek and he says with a crack in his voice, "I…I promise…Catherine. For you, I promise." I can tell he's crying. He may be trying to hide it but I feel his tears sliding down my own cheek.

"Thank you." I whisper into his ear. We stay silent for several minutes and continue to hold each other (well, he continues to hold me) as the snow falls down around us. Eventually, he places me back into my chair and we leave the park with tear-stained faces. I'll always remember this moment—the day we cried tears together.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: January 21, 2008**

"Like the new digs, Cat?" Tess asks me as she finishes helping me make my bed.

"Yeah…it's very convenient for me; I love not having to take the elevator every day." I say with a smile. "So…how was your holiday?"

"Pretty good." Tess replies, "The rents gave me a new printer. The bros pitched in and gave me a beautiful police uniform for when I get out into the field. Joe gave me handcuffs. Only the Lord knows what was going on in his mind when he bought them."

"Yeah. No kidding." I laugh.

"What about you?"

"Me? Oh, well. My parents bought me this wheelchair…well…I didn't want presents this year. I didn't really need anything; I just wanted the people I love to be near me on Christmas Day, and that's what I got." I smile. "Oh and Vincent went against my wishes and gave me a beautiful promise ring."

"Ooooh! Let me see!" Tess exclaims as she bends down to see my left hand. "Oh my word, Cat! That's gorgeous! So are you promised to get married someday?"

"No." I say sadly. "The ring is to symbolize the promise he made with me the day we found out about my illness."

"What promise?"

"That he would stay by my side unconditionally until I push him away." I say with a smile as I remember the memory.

**Flashback (3****rd**** person POV): **

_Catherine's family finally went back home after a nice Christmas gathering. Vincent, on the other hand, stayed behind to give his girlfriend her gift. _

"_Alone at last." Catherine whispers as Vincent leans in to kiss her. _

"_Finally." He smiles and kisses her softly once more. "Catherine…remember that promise I made long ago when you told me about your sickness?" _

"_It seems so long ago, doesn't it?" Catherine replies and Vincent nods. _

"_Indeed…It does." He answers as he pulls out a velvet jewelry box. Catherine gasps when he opens it to take it out of its container. As he holds it between his thumb and forefinger, he asks, "Catherine…will you wear this ring for me as a reminder of the promise I made to you? You know how much I love you and I want you to see this ring on your finger every day and remember that I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for as long as you want me around. Rain or shine, Catherine Elizabeth Chandler, I'm yours. So…will you give me the honor and let me slide this ring on your finger?" _

_She started crying and nodding at the same time. He gently pulled her left hand towards him and he slid the promise ring on Catherine's finger. "There…Now the world can see you have a boyfriend who loves you just for whom you are." _

_Catherine smiles and shares a kiss with her beloved. "I love it, Vincent. Thank you." She gives him a hug and whispers, "Thank you" once more in his ear before he kisses her forehead. Without a word, he slips into the covers with her and she leans into him. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her into his warmth and the sleep the snowy Christmas night away. _

**End of Flashback**

"So…did you two have a New Year's Eve 'party'?" Tess asks and I smile.

"I guess you could call it that…Vincent managed to get my doctor's permission to haul me away from the hospital for a night. My parents and Heather were spending the New Years with my aunt and uncle in Queens so if it weren't for Vincent, I would have been spending New Year's Eve alone."

"And what DID you two DO at his apartment?" Tess gives me a smirk. "Anything worth your while?"

"You…could say that." I grin. "We watched the ball drop from his balcony as we drank hot cocoa and then…"

"Then what? As the ball was dropping, did you see his balls rise?"

"Tess!" I reprimand her. "No sex questions, remember?!"

"Sorry! Sorry! It's just…I didn't know if you were still ABLE to have sex since…well…you know." She sits on her bed and twirls her thumbs.

I blush and say, "Let's just say Vincent and I have to be particular about our positions in order to continue making love."

"Kinky." Tess smirks. "I'd love to stay and chat but Joe wants to meet for breakfast. I'm sure you and V have b-plans?"

"Yeah…He's taking me to Denny's since my…our first class doesn't start until 11 AM." I say.

"Alright. See ya!" Tess waves before disappearing out of sight. I open my new drawer slowly and pull out my diary. With pen in hand, I start writing.

_**Dear Diary, 01/21/2008, **_

_**School starts later today…**_

_**I'm not sure how I feel about going into each class with my wheelchair but I'll do whatever I can to continue my studies. Since my body is deteriorating, I want to keep my mind as fresh as possible. I owe it to myself, don't I?**_

_**I'll admit…there are times I want to scream into my pillow and think of every possible reason of why God gave me this disease. However, whenever I'm with Vincent…I feel differently…I tend to think that God gave me this disease because, in the long run, He knew I'd be able to handle it…in some shape or form. **_

_**Writing still hurts but I'll continue to write in my diary for as long as possible. It is a testament to my daily living. If I write in my diary, I know I'm alive…and tomorrow, I'll know I was alive today.**_

_**I start thinking about that day…the day before I found out about my diagnosis…If I knew what God had in store for me, would I have lived my life differently? Would I handle things differently? I guess I would never know…but…despite my thoughts, today…and the future…is what is important. Not the what-ifs. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Catherine**_

As I close my diary and place it back into my drawer, my dorm room door opens with Vincent saying, "Knock, knock!"

"Hey." I smile as he walks over to me and sits next to me on my bed. Tess must have forgotten to close the door all of the way; that's the only reason he'd be able to walk in. We share a kiss as he laces his fingers with mine.

"Ready for breakfast?"

"Mhmm!" I exclaim and he smiles.

"Good. I'm starving." He whispers before picking me up and placing me into my wheelchair. We leave the campus (my wheelchair definitely did not go unnoticed) and head for Denny's.

Let.

The.

Day.

Begin.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_In the classroom, I said to A-sensei, "In my dream, when I stretched my back straight, I was able to walk briskly. You were pleased to see me doing that."  
"Up to now," he said, "you've only had to think about your studies. But now you may be having a hard time with cleaning and other duties."  
He then told me this:  
"A child suffering from progressive muscular dystrophy wrote this poem:_

_**God presented me with a handicap**__**  
**__**Because He believed**__**  
**__**I had the power to endure it…"**_

~Aya Kitou (Ch. 3: The Start of Distress IV) ~

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**Yay! Chapter 11 is over! :)**

**Tell me what you think! Please?! **

**By the way, here is the link for the promise ring! X3**

**http (COLON) (SLASH) (SLASH) 0*DOT*tqn*DOT*com/d/honeymoons/1/6/i/3/2/01afforda ble-diamond*DOT*png**

**NOTE: Sensei means teacher in Japanese. ^_^**


	13. I Would Not Have Been Able to Breathe

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twelve: I Would Not Have Been Able to Breathe**_

**Date: February 04, 2008**

Two weeks have passed since school restarted and it feels like time is slowing down for me. Each day is more and more of a struggle and I hate it. Don't get me wrong, my disease hasn't progressed much; it's those damn stares I keep getting from my peers. No matter where I go, who I talk to, or what questions I ask, people are always staring at me, judging me, talking about me. I HATE IT! Can't they realize how much pain I am already in?! Can't they see I want to scream as loud as possible in hopes that everything is a dream? A nightmare?!

Despite how I feel, it will always continue. There's nothing I can do about it.

I am just a spectator…That's all I am…That's all I'll ever be. Watching from the inside and never interacting on the outside. That's my future.

"Can I help with anything, love?" Vincent asks as he wraps his arms around my shoulders. For the past three hours, I have been working on my computer, trying to type up this damn test for a class on Wednesday. I have seven essays to type and I've only gotten three of them done!

I look up to him and he leans in for a kiss before I answer him. "You wouldn't mind typing these answers up, would you? I have another test to study for tomorrow's Psychology test and will have almost no time tomorrow to work on this essay test. I've gotten three essays already done but by the time I'm done typing all of them, it'll be morning!"

"Calm down, Catherine." Vincent whispers as he tightens his arms around me. "I have no problem finishing up your test for you. I have speedy typing skills and will be able to cut your work time in thirds."

"You would do that for me?" I ask with puppy dog eyes.

"Of course!"

And this would be the time I would spin around, leap into his arms and kiss him ferociously. There's just one little problem. I can't.

He picks me up into his arms and places me on my bed before handing me my study material for tomorrow's test. "You're such a life saver, Vincent." I smile.

"Well, I'm not going to be a doctor for nothing." He smirks and kisses me on the forehead. "Now no more talking, young missy. You need to study and once I'm done typing up your test, I'll help you finish your studying."

"Since when do seniors have so much time on their hands?" I raise my eyebrow as he chuckles.

"Since I've scheduled my classes." He says. "Remember? I have two classes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday; Tuesdays and Thursdays only have one class…a three-hour long class."

"And you don't have any homework to prep for that class?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Finished it over the weekend."

"You're such an over-achiever." I roll my eyes and laugh.

"Thank you for finally noticing one of my many irresistible talents." He snickers and I shake my head in disdain.

"You're such a goofball." I say as I toss Buppy (my non-Vincent sleeping companion, aka my stuffed dog) at him but miss. Damn disease. He picks Buppy up and hands him to me. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now. Study." He points his finger down at my textbook as he gives his command.

"Aye! Aye! Mon Capitan!" I salute sloppily before opening my notes as he walked back to my computer to start typing. After an hour or so, Vincent stretches his arms and leans back in my wheelchair. "Be careful, Vincent. I don't want my parents to have to buy me a new one."

He stands up, walks towards me and sits at the foot of my bed. "How's your studying coming along?"

"Good...ish…My…my hands are bothering me…it's hard to focus when I'm in constant pain." I say.

"Have you taken your pain relief medication yet?" Vincent asks and I shake my head.

"No…the medication makes me sleepy…and I feel like I lose more control of my body when I consume a dose."

Vincent nods and says, "Would it be easier for you to take a make-up exam at the testing center? You'll have a longer amount of time to study as well as take the test."

"I don't…I don't want to inconvenience my professor." I reply. "It would help if you could test me…I can try and answer all that I remember and so forth."

"Sounds good." He smiles. "I saved your test to your documents. Just say the word and I will print it."

"Thank you, Vincent." I grin and he takes my notes away from me to start looking over the material.

"By the time we're done, my love, you'll ace your exam. I promise." He says and he asks his first study question. "What do we mean by the term, _politics_?"

"Oh gosh…uh…ummmm…I remember this one! What is it! Oh! Wait! I know! _The art or science of a government…especially…especially…the governing of a political thingy…like a nation…_or something like that."

"This is going to take a little longer than I thought." He says under his breath but I can hear him loud and clear.

"Sorry…my brain is really tired. I'm going to fail this test! I just know it!"

"If you have that attitude, Catherine, you'll definitely fail it. Now, come on. Have I ever let you down before?"

I think about it and say, "None I can recall."

"Exactly. So I'm going to feed you so much soup of politics for your test tomorrow, you're going to vomit your test answers onto your scantron."

"Nice analogy…" I roll my eyes.

"Are you with me?"

"Sure."

"What?! I can't hear you!"

"I said: Sure!"

"More positivity please!"

"STOP STALLING AND HELP ME STUDY, MORON!"

"That's my girl." He snickers and I roll my eyes.

"Honestly Vincent…Sometimes I wonder why you're not in the military. You're very good at yelling."

"Who knows…maybe in some other life, I am…erm…was…or will be." He says.

"And who knows, Vincent, maybe in some other life, I actually become a cop and kick some ass."

"With my help of course."

"You can't help, Vincent. You'd be in the military."

"Hmmm…then let's say I left the military and help you fight your crimes from behind the bushes."

"Why behind the bushes?" I ask.

"Because…Something tells me I would be a dark and mysterious kind of guy; one that hides in the shadows until needed…you know…like Batman." He says. "And maybe you're my Rachel Dawes."

"Rachel Dawes was a lawyer, Vincent. Not a cop."

"Same difference. In any case, I have a feeling we're together in any and every lifetime…and we fight our beasts together just like we're fighting yours right now."

"Vincent…my beast can't be tamed." I say sadly.

"Maybe your disease can't, but your test can! Now, look at me." He commands so I look at him. "Do you believe you can defeat this test like Batman defeats his enemies?"

"If we stop talking about bats and start talking about politics; yes!" I say with confidence.

"Great! Now don't stop BAT Believing!" he states with conviction.

"Cute…very cute." I say before he starts asking me another question for my test. For the next few hours, he spends his time helping me study for my test before we eventually fall asleep in a spooning position.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: March 07, 2008**

"Good news!" I exclaim to Vincent as he pushes me towards the dining hall.

"What?"

"I forgot to tell you yesterday…I got my politics test back!"

"How did you do?" he asks as he waits for me to answer his question.

"89%!" I exclaim. "Thanks to you, Vincent, I was able to remember most of our study tactics we created the night before!"

"That's wonderful, Catherine! I'm so proud of you!" he stops pushing me for a moment and gives me a kiss. "What did you get wrong?"

"It wasn't that I got anything wrong, Vincent. I just couldn't finish the test in time. My fingers were hurting and it's hard to answer short answer essays without my fingers stiffening up."

"That's okay, love. The point is, you passed and that's great!"

"Thank you." I smile and he rolls me to a table before picking me up and placing me on my feet. We walk slowly to the breakfast assembly line and collect our food. He pays for both our meals and helps me carry mine to our table. People stare…big surprise but I don't care anymore. If they want to turn their nose at me, so be it. It's their problem, not mine.

I pick up my fork and try to stab my potatoes but no matter how many times I try to poke them, the fork misses. So I give up on the potatoes and try for the ham. I pick up my knife and try cutting it; I accidentally slice my finger instead. Immediately, I drop my utensils and start sucking on my thumb.

"What happened?" Vincent asks as he finishes eating his last morsel on his plate.

I take my thumb out of my mouth and say, "I cut my thumb instead of the ham."

"Let me see it." he demands as he pulls my hand towards him to examine my thumb. "It's just a minor cut…worst case scenario? You'll need a Band-Aid and Neosporin. We can go back to my dorm after breakfast. I have some there." I nod and he pulls out his handkerchief. "In the meantime, wear this." He wraps his kerchief around my thumb and tells me to hold it in place with my fingers touching my palm. I do so while he cuts up my food and feeds me. Have I really reached the point where I have to depend on someone to pop food into my mouth? Am I really that pathetic?

As he feeds me the potatoes, I start coughing a little…choking. I manage to swallow the starchy diced vegetable but just barely. Vincent places my cup of water against my mouth for me to sip from it. While the water rushes down my throat, he rubs the back of my neck and asks, "Are you alright."

I nod and push my plate away. "I don't think I have an appetite anymore."

"You need to eat, love. I don't want you getting even sicker from lack of food. You don't have to eat the potatoes but can you try and finish up your meat? I've cut it into smaller pieces for you while you were sipping your water."

"Okay…" I say and he skewers the ham with my fork before bringing it to my mouth. I carefully swallow and manage to push the meat down my throat without choking or coughing. I take one piece at a time and am able to finish the ham on my plate. If it weren't for Vincent's encouragement and problem-solving skills, I would be a very hungry person right now.

We avoid the stares and return to his dorm so he can patch up my finger.

"There." He whispers and kisses my finger. "All better."

"Thanks, Vincent…for everything." I smile and we share a kiss.

"No, love. Thank you." He grins and adds, "May I accompany you on your roll to your first class?"

I laugh at his way of words and say, "Of course, dummy. In fact, you can do better. You can push me to my class so I'm not late."

"Perfect. It's a roll and stroll date." He smirks and I smack him lightly on the arm as he leans down for another kiss.

I wrap my arms around him and say, "However…we DO still have two hours until my first class, Vincent."

"Catherine Elizabeth Chandler, that isn't your way of telling me you're turned on right now, is it?" he smirks as he picks me up into his arms and carries me to his bed. "You're lucky JT and I have separate rooms in this dorm or else we would be in big trouble."

"Don't care." I whisper as I bring my lips to his and kiss him ferociously. He kisses me back with just as much passion as he slips his hands underneath my shirt and removes it from my body before unhooking my bra, pulling it off of me and tossing it to the floor.

He also pulls off his shirt, places it next to my head and presses his lips against my neck as I clumsily claw his back. Suddenly, Vincent's door opens and we hear JT say, "Dude, can you help me with th—Oh God! I am super sorry! I should have knocked!"

Vincent glares at his best friend while I snatch his discarded shirt and cover my chest. JT immediately slams the door. Vincent sighs and says, "Looks like we may have to wait until later."

"Yeah…so turned off right now." I say and he agrees. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." I say. "It happens."

Just as Vincent pulls his shirt away from me to put it back on, we hear a knock on the door and JT's voice. "Dude, can I like come in now?"

"NO!" Vincent barks loudly. "Just…just wait in the common room. I'll meet you there in a few minutes!"

"O-okay!" JT answers with an embarrassed, shaky voice. Vincent gathers my bra and my shirt and helps me put them back on.

Vincent picks me up, places me in my wheelchair and pushes me into the common room. He then whispers, "Maybe we should keep you know what at you know where to avoid INTERRUPTIONS from you know who."

"Dude, I'm like right here." JT says. "No need to talk about me in code."

"Just making sure you get the message." Vincent replies as he leaves my side. "What's up?"

"I need help with this algorithm. You think you can give it a try? I've gotten all of the others but this one is being a bitch." JT says.

"Sure." Vincent says.

"I'll be in my dorm room, Vincent." I say. "Just come by around 10:30 to 10:45 AM to pick me up. Okay?"

"Are you sure you don't want to hang around here?"

"Sorry…but I can tell you're going to be busy with trying to read Greek so before I get a headache listening to you two speak in some foreign language, I'm gonna jet."

"Alright. You need help?"

"No. I got it. Thanks for offering though." I smile and he leans down to kiss me. "I'll see you later."

"Right." He watches me turn myself around and exit his dorm suite to make sure I make it out alive. Sometimes I wonder how much he worries about me each day. Is it a lot? Or a little bit? Maybe I'll never know.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Time: 1:55 PM**

"Why didn't you wake me up in time!?" Tess asks as she pushes me towards the History building. "We're never going to make it!"

"Tess! Could you slow down!? You're going to fling me into the air if the wheels catch on something!" I exclaim. "Besides! I DID wake you up on time! You just kept on asking for FIVE MORE MINUTES! So don't blame your laziness on me!"

"Whatever…" she replies but doesn't slow down her speed. "We're almost to the doors!"

"Great! Just peachy! Then what? Am I going to fly up those steps!?" I ask as she opens the double doors.

"Hurry up, Cat!" she states. "Go faster!"

"I can't!" I turn around and snap at her as I start walking up the stairs at a very slow speed. "Look, you go on ahead and tell Dr. Hobbes that I'm on my way."

"And leave you climbing these god-awful stairs yourself?! No way! We're in this together! Besides, your wheelchair stays here so it's not like I have to carry that up too."

I continue walking up the stairs while holding the railing but lose my footing and fall backwards. I cringe when I thought I would meet the floor but I have a soft landing.

I hear a groan from underneath me and widen my eyes. I roll off of Tess and exclaim, "Oh gosh! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!? Do you need a doctor? A nurse?!"

"I'm fine." She states through gritted teeth. Just sore in the wrist."

She stands up to her feet and says, "Come on. Get on my back. I'll carry you up there."

"No…you know what…" I say. "You go on ahead. I'm not feeling well suddenly. I think my meds are giving me a stomach ache."

"Oh no you don't! I did not just act as the Human London Bridge to catch your fall for nothing! Tess exclaims. "You're coming to class! That's final!" She picks me up, throws me over her shoulder and marches up the steps. "You're damn lucky you're light as a feather. Otherwise, we'd have a problem."

When we enter the class, Tess explains to Dr. Hobbes that I fell and she was helping me back up. He nods and tells us to take our seats so the lecture can continue. What an embarrassment.

**Beauty and the Beast**

After class, I return to my dorm without Tess's help. I sit on my butt on the stairs and scoot myself down before waddling to my wheelchair. I couldn't face her nor did I want to. I know she was putting on a tough act when I asked her if she was okay. She kept holding her wrist in class so I know she wasn't fine.

I finally get to my dorm, slowly make it to my bed and pull out my diary so I could start writing.

_**Dear Diary, 03/07/2008, **_

_**#1: I choked a bit today.**_

_**#2: JT walked in on V & me while we were starting up…AWKWARD. **_

_**#3: Fell on stairs today; Tess injured.**_

_**#4: I'm okay if I'm the only one in pain; when others start getting hurt too, I start to hate myself again. I keep feeling regret. Pain. Loneliness. I know Tess means well by helping me but I'm sure she's tired of it and I'm tired of relying on her all of the time. I feel like I'm limiting her just as this disease is limiting me. **_

_**Life sucks. **_

_**I wonder if I'll still be like this in 10 years…or even 20. My mom is currently 45…I wonder if I'll make it to that age.**_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Catherine**_

I place my diary back into my drawer and close my eyes to hide from the world. That's the best solution when I don't want to see anyone or see people do things I can't. It's painful to watch people accomplish things I'll never accomplish. So. I close my eyes.

I hear a knock on my door but don't say anything. "Catherine! Are you okay?!" I hear Vincent call through the door. When I don't answer, he unlocks it himself with his spare key (the key I gave him) and immediately slips beside me on my bed. "I heard what happened."

"You did?" I ask.

"Yeah…word travels…You want to talk about it?"

"No…Just…Just hold me."

"Alright." He replies and pulls me against him. "I won't say another word about it."

"Thanks." Falling is one thing. Falling on another person is something completely different. I feel like my pride has been shattered (again!)…I don't know if I want to see Tess or anybody besides Vincent right now. I'm too embarrassed.

We stay in my room for another hour before leaving for his apartment for the night. I don't think sex is going to happen tonight…I just don't feel like doing anything right now. I don't even know if I wanna face Tess on Monday. I just don't know. Sometimes…I feel like I'm drowning…like I can't breathe...kind of like the first day I found out about my disease. I'm drowning because I can't breathe…I can't breathe because I have no control over my body. I am suffocating and I just want to roll over and die right now.

Is that too much to ask for?

Is it?

How can I stop this pain if it is incurable? Is there some way, other than death, that can cure my daily pain?

I say I want to die but that's not true.

I want to live!

Dammit!

I WANT TO LIVE!

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I wonder if my disease can heal naturally? I'm now 17. I wonder how many more years I'll have to fight against it until God forgives me . . . I can't imagine myself at the same age as Mom is now (42). I couldn't imagine becoming a second grader at Higashi High, and now I'm afraid I may not be able to live till I'm 42. But I want to still be alive at that age!_

_~Aya Kitou~_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: PLEASE REVIEW! PLEEEEEASE! Q.Q**


	14. Right Now, I Need to Keep Moving Forward

**NOTE: THIS CHAPTER HAS SOME M-RATED THEMES!**

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Thirteen: Right now, I Need to Keep Moving Forward**_

**Date: March 10, 2008**

For the past three nights, I have been staying in Vincent's apartment when I wasn't at the hospital continuing my therapy. My dad is out of town for an out-of-state case and Mom has been working overtime lately since one of her coworkers is on maternity leave. Heather is staying with Aunt Stacy in Queens for a few months to help her with her children since Uncle Richie is deployed overseas. I have a feeling Heather won't last long; Billy, Alexis and Andy are too obnoxious for their own good. I'd give her another week; she'll crack eventually.

Anyways, after my therapy session on Saturday, I had another check-up. Dr. Marks gave me some devastating news. He said that, for some unknown reason, my disease is progressing far faster than the average patient. He didn't expect to see my current state until at least five years or so after my diagnosis. I guess the progression really does depend on the patient.

"I have to go see the Dean, Vincent." I say as he pushes me to his car. "He emailed me over the weekend and wants to speak with me at 10 AM."

"Do you know what it's about?"

"No…He just said it's urgent business." I answer Vincent as he picks me up and helps me into the passenger seat of his car. He then folds up my wheelchair and puts it in the trunk before hopping into the driver's seat.

"Well, if it's urgent, do you want me to accompany you?" he asks but I shake my head.

"Sorry, Vincent, but he asked me to come alone. However, I would like it if you could take me there. It's hard to move this chair by myself when my fingers are in constant pain."

"Alright. Consider me your chauffeur for the morning." He smiles and pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street. On our way to school, I open up the car window and lean my head against the door as my hair blows in a thousand directions.

"The spring air feels nice." I say as the warm breeze kisses my skin.

"Does it?"

"Yeah…" I say with a tired voice. I've been lacking sleep lately. My body is always painful and it keeps me awake at night. Sometimes I wonder how I am able to survive a day without a nap. "Wake me up when we're there, kay?"

"No problem." He replies and I drift off to a light slumber as he drives us to the campus.

As promised, Vincent wakes me up after he parks and helps me back into my wheelchair. Since both of us have later classes during the day, we didn't leave his apartment until closer to 9:30 AM. It's 9:50 AM right now so he pushes me to Rider Hall—the building where the dean's office is located.

Vincent knocks on Dean Wilkerson's office door for me and we hear a voice hollering, "Come in!" My boyfriend opens the door and pushes me inside.

"Hello Mr. Keller. I want to thank you for all of the help you do for Ms. Chandler." Dean Wilkerson smiles as he extends his hand to shake Vincent's. As I watch them shake hands, he continues, "I hope Ms. Chandler told you this meeting is only between the two of us, did she not?"

"She did." Vincent replies. "I'm just helping her get settled before I walk out to wait until you two are done talking."

"Very well." the dean states and Vincent kisses the top of my head.

"I'll be right out here, okay?" he says and I nod before he leaves the office and walks down the hall to sit in the student lounge (at least that's where I think he's walking to).

"Now…let's get started, shall we?" Dean Wilkerson says and takes a seat in his chair. "Do you know why you're here, Ms. Chandler?"

"No, sir. I don't." I say and he sighs.

"Ms. Chandler, it has come to my attention that your disease is progressing much faster than usual. Am I correct?"

"Yes sir." I say. "Dr. Marks, my doctor, is doing the best he can with the equipment and medicine he has to treat my disease."

"That's marvelous but because of the rate your disease is progressing, I'm afraid Hudson University does not have the necessities you need to continue your education."

"What are you saying?"

"Look around you, Ms. Chandler. Hudson University is not built for students with diseases. You are having problems moving without your wheelchair and I fear you may hurt yourself by pushing your limits. You don't need college education, Ms. Chandler. What you need is specialized school for the handicapped."

"Dean Wilkerson, with all due respect, I am still capable of participating in class! Sure, one of my friends has to copy her notes for me since I have trouble writing at a fast pace and my boyfriend pushes me and my wheelchair around almost everywhere I go but…I'm not defected."

"But are you even sure your friends will stick around and help you after a few more months of going by YOUR schedule?! You need help, Catherine. Hudson University is not a place for you…it would be one thing if your disease was static but it's not. It's continually getting worse and it's not only putting a toll on my staff but it's also holding back some of the students since you arrive late in your classes."

"What gives you the right to tell me my friends…my boyfriend…will leave me after a few months?! Don't you think I know that?! I struggle with this disease every day and not once do I stop thinking about my future! I know that one day…I'll be alone because no one will want to help me. I know that I won't be able to function like normal people but I don't appreciate someone…even you…telling me how to live my life!" I say with confidence. "I live my own life and will go to the school of my own choosing!"

With that, I reverse my wheelchair and roll out of his office. I don't care if my fingers are hurting! I won't allow anyone to tell me how to live my life! I already have a disease that's holding the reigns of my life so I don't need another damn person telling me which path to take!

I keep rolling down the hall as fast as I possibly can and forget about the three mini steps that go down to the student lounge. With a loud crashing sound, my wheelchair traps me against the floor as I hear Vincent calling out my name. He picks up my wheelchair and, with my luck, it isn't damaged unlike my pride. He helps me up and carries me back to my wheelchair before asking, "What happened?"

"Can we talk later and just get out of here?" I ask and he nods before he pushes me out the building and towards the dorm complex. I can't believe myself! First I tell Dean Wilkerson that I don't need to transfer schools! Then, just as I am leaving his office, I prove him right by crashing down those steps! I feel so stupid! I'm fortunate Vincent was the only one who heard or saw anything. Not even the office secretary came out to check on me. Maybe the dean is right…maybe when he says the school doesn't have the necessities to accommodate my disease, he's actually talking about his staff…and that they don't have the patience to deal with me.

"The dean wants me to transfer to a handicap school." I say when we enter Vincent's bedroom.

"He wants you to what?!"

"Yeah…I know. I sugarcoated my words and told him to butt out of my life. You should have heard him, Vincent. He was trying to make my decisions for me as if I had already decided to switch schools! I've never been more insulted in my life!"

"Calm down, love. I'm sure it's all a big misunderstanding and that he was actually offering you an option not a solution."

"No, Vincent. That's not what he was implying." I say.

"Cather—"

"Never mind, Vincent. You weren't there! What would you know?!" I shout as I waddle out of my wheelchair. I try leaving but I fall to the floor and start crying. How did my life turn out to be like this? I never used to be so wimpy and would be able to handle a silly argument. Why am I such a coward?

Vincent wraps his arms around me and says, "Then tell me what I need to know, love. Help me understand."

"It's just…I'm sure…he meant well…but he went too far."

"What do you mean?"

"As he was listing all of the reasons I shouldn't be attending Hudson University anymore, he also nailed a few of my insecurities…it's like he could see right through me and tell me what I already knew…remind me of what I already knew…"

"What did he say?"

"That…I should leave before I lose all of my friendships due to this disease…that I'm relying too much on you and Tess…and that…in time…you two will want out. That's why I got mad…and went code yellow on him. I didn't like how he…used my own insecurity against me…it's like he doesn't even want me attending his school…that I'm giving Hudson University a bad name."

"Catherine…love…I already told you this once and I'll tell you again: I'm 100% in. I gave you the ring that's on your finger as a reminder of my commitment to you. Remember?" I nod and he holds me closer. "I love you, my beloved, and I promise you I'm not going to leave…no matter what. I know…I know you probably feel like you're drowning alone but, sink or swim, I'm diving in to be with you. I now you're suffering, love. And I'll be honest; I am too…but with different reasons. You're suffering because of this disease and I get that. Sure, I may not understand completely of what you're going through but I know what it's like to be on the deep end…to want an out." He cups my face and continues. "Catherine, every time I see you cry, hear your insecurities, your doubts and your broken heart, I feel like there's a hole in my chest and it's constantly getting bigger. As much as I want to take the bullet for you…to take this pain away from you…I can't and it's killing me inside to see you suffer from so much baggage. It pains me to see you in so much pain and I think…because I share some of the pain you're feeling…experiencing…I don't think it's possible to live life without you. You have become a wonderful part of my life and…I'm not going anywhere. You got that? I love you, Catherine. Warts and all; nothing is going to change how I feel about you."

I feel a tear fall down my face as he kisses my forehead. "Vincent…don't think…for a moment…that I don't love you…I…I may have my insecurities but that doesn't mean I love you any less. It's just…how can I expect you to stay around when I can't even look at myself in the mirror and appreciate what I see? In all honesty, I feel like I'm abandoning my own body. I want to stay but…everything…it's just…so hard…I'm afraid…that one day…all that's left of me is my body and my mind…two separate entities combined in one life. I won't be able to even say how much I love you in years to come. How…can you expect to stay when I'm a genetic failure?"

"Catherine, don't say that. You're not a failure; you're a blessing in my life and I wouldn't have you any other way. Yes…one day you won't be able to say how much you love me but that doesn't matter to me. I'll know…in here…" he points to his heart. "I'll know how much you love me because you and I are connected in more ways than you know. I feel like…the night we first made love…our souls were bonded. When we're separated, I somehow know you're sad…or happy. I know when you're in pain and when you need me. Believe me when I say this, love; you are my angel—my life's purpose."

"How can I be? I probably won't even be able to see you grow old, Vincent! How can I be your life's purpose when there's none for mine?"

"Catherine…I don't believe for a second that you have no purpose in life. It may not be apparent right now but that doesn't mean your life is pointless. I've told you hundreds of times before that you shine, love. I'm…going to tell you something, Catherine…Something no one else knows about me."

"What?"

"Ummm…you know that day we met? The time you knocked down all of those bikes and 'made me late' for class?" I nod so he continues. "Well, I wasn't exactly heading for class. You see, I was…ummm…going to skip class…and…remove my problems from the world, so to speak."

I gasp in horror and say, "Vincent, how could you even think about taking your own life?!"

"I was still hurting, love. My brothers were dead and I still blamed myself for their deaths. There was a lot of guilt piling up on me after…sleeping around for so long…that I just wanted the guilt and the voices in my head to go away. I felt like I was living a lie…even though I stopped all of my high school habits, I still felt empty. I was putting on an act for JT and my friends so they had no idea what I was internally going through. I didn't think I deserved to be a doctor because of all of the shit I've done in my life; I mean…what kind of hospital would hire a former sex addict anyways? So…I thought ending it would be the best solution…then…when you appeared out of nowhere…you unintentionally stopped me from making the worst decision of my life, Catherine. If anything, I owe you my life."

"Did you receive any help…mental help?"

"No…I didn't need to. The second you entered my life, you gave me a purpose again. Believe it or not but I fell in love with you right then and there. I could see that there was something about you…something beautiful…and you know what? I was right and not only did you stop me from making the worst decision of my life but…you also provided me with the BEST decision of my life. You are my saving grace, Catherine. You've never abandoned me during my lows…like on September 11th of last year…so I'm not going to abandon you either."

At his confession, I start crying and laughing at the same time. It is a weird sort of expression but I just couldn't help myself from laughing alongside of crying.

"What is it, love?" he asks me as he picks me up in his arms and places me on his bed.

"All this time…I thought…I thought of you as my angel…my saving grace, Vincent…Now…you're telling me you thought of me the same way. It's just…ironic…and beautiful at the same time." I say and he grins.

"Hmmm…two angels sent to Earth to find each other, love each other and fight each other's battles. I like the sound of that." He grins and bends down to kiss me. I slowly wrap my arms around his neck and continue our kiss. He helps me straddle his waist and keeps me upright as we make out.

"I love you Vincent." I whisper.

"I love you too, my beloved Catherine. I love you too." He replies and removes his shirt from his body. He brings his lips back to mine as I look at the clock and push him lightly away.

"Vincent, I have class in ten minutes." I say but he shakes his head.

"Not today you don't." I hear him whisper before merging his lips with mine once again. He's right…Why bother with classes right now when I should be spending time with the most important person in my life? Besides, I'm sure my professors won't miss me even for a second.

We strip off our clothes and I continue straddling Vincent in order for us to make love. Unfortunately, my disease as progressed so much that we have to make love by sitting in an upright position with our legs straddled around each other's waists. I feel my breath escape my lips as our bodies fuse together and realize how stupid I was for having my insecurities about Vincent. Our love for one another is too deep for permanent separation, right? Right?

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: April 26, 2008**

It's been a little over a month since I spoke with Dean Wilkerson. I have been trying my hardest to prove him wrong…to prove that I don't need a handicap school to continue my education. However, no matter how much I try to fit in…I don't. I am a stranger to the world of the walking.

Right now, I'm on my way to see Dr. Marks for another check-up. I have just finished therapy and want to get this appointment over with.

"Hello, Catherine. How are you feeling today?" he asks me as the nurse pushes me into his office.

"I'm okay…I guess." I say as I hand him my latest diary. Every month, Dr. Evans wants to read my diary entries to see the progress of my disease. I don't really care if he's reading all about my side entries about Vincent and such; it's not like he's going to copy the pages and send them to the internet. "I have a question for you, Dr. Marks."

"I hope it's something I can help with." He replies with a smile. "What's your question?"

"Ummm…about a month ago…the dean of my school…thinks I should continue my studies at a handicapped school…since Hudson University doesn't have the proper necessities I need…like ramps. What do you think?"

"I obviously wouldn't recommend against the option, Catherine. At a handicap school, you'll have nurses who will attend to your needs morning, noon and night. If you want one, I have a brochure for NYSD: New York School for the Disabled. It is located in Brooklyn and I highly recommend you take a day of class off and visit the campus. They normally do not take college students without referral so if you choose to transfer schools, I can give you one. You'll graduate from the program the same year you would graduate if you remain at Hudson U. Please consider visiting the school even if you plan on staying at your current college."

"Thank you for your honesty, Dr. Marks." I say as I place the brochure in my purse. "Do I have to call to make an appointment?"

"I don't think you do but if I were you, I would send them a call anyways. That way, they know when to expect you. Okay?"

"Alright. Thank you." I say. "Am I done here?"

"Let's run a few motor skills tests. Okay?"

"Alright." I say and he starts asking me to move my body in certain directions so he can check my progression.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"How was your appointment?" Vincent asks as he drives me home.

"It was all right…I finally asked Dr. Marks about disability schools today."

"And?"

"He thinks I should consider it…at least think about it. He gave me this brochure for the New York School for the Disabled. It's in Brooklyn so it isn't like I would be moving miles away if I decide to go."

"So what're you going to do?"

"I think…sometime next week, I'm going to miss a day of classes and visit the school. I have a few questions and I think it's best to get them answered there. What do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea, love. You're carefully weighing your options and you're not rushing into any decision. Do you want me to go with you when you visit this school?"

"No…I think I should go alone. I'll talk to my parents tonight and see if one of them is able to take me. If not, then I may take you up on your offer if you promise to finish your homework." I laugh and he smiles.

"I don't think I'll have a problem with that." He says.

"Good." I reply before we ride the rest of the way back to my home in silence.

It feels like Vincent has become a part of my family in more ways than one. He's often around whenever I'm with my family so I think my parents really like him. He's been eating dinner with us every Saturday and Sunday night as well as breakfast on Sunday mornings. They even let him spend the night in my room every Saturday night since all they think we do is sleep.

"Home." I call out to anyone who is home. Vincent wheels me to my new room—the old living room—and helps me out of my wheelchair. I hobble like an old granny to the family room with the brochure in hand and Vincent follows. It turns out my family are still out shopping or whatever they do when I'm not around. We sit on the sofa and decide to look at the brochure to pass the time.

We mostly make fun of the sappy slogans like "We're HERE to serve YOU!" and "The Wheelchair is YOUR friend!". But, when I read the statistics to myself, the brochure says NYSD focuses on helping students feel a part of a community by giving them various activities such as art and writing. As for education…they do not continue beyond the level of fifth grade. The school is mostly for K-12 but, as Dr. Marks said, they do take in college students by referral. "You know…I don't know if I want to go to NYSD." I say to Vincent. "I don't think I'm ready to stop my education."

"You do what's right for you, love." Vincent says. "I'll support whichever decision you make. Okay?"

I nod and hear someone, my sister, shout, "CAT? YOU HERE?! WE'RE HOME!"

"In here!" I call out and she finds Vincent and me in the family room. "Where have you guys been?"

"Shopping. Where else?" she laughs. "Besides, get changed."

"What? Why?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Duh, we're all going out to dinner! Vincent can come too!" Heather sings as Mom and Dad enter the family room too.

"I…don't think that's a good idea…." I say but my father holds his hand up.

"Catherine, there will be none of that. Don't use your disease as an excuse to bail dinner with your family."

"Dad…it's not that…it's jus—" I say but Mom interrupts me.

"Sweetie, we're celebrating tonight. It's Aunt Stacy's birthday remember? We're meeting Aunt Stacy and her family at Le Benardin at 6 PM; so please hurry and get dressed!"

"I…I don't want to go." I say even though I really do want to wish my favorite aunt a happy birthday.

"Why not?" Mom asks.

"Because…I…I don't feel well." I lie.

"Are you sure?" Dad asks and I nod.

"Y-you guys have fun." I smile with sadness stretching across my face. "I'll see you guys when you get back."

"Well…okay…" Mom says and pulls my father and Heather out the door.

"What was that about?" Vincent asks. "Why didn't you want to go?"

"I…I don't…I just…think my aunt deserves a happy birthday…" I say as I tighten my hold around his torso. "She doesn't need me to ruin her birthday fun."

"Catherine, do you honestly think that?"

I nod. "If I were Aunt Stacy, I wouldn't want to be around my handicapped niece on my birthday."

"Are you sure that's what's going on, love? Or is it something more?"

He hit the mark; sometimes I hate it when he can read me like a book. "I…" I shake my head. "It's stupid, really."

"If it is causing you to act like this, it isn't. Talk to me, Catherine." Vincent whispers into my ear. "Tell me what's really going on."

"You promise you won't laugh?"

"I promise."

"Well…I…I feel like I'd be a disgrace…Fancy restaurants are for people who can walk; not for people like me."

"Says who?" he asks. "If a single restaurant denies you access, I'll sue them for discrimination!" Vincent states with confidence. "Come on…"

"Where're we going?" I ask him as he picks me up and carries me to my room.

"We have a dinner to attend. Don't worry about glances or what other people think; I'll be right beside you and if they want to say something, they'll deal with me first." Vincent replies and he pulls off my shirt and yanks off my jeans before he finds a decent outfit in my closet.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" he counters my question.

"What're you going to change to?"

"I guess we'll have to stop by a store, now, won't we?" Vincent smiles. "Unless you wouldn't mind me going in a pair of sport shorts and a tank top."

"I think my father would die from cardiac arrest if he would see you enter an exquisite restaurant looking like that." I say as he slowly slides a black skirt up my legs until it snugged onto my waist. Then he slips my arms through my dark green blouse and brings his lips to mine. "Can we go without the wheelchair?" I ask.

"If that's what you want." He replies and we leave for Le Bernardin to enjoy the evening with my family.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Cat! You and Vincent came!" Heather exclaims as she sees us slowly making our way to the table. "How did you manage to change your mind?"

"Let's just say I had a divine intervention." I say as Vincent helps me sit down in one of the two empty seats.

"Catherine! How are you doing?!" Aunt Stacy asks with a smile.

"I'm doing alright…I guess." I say.

"Catty!" Alexis, my youngest cousin, runs up and gives me a hug. "I missed yooooou!"

"Awww! I missed you too, Allie!" I return her hug and she climbs into my lap and pokes my cheek. "Mommy says you sick. You don't look sick!"

I couldn't help but smile at my cousin's 3-year-old innocence. If only I had to the heart to tell her what's really going on. "You know, Allie. Just because I saw you, today, I feel all better!"

"Reeeallly?!" she smiles very big. "I happy you better!" she kisses my cheek before hopping down to run back to her own seat. "Mommy! Catty says she better cuz of me!"

"Is that so?" Aunt Stacy smiles and mouths a thank you to me.

Suddenly, Andy (Andrea: 5 years), says to me, "Catty! You walk like penguin from zoo!"

My family freezes as they wait for my response so I smile. "Cute, right?!"

"Yaaaah!" all three cousins exclaim and I laugh. My parents and sister sigh in relief to my response and Vincent squeezes my hand.

"Catty?" Allie looks at me with her big, blue orbs of curiosity.

"What is it, sweetie?"

"Who's dat guy!?" she points to Vincent and I smile.

"Yes, Catherine," Aunt Stacy looks at me, "Who is that charming man sitting beside you?"

"Well, he's…" I lean against his shoulder and say, "He's my boyfriend."

"Oh!" Aunt Stacy exclaims. "Remind me to tell him some embarrassing stories about you later!"

"Ummm…no. I think I won't." I say and everyone laughs at my response.

"What's his name?" Billy asks.

"Vincent," the love of my life replies. "Vincent Keller."

"Wait," Uncle Richie (who finally returned from Afghanistan) states, "Keller…hmmm…do you have any relation to Michael and William Keller?"

"Y-yes…Y-you knew Mike and Will?" Vincent's eyes widen in surprise and so do mine.

"I was a part of their unit, Vincent. Their father was our battalion chief!" Uncle Richie says. "Are they cousins to you?"

"No…um…Mike and Will are…well…were my brothers…" Vincent says. "They died on September 11th."

"I know…I was there."

"You w-were?!" Vincent looks at Uncle Richie with hopeful eyes. "C-can you tell me something?"

"Anything. Your brothers were the best of the best. They saved over 50 lives on 9/11. I'll never forget the service they did for our country."

"Forgive me…but…um…could you tell if…if they suffered at all? I mean, do you know if they were in pain when they were killed?" Vincent asks but immediately says, "I'm sorry…that was incredibly rude of me to ask such a morbid thought at your wife's birthday dinner."

"No. It's quite all right." My aunt smiles. "I don't mind. Honestly." She looks to her husband and says, "Go ahead and answer the young lad."

I lace my fingers with Vincent's underneath the table and kiss his arm as my uncle gave my boyfriend his answer, "Son…I'm going to be as honest as I possibly can. Your brothers knew what they were getting into. I watched them re-enter the building as it started collapsing so, I don't think they regretted any decision they made. As far as whether or not they experienced pain, I don't know…I would like to think that they died instantly because, if anything, they didn't deserve painful deaths."

"Thank you for your honesty." Vincent replies. "I'm glad there are people who still remember them even after this many years."

"Vincent, if you ever want to talk about your brothers or just want to talk, my home is always open to you." Uncle Richie smiles. "Catherine can give you our address and my cell number later."

"Thank you, Uncle Richie." I say as Vincent kisses the top of my head. "I knew you were always my favorite uncle!"

"Hey now," Uncle Richie laughs, "I'm your only uncle, Catherine."

"That's why you're my favorite." I beam with happiness as the waiter starts handing out menus for everyone.

Maybe I am aloud happiness every once in a while.

Maybe.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: May 09, 2008**

Today is the last day of classes until finals next week so the day has been pretty chillaxed. Tess helps me down the stairs in the history building but to my surprise, she says she has to jet. We made up a week or so after the incident and made sure it didn't happen again. We tag teamed and made sure both were awake by the time we needed to leave for class so I wouldn't have to try and hurry my butt up those God-forbidden stairs.

"Where are you going?!" I ask as she starts running in the opposite direction of our dorm.

"I'm needed…for a thing…" she answers. "See ya later?"

"Yeah…sure…" I say suspiciously as I watch her run towards the auditorium. Suddenly, I notice a lot of students making their way to the auditorium. Hmmm…I wonder why.

"Catherine!" I hear Vincent call my name from behind me. "I got out of class early so I'm all yours for the rest of the day." he plops a kiss on my lips but notices I'm not really paying attention to him. "What're you looking at?" He turns his head to look in the same direction I am looking at but doesn't say anything.

"Vincent, do you know…what is going on there?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, I don't, love. You want to find out?"

"Yes." I say so he starts pushing me towards the auditorium even though we weren't 'invited' or 'notified' about a meeting. When we got there, we sit in the very back and I gasp as Dean Wilkerson starts talking.

"Students of Hudson University, I have a pressing issue I would like to discuss with you and would like your honest opinion. Raise your hand if you know Catherine Chandler."

I look around and almost everyone raises their hands.

"Would anyone of you like to come forth and tell the student body how you feel about Chandler's presence at our school?" As the first person walks up, I feel Vincent clenching his fists in anger.

"Umm…Hi…" Allison Davison from my history class starts speaking in the mic. "For those of you who…um…don't know me…I'm Allison Davison…Sophomore. I…um…I've known Catherine since the beginning of the year…and well, she's a sweet girl and all but…but she often disrupts class when she's late and is a constant drag when she causes the rest of us to be late too since she can barely walk up the stairs! In my…opinion…" she gulps, "I think Cat should not attend this school any longer."

"Thank you for your honesty, Allison. Anyone else?"

Joe, Tess's boyfriend walks up to the mic next. "Yeah…like Allison said…She cool and all but…well…she's a constant burden to my girl, Tess's life. Tess had to reschedule her classes to fit Cat's so she could help her. Even if Cat is handicapped, she needs to learn how to fend for herself. Relying on my girl is selfish and inconsiderate. Right Tess?!" Joe calls out and everyone looks towards my roommate's direction.

She stands up and shouts, "Look y'all! I know some of you are bothered by Cat's disease and wish life would just move on without her but think what she's going through! I'm not going to lie, but she sometimes does get on my nerves. But I also get on hers too! What's wrong with that? A little nerve damage isn't going to hurt anyone!" she covers her mouth as she realizes what she just said and then recovers from her little slip up. "Sorry, what I mean to say is: we all get on each other's backs and bitch at one another. It happens and we eventually get over it."

"But didn't Cat hurt you a few weeks ago?!" another student, Bobby Heralds, asks.

"Yes but I'm good as new! See? No injury attached! Cat may have injured me but it wasn't intentional! Look, we don't know what's going on in her head all of the time. She's stronger than all of us for tackling each day as it comes! Why don't we give her the benefit of the doubt?!"

"We have!" Susie Lemons screams in anger. "I don't give a shit what you say, Vargas! We have put up with Cat's disease long enough! Let a school that actually cares about her take over her problem!"

"YEAH!" more and more scream until they start chanting: "KICK CAT OUT! KICK CAT OUT! KICK CAT OUT!" over and over again.

My head starts spinning and I want to puke! Is this really what my peers think?! Have I really been that naïve from the start?! Without a word, I roll myself out of that damn auditorium but Vincent stays behind. I don't really care right now. I just want to be alone and cry my eyes out! Why am I always being punished like this?! Why?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**~Vincent's POV~**

As I hear all of these horrible statements about my girlfriend, I desperately want to march up there and throw punches at everyone! When they start chanting that God-awful chant, my ears start to burn. I see Catherine roll out of the auditorium as fast as she possibly can but something tells me to stay. I stand up, slowly walk to the front and wait for the next person on the mic to finish.

"Cat doesn't need a disability school! She needs prostitution!" Andrew Hilton shouts. "She screws with Vincent Keller every weekend and I'm sure she has other f***ers she squirts all over too!"

Okay that's it! No one talks about my girlfriend like that! NO ONE! I charge Andrew and slam a right hook into his nose before grabbing the mic from his hand. "ANY ONE OF YOU BASTARDS WHO HAS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND, SAY IT NOW!"

Silence.

"DON'T BE F***ING SHY! SAY IT TO MY DAMN FACE!"

Still no one says a single thing.

"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!" I shout with anger and calm myself down. "You guys are COWARDS! You have no problem speaking about Catherine behind her back but you can't have the decency to say it to hers or my face! What a bunch of shitholes! Let me tell you something! Up until that last comment, Catherine heard everything you guys were saying about her! She left, heartbroken! Let me say that again a little bit louder: SHE! LEFT! WITH! HER! HEART! BROKEN! INTO! A! THOUSAND! F***ING! PIECES!

"I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE AND I'LL SAY THIS AGAIN AND HOWEVER F***ING TIMES I NEED TO UNTIL YOUR BRAINS PROCESS MY THREAT! IF ANY OF YOU SAY A DAMN THING ABOUT MY CATHERINE AND I FIND OUT ABOUT IT? YOU WILL BE FOR A WORLD OF HURT!

"How dare you! ALL OF YOU! How dare you think it's okay to speak like that about her! Let me tell you something about Catherine! She is amazing! She struggles to get through every single day because of your damn stares! She cries and worries about her future but she continues to fight her disease! I am crazy in love with that woman and I worship everything about her! Maybe you should stop staring for once and start actually getting to know her! You'll see just how beautifully wonderful of a person she truly is!"

With that, I punch the microphone back into Andrew's stomach and run off to comfort my angel. She didn't deserve any of that! And I'll be damned if I let a single person get away with it ever again!

I find her on the floor of her dorm, crying her eyes out. She must have fallen as she tried getting to her bed from her wheelchair. I pull her in for a hug but there's nothing I can say! How can I tell her everything will be all right after what she's heard? How can I tell her everything will be okay when we both know it won't be?! How?!

"Say something!" she pounds her fists against my chest. "SAY ANYTHING DAMMIT!"

She pulls away from my hold and looks up at me. So I say the one thing that's true. "I can't do anything…Those people…talking so shamelessly, I'm no different! I know about your disease, Catherine, yet I'm always watching from the sidelines! I watch you cry and watch you drown in the world around you but I'm never able to reach you! I can't do anything, dammit! I can't cure your disease! I can't heal your pain! I can't even be there when you need my help to walk to class! All I can do is say what I think…even if I can't protect you from those bastards!"

She reaches for me and leans her head against my torso. "That's not it at all, Vincent…You're always encouraging me; you listen to me when I say things I can't say to others. As I face this disease, you're the only one able to make me truly smile even when my heart is breaking! You're by my side, Vincent, when I'm depressed…just like now. You're always keeping me company when others purposely walk away." She reaches for my face and caresses it with her weak fingers. "Thank you, Vincent. You really are my angel."

I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me so she can't ever escape from me as I cry along with her. I'm so pathetic! Horribly pathetic and I've been so blind to everything around me! What can I do to protect this woman from her insecurities? Hell, what can I do to protect her from her disease?

We cry for hours until she finally falls asleep in my arms. I place her on her bed and saw her diary opened on the floor. I pick it up and am about to close it until I see a tear smudge on the page. I couldn't help but read it.

_Dear Diary, 05/09/2008__**,**_

_WHY DID __**THIS HAP**__PEN TO ME!? WHY! I HA__**TE EV**__**E**__RYTHING ABOUT __**MY L**__**I**__FE AND NOTHING CA__**N **__**CHAN**__GE THAT! NOT __**EVEN G**__OD!_

_CAT__**HERI**__NE_

I close her diary and place it in her drawer before joining her in bed. If only I had the strength to protect her and save her from this horrible destiny! I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me as she shifts her weight until she's comfortable. All I can do right now is continue to be with her and help her keep moving forward but is that enough? Is that really enough?

**Beauty and the Beast**

_In the past, when I wanted to hurry, I could. Now, even if I want to hurry, I can't. I'm afraid that in the future I may even lost all sense of hurry. Oh God, why did you give me this burden? No, I suppose everyone has some kind of burden. But why is it only me that has to be miserable?_

_~Aya Kitou~_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**NOTES: **

**The NYSD is MADE UP! :)**

**The underlining in her diary was supposed to represent the tear drops. **

**I know this had quite a few time lapses but I wanted to move the time along quite a bit so a lot happened in this chapter. **

**READ AND REVIEW PLEEEEEASE! Let me know if you want more! :)**


	15. Like a Boat Pushing through a Current

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Fourteen: Like a Boat Pushing Through a Current**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: May 09, 2008**

**~Vincent's POV~**

I wake up sometime close to 8 PM and see Catherine still sleeping in my arms. Hundreds of questions fill my mind as I observe her sleeping. Will she be okay? How will she react when she wakes up? How many more tears must she cry because of this horrible disease? I hate thinking like this but what else is there to do? She is slowly slipping away from me and all I can do is watch her suffer. Despite what she says, I feel incredibly useless around her.

"Vin..cent…" she mutters in her sleep before mumbling, "Don't…ever…leave….me…" I caress her arm and kiss her temple to wake her up.

"Hey…" I whisper. "Wake up, love."

She stirs in her sleep for a moment longer before opening her puffy eyes and leaning into me. She drapes her arm across my chest and murmurs, "I'm such an idiot."

I envelop her into an embrace and say, "No, love, you're not."

"Then why…why didn't I see this coming? Why am I the only one who didn't know how everybody else was feeling? I mean…I know…I know I am burdensome at times and I rely a lot on other people but…why do I feel like I am everybody's problem? Vincent…I just…I feel so stupid and ashamed of myself.

"I don't even think I can face them again…Not after what happened today…" she starts crying. "I never want anything to do with this place again! I hate it, Vincent! I hate everything about Hudson University! I want all of them to suffer in Hell for the rest of their miserable lives!" Suddenly, she gasps and covers her mouth. "I…I didn't mean that…Honestly …"

"I know you didn't, Catherine. You were just…upset." I reply. "Sometimes, when we're upset, we say things we don't really mean."

"What's happening to me, Vincent? I'm just like them…" she starts breathing heavily as she sits up to hug herself. I wrap my arms around her and continue to listen to her thoughts, "I never…. I never ever want to wish harm on anyone…no matter who they are…"

"I know, baby, I know." I rock her back and forth and try to hush her. "I know…"

"Why me, Vincent? Why me?"

"I think…no…I believe you have a purpose. I don't know what it is yet but I know it's there. You and I know that you're road ahead is filled with many trials but…I believe you'll be able to get through with them one way or another. You have a strong heart, love…and your strength will help guide you through everything."

"But what if I'm not strong enough?"

"You are, Catherine. You are." I smile.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I believe God wouldn't give you this disease if He didn't think you were strong enough to handle the consequences that come with it." I say to her before kissing the top of her head. She leans against me and eventually falls asleep once more and I hold her in my arms to assure her I'm here for her in every way possible. I may not be able to cure her disease but…I can certainly try to heal her broken heart.

**~Catherine's POV~**

_I remember crying…crying a lot last night. Something…Something horrible happened but I can't remember what!_

"_Caaaat! You like need to wake up!" I hear my best friend, Sally, say as she lightly shakes my shoulder. "It's time."_

_I open my eyes and see her grinning very bubbly this morning. "Time for what?" I ask. _

"_Time for the funeral… Everyone is waiting for you."_

"_W-who's funeral?"_

"_Don't you remember what happened last night?" she asks and I shake my head. _

"_Everything is a big blur." I say._

"_Are you sure you don't remember?" _

"_W-why are you so blotchy and blistery, Sally?" I ask her as the light from the window hits her body. "Why do you look so… so…?" I can't find the words for it but she looks…dead…_

"_Let me show you." She smirks as my room suddenly isn't my room anymore. _

"_That's your car…" I say as I see Sally's car sitting on the side of the road. Suddenly, I hear tires screech against the street and before I could move a step towards her car, I am flung into the air as a huge semi crashes into Sally's car. _

"_Oh my God!" I shriek and cover my mouth. _

"_YOU DID THIS!" a voice screams at me from behind. "YOU KILLED ME!" _

"_No! I didn't know!" _

"_YOU LEFT ME OUT THERE TO DIE!" Sally's battered and broken body advances towards me. I try to run but my body is stuck! I can't move! She squeezes my shoulders and I can feel every second of her pain; the burning of her skin, the brokenness of her body and…and…betrayal. _

_I cry in agony. "Please stop!" _

"_Why?!" she scoffs. "So you can run home to your Vincent?" She squeezes me harder and the pain worsens. _

"_WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?" I scream in pain. "WHY!?"_

_She lifts me off the ground and her voice deepens into a dark, demonic tone. "I WANT YOU TO SUFFER!" I feel my body being thrown from the air and feel a sharp pain emanating from the back of my head and I black out. _

_When I come to…everything is foggy and misty out. Sally is nowhere to be found. I can still feel the burns on my skin as if they happened seconds ago. I pat my hands on the ground below me and feel train tracks underneath my body. Why did I come here?_

"_Look at her! She's so pathetic!" a voice chaffs from above me. "She should die!" _

_What are they talking about?_

"_Stupid Chandler. She's such a fugging whore."_

_Why are they talking about me like this? What did I do? _

_I walk towards their voices but their sounds are muffled by a train whistle. I look behind me and see a subway train coming towards me! "HELP ME!" I scream but amongst the sound of the whistle, I hear hundreds of people laughing at me. It's like this whole place is their TV and I'm a part of a 'One Saturday Morning' series. I try to run but my legs and arms start pounding with pain. I feel as heavy as iron! "HELP!" _

_No one listens to me so I try and command myself to move. "MOVE! DAMMIT! MOVE!" _

_My throat starts burning and I can't scream any more. I can't call for help anymore! All I can do is panic and mentally scream at myself. 'Come on! Move! Move!' I start crying as I try to budge! The train whistle is louder than ever and I glance towards its direction before the last thing I hear is a blood curdling scream. _

Almost instantly, I spring forward from a puddle of sweat as I hear my own piercing scream filling the room. In seconds, my breathing escalates and I place my hand over my heart to feel my heart beating a thousand miles per second. I look around and try to find Vincent but he's not around. "Vincent!" I call out but immediately grab my neck as a burning sensation soars into my throat.

I stumble out of the bed and the door pops open as I hear my name being called. A pair of strong arms picks me up and carries me to my bed. I pat his chest to make sure he's real and not some illusion before I wrap my arms around him and hold him as tightly as I can. I don't know if he knows what's going on but he engulfs me in his embrace and kisses the top of my head.

It doesn't take long before I'm sobbing in his arms and crying out incoherently.

"I'm here…" he whispers. "I'm here." He holds me for minutes until he finally asks, "What happened, love?"

"It was horrible!" I exclaim as tears stream down my face. "I…w-was…was in my bedroom….and…and…s-she a-appeared…Sally…she blamed m-me for e-everything! And…then…then…" I swallow a large lump in my throat before my shaking voice continues sputtering out my nightmare. "I…f-f-felt everything…her pain…her broken bones…her death! I thought I was going to die from the pain!" I start shivering and hyperventilating as I remember the horrible feeling that surged within my body.

"Catherine!" Vincent calls out my name. He tries to shake me out of my shock but no matter what he says, I can't understand him. His words are a jumbled mess so I continue telling him what happened.

"I c-couldn't move….The train was coming and…and everyone was laughing…they wanted me…they wanted me to die…I was so scared and helpless! I couldn't…I didn't have enough strength to move out of the way…and…and…"

He pulls me into a strong hug and wakes me from my illusion and hushes me a million times until I am finally calm again. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean for you to relive it." He starts rocking me back and forth but doesn't force anything more out of me. He just holds me and lets me know I'm safe; that he's not going anywhere.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: May 15, 2008**

**~Vincent's POV~**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask my girlfriend as I push her towards the auditorium. "Especially after what happened last Friday?"

"You were the one who said I have a strong heart, Vincent. Are you having second opinions?" she raises her eyebrow with a smirk as I shake my head. I'm glad she's feeling a lot better. I've missed her smile.

"I wasn't questioning your decision, love. I guess…the right phrase should have been: Are you READY to do this?"

"In that case…not at all. I'm nervous as hell but I think it's something I must do…Everyone…no matter what they've said last week…deserves to know the truth. That way…at least…they won't have to base their information off of rumors. Part of me thinks this is a horrible idea but the other part thinks they at least deserve an explanation. So…that's why you're here…I need you to watch from the side of the stage to give me support. I don't think I can do this if I don't know where you are."

"I understand." I smile. "So…afterwards…do you want to celebrate your last moments at Hudson U by going to Inwood Hill Park as a date?"

"That sounds nice." She grins. "Now, come on. Let's go. I don't want to keep them all waiting."

"All right. Let's get the show on the road." I state as I push her wheelchair a little bit faster to get to the auditorium on time.

**~Catherine's POV~**

"I'm sure all of you are wondering why you are here today but a student has requested to give a speech to the student body of Hudson University. I hope you give her your undivided attention and warmly welcome her to the stage. Miss Catherine Chandler." Dean Wilkerson says before walking away from the microphone on the podium.

After Vincent helps me walk out onto the stage towards the podium, I place my hands on the flat surface to support my weight as I catch my breath. He starts to walk off the stage but I grab ahold of his hand, and I almost fall over. I hear people gasp in the background but he easily catches me and whispers, "I'll stand right behind you, okay. So, if you start to fall, I'll be here

"Thanks." I mouth before I turn to the audience. Suddenly, I'm not sure if giving this speech is the right thing to do… The auditorium looks a lot bigger up here than from out there. "Ummm…" I mutter into the microphone as Vincent squeezes my hand and smiles.

I look at him one last time as he says, "You can do it, love."

With his vote of confidence, I nod my head and lean towards the microphone once again. "Hi everybody…"

Silence.

"So…um…. Like Dean Wilkerson said…I…I wanted to say something to all of you. …So…um…" My voice shakes before I swallow a hard lump in my throat. "Here…here it goes…." I gather my nerves together and feel Vincent wrap his arms around my waist to give me encouragement. "So…we all know what happened last Friday and…well…I just…I just want set a few things straight before the school year finishes."

"The school year has finished, dumbass!" a student shouts but another student responds, "Quiet Bobby!"

I wait for silence to return to the auditorium before continuing with my nerve-wracking speech. "Last…September 14th, I was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degenerative Disease…. One day…I won't be able to walk…write…or speak…. It's a disease that affects…the nerves in such a way that it's irreversible." I pause for a moment and lick my lips to give me some time to gather my thoughts. "With each passing day, I get worse and there's nothing I can do to stop it. With the technology the doctors currently have…my disease…my disease…c-cannot be treated…and…one day…it will take my life.

Dead Silence.

Good. I have their attention. I feel like I have gained more confidence since everyone seems to actually be listening to me.

"Every morning is a struggle…I can't even get out of bed anymore without falling down. I still am able to walk some but…let's just say…"

I pause to laugh a little before I complete my thought.

"…a snail could probably beat me in a 2 yard dash." I hear some people chuckle at my lame joke so that's good. The audience is alive at least. "The progression of my disease…is much faster than my doctor ever anticipated. Normally, Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease is a slow-growing disease but, for some reason, my rate is progressing more than the average person with my disease." I shift my feet a little because I'm starting to get tired so Vincent shifts his weight too to compensate mine.

"The things…I could do in August…are slowly disappearing as each month passes; I can't even write with a damn mechanical pencil anymore. It's the little things, you know? Despite all of this, I have learned to appreciate the things I CAN still do even if the tasks are difficult.

"I still have trouble accepting my fate because there are so many things I want…but can't have. You can't even imagine how many times I've cried over the silliest of things. Every day, there is something different to cry about. I would constantly worry about my future because, as far as I could see, I didn't have one. Everything I dreamt of doing was gone…just like a snap of the fingers. Gone.

"Believe it or not, this disease has definitely put a toll on my relationship with Vincent. There will be a day when…intimacy…will start becoming a memory. I won't even be able to have my own baby…my body would never be able to carry a child to full term. And…for some reason beyond my belief, Vincent…has chosen to stay by my side despite everything." I turn to look at Vincent and smile at him because I am so grateful for everything he has done for me. I cannot fathom what life would be like if I had never met him. I turn back to the microphone, and breathe a heavy sigh before I continue.

"All of these things…these dreams I once had…of having a career…a family…a long life…were a part of the old Catherine Chandler. The new Catherine Chandler, however, has a new set of dreams: she wants to finally be able to look at herself in the mirror and say she's beautiful. She wants to cherish every living moment she has with her family and friends because time is limited. She wants to be able to accept everything about her disease no matter how hard it gets. These are my new goals and…with the help of my family…and my friends…and my Vincent…I hope to accomplish all of them one day." I take a moment to gather my thoughts because once the next part of my speech is said, I cannot unsay it.

"That's why…That's why I've chosen to transfer to another school…a school that's fit for my needs. This school, however, does not continue education…it focuses on projects students work on throughout the years and helps the students feel like they belong somewhere. Even though I'll be…in a different environment…with this path I have chosen…I hope I will be able to reach my goals and find that light I've been searching for."

I can feel tears falling from my eyes but I won't break down and cry. I have to smile because I need to start the new chapter in my life positively. I inhale a deep breath and exhale before saying the last part of my speech.

"To…to be able to smile…and tell all of you this…I have…at least…cried…one litre of tears…. Therefore…even though…I will be leaving Hudson University…I…" I flash a sad smile to the audience and take a deep breath. "I…believe friendships…I have developed here won't go away…. Everyone…up until now," Suddenly a wave of emotion sweeps over me and I start to cry even though I didn't want to. I unbuckle Vincent's hands from my waist and walk closer to the audience. Since I don't have a microphone near me, I decide to shout the rest of my speech. "…Everyone…has…been so nice to me."

Despite what happened last week, I still am grateful for the help of my peers even if the appreciation is one-sided.

"…Thank you…so much…for…everything." I say as I grab ahold of Vincent's arm and take a bow. "I am eternally grateful. As a present to your helpfulness, I promise…I will move on ahead and fight my trials…I will fight them just as hard as a boat pushes against a current. And I swear I won't give up!"

With nothing else to say, I start walking away from the stage with Vincent's help. However, someone calls out my name from the audience so I stop leaving. I turn around and see Dr. Andrews, my former choir teacher, standing up. Then, fellow students from the choir class also join him in standing.

I stare at them with confusion before Dr. Andrews opens his mouth to speak.

_"Nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de…_  
_Futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu…"_

To my surprise, some of the students standing join him.

_"Sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni…_  
_Watashi to anata de yume wo egaku…"_

As the rest of the choir class stands up and joins in, I hear Vincent also singing the song into my ear.

_"Sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete…_  
_Sakura no tsubomi wa haru he to tsudzukimasu…_

_"Afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga …_  
_Sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu..._  
_Ookina akubi wo shita ato ni…_  
_Sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de…"_

One by one, more and more students stand up along with my former choir class. Even though they aren't singing, I have no words to describe my feelings right now. It's like…Hudson University…is a different school. As I listen to them singing, I cannot help but think about my past…and how I became the me I am today. So much has happened in my life during the past nine months…and…even though I've had my ups and downs…I know…I can get through this…one day at a time.

_"Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga…_  
_Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de…_  
_Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou…_  
_Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai…"_

I cannot help but turn my head towards Vincent's chest and start crying. He wraps his arms around me and holds me as I hear his as well as the voices of my former classmates fill the auditorium.

_"Hitomi wo tojireba anata ga…_  
_Mabuta no ura ni iru koto de…_  
_Dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou…_  
_Anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai…"_

Once they finish singing, I regain the courage to look towards them. Everyone in the entire auditorium is holding hands and I can hear them crying. I don't think I've ever seen such an overwhelming scene in my life; I never expected this kind of response.

I slowly walk back up to the podium and wipe my eyes. "Everyone…!" The audience looks up at me as they wait for me to continue. I smile at them as tears continue to flow down my cheeks and wave. "Bye…"

I turn away from them so they wouldn't be able to see my tears as I walk back to Vincent. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and tugs me to his side. Without looking back, we slowly walk away from the stage and head for my wheelchair. After Vincent helps me sit back inside it, he pushes me down the hallway and out of the auditorium. This will be the last time I will ever be a student at Hudson University…and the first time I set foot into my new future…my new fate.

"You know…" I start to say as we head for the subway station.

"What, my love?"

"I've come to realize something, Vincent…It's…okay to fall down. Wanna know why?"

"Why?" he asks before kissing the top of my head.

"Because I always have someone to help me back up." I smile widely as I look at the clouds. Yeah…Why should falling down be such a bad thing? As long as we have a lot of support, standing back up should be no problem.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_What's wrong with falling down?_

_You can always stand up again. _

_~Aya Ikeuchi from "One Litre of Tears" Episode 8~_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**Sorry for the long wait! I was struggling with how to write this chapter since the last one was soooo intense so I wanted to spend a little extra time on this one. **

**I'm not sure how you guys will like this chapter but I think it has a bit of a happy tears side to it! ^_^ **

**Brace yourselves for the next chapter… there will be some rocky roads ahead for Vincent and Catherine. Let's just hope love conquers all, right?**

**Until next time! :)**

**OH! Please let me know what you thought of the dream scene…I tried my best but I would really love some feedback! ^_^ **


	16. Even When I'm Sad, I Long for Happiness

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Fifteen: Even when I'm Sad, I long for Happiness**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: June 20, 2008**

"Where are we going?" I laugh as Dad pushes my wheelchair down the street of New York City.

"You'll see." Even though I can't see him smiling, I can tell he's excited. I don't know why but something must be good if he's this cheery.

"Honey," I hear Mom say from behind us, "Heather is wearing pumps. We need to slow down or she'll break a shoe if she tries to run."

"Serves her right." Dad laughs. "I told her we were going on a family outing that would require comfortable shoes; it's not my fault if she doesn't listen to me."

"Dad," I say, "You didn't honestly believe Heather would actually wear walking shoes in public, did you?"

"Why not? Mine aren't too bad."

"Dad, your shoes are black leather Clarks. You're basically wearing tennis shoes in disguise."

"So?" Dad says. "I'm sure Heather has a nice pair of walking shoes in her closet."

"Tom, honey. When it comes to Heather and walking shoes, it's purely psychological. It's not that she won't wear them; it's that she CAN'T wear them." Mom replies. "Now, please slow down or your daughter will break her ankle while trying to catch up to us."

"Fine…if I must." Dad laughs. Some people see my father as a strict man but that's because they don't know him like I do. Sure, at work, he's very professional but at home, he's loving, caring and quite a jokester. It's nice when we all get to do things like this; just the four of us. I would have loved to have Vincent here too but he's working his butt off at his summer job as an accompanist for Camp Broadway. He needs to save up the money for graduate school on top of paying back all of his loans. Such is the life of a college graduate.

On a side note, Vincent received his diploma and graduated from Hudson University with flying colors (well, actually with Summa Cum Laude colors). The university was even kind enough to let him push me down the aisle too since I'm also leaving Hudson U for another school. I may not be graduating but I guess letting me 'walk' the aisle was the school's way of apologizing for…that one day I'd like to never remember for as long as I live. I even received a di-faux-ma (it was more like a certificate congratulating me for my efforts). Oh! Let's not forget about the standing ovation! I'm not really sure where that came from but as Dean Wilkerson shook my hand, people started standing and cheering. Maybe they were afraid not to…Who knows? Who really cares?

Anyways, I still continue my therapy but now I do it twice a week instead of once. Good news: my progression hasn't seemed to be moving very rapid lately. Bad news: I'm becoming more reliant on my family now that summer is here. I hate depending on them; especially when they really don't have the time to help me out. I've become such a burden for my family but that's why I'm going to try my best and do all that I can for myself.

I am a Chandler after all.

"Caaaat." I shake my head when I hear my sister's voice.

"What?"

"Stop being so spacey. You'll kill brain cells that way." Heather says as she purposely latches her arm around Mom's so Dad can't purposely start walking faster than pump-style walking.

"Since when do you know a thing or two about brain cells?" Dad asks with a goofy grin. "Last time I checked your report card, you were failing biology."

"Well, whatever. I just know spac-i-ness equals brain craziness…or was it laziness…? You know what? We did not decide to go on this outing to talk about anomalies."

"Anatomy." Mom, Dad and I say in unison.

"Fine! Anatomy! Yeeesh!" Heather rolls up her eyes. "You guys knew what I meant so why bother correcting me?"

"Heather, dear," Mom states, "This is why I never expected you to follow in my footsteps. I think you'll do far better in the field of fashion."

Dad and I laugh while Heather rolls her eyes. "Sure…laugh all you want. We'll see who rises on top in the end."

It's times like these why I love hanging out with my family. We certainly have our differences but no matter what is said, we all end up laughing in the end…for the most part. Heck, I even forget about my illness every once in a while.

"Here we are." Mom smiles as Dad stops rolling the wheelchair as we're still laughing. "Pets on Lex."

"What are we doing here?" Heather asks. "We don't have a dog…or a cat…well if you don't count the laughing retard in the chair over there…"

"Heather!" Dad shoots her a warning look. "That was uncalled for! Apologize to your sister!"

"No. It's all right Dad." I say as I smirk at my sister. "Heather doesn't need to apologize for being herself. She's a sassy ass so let her flaunt it."

"Gee…thanks…" Heather rolls her eyes and pushes my shoulder a little. "I'm glad I feel so appreciated." Sarcasm. Lots of sarcasm.

"Not a problem, younger sis." I say right before Dad cuts in.

"Okay, ladies. Enough bantering. Yes, Heather, you're correct. We don't have any pets. However, for years, Catherine has been asking for a dog since she was really small and your mother and I finally have decided to grant her wish."

"Really?!" My eyes widen. "This isn't a joke, right?"

"Of course not, sweetie." Mom smiles. "We thought you could use someone to play with during your summer."

"You do realize I won't be able to take care of a puppy, right?"

"Don't worry about it, Catherine. I'm sure Heather wouldn't mind helping out! Plus, your mother and I can also pitch in every once in a while."

"That's kind of you, really, but…Dad, you and Mom work literally 24/7 and Heather has school in the fall. I can't bring a puppy to my new school so who will take care of him then? The invisible dog-sitter you guys plan on hiring?"

"Precisely." Mom and Dad say in unison.

"Woah! Wait a minute!" Heather exclaims. "First of all, I hate dogs! They're smelly, gross and are high-maintenance creatures of doom! Second, don't I get a say in this?! You know, the second child!? The favorite? The other progeny who lives in the Chandler house?! I mean, Cat's right, no one would be able to take care of the evil, furry rodent! The thing will grow hungr—"

"Heather, calm down." Dad holds his hand up to stop Heather's ongoing rant. "I was joking when I said you were going to help. However, your mother and I have discussed it and if need be, I will move my office back into the den where it used to be if we can't hire someone to take care of the dog. We'll figure out the details later, okay?"

I never thought I'd see the day when my parents would actually cave in and let me have my own dog! "Are you serious, Mom? Dad? Is this really happening?!"

Mom and Dad smile at one another before nodding their heads. Heather simply rolls her eyes and mutters something like: Cats shouldn't be allowed to own dogs. I couldn't help but laugh at her statement as I say, "You know, sis, dogs and babies aren't too different. They both have essential needs and babies are smelly, gross at times and high-maintenance creatures of doom too."

"Whateverrrr." Heather flips her hand at me as if she's turned me into a brick wall and walks into the store.

"I thought you hate dogs." Mom says.

Heather shrugs her shoulders. "These animals are in cages. They're not so bad when admired from afar."

"Oh Heather. You sure are something else." Dad shakes his head and laughs. "You ready to go in, Catherine?"

"C-can I walk in there? Please?!" I ask excitedly. I don't remember the last time I acted like a ten-year-old. Maybe it was when Dad took me to a dealership to buy me my first car.

"Sure but be careful, okay?" Mom says and I mentally leap for joy as I carefully step out of the wheelchair. Dad opens the door for me and I slowly walk inside to explore a new world: a pet store.

I look at all of the different puppies in the store and, if it I had it my way, I would ask Mom and Dad to buy all of them but since I can't, I have to choose wisely. The store has dog breeds from Yorkshire Terriers to French Bulldogs to Golden Retrievers. I slowly walk along the row of cages (as if I have a choice) and look at each yearning puppy. Every dog I see melts my heart and I wish I could take all of them home with me. I finally arrive at the last cage and my heart literally stops.

A small, yellow Labrador Retriever puppy sees me the moment I see him and he immediately wags his tail as he stands up and hobbles his way to the caged door.

"Awww…what's wrong with your leg, little guy?" I ask the puppy in a baby voice. He barks happily and starts licking my fingers as I place my hand on the cage.

"Ma'am." An older male worker says as he approaches me. "Keep yer hands away from th'cage."

"Oh…sorry…" I sadly remove my hand from the cage before I say, "Ummmm…is it possible I can hold this little one?"

"He ain't fer sale."

"Why not?"

"Cuz he has'm a bad leg. We put'm on display so h'wouldn't yelp in th'kennels. Th'pooch is t'be put down t'night."

"What?! Why?"

"I told yeh, miss, he has'm a bad leg."

"So? Just because he has a bad leg doesn't mean he's defective. He's lucky he has three other legs to walk on."

"His breed's fer huntin.' Since th'runt can't hunt…"

"Do I look like I'm looking for a hunting dog?" I ask in disbelief. "This little guy needs a home and I'm willing to give one to him!"

"No offense, lady," the man says, "But y'don't look like yer th'dog ownin' type. 'Specially since yeh got yerself in one heck of a bind." He points to the attachable weights on my ankles. "Get somethin' other than a dog; somethin' that don't require nothin' much."

"No!" I exclaim, causing my father and mother to rush over to me. "I want this one!"

"Catherine, what seems to be the problem?" Dad asks while Mom helps me sit down in my chair.

"This worker says this yellow lab isn't for sale…He mentioned something about killing the puppy since he has a limp." I state. "Even after I've said I wanted him, I'm told I can't have him."

"Why on Earth not?" Mom asks the worker.

"Like I said, she ain't fittin' fer takin' care'f one. She needs ter b'lookin' fer fish er somethin' more suitin' t'her condition." He says.

"Excuse me, sir." Dad places his hands on his hips and leans over the man as if he's trying to knock him down with the Force. "My daughter is perfectly capable of owning a dog. If she wants this yellow Labrador, than you better give it to her!"

"What yeh gonna do about it if I don't wanna sell the pup?"

"I'll sue this place and believe me; you DON'T want that to happen." Dad threatens the man.

"Jebediah, go back upstairs!" another Southern worker shouts.

Jebediah saunters down the hall without a word as that same woman comes up to my father and asks, "Sir, is Jebediah bothering you?"

"As a matter of fact, he is! He claims the puppy my eldest daughter wants is not for sale!"

"Mr…"

"Chandler." Dad says in a firm voice.

"Mr. Chandler, I do apologize for Jebediah's behavior. You see, he's my younger brother and suffers from memory loss. Despite what you may think, he still thinks it is September of last year and that's why he's telling you the puppy you want is not for sale. Before Jebediah's accident, there was another yellow Labrador puppy with a limp on the same leg. However, unbeknownst to Jebediah, the puppy from before also was a very sick puppy. Since I didn't want the little guy to suffer, I authorized its termination and sent my brother to get the job done. Jebediah was on his way to the clinic when another car rammed into his vehicle, killing the puppy immediately and jeopardizing Jeb's life. Every morning, he's reminded of his condition but sometimes…when a Labrador retriever, he tends to forget about his situation. Please don't be hard on him."

"I'm sorry for his loss." Dad says. "Forgive me for my rudeness."

"All is forgiven." The woman smiles. "Now, how about I get you your puppy, young miss." She says and unlocks the puppy's cage. She picks him up and he squirms in her hands before she gives him to me. I hold him under his arms and let his feet dangle in the air as I admire his beauty. I bring him closer to my face and he starts licking it crazily, causing me to laugh.

"I think this one likes you, Catherine." Mom says as Dad follows Jebediah's sister to the cash register.

"It tickles!" I giggle. I move my face in circles to try and avoid his licking attacks. However, he's way too excited to stop licking me.

"Mom, since Cat is getting a dog, can I get a hamster? I promise I'll take really good care of it! Besides, it's mostly in a cage all day so it's not like you have to worry about it pooping all over the house." Heather says as she tries to convince Mom in letting her have a pet too.

"Honey…this place only sells cats and dogs." Mom says but when she sees Heather's defeated look, she sighs. "But, I'm sure your father wouldn't mind if we stop by Petco on the way home."

"Really!? Yay!" Heather hugs Mom and hurries to tell Dad the news.

"It's good that you caved in." I say as Mom starts pushing me towards the cashier's counter.

"Why's that?"

"Because if you didn't let her get a pet too, she would hold it over you for life. And with Heather, that's not something you want to happen." I laugh as the puppy presses his little paw on my tummy. He barks and sniffs my shirt as he waggles his tiny tail. I definitely could get used to this! I sure can't wait for Vincent to meet this little guy!

**Beauty and the Beast**

We finally arrive home by 3 PM and I am exhausted. After we finished up our shopping, we took my new puppy to Central Park so I can play with him some. There might not be much I can do when it comes to chasing him or tossing him a ball but I feel like he understands me already; somehow, he knows I can't move well and he's constantly by my side. I definitely picked the right puppy!

Now, I'm lying down on my bed with my new friend sleeping next to me. I still haven't given him a name yet but I hope to think of one soon. I have a few ideas but I'd like to run them by Vincent and see what he thinks.

"Catherine," Mom says softly as she opens up my makeshift door and walks inside. "How are you feeling?"

"A little tired." I yawn. "But it's worth it."

"I just wanted to let you know that your friend, Tess, is here…I told her I would see if you were up to talking."

"Sure…I may be tired but I'm not brain dead. I'll be there in a second."

"All right. Be careful."

"Thanks…I will." I say as I slowly slide off of the bed. I grab onto my bed's rails and support myself as I sit into my wheelchair. Mom starts to push me into the family room when we hear a little bark coming from behind us. Mom laughs and turns around to pick him up before she places him in my arms.

He rests his head on my elbow and doesn't make a sound. I'm sure he's pooped too; I certainly am.

"Hey girl!" Tess exclaims as she rushes up to hug me.

"Hey." I smile.

"I'm sorry it's been so long since we've seen each other…I've been super busy with my summer job but the boss was lousy so I quit about a week ago. Got a new job closer to this area of New York City so that's why I'm here! I thought I'd stop by and catch up. You cool with that?"

"Yeah." I say. "We can talk in my room if you want…or the backyard…"

"How about here?" she asks and I nod.

"Here's good too." I laugh as Tess takes a seat on our sofa. "So…how's Joe?"

"We…we broke up…about a week or so after school ended." She says solemnly.

"Oh…I'm so sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. He was cute but our romance certainly wasn't a Cinderella story. I told him I wanted to invite you to my birthday party but…he didn't think it was a good idea. I confronted him about his reasons and they weren't good enough, you know? So…he gave me an ultimatum."

"What…what was it?" I gulp. I kinda think I already know what it is.

"He told me I had to choose him or you…so when it came down to it, I chose you, Cat. I know you might think I'm crazy for choosing someone I've only known for a year, but I decided I didn't douchebags like him in my life; especially the kinds who tries to make me pick him over my best friend. That's ludicrous!"

"Yeah…I guess." I say but she frowns.

"You think I should have chosen him?!"

"Tess," I sigh, "I'm flattered, really, but…you love Joe."

"At one time, yeah…maybe…but the next day, I thought I should really see what's wrong with him but when I went to find him, he was literally stuffing his balls down this chick's mouth…it certainly was a horror story. So…I kinda asked around and found definitive answers stating that he's been cheating on me for almost six months."

"I'm incredibly sorry, Tess. That has to be awful."

"At first, I was tempted to walk in there and take a picture but in the end, I decided against it and waited until the right time to kick his balls to the Moon."

"Did you get to do that?"

"Nah but I kicked them hard enough to knock him out cold. It was quite entertaining." She smirks. "Now that he's out of my life, I've decided to take a break from romantic relationships; they're such a pain at times. Hell, I think I'll even go on a sex diet indefinitely."

I wonder how long that'll last…

"By the way, who is the little scruff-ball sleeping in your arms?"

"Oh! He's my new puppy!"

"I can see that." She laughs. "I mean, what is his name?"

"Oh. Ummmm….I haven't named him yet; I'm going to wait until Vincent comes by to meet him." I say as I pet the little guy's head. "He's cute, isn't he?"

"Can I hold him?" Tess asks and I nod.

"Yes but you need to be careful with his right hind leg. It's permanently damaged so he has a limp. Tomorrow, Mom and I are going to take him to the vet to see if there's some medicine he can take to help him walk normally."

"What happened to him?" she asks as she takes the puppy from my arms and caresses him in hers.

"I'm not sure…I think the breeder said he was born like this…so it could be some kind of mutation or something."

"Ah…I see." Tess nods.

We spend almost an hour catching up on things and telling each other funny stories. By 5:30 PM, she had to leave for another engagement so we said our farewells; I hope she comes by again. I miss talking to her.

"It seems like you two are great friends." Mom says with a smile as she passes the family room. "I was beginning to wonder whether or not you talk to other people besides your boyfriend and family."

"Tess and I…had a few rough spots here and there but I think we're finally on good terms." I say. "By the way, could you," I pick up the fluff ball from my lap and hold him up as best as I could, "take him outside to go tinkle?"

"Sure." Mom nods and takes my puppy from my hands before disappearing from sight.

Just as I am about to go back to my room to take a much needed nap, a pair of hands cover my eyes as a deep, raspy voice sings, "Guess who!"

I place my hands on top of the perpetrator's and smile. "What took you so long?"

"Work was a bitch." He whispers while sliding his arms around my shoulders from behind me.

"Watch your language." I say. "There's a couple of minors in this house."

"I thought your sister was the only minor in your family." He looks at me with a confused look on his face.

"Not anymore." I reply just as we hear a squeaky bark sound the family room. "We have a new addition to the family." Puppy tries to jump onto my lap but he's too small to do so. I reach over carefully and pick him up. "See? I have a puppy now."

Vincent picks me up from my wheelchair and helps me to the floor so I can play with the puppy. He then lies down at an angle with his head closes to me. In a way, we kind of create a little corner for the puppy to play in…since he's so small, we're like a gate or something.

"I see your parents finally took the bait." Vincent laughs.

"Yep…he's all mine." I smile.

"Woah now…Don't go trying to replace me…I'm not gone THAT often to make you grow tired of my absences." Vincent says while Puppy licks his fingers.

"By the way…I haven't named him yet…I was hoping you could hear my ideas and tell me which one you like the best."

"All right. Hit me with your best shot." Vincent smirks.

"Okay…well…I have some serious names and some goofy ones…by the way he's acting, I think I may go with a goofy name." I say. The puppy sees his tail and tries to chase it but he stumbles over. To my surprise, he stands right back up and acts like nothing happened.

"Looks like he's a tough cookie just like you." Vincent states with a smirk.

"You think so?"

"I know so." He whispers before leaning in to kiss me. Puppy barks at us, causing us to part, and he starts licking my face.

"That little varmint!" Vincent laughs. "He IS trying to replace me!"

"Vincent, he's a puppy; puppies are just like babies when they're young. They desire all of the attention." I say and he laughs.

"I know. I was just messing around." He smirks. "Anyways, the names?"

"Oh! Right. Well…I thought of Jackson…and…Caleb…but…I think I want to name him Gimpy."

"Gimpy? I like the sound of that name for him…kinda suits him." Vincent smiles. "So…is it Gimpy, now?"

"Yep!" I say as I pet the little guy's head. "Guess what? Your new name is Gimpy."

Surprising us both, Gimpy barks a cheerful bark and wags his tail relentlessly.

"Gimpy it is, then." I say, smiling. "I think he likes his new name."

"I think so too." Vincent replies.

"Good." We lean in to kiss once more as Gimpy walks up to us and starts licking Vincent's neck.

Vincent parts from me and looks at Gimpy and then at me. "We need to train him to either leave when we're kissing or look another way."

"Good luck." I laugh and Vincent helps me back into my wheelchair. "By the way, Vincent. I believe dinner will be ready soon."

"Terrific! I'm starving." He exclaims.

I couldn't help but laugh at my boyfriend's silliness. I know the first few weeks of having Gimpy will be rough since he's getting used to his surroundings but I'm determined to make everything work.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Catherine, must he sleep in the bed with you?" Vincent asks as he slides underneath the covers and wraps his arms around my waste.

"Where else would he sleep?" I ask as I turn around to look at Vincent.

"We could…get him to sleep in a box or something…I mean, he isn't potty trained yet so wouldn't it be wise to put him in a box?"

"Maybe I will starting tomorrow, but tonight I want him up here with me."

"Okay." He replies before kissing my cheek. "I'm guessing there's no possible way to make love tonight while he's in bed with you, is there?"

"Not tonight, love. Sorry but the fourth of July looks promising." I smile. "That is…if you don't have work that day."

"I don't." He says. "I'll hold you to it, Catherine. You're all mine on the fourth."

Gimpy barks as if he's trying to claim me too. Vincent presses his pointer finger on Gimpy's nose and says, "This. Is. War."

"Seriously?" I laugh. "You're claiming war against an innocent puppy?"

"He may look innocent right now, Catherine…Just wait until he starts humping you in the middle of the night."

"Oh…you mean like what you're doing right now?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

He slips his hand underneath my underwear and whispers, "I most certainly do not hump."

Just as he is about to kiss me, I feel a tug of my panties before they are literally ripped off of me. I look at Vincent but he raises both hands to defend himself. "Don't look at me! As tempting as it was, I certainly did not do that."

"Then wh—" I cut my statement off as I look towards the window where I see the moonlight spotlighting Gimpy as he slings my panties around in multiple directions. "Vincent, can you…erm…can you get that from him please?"

"If I must." He sighs as if I've just given him the biggest task on the planet. He slides out of the bed and walks toward Gimpy. Gimpy stares Vincent down and waits for the first move. Slowly, Vincent manages to grab my panties but Gimpy doesn't back down too easily. He playfully growls as he plays a game of tug-o-war with my panties and I could tell Vincent is enjoying this little game. "You know," he laughs, "I never would have dreamed that one day I'd have to play a game of tug-o-war with a puppy in order to save my girlfriend's underwear. In a way…the whole thing is kind of kinky."

"Think what you want, Keller." I reply.

"I intend to." He sneers as he finally pulls my panties from Gimpy's mouth. Gimpy tries to grab it back but Vincent raises it higher. "Sorry, little dude. You've gotta find a different chew-toy."

Gimpy lowers his ears and starts sauntering back towards the bed when I sigh. "Vincent, just give them back to him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…it's not like I can wear them anyways. He's ripped them clean off." I say. Vincent tosses the underwear back towards Gimpy and he's back to his spirited self. So much for being an exhausted little puppy. Maybe I fueled his energy back up when I gave him part of my meatloaf for dinner. Gimpy returns to playing with my panties as Vincent makes his way towards me.

"You know…if you REALLY want to make your new puppy happy, you should give him the rest of your wardrobe." He smirks as he peels the sheets off of the bed.

"And have him poke a hole in my favorite T-shirt? No thank you." I say as I hear Vincent dropping his boxers onto the floor. "Vincent…I don't think it's a good idea to make love when Mr. Innocent is watching our every move."

"Catherine," Vincent states as he joins me in the bed and slips his hands underneath the lip of my shirt. "He's a dog. I seriously doubt he'll even care." He slides it off of me and walks his fingers up my torso. "Besides…I don't think it's going to be a problem." Vincent points towards the ground and whispers, "He's out cold."

"What the hell?" I shrug my shoulders a little and give in to my desires and allowing Vincent to satisfy them.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: Saturday, August 18, 2008**

**~Vincent's POV~**

"Is this real?" my girlfriend asks as her new wheelchair is being brought to her by the salesman. "Is it really mine?"

"Yes, honey. It's really yours." I hear her mother say through a smile. "Your father and I thought it was time you get a new wheelchair since you're going to be living at a new school starting tomorrow."

"I…I don't know what to say." Catherine says as she stares at the foreign machine coming her way. "I'm…floored."

The salesman parks the chair in front of Catherine and asks, "Would you like to give it a try?"

Catherine nods her head and looks up towards Gimpy and me. "Can you help me into my new chair?"

I simply nod and Mrs. Chandler takes Gimpy from my arms before I pick the love of my life up and place her into her new, remote-controlled wheelchair. "There you go."

The five of us (if you include Gimpy) take the elevator to the roof before the wheelchair salesman instructs Catherine on how to use the chair.

"Now…try slowly pushing the control stick forward." He says to Catherine after he makes sure the adjustments are right.

"Okay." I hear Catherine say as she places her palm on the control stick and gently starts pushing it forward. She starts moving on her own and before we know it, she's a pro. She starts spinning around in circles as the makeshift wind blows her hair around in multiple directions.

"How is it?!" I call out to her and she smiles really big.

"I feel like I'm flying!" she exclaims.

I don't think I can remember how happy my Catherine has looked in ages. She's finally seeing a brighter side to her disease now that she can move the same pace as the average walking speed. I hope that whatever happens from this point forward, she'll continue to fell high-spirited like she is right now.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**~Catherine's POV~**

Somehow Vincent convinced Mom and Dad to let me stay over at his place for the night since I'm going to NYSD tomorrow. I'm not sure how the conversation went, since I'm sure it was very awkward for my boyfriend, but I'm glad he managed to succeed. As much as I wanted Gimpy to be with us, Vincent thought it was best that he sleeps at my house tonight since tonight will most likely be a very romantic evening.

Shortly after dinner, Vincent receives a call from JT. At first he isn't going to answer it but I force him to since JT is his best friend after all. While he is talking with JT, I pull out my diary from my back and start writing in it.

_**Dear Diary, 08/18/2008**_

_**Mom and Dad bought me a new wheelchair today! It isn't like the one I was using before! Nope! I can actually move on my own now! Even though I'm determined to walk on my own legs for as long as possible, I still am glad I have a way to move as fast as other people. I'm tired of weighing others down because I can't move as fast. **_

_**I love feeling the breeze on my face as I move in my new chair! It's wonderful! **_

_**I don't know if I'll ever tell Vincent this but I haven't felt truly happy in a long time…No matter what façade I'm putting on, I yearn for some happiness in my life. Even when I got Gimpy, there was still a touch of sadness because I know I'll never be able to take care of him like other owners do. However…today was the first day I've felt really happy! And I hope to continue feeling happy because I'm not sure if I have any more tears to shed since last September. **_

_**Since I am in a REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY mood, I am going to end this entry since Vincent and I are about to start making use of the night! **_**^_^**

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Catherine**_

While I put my diary back into my bag, Vincent walks in and asks, "What're you doing?"

"I was writing in my diary." I smile and he leans down to kiss me.

"Now…how about that shower we've planned on taking?" he mutters as he picks me up and carries me into the bathroom to start the night of ecstasy.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I was so pleased with the thought that i could freely go out. My world suddenly seemed to get wider. I've always wanted to act at my own direction._

_(Aya Kitou; Ch. 3: The Wheelchair)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **

**I hope you loved chapter 15 and hope for more! Please review even if you didn't plan on reviewing…I want to get an idea of who is really enjoying this piece! Please!? **

**Thanks!**


	17. When I Close My Eyes

**Quick Note: **There will be a new character introduced and she has difficulties speaking. To break up her sentences, there will be a "|" since every word will primarily be separated by a ".". Thanks!

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****PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ AUTHOR'S NOTE AT BOTTOM!****

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Sixteen: When I Close My Eyes**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Date: September 08, 2008**

It has been a few weeks since I've started school at NYSD and honestly? I never thought I would really like being here…but I do. I don't have people giving me strange looks since we're all in wheelchairs over here and I can leave the facility anytime I want (as long as I let the director know).

It's a hard adjustment to be at a school that doesn't continue education but this school is better than staying at home and wishing I were making use of my life. Unlike Hudson University, I only have two classes every day: Creative Writing and Arts & Crafts. As of right now, I'm currently staring off into space while waiting for my Creative Writing class to be over. I may not be a fast writer but I love writing so I'm glad this class exists.

"Catherine, have you finished your assignment?" Miss Peterson asks as she walks over to me to see my work.

"Yes." I reply and hand over my poem. "I finished it about five minutes ago."

She reads through my poem and smiles. "Beautiful work, Catherine. Do you mind reading it for the class?"

I shake my head because I want others to hear my thoughts. I want fellow students to know what I'm feeling because maybe…maybe they feel what I feel too. I stand up from my wheelchair and slowly make my way to the front of the classroom.

"Class," Miss Peterson says, "Catherine Chandler, our newest classmate, would like to share an original poem with all of you." The students who can clap, smacks the palms of their hands together slowly as I take a deep breath.

"Ummm…My poem is called: Stare." I state before I take another deep breath and start reading the words scribbled on the page:

_Everything is different;  
nothing is the same.  
Life flipped upside-down,  
and filled with endless shame_

Always disappointed;  
Never finding peace.  
Drowning in a world  
that's already deceased.

_Even though people stare;  
they see what's not me.  
I am always trapped  
inside this canopy._

_The air, forever thick,  
makes it hard to breathe.  
I'm tired of the lies  
spoken through lips and teeth._

_Crying on the inside,  
Wanting to be free!  
I am not a bug  
so stop this scrutiny!_

_Why do you even stare?  
Why the third degree?  
JUST STOP! READ MY LIPS!  
THIS! DISEASE! ISN'T! ME!_

_At least…_

_That's what I want to say  
but my strength deserts me._

So…

_Instead…_

_I'll only stare at things…  
that will not…stare at me…_

I finish reading my poem, place the piece of notebook paper on my teacher's desk and carefully approach my wheelchair. I take my seat and raise my hand.

"Yes, Catherine?"

"Ummmm…since I've done all that's required in class today…may I leave?" I ask, hoping she would say yes or at least nod her head.

"We have five more minutes left; do you mind waiting?" Miss Peterson asks as she looks at the clock.

"Sure…I can wait." I reply and just move my chair slightly to my left to look out the window.

Every day seems to go by fast and I don't like that…

My time on Earth is already limited and I hate to think about wasting a day away, but what can I do? I can't control time; I can only control what I do with the time I have. I close my eyes as I hear the clock's constant ticking echoing through my mind. It seems like yesterday since Mom and Vincent dropped me off here…

**FLASHBACK || THIRD PERSON ||**

"_Wow…this place is HUGE!" Vanessa stated as she, her daughter and daughter's boyfriend walked into NYSD's lobby. The room was very spacious and had ramps everywhere. On the first floor, several little kids with their parents were doing physical therapy exercises to help them learn how to maneuver their limbs. Some were a little more advanced and mobile than others but, no matter how intriguing the site was, Catherine found it a little depressing. 'These little kids will never know the joys of running through fields…or playing Tag with friends…I pity them…' she thought before turning her attention in front of her. A woman with long, beautiful brunette hair cascading down her back strutted towards the new arrivals with a confident swag to her walk. _

_She approached Catherine and extended her right hand as she smiled gracefully. "Hello. It's nice to meet the three of you. I'm Miss Peterson; the teacher in charge of the school's learning program." _

_Catherine gently shook Miss Peterson's hand, returning a smile. "I'm Catherine Chandler…"_

"_Oh right! I've heard so much about you from Dr. Marks." Her melodic voice expressed. "You've visited before, haven't you?" _

"_No…I wish I would have but…I never got the time to do it." Catherine replied. "I hear there's another girl here with my disease?"_

"_Yes…Danielle Scottsdale. In fact, she's your roommate for the next three years." Miss Peterson said. "She's on her way down if you'd like to talk with her on your way to your room. She's going to tell you all you need to know while being here. In the meantime, feel free to ask any questions you have regarding the campus." _

"_Am I allowed to leave the campus to go on dates?" Catherine asked, making her boyfriend's ears perk. He was just as interested to know this answer as she. _

"_Yes but it is important you notify your roommate as well as me at least a day in advance. We have a buddy system here, Catherine and it's important to respect that buddy system. If you're planning on going somewhere within the campus walls, you only need to tell your roommate where you're going unless it is to class. Not only will you be responsible for you, but you'll also need to be responsible for Danielle. So, if she's not feeling well, it will be your job to call a nurse by pressing your panic button next to your bed. She will do the same if the situation is reverse." _

"_Thanks…That's good to know." _

"_Oh, and another thing I would like to add: Depending on each student's condition, a food menu will be written by the nutritionist so don't be surprised if another student is eating something you want but can't have. Also, all nurses are on 24 hour rotations so if you have an emergency, you won't have to worry about a thing." _

_Catherine nodded and noticed a girl, around her age, pushing her motorized chair towards them as she wore a big smile. She had straight, long reddish-brown hair shaping her face with green eyes and a perfect, toothy smile. _

"_Oh good!" Miss Peterson clapped her hands together. "This is Danielle Scottsdale. Danielle, this is Catherine, you're new roommate." _

_Danielle smiled and gave a short, shaky wave. "Hel-lo. Nice. To. M-meet. You." _

"_I will leave the three of you with Danielle while I tend to my other responsibilities. Danielle has been here since her sophomore year in high school so she knows everything there is to know about NYSD. Don't be afraid to ask her questions and I will be back in about an hour to see if everything went smoothly." _

_Miss Peterson walked off and the trio turned their attention to Danielle. "I. Am. So. G-glad. To. Fin-nal-ly. Have. A. Room-mate." She grinned and moved her wheelchair forward before trying to extend her hand towards Catherine. Catherine, unsteadily, reached out for Danielle's hand and grabbed it gently while shaking it. _

"_Catherine, sweetie," Vanessa pressed her hand on her daughters shoulder. "I have to go to work. Do you mind?" _

"_Not at all. Do what you have to do, Mom. I'll be fine here." Catherine smiled before receiving a kiss on the top of her head. _

"_Call home once you're all settled. Okay?" _

"_I will." Catherine replied and her mother left without another word. "Danielle," she smiled. "This is my boyfriend, Vincent."_

_Danielle gave him a small wave. "N-nice. T-to. Meet. Y-you. V-vin-cent."_

"_It's very nice to meet you too." Vincent waved back, returning Danielle a smile. He looked at his girlfriend and caressed her face. "I'm sorry, love but I have to get going too. JT's dad offered me a job and I start in an hour…It's all the way across the city and if I don't leave now, he will feed me to the wolves. Call me later?" _

"_Always." Catherine beamed before he bent down to kiss her. "Take care of Gimpy for me while I'm gone. Okay?" _

"_I promise." Vincent replied before turning to Danielle. "I leave my Catherine in your hands." _

"_She. Will. B-be. In. Good. Hands._| _I. Pro-mise." Danielle said. "She. Will. L-love. It. Here."_

"_I hope so." Vincent grinned. He turned back to his girlfriend and kissed her once more before uttering those three special words into her ear. "I love you." _

"_I love you too." Catherine breathed against his skin before he gave her one last kiss to seal their goodbye. As he dashed off, Danielle couldn't help but smile at her new friend. _

"_You. Are. L-luck-ky. To. Have. Him."_

"_I know." Catherine smiled. "I know." _

**||END OF FLASHBACK||**

"Catherine, you may leave now." I hear Miss. Peterson say as she walks towards me. "Class ended five minutes ago."

"Oh…Sorry…I was lost in my thoughts."

"It's all right." She grins. "I actually had a few questions for you anyways."

"What about?" I ask as I turn my attention towards Miss Peterson.

"Catherine," she sits down in a chair in front of me and smiles sweetly. "There's a Parents' Night in a few weeks and I was wondering if I could showcase your poetry on the bulletin board outside the classroom for other people to read. I think you have marvelous writing skills for someone your age and believe it should be shared with as many people as possible. You don't have to tell me your answer now, but, if possible, will you let me know by this Friday?"

"I don't…I don't have to think about it, Miss Peterson. I would be honored to have my work on display."

"Great! I will start putting together a portfolio of all of your previous works this afternoon!" She claps her hands together. "You're free to leave now."

"Thanks." I say before pushing my motorized wheelchair away from the desk and towards the classroom's door. I make it back to my dorm room and find Danielle reading a book while listening to her iPod Nano. She sees me and smiles her toothy grin. I don't think I've ever met a single person who smiles as much as she does. It's a great effect on my day when I'm having a hard time. I push myself out of my wheelchair and slowly waddle to my desk. I sit down in my chair to pull out my empty, white canvas from my backpack. Arts & Crafts assignment: Sketch what's in your heart. Simple enough, right?

Suddenly, Danielle startles me as she calls my name. I turn to look at her and she asks, "How. Was. Class?" Danielle may have the same disease as me but hers is further developed; she's already having speaking issues. I am glad to have met her because there are times I have questions and she's better equipped to answer them rather than a nurse.

"Fun." I smile. "I got to read a poem out loud in class."

"Can. I. See?"

"Sure but you may have to wait a while. Miss Peterson is putting together a portfolio with my writings in it. I can't say I remember it by heart so…unfortunately…you'll have to wait."

"That's. Okay." She beams brighter than the sun's shine. "Your. Writings. Are. Al-ways. Beau-ti-ful."

"Thank you." I say. "Say…I have a question, Danielle."

"What. Is. It?"

"When…when you lost your ability to speak fluently, how much did it affect your life?"

Her grin fades into a sad smile. "It. Was. H-hard. At. First. | I. Had. Dif-fic-cult. Times. Ad-just-ting. | My. Speech. Start-ted. Wor-se-ning. Last. Sum-mer. | Mom. Helped. Me. Through. It. | I. Al-so. Had. Lots. Of. Speech. The-ra-py."

"Thank you for your honesty."

She smiles again before returning to her book. I grab my pen and start doodling, sketching my heart's thoughts on the canvas.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**September 12, 2008**

After finally finishing my dinner, I wait for Danielle to finish hers but she starts choking. A nurse rushes to her aid and brings her water to wash down her food. Luckily, that did the trick and she assures them she's all right. That's the third time she's choked on her food this week. I'm really getting worried for her and, unlike the nurses, I can see past her fake smiles. She may not show it but she's in more pain than she's letting on.

We return to our room to work on our projects when my phone starts ringing.

"Who. Is. It?" Danielle asks as she looks at me. I take a look at my phone's caller ID and blush. "Ahhh! It. is. Vin-cent! Isn't. It?"

I nod with a smile and answer the phone. "Hello?"

"_Hey."_ Oh how I've longed to hear him. He hasn't been able to visit due to his job at JT's father's shop so I've been waiting on pins and needles to hear from him. Finally, he's called at last.

"How's work?" I ask.

"_It definitely zaps the life out of me but it pays for the apartment's rent and for my loans. Guess what?"_

"What?"

"_JT and I finally received responses from Columbia Medical Center." _

"Really?! What did they say?!"

"_JT was easily accepted into the Biochemistry & Molecular Biophysics department. He'll be starting this spring as a grad student." _

"What about you?"

"_Me?" _

"Yes you!" I laugh, missing him so much.

"_I wasn't going to tell you since I thought you'd be way more excited about JT than for me but, yeah, I also got in. I will be a graduate student at Columbia Medical Center starting in the spring too." _

"I'm so proud of you, Vincent!" I exclaim. "See? I knew you could do it!"

"_Yes you did, love. Yes you did. Speaking of which, how are things going at NYSD?"_

"I really love it here, Vincent."

"_Ouch…you must love it so much that you wouldn't even care to see me again." _He jokes a bit but I shake my head.

"Don't even say that, Vincent. I wish you were here with me right now." I say to him in a low voice to try to give us a little bit of privacy.

"_Say…what are you doing this Sunday?" _

"Why? What are you planning?" I ask, knowing exactly what day, Sunday, is.

"_If you're interested, do you want to accompany me to the New York Aquarium? Hell, we can go anywhere you want to that day; I just want to spend it with you." _

"The aquarium sounds lovely." I say. "I'll have to let Miss Peterson know but I am yours ALL DAY Sunday."

"_Perfect." _I can tell he's smiling like a dorky kid who has just won a prize from the claw machine.

We continue to talk for almost an hour before he ends the call, saying something about needing to wake up early in the morning. When I place my phone back to my side, Danielle flashes me a toothy grin. "You. Are. Glow-ing."

"Yeah…I am, aren't I?"

"Do. You. Two. Sleep. To-get-ther?"

I smirk. "Well…we used to…but I don't know if that's even possible anymore…" Then I grin even more. "I guess I'll find out on Sunday."

She laughs as she returns to her project as I pull out my diary to write another entry. Because it's getting even harder to write, I try not to write full sentences unless it's necessary. It takes me forever to write one entry now…I can't afford to write all of my thoughts as a story—even if I really want to.

_**Dear Diary, 09/12/2008**_

_**Not much happened today. Classes = fun!**_

_**Vincent called! Wants me to go to Aquarium Sunday. **_

_**Told him I am going. **_

_**Love him. **_

_**Miss him. **_

_**Can't wait to see him!  
**_

_**Overall, I am glad b/c I came here. Tho, I miss Hudson U. too. I feel like I am still a part of that school…is that wrong? It's like I have dual citizenship.**_

_**~C**_

I place my diary back into its drawer and fall asleep, excited to see Vincent on Sunday!

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I'm glad that I came here.  
-Watching students playing baseball under the window . . .  
-Watching students practicing sumo wrestling with the teachers . . .  
But, getting accustomed to it is something else. I sometimes feel I'm in limbo. I've beun to accept the fact that I'm no longer a student of Higashi High. But I don't really feel that I'm a student of Okayo yet. If some stranger asked me, "Which school do you go to?", I wonder what I'd answer?_

_(Aya Kitou; Chapter 3)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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****IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE**  
**

**Keiko Fujiwara: **Okay…I first of all would like to apologize for not uploading this ASAP. Life got in the way (July 4th) among other things but here it is! The chapter is a bit short but better than nothing right?!

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_**I have a few questions and DEFINITELY NEED your opinion! These questions will concern this story as well as other stories I am working on.**_

**First Question: **In regards to "Serendipity," I am at a standstill. I can't remember where I was taking this story so I would like to restart it…maybe keep the first five or so chapters but still, I would like to restart it with a fresh idea in store. The main plotline will be in tact but I want your honest opinion, would you mind if I restarted it after this fanfiction is finished? Please answer via review! This is super important to me!

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**Second Question: **In regards to "My Normal is when I'm with You," I've been struggling where to take this fanfiction so…I'm thinking about ending it soon… I will tie up the loose ends in the story once "One Litre" is done but my main question is: If I cannot find ways to tie up the loose ends, would you mind if I delete the story? If you LOVE the story that I have up right now, by all means, TELL ME TO KEEP IT! I will figure out a way to end it but it will take some time. I might put this story on the back burner, if you know what I mean.

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**Third Question: **In regards to "One Litre," I have a solid idea where this fic is going so I will not be quitting this one! I will keep working on it until it's inevitable finish! Since this is an AU and LOOSELY based off of another fandom, I have a few plans to squeeze into the main plotline… However, I want your opinions on some of ideas because I sincerely want to write what the readers want to read. Soooo…**Here are my cluster of ideas:** **(1)** Catherine reassesses her life and despite all of Dr. Mark's warnings, she really wants a baby. B/c she cannot give birth to one without experiencing heavy complications, her aunt Stacy offers to be Catherine's surrogate mother for the child she wants to have with Vincent. **_Yay? Nay?_** **(2)** (still on baby theory) Cat, herself, gets pregnant…decides to keep baby…even though Dr. Marks recommends against it. V supports whatever Catherine wants but, somewhere deep inside, he can't help but wonder if she's making the right decisions. **(3)** No baby at all…because you think a child would just complicate things even more (which, technically, it would :P).

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So…when 'voting' for the third question, just put a 1, 2 or 3 so I have an idea of how many people want which idea. After a few days, if there are substantial reviews, I will go by the highest vote. If there are barely any votes, I'll take the story how I want to take it :P But I'm offering the plate to you guys first! :)

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As you can tell, I got a little divider-happy right now. ^_^

**BY THE WAY:** In case you were wondering, I did write that poem Catherine wrote for her class. I did not copy it from anywhere; it is original and made SOLELY for this fanfiction. And whatever use I decide to have for it later.

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You know what to do! Review!


	18. I See the Other Side

**Quick Note: **Thank you so much for those of you who voted for the path you would like to see this fiction to go. I will keep the majority vote in mind as I'm typing but don't be surprised if something is twisted along the way. That's just how I write. Heh. Heh. Heh.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Seventeen: I See the Other Side**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: September 13, 2008**

"Are we done?" I ask Dr. Marks as he sits back in his chair in order to start typing something on his computer.

"Not quite." He replies. "There's something I need to tell you and your mother before you leave." I nod and Mom takes my hand as we wait for Dr. Marks to tell us more bad news. "At this rate, Catherine, you're disease has progressed to the next level."

"What does that mean for me?" I ask. Every time he tells me my disease has progressed even further, I feel like another year of my life is taken from me. I can feel my blood pumping through my ears as I wait for him to answer. Lesson to learn: never try to create suspense for someone with a life-threatening disease. It's too nerve-wracking for everyone involved.

He stops typing on his keyboard and swings himself around to look at me intently. Uh-oh. The serious doctor-stare. That's never a good thing. "Don't be surprised if you start having difficulties in your speech, Catherine. Also, be careful of your surroundings; unlike other people, your immune system is weak. Your body is too weak to fight a simple bug like the cold. Since your white blood cells are currently fighting off the disease you already have, your body is leaving the door open for other sicknesses. Understand?"

I nod. Greeeeeat. Now I'm a freaking bug magnet. Just perfect. I look towards my Mom when I hear her ask, "Dr. Evan, when Catherine does start having problems with her speech, do you want to see her more often to help with speech therapy?"

"I don't think that's necessary quite yet, Dr. Chandler. Catherine's current school is equipped with many nurses so, when she needs speech therapy, all she needs to do is talk to the headmaster. The headmaster will take care of everything from there." Dr. Marks says as Mom starts to stand up.

"Thank you for your hard work, Dr. Marks." I say to him with a smile. I truly mean it. It's obvious he's so focused on my case that he hasn't had the time to help others in need. Although I feel like a burden for taking up most of his time, I'm grateful for his efforts and diligence with hopes of finding a cure.

"Not a problem, Catherine." he says. As Mom and I leave his office, I look around the Neurology department as I move my motor wheelchair down the perfect white hall. I wonder if there will come a day when I will have to live at the hospital…For some reason, I feel like homecare won't be enough after I graduate from NYSD in a few years. Mom and I find our way to her car in silence as we absorb the information Dr. Marks gave us a few moments ago.

Finally, Mom breaks the silence as she opens the side car door and asks a very simple question, "Catherine, do you want to go home or go back to the school?"

"The school." I reply while she helps me get into my seat. "I'm asking for tomorrow off since Vincent and I are going on a date but…I'm sure I can return home tomorrow night."

"Sounds wonderful." Mom smiles. "I'll even cook your favorite meal for dinner."

"Great!" I exclaim. "I love stew!"

She starts the car and pulls out of the parking garage before merging onto traffic. As much as I would love to stay at home tonight, I can't. I promised Danielle I would help her with her creative writing project and there's no way I'm going to back out of that. When we finally return, Mom helps me out of the car but I ask her not to follow me.

"But don't you want some help, honey?" She seems concerned for me…Do I really cause her so much pain? Anguish? Grief?

I take ahold of her hands and smile. "Not now, Mom. I just want to get back to my room and take a nap before I help out a friend tonight."

"I see."

"Mom, I'll be home tomorrow night. Okay? I'll see you then!" I try to cheer up her mood but I don't know how well it's working.

"All right, sweetie." She smiles sadly. "Please call tonight. Your sister and your father are aching to hear from you." She pulls her hands out of mine and holds my hands instead. She squeezes my fingers ever so gently. "Whether or not you realize it, Catherine, we worry about you. You hardly ever call so we don't know how you're doing. Can you please call tonight? It'll put your father's mind at ease."

"Yes…I'm sorry for keeping distant, Mom…" I don't know why but I start crying. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Catherine!" she exclaims as she wraps her arms around me. "I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, sweetie! I just want you to know we're still here for you." I can hear the sorrow in her voice as she holds me like a mother bear holds her newborn cub. "I know you're going through a lot of changes, Catherine, but we want to be there for you. Okay?"

I nod but don't want her to let me go. "Mom…I've changed my mind…can we…go somewhere for a little while? I don't have to be back for a few more hours…" I sniff loudly and she chuckles sadly as she sniffs too.

"Look at us," she says. "We're such a mess!" She pulls away from me and digs into her purse. A few seconds later, she pulls out two tissues; one for me and one for her. She hands me a Kleenex so I can wipe my tears away as she does the same. "What place do you have in mind?"

"There's something I want to show you." I say to her as I move away from the car and head towards the school's gate.

"Catherine," Mom catches up to me, "Where are we going?"

"A place made for inspiration." I smile towards her but do not stop my chair from moving. She quickly locks her car with her key remote before following me towards the subway entrance. I don't know why but I have the urge to go to Inspiration Pointe and…this time…I want to share this peaceful moment with my mother—the woman who has always been there for me when I've needed her.

We spend several minutes in silence as we ride in the subway before I finally start heading towards the doors. Mom stays in her seat until the subway is completely stopped before attempting to rise to her feet. I still don't understand how a doctor can get motion sickness. It just doesn't make sense to me. Oh well.

Finally, we arrive to Inspiration Point where I abandon my wheelchair for the time being (to get up those few steps) and carefully walk towards the Greek pillars. "Mom, have you ever been to Inspiration Pointe?"

"A few times," Mom smiles, "but it's been many, many years."

"Dad took me up here a few times when Heather and I were young girls. Then, Vincent brought me here as a part of our first date. We've been coming up here quite often since then…yet…there are times I want to come here alone…but never get the chance. However, today…Today, I want to share this place with you, Mom." I say as I waddle over to her and take her hand in mine. I guide her to the open panel closest to the view of New York City before releasing her hand.

"Your father also took me up here a few times as well, my dear. In fact, I'm not sure if your dad told you this but we met here."

"You did?" Now, that's something you don't hear every day.

"Yes…Your father was on a class trip and I was collecting data for a project. He was too busy taking pictures and I was too busy writing down numbers when we collided into each other. The moment I saw your father, I just knew he was the one. And I was right, Catherine. He gave me two beautiful, strong girls that I absolutely adore. You and Heather are definitely a blessing on my life." Mom places her hand on my shoulder. "Don't ever forget that."

"Mom…I'm not strong." I say to her but she shakes her head.

"I didn't mean strong as in physical strength, my dear. I meant you and Heather have strong hearts, strong minds and are strong-willed women." Her hand migrates from my shoulder to my cheek as she wipes a tear off of my face. "You are the strongest person I know, Catherine. You continue to fight this disease while your father, sister and I are running about frantically trying to find ways to help you. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"You're starting to sound a lot like Vincent." I laugh a little.

"You have a wise boyfriend, then." I lean my face into her touch. Oh how I've missed my family.

"I do." I say as I turn to look at the sparkling Hudson. I keep forgetting just how beautiful it is here. "I meant what I said before, Mom. I'm sorry for keeping my distance."

"Don't be sorry, Catherine. You have a lot going on." Mom says.

I place my arms against the sill to keep myself from falling down as well as to relieve some unwanted pressure on my ankles. "No…I need to apologize, Mom."

"What for?"

"There's…a reason I've been distant…" I say but I refuse to look at her. She's going to be mad after I tell her this. I know it.

"What's wrong, Catherine?" Mom asks sincerely. I use all of my strength to keep me from falling as I push myself onto my arms once more.

"I…just…I just don't want you, Dad and Heather…to remember me like I am…I want you three to only remember the happy, healthy Catherine from a year ago. Not the sick Catherine."

"Catherine, honey, sick or not, we love you all the same. You bring so much joy into our lives and I refuse to think you believe that…How do you think I would feel if I were sick instead? The mere thought of never wanting my girls to see me again is too provocative. People love you, Catherine; you have to believe that."

"I do… I just…" I take a deep breath and try calming my nerves. "I just…"

"Feel undeserving?" Mom cuts me off and I nod my head. "Catherine…everyone has a time in their life in which they feel unworthy of something. Believe me, I have many times…and so has your father and sister. But just because we feel undeserving, it doesn't mean the people who love us will stop loving us." She notices I'm struggling to keep standing on my feet so she rushes off to push my wheelchair up the steps so I can sit down. "Can I tell you a little secret?"

I nod, wanting her to continue.

"Before I met your father, I was in a toxic relationship with a brutal man. People kept warning me about his bad boy streak but I didn't listen. I was blinded by infatuation. One night, however, on my way back to my dorm from the library, he cornered me in a dark alley and physically abused me. I wanted to tell the cops but he told me that if I did, I'd be dead. So…I allowed my fear to swallow me. For nearly three months, he would hit me and throw things at me every other night simply because he told me I was worthless. He filled lies into my brain and I believed him. I believed him and thought I was too powerless…too worthless to stand up to him. The lies he fed me made me think everyone hated me. Then…I came here…to Inspiration Pointe to escape from the world. I loved science and it helped me cope with the abuse. The second time I came here was when I met your father, Catherine.

"For weeks, he tried asking me out on a date but I couldn't risk his safety…However, at one point, he walked in at the wrong time and saw that lowlife striking me in the face. Tom stood up to him and told him to get lost. When that didn't work, Sam…the jerk…punched your father in the face. They started fighting and after several minutes, Tom actually won. Without a word, he pulled me out of that toxic environment and brought me to his place. He let me clean up and use his spare room for the night until I could figure out where to go next. At one point that night, I wanted to know why he would risk his life to stand up for me like that."

"What did he say?" I ask. How has Mom never told me this story before? Maybe that's why she seems to be so understanding of Vincent and my relationship…even if my dad isn't so outwardly happy about it.

She smiles and looks out at the sky. "He said three words that changed the view of my life forever."

"What were they?"

"You're worth it." she breathes quietly. "I never thought I would ever hear those words cross my path again. When your father told me I was worth the fight, I instantly realized that I wasn't worthless. I did have a purpose because after I went to the police to tell them what Sam was doing for the past several months, word somehow travelled to Maine and my parents flew down instantly to bring me home with them."

"What did you do? Did you go home with them?"

"Of course not, silly. I somehow convinced myself that I still wanted to live in New York so despite their generous offer, I declined. But…my point is…people have dark secrets all of the time; some worse than others. In any case, no matter how unworthy they may feel, people will always love and care for them. Always. Do you understand, Catherine?"

I nod silently and she takes my hands before patting them with hers. "Good. Now, do me a favor and keep that little story a secret. I don't want my colleagues finding out about my rough past. Okay?"

"Okay." I say with a nod. "I promise I'll keep it a secret."

"Thank you." Mom smiles before we decide it's best to get going. I don't want to break my promise with Danielle so we hurry (as fast as I can hurry) to the subway station and hope life hasn't progressed TOO much since our absence.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Now, don't forget to call home later, Catherine." Mom says after rolling down the car window. "You have a couple of anxious ears waiting to hear your voice. Gimpy included."

"If I don't call home by 8 PM tonight, assume I've forgotten and call me instead." I say as I wave. "Also, give Gimpy a big kiss on the head for me."

"Will do. Just wait until tomorrow! When you come home, he's going to run as best as his little legs can carry him, hop or at least try to hop onto your lap before licking your face to death." Mom laughs. "By the way, Catherine, where are you and Vincent going tomorrow?" Wow…what a turnaround.

"The aquarium. He wants to show me one of the exhibits." I reply with a shrug…I think the part about going to his apartment to 'possibly' sleep together is better left out. The less she knows, the better. Right?

"Oh! That's lovely. You'll have a great time, darling." Mom says.

"I hope so!" I grin. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Most definitely." She grins. "I love you sweetie."

"I love you too, Mom." I reply before she pulls away from the curb. Once her car disappears from the street, I leave for my room but stop before I reach for the handicap button to open my door.

I wonder… How many "I love you's" do I have left to say before I die…?

After closing the door, I look into my dorm and see my roommate working on yesterday's homework. Once she notices me, she waves. "How. Was. Your. Appointment?"

"Unfortunately," I say as I roll into the room, "my disease has progressed a little bit. Dr. Marks thinks I'll start having talking problems soon."

"Hang. In. There. Ca-ther-ine. | E-ven. Though. You. Will. Lose. Your. A-bi-li-ty. Ov-er. Time…. You. Will. Realize. Just. How. Im-por-tant. Your. Voice. Truly. Is." Danielle says as she crawls towards me and places her hand on my shoulder with as much strength as she can manage.

"Thanks, Danielle." I smile kindly. "Say...just wondering, do you have a boyfriend?"

"No. | I. Have. Been. Here. For. Years. | You. Are. Luck-y. You. Have. Vin-cent." Danielle smiles sweetly. "He. L-loves. You. So. M-much." She replies before she starts making it back to her desk as I head for my bed.

"I know." I say. "I know he loves me."

"Good." She returns back to her work and I sigh. I can't imagine what life would be like for Danielle…she was 12 when she received her disease…TWELVE! That's horrible! And here I was thinking; I was too young.

"Danielle?" I turn to look at her.

"Y-yes?"

"How does your family handle your condition?"

"My. Dad. Died. W-hen. I. W-was. F-five." She replies but still smiles—a sad smile.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know." I give her a sincere look.

"My. Mom. Works. Hard. Ev-er-y-day. To. P-pay. For. My. Me-di-cal. Ex-pen-ses. She. C-could. Not. Be-lieve. The. Doc-tor. When. Sh-she. F-f-found. Out. | E-ven-tu-al-ly. We. Both. Acc-cept-ed. F-fate."

"Wow." I say. "Your mother is very dedicated and I can tell she's willing to do anything to give you the best care."

"Th-thank. You. Ca-ther-rine. | Your. Mom. Too." Danielle smiles.

"Thanks."

Danielle puts her book down and slowly crawls to her wheelchair. "I. Am. Go-ing. To. The. Gar-den. | You. Want. To. Come?"

"Sorry…Not today, Danielle. I need to make a few phone calls. I'll see you later?"

"Mhmm!" Danielle smiles her toothy grin once more before giving me privacy. So, without further ado, I slowly reach for my phone to call home for the first time in weeks.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**September 14****th****, 2008**

I feel like it's been an eternity since I've seen my boyfriend. I truly miss him and wish he can visit more often but his current job demands a lot from him.

"I'm going to go and meet Vincent at the gate, Danielle. Do you want anything while I'm out?" I ask my roommate as I start moving towards the door.

"J-just. Take. P-p-pic-tures. For. M-m-me." Danielle smiles.

"Okay! I certainly will!" I smile. "Erm, Vincent will, with my camera, but yeah. You'll certainly get to see pictures on Tuesday when I come back from the mini break."

She slowly claps her hands together before waving me goodbye. I smile, wave back to her and press the "Handicap" button to exit the dorm room. I cannot believe how young Danielle appears when she tries to clap…Do people who have my disease always appear younger than their perspective age as their disease progresses?

Like always, hundreds of thoughts spill into my head after thinking of a simple thought. I keep my mind occupied as I make my way to the outside gate. I didn't even notice my own boyfriend leaning against the gate's wall until he calls out to me. "Hey stranger!"

I shake my thoughts away and smile. "Hey, yourself."

He runs up to me and pulls me into his arms. With my legs clumsily wrapped around his waist, he holds me tightly, making sure he doesn't let go (or else I would certainly fall). He carries me to the sill of the gate and places me on top of it before running his fingers through my hair. "I missed you so much, love."

"I missed you too." I mutter before he pulls me in for a sloppy yet perfect kiss. As our lips interlock with one another, we do not realize we aren't alone. Suddenly, we hear someone's throat clear, causing both of us to jump a little.

"M-miss Peterson!" I stumble for words. "W-we were just leaving."

"Next time, Catherine, please keep your affectionate behavior outside of the walls. I don't mean to sound harsh but there are several students here who…cannot indulge in romantic relationships. Please be more considerate of others."

"O-of course!" I exclaim. "I'm sorry, Miss Peterson. I wasn't thinking! It won't happen again, we promise."

"Good." She smiles. "Have fun!" She walks off and both my boyfriend and I sigh.

"That was…humiliating." I say and Vincent nods.

"Agreed." He replies as he picks me up and carries me back to my wheelchair. "Before we go to the aquarium…let's take advantage of this lovely morning and head for my apartment for…erm…for some catching up."

"Nice way of words." I laugh as he walks beside me.

"Thanks." He says before helping me into his car. I don't know why but for some reason, no matter whom I'm in a car with, our car time is always silent… I guess car conversations with handicap people are awkward?

Once we arrive to his apartment, he helps me out of his car and carries me up the stairs to his apartment. He leaves my wheelchair in the car since it's too heavy to carry up three flights of stairs. He sets me down briefly to unlock the door before picking me back up into his arms. He kicks the door closed with his left foot before rushing us into his bedroom.

After he gently places me down on his bed, he brings his lips to mine as if the last kiss we shared was sometime last year. Since I can barely move my arms and legs, I let him do the 'talking' for once. I feel his lips trailing down my throat as his fingers play with the buttons of my blouse. For several minutes, his lips do not leave my skin. He's either kissing my lips or other…places on my body. Eventually, his fiery passion rekindles our long lost flame and I remember where I belong—right in Vincent's strong arms.

For the next few hours, we 'test' my limits to see what my body can and cannot do while making love with one another. I didn't think it was even possible anymore but somehow, Vincent continues to surprise me.

"I've been thinking," I say as I look upwards to face my boyfriend, "I…I want a baby, Vincent…"

He looks at me intently while threading his fingers through my hair with one hand and massaging my side with his other. "Where is this coming from?"

"I…I want my life to have some kind of purpose, Vincent…and I feel like my options are limited. I know this is crazily insane but I want to have a baby…"

"Catherine," he brings his hand from my side to my arm, "As much as I would love giving you a baby, love, remember what you told me your doctor said?"

I nod but don't answer.

"Do you really want to risk a baby's life if your body cannot sustain the delivery much less the pregnancy?" he asks me as sincerely as he can without trying to hurt my feelings.

I shake my head. "No…I just…I…I don't know what I was thinking, Vincent. I'm sorry…I was foolish."

"No, love. You weren't being foolish." He kisses my shoulder. "You're a lot of things, Catherine, but you're not foolish."

"Than what am I?" I ask as he pulls me in for a tighter embrace.

"You're human." He whispers into my ear before leaning down to kiss me.

"I…I want you to…be prepared, Vincent…this may be our last time making love…Day after day, it's getting harder to move my arms and legs. I can barely control my arms to caress you in any intimate way."

"We'll take it day by day, love. Okay?" he replies before kissing my forehead. "Even if today is the last time we can ever make love, I'll still love you, Catherine Elizabeth Chandler."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because," he manages to roll on top of me before answering my question. He cups my face in his large, strong hands and rubs his nose against mine. "Remember our first dance together?"

I nod. "We danced to CoCo Lee's "Before I Fall in Love.""

"Indeed." He plants a kiss on my nose. "I was so in love with you during that dance as much as I am in love with you today, Catherine. As I have said before, I don't need sex to love you. You are my light and just being with you…your presence…is enough to make me a happy man. Granted, we may have not met until last year but I feel like I've known you my entire life, Catherine. We took a chance to be together and I'm willing to continue taking chances for as long as you're in my life. You know all ups and downs, and despite what you're going through, you still take the initiative to support me in every way possible. Sex or no sex, I'm here with you, Catherine. I'm here until you get tired of me."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." He smirks before leaning in for another kiss. "I love you, Catherine Chandler. I always will."

I may still have my doubts about Vincent's devotion but I'm willing to take a chance if he is too.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Wow! This place is humongous!" I exclaim as Vincent and I walk through the first aquarium exhibit. After an hour or so of more love-making, we finally remembered the aquarium so we took the fastest shower we could take before we finished getting ready.

"It looks smaller than I remember." Vincent says.

"When was the last time you were here?" I ask.

"I was four." He smirks and chuckles.

"Mystery solved." I smile as he leans down to kiss me.

We eventually make our way to the dolphin exhibit and I can't help but look all around me. "How…how are the dolphins able to swim without bumping into the glass?"

"That's easy," Vincent smiles. "It's because of the dolphin's voice." I look at him and he continues explaining as he points in different directions to explain his answer. "Although humans cannot hear a dolphin's voice underwater, they emit ultrasound which acts like a sonar where the sound will bounce back to them. That's how they know how far a certain distance is and such. Also, by using this sound, dolphins are able to communicate with other dolphins that are even further away."

I stand up from my wheelchair and walk towards the glass. I don't care if people are watching me. "A secret conversation that we can't hear, aye?"

"Something like that." Vincent laughs as he wraps his arms around me to prevent me from falling.

"I wonder…" I press my ear against the glass and close my eyes. "I wonder if I can hear it." I listen for a few minutes and smile. "Wouldn't it be great if humans can also communicate like this with people who are far away?"

"What do you mean?" he asks before kissing my shoulder.

I look at the dolphins and stay silent.

'Catherine?"

"I was just thinking…if…I mean when…I die…if there's a away we can still contact each other like the dolphins." I say softly, hoping he couldn't hear me.

I think he did though. He pulls me in for a tighter hug and sniffs loudly. "One way or another, I'm sure we'll be able to keep in touch. We're destined, remember? Anything is possible."

I keep quiet… I don't believe anything is possible. If it were, I would be cured…wouldn't I?

"…Let's make a pit stop to the gift shop, shall we?" Vincent asks as he interrupts my thoughts.

"Sure." I smile.

We are inside the gift shop for nearly thirty minutes before Vincent finally found something he wanted. When he finishes paying for his items, we walk to the picnic area (well, he walks and I roll) and approach an empty table. "Here." He says as he hands me a small phone chain with a pink dolphin attached. "Now, we can communicate like the dolphins."

He attaches it to my phone before I give him a kiss. "Thank you, Vincent. It's wonderful!"

"A wonderful trinket for a wonderful woman." He smirks genuinely. He stands up after giving me a kiss. "I'm going to go get us some drinks. All right?"

"Okay!" I smile at him before he leaves.

I watch him disappear inside the café before I stare at my new phone cover. It's so beautiful!

Suddenly, a lady and her young daughter approach me. "Excuse me!" the mother says. "Can you tell me where the jelly-fish exhibit is?"

"It's across the dolphin aquarium." I say but she gives me a strange look.

"Hm?"

"The dolphihaquariuh." When she still looks at me strangely, I realize what's happening to me. Instead of talking, I point towards the direction and the small family leaves immediately. Dr. Evans was right…If only he could have told me this sooner…Then I would have been more prepared for it.

"Back." Vincent grins as he swings his legs over the bench. "Here." He hands me water and I smile in gratitude. "Did I miss anything?"

I shake my head instead of speaking to him.

I never thought I would feel so unprepared to start losing my voice…I can't even speak to the man I love anymore. I see several couples walking around and holding hands as the laugh together. Vincent and I will never be able to have that…ever again…

**Beauty and the Beast**

Because Vincent didn't want to bother with traffic, we had taken the subway to get to the aquarium. Because of the approaching weather, the subway system is down to avoid trains getting potentially stuck. We are barely a mile away from the aquarium when it starts to rain at a very harsh beat.

One moment I was going down the street, the next, my chair wheel sinks into a pothole.

"Shit." Vincent mutters under his breath. I start shivering so he takes off his jacket and places it on my shoulders. After minutes of constant pulling and pushing, he finally gets me out of that hole. He starts pushing me down the street as fast as he can so he can find us shelter but several people were flooding the would-have-been available places.

After waiting in the rain for twenty more minutes, a large taxi finally pulls over to us. "Can I help you!?"

"Yes!" Vincent replies over the rain. "I need to get my girlfriend home ASAP! She's sick!"

"All right, there's a wheelchair lift on the passenger side of the car. Hop in."

"Thanks." Vincent replies as the driver gets out and opens up the taxi door. Vincent helps me in and then sits beside me the entire ride home. He calls my home and assures my parents I'm okay since I was technically supposed to be home around an hour ago.

The moment the taxi pulls up to my home, my parents and sister rush out all at once. Mom pays the taxi fare and Dad helps me out of the car. My sister hands me a dry towel once we get inside as I hear my mother shouting at Vincent.

"DON'T YOU KNOW SHE COULD CATCH PNEUMONIA?!" I turn around and hope nothing turns out ugly. "Now get inside or you'll get sick too!"

"Yes ma'am!" Vincent states as he runs inside my house.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Vincent," Mom starts to say as she sits down at the dinner table. "I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

"I know…you were just worried for your daughter. That's all."

"Thank you for your understanding, Vincent. In the future, if it starts to rain, please call us instead. Okay?"

"I will. I promise I won't make the same mistake again." He replies.

"Thank you." Mom smiles. "Now, it's been quite the night so I think it's safe to say people in this family are tired."

Heather and Dad nod but I just stare at the food in front of my plate.

"Catherine?" I hear my mom speak but I don't respond.

Even Vincent tries knocking me away from my senses but it doesn't work. Without a word, I back up my chair from the dining table and shut myself in my room. How can I tell my family, I've lost part of my voice?

No one comes in to talk to me; no one calls my name. Good. The only one who dares to walk in (my door is a curtain; not a legit door) is Gimpy. I'm glad I don't have to be social to have Gimpy accompany me.

Even though they probably think I'm sleeping right now, I'm actually listening to their conversation.

Mom: Vincent, Catherine already knows this but you need to be careful too. Like I said, she could catch pneumonia if in the rain too long. And, unlike with other people, it could be the very thing that'll end up taking her life. Do you understand my concern?"

Vincent: Yes ma'am.

"Your dates…can't be like they were before. It's important that she stays out of the rain as much as possible, Vincent. Her body is weaker than it's ever been and if the rate of her disease continues…she w—"

Before Mom could finish her statement, Dad cuts her off. "Vanessa…I don't think we should think about the worst yet. Let's just be grateful Vincent made the responsible decision to contact us when he did. That's very noble."

"Thank you sir." I hear Vincent say but I can tell he's upset. I can hear the anguish from his voice—the self-disappointment. I can also tell he's trying to gather his thoughts because of the long silence he creates. "With all due respect, I should get going. I have work tomorrow so please tell Catherine I said I will see her later."

"I will." Mom says.

As Vincent leaves my home, I sigh. I should call him and give him a goodbye. I dial his number and place my phone up to my ear as I watch him walk down the street. He answers.

"_Catherine?" _

"Today…" I say in a low voice. It helps me to speak softly than to try and say something out loud. "I'm sorry….I caused you so much trouble…just now…about what my mother said…um…"

"_I can't hear you properly…the rain is too loud."_

"Just as I thought…" I say softly. "It's hard to hear me, isn't it?"

"_It's not like that, love. It's fine."_

"Already…it can't be like it was anymore…" I say as if a knife is piercing through my heart. "E-even though I can let you push my wheelchair…but…we can't walk together…j-just…b-because I…got wet…i-in the rain…i-it already…caused…s-such a big deal…"

"_Catherine…"_

"V-vincent…we knew…deep down inside…th-that this d-day would come…that I would start to lose my voice…and that it would make things more complicated…. We both know…that eventually…I won't be able to speak to you…I won't be able to tell you how much I love you in words alone…and…it's painful to think about… I won't…won't be able to make a phone call." I start crying but I want him to hear my pain. "It was silly…a stupid thought…to think we could ever communicate like dolphins…Already…everything is completely different…compared to our time at Hudson University. You know…you know how much I love you, Vincent…but…as painful as it is say it…I think we both know that…our worlds are completely different…and…I c-can't be responsible…for holding you back… G-goodbye Vincent… Goodbye…"

"_Catherine! You ca—"_

I end the call before I hear his response. I honestly hate myself for doing this but if I don't break up with him now…I don't think I'll ever be able to in the future. I toss my phone aside and manage to pull my knees to my chest as I start crying my heart out. It was silly to think I could ever have a normal relationship…

What do I do from here?

How can I see the other side now?

How?!

How will anything get better if I can't speak properly anymore?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I can't even sing any more. The muscles around my mouth have a kind of tic. And because of the decrease in the strength of my abdominal muscles, I can only whisper like a mosquito._

_Aya Kitou (ch. 4)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **Wow! I actually cried while writing this chapter! Ugh! Don't you just hate cliffies?! I promise there's more to come! (not the cliffies but more chapters!) Please review!


	19. When Will I be There?

**Quick Note #1**: Thank you so much for those of you who voted for the path you would like to see this fiction to go. I will keep the majority vote in mind as I'm typing but don't be surprised if something is twisted along the way. That's just how I write. Heh. Heh. Heh.

**Quick Note #2**: I screwed up the chapter system on FanFiction but now it is all fixed! I advise you to re-read the end of chapter to make sure it is the same that you already read. Thanks!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Eighteen: When Will I Be There?**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: September 14****th****, 2008**

**~Vincent's POV~**

"…_You know…you know how much I love you, Vincent…but…as painful as it is say it…I think we both know that…our worlds are completely different…and…I c-can't be responsible…for holding you back… G-goodbye Vincent… Goodbye…"_

"Catherine! You can't do this!" I scream into my phone as the rain poured restlessly. Instead of a response, I hear a dial tone in her place. "DAMMIT!" I scream as I punch the nearest tree out of retaliation. I slam my fist into its trunk multiple times as strings and strings of profanity roll off my tongue.

When my knuckles start bleeding, I stop punching the tree and take off running. I don't really care where I go, only that my feet are moving. I know I've said a thousand times that I'll be with her for as long as she wants me around but I never even considered she would kick me out of her life! Doesn't she realize how much I love her? Need her? Want her?! Did she think my affections were lies?

I find myself running up the steps to my apartment, not caring who is in my way. I knock a teen out of my way and don't even stop to check if he's all right. I merely find my apartment door and kick it open with my foot. I am so freaking angry right now, I don't even close my door. I just rush to the nearest table and throw EVERYTHING off of it! I kick my furniture down and smash things together. I feel so pathetic right now; how can this woman have such an effect on me?!

WHY CATHERINE!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU EFFING DO THIS TO ME?!

When I have nothing left to trash in the family room, I storm into my bedroom and kick over my nightstand. The top drawer falls out of its place and several things spill onto the floor. Just as I am about to thrash these things into the wall, I stop dead in my tracks. Five familiar pictures stare at me with disappointment. I carefully pick up the top photograph and look at it intently. Suddenly, a flashback of Catherine and me pops into my mind.

**||FLASHBACK||**

"_Vincent!" Catherine squealed as her boyfriend suckled the skin at the base of her throat. "Behave and face the camera for one more picture!" _

"_I will…just let me have my fun for a moment." The future doctor smirks as he grazed the nape of her neck with his teeth. He smirked when he suddenly heard her emit a moan of pleasure but didn't stop teasing her. _

"_Vincent!" _

"_All right! All right!" Vincent stated as he removed himself from his girlfriend. He turned to look at the elderly woman holding Catherine's camera before asking, "What's our last position you would like us to be in?" _

"_You two should make this last picture special…so the two of you should do whatever you want." She smiled, giving Vincent a smirk. _

"_Whatever we want, huh?" _

"_Vincent, get your mind out of the gutter!" Catherine whispered loudly. "You know that's not what she meant!" _

"_And what do you think I meant?" Vincent asked his girlfriend but she rolled her eyes. _

"_Just shut up and let us get this damn picture taken." She stated with annoyance. _

"_Hey…" Vincent whispered as he gently captured her chin with his fingers. "I'm sorry, all right?"_

_She didn't look convinced so he gulped and tried again. "I'm sorry for being such an ass… Forgive me?" _

_She stood for a moment, pretending to hesitate in forgiving her boyfriend before she gave him a small smile. "On one condition…" _

"_What?"_

"_Kiss me." Catherine whispered to him. At first, he was shocked but recovered almost immediately. _

"_Gladly." He grinned and then placed his lips gently against hers. Automatically, he embraced her into his arms as they deepened their kiss. They didn't even realize that the woman snapped their final photo while they were intimately kissing each other. When they pulled apart, the woman smiled and handed back Catherine's camera before taking her leave with her husband. _

_When they looked back at the photos, they both decided the last picture was their favorite even if it wasn't exactly something they purposely posed for. They were together and obviously in love; that's all that mattered. _

**||END OF FLASHBACK||**

I never thought I would cry like this ever again…not since 9/11… I can't lose her; I can't! But what can I do or say to change her mind; to let her know how much I want to be with her no matter what happens?!

I gather up the pictures and place them in a neat pile before fixing my nightstand. Once it is facing the right direction again, I place the photos into the top drawer and gently close it. As much as I want to find the nearest bar and drown my sorrows away, I can't. I have a feeling Catherine will call me back and tell me everything was just a lie…that she really wants me. I can't exactly respond to her if I was drunk, can I?

"What the hell happened?!" I hear JT shout from the family room. "V?! Are you here?!"

"In my room." I say loud enough for him to hear my voice. He comes in and finds me sitting on the floor against my bed.

"What the hell happened, V?" he asks as he takes a seat next to me.

"Catherine…she…she broke up with me."

"Whaaa?! How is that even possible?! Your love is like an urban legend!"

"Not helping." I say, annoyed.

"Sorry…It's just…It's hard to believe."

"What part of my being there for her for all of eternity does she not understand?" I ask but don't really expect a response.

"Well…I may not carry the XX chromosome, but maybe…she's scared, V. Maybe she's scared that you'll end up leaving her after she gets worse, so she's just trying to limit the heartbreak by ending things now." He places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Give it a few days, Vincent. I'm sure she'll call you or something."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Well…maybe it's time to move on…" JT shrugs.

Yeah. Fat chance. I will respect Catherine's decision if it's truly what she wants but I'm not going to just move on. It's completely impossible.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: October 25, 2008**

**~Catherine's POV~**

It's been a month since I broke up with Vincent and I feel like my life has been put on hold. No matter what I do, I feel completely empty. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. That will be easier to handle rather than fighting this disease. Part of me wonders if I made the wrong decision in breaking up with him but the other part of me thinks it's for the best. I can't afford to break his heart any further. Because every time his heart breaks, mine does too.

"Catherine? Are you with us this morning?" Dr. Marks asks me as he breaks me away from my thoughts.

"Y-yeah…" I say, emotionless.

I think he notices my emptiness but he doesn't say anything about it. "All right…let's start from the top. Try saying: '_My mom drove me to school fifteen minutes late on Tuesday_' as best as you can."

"M-my mom d-d-drove me t-to sch-sch-sch…I can't." I state with defeat.

"Catherine, you don't need to try to speak fast. Speak at a pace that's comfortable for you and will what you want the person you're talking with to hear. If this person is someone special to you, he or she will take the time to listen. Okay?" Dr. Marks states as if he can read my mind.

I nod and try again but speak at a slower pace. "M-my. Mom…drove me….t-to…sch-school. Fif-teen…mi-nutes…on…T-tuessss-day."

"Very good. Now try: '_The girl wore her hair in two braids, tied with two blue bows._'"

For the next thirty minutes, Dr. Marks made me work on saying specific therapy phrases to help me improve with my speech. I can't lie, after the first four or so exercises, speaking did become a little easier…I just have to really think about speaking just as much as I have to think about walking. It's tiring but how else will I be able to talk to people?

"All right…you need to continue your speech rehabilitation at your school." He says as I nod. "Are you finding anything inconvenient at the moment?"

"It…is…hard…to…produce…sound." I say in a low-toned voice.

"I see…" he sighs. "However, you're having a conversation with me, aren't you?"

I nod.

"So, like I said before, the person you want to talk to will take the time to listen if they really care about you. So don't disconnect yourself from them simply because you can't seem to speak to them properly. Okay?"

I nod but don't say anything. I don't want to hint to him that something has already happened due to my speech difficulties.

After my appointment, I leave his office and make my wheelchair go towards the elevator. I try to reach for the button but I can't extend my arm far enough to press it. I carefully try to find my phone inside my little purse but as I pull it out of its zipper pocket, it slips out of my hands and falls onto the floor and slides underneath a cabinet.

Shit.

With all of my strength, I pull myself up and try to walk towards the white medicine cabinet. Even after getting onto all fours, I still cannot extend my arms. I try as hard as I can to reach for my phone but it hurts too much to move my arm further than it can move.

"Catherine?" I hear my mother say from down the hall. "What's wrong?"

I try to sit up but my arms hurt too much from attempting to reach for my phone, so I stay where I am. "C-cell phone…"

She rushes over to me, helps me back into my chair before reaching down to grab my phone for me. "Here you are, honey."

"Th-thank. Y-you." I say but I am not happy for the fact that I had to rely on my own mother to do such a trivial thing.

She hugs me regardless and says, "Your father called; he's waiting in the parking garage for you."

I nod while she pushes the elevator button for me. I go inside the elevator and nonverbally ask my mom to come with me. It's like she can read my mind. She simply smiles, presses the 'PG' button for garage and travels down the floors with me. I may be grateful my mother is around to help me but that doesn't mean I like depending on her. Or anyone for that matter.

When Dad and I got home, I finally say something. "Wh-where. Is Hea-ther?"

"She's at the local library studying for her SATs. Ever since…last year…her attitude towards school has really turned around, Catherine. Her grades are improving and she's actually learning things besides the latest fashion tips from Seventeen Magazine."

"T-that's. Good." I say as my puppy, Gimpy, automatically hops into my lap (after several attempts of course). I hold him as best as I can since he's the only one able to give me comfort right now. "I'm…go-ing…to…take…a…nap."

Mom and Dad are taking me back to school tonight since both of them have to leave for work early in the morning tomorrow. It's better if I try to sleep now than try to sleep later when I know I won't be in my own bed. Plus, Gimpy is with me so he should be able to help me sleep more.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Time: 5:30 PM**

**~Vincent's POV~**

After a long day of solid videogame playing, JT and I decide to go to the public library to check out books on Columbia University so we can have an idea of what is in store for us next semester.

As we walk down one of the aisles, JT nudges my shoulder. "See? You can still participate in life without being with Catherine."

"You are seriously not helping right now, man." I say as I roll my eyes. "Just go and find the books you need before I decide to stuff you in the shelf instead."

"Touchy!" JT throws his hands up and leaves me to my lonesome; the last thing he wants is to piss me off. Especially right now.

Suddenly, I look to my left and I see Heather studying a rather large book. From what I remember Catherine telling me, Heather hates studying. So why now? Why the interest in hitting the books?

I walk over to her but she's too busy studying to see me. "Hey…"

She looks up from her notes and turns around. "Vincent! What a nice surprise!" Heather smiles.

"You wanna…erm…talk somewhere less…intimidating?" I ask and she laughs.

"Yeah…that probably would be best." She states. "Let's go outside."

"All right." I say. We walk out of the library's back doors and lean over its balcony. "You seem to be working really hard in there."

"Yeah…" she mutters as she looks downward. "You know…ever since…it happened…I've always wondered: Why Cat? Why didn't I get sick instead? She had so much going for her and all I had, at the time, was a dream…It should have been me…Not my sister. I guess…heh…God really likes to test people since people like my sister get this disease. Therefore…I often thought about my life. If Cat, the Chandler who had her future in the palms of her hands, can catch this disease, then what's my purpose for living? Was I born to simply watch my sister have her life slowly taken away from her?" Suddenly, she starts to awkwardly laugh as she wipes the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry…I'm such a crybaby…"

"It's okay." I say to her.

"As I was saying… I wanted to figure out where my life should be heading since Catherine never got a chance to start hers…so…you make think this is silly but I want to study as best as I can so I can get into Hudson University. I want to pick up where Cat left off at Hudson U since graduating from college is a dream Catherine couldn't fulfill. The only thing I can do, for Catherine, is this…I'm sick and tired of feeling useless around her; I'm not a doctor like my mother so I can't help her when she needs medical assistance. I can't help her when she's away at school so this is the best I can do right now…Before Cat's disease, I've taken everything for granted…I would sit around and do practically nothing all day just because I could. Now…I hate that lazy factor of me…If I have the ability to do something…the physical ability…I'm going to do it…for my sister."

I turn to look at her and place a hand on her shoulder. "You are amazing, Heather."

"Hm?"

"You may not realize it, but you and Catherine are very much alike. You both have strong hearts and perseverance. You admire your sister as much as she admires you and there's no doubt in my mind you two are sisters. Take pride in that fact, Heather."

She smiles at my compliment before saying, "If at all possible…can you keep this whole thing a secret from my parents and from Cat?"

"Heather…Catherine and I…"

"Vincent, I may be butting into something that isn't my business and Cat can bite my ass later for it but she's miserable without you. She doesn't eat as much and she's as lifeless as a robot. You need to go to her; she's waiting for you."

"Thank you for your concern, Heather. It means a lot."

"Does that mean you're going to go and see her?"

"Maybe." I say with a semi-smile. "I gotta go…my friend is waiting for me."

"Okay…have a good life if this is the last time I see you, Vincent." Heather sighs.

"You too, Heather. You too." With that, I walk back inside the library and find JT sitting at one of the tables as he waits for me.

"Ready?" He asks.

"Yeah…." I say even though my mind is somewhere else. On our way home, I stop dead in my tracks as I realize something. Both Heather and Catherine are fighters. Catherine is constantly fighting for her life and she's not giving up. Heather is fighting to keep Catherine's dream alive. So what does that say about me? I'm completely pathetic for not trying to fight for Catherine when she broke up with me. I should have fought harder despite the odds! Hell, screw what I've said in the past. I won't give up Catherine; if she thinks life without me is easier, I'll prove her wrong. I've decided I'm going to fight for her; I love her so much and she's worth the fight. I just can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it.

"V, you okay?" JT asks me as he waves his hand in front of my face.

"I've…I've gotta go." I say suddenly before turning around and dashing away from my best friend. I run as fast as possible as I near Catherine's house. I ring the doorbell like a madman and her mother finally answers.

"Vincent? What're you doing here?"

"Catherine?! Where's Catherine?!" I say between several pants.

"She's back at school."

"Thanks!" I say before taking off again, this time towards the school. I will NOT lose Catherine now! I REFUSE TO!"

**Beauty and the Beast**

**~Catherine's POV~**

Since I really don't have anything else to do, I am sitting outside and watering the school's garden. The flowers are so beautiful during this time of year. Even the leaves are splashed with dozens of colors.

"CATHERINE!" I hear my name being shouted a few hundred feet down the pavement.

I turn around and see the very person I've wanted to see for the past month run towards me. He stops running when he's about three feet in front of me and says, "It's been awhile." He takes a step closer before dropping to his knees and taking my hands in his. "I couldn't call you…so I came directly here."

I sit in silence for a few seconds before I hear the phrase Dr. Marks once said in the back of my mind:

_If this person is someone special to you, he or she will take the time to listen._

So I give my voice a try. "T-today…I…had a dream…"

He looks at me for a second before saying, "Dream?"

"Mhmm…Before…in…in my dreams…I was able to w-walk…run…and m-move ab-bout freely…. J-just like th-the first time I met you, V-vin-cent. How-ever…to-day's…dream…wasn't…the…same…I was…sit-ting…in a wheelchair…. In the dream…I was…my body was…handicapped…As…for…my body…even…if I…intend to…ad-mit…that…" I can feel pain tugging at my heart as I slowly speak to him. "Deep…in my…heart…I don't…want to admit it…. This is just me…though…right?"

I look at Vincent with sorrow-filled eyes as he stands there…trying to figure out what to say next.

"Can I…say what I'm feeling right now?" he asks so I nod. He wipes the tears off of my face before taking one of my hands and placing it on his cheek. "I don't know what the future will be like, Catherine, but as of this very moment, I cannot deny the feelings I have for you. I tried to move on when I should have fought for you, Catherine. Even when I did try to move on, I couldn't…I love you too much to give it all up. And…as long as you are saying it…no matter how slowly you say it…I'll still listen. If you can't talk over the phone, then I'll come and visit you every day just like this. I'm not a dolphin, Catherine; you, you're also not a dolphin. If you want to walk, no matter how slow it'll be…I'll walk with you…. Things cannot be the same as they were before…but we're connected, Catherine. I refuse to think we live in different worlds; I don't care what other people think about us and I definitely do not think you'd be holding me back. You have encouraged me in so many ways; if anything, you're the reason I'm able to move forward. You give me strength to be able to persevere and hold onto the things that are dear to me. I love you, Catherine and I cannot see my life without you."

I start crying so he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a much needed hug. I will myself to wrap my arms around him and whisper, "Thank you" into his ear. When we pull apart from our embrace, I feel his lips pressing against mine; it's almost like we never separated.

"I…l-love y-you." I whisper to him. "I…l-love y-you…so m-much."

"Me too, Catherine. Me too." He whispers. I hope that as my road gets harder to travel, he'll be right here beside me helping me continue my path of life. I wonder...just how much longer do I have before I die... When will I be there? When?

Just as we are about to lean in for another kiss, I clutch my abdomen and wail in pain.

"Catherine! What's wrong?!" Vincent asks with a worried expression.

"I don't kn—OW!" For whatever reason, my abdomen is cramping like crazy and it is super uncomfortable.

"Catherine!"

"I think…I need…to go use…the b-bathroom." I say. I feel like I've just peed my pants—a massive pee. Vincent rushes me towards the lobby and, thinking of only me, he pushes my wheelchair into the Women's restroom. I stand up from my chair and start to walk forwards. Unfortunately, I lose my balance and I fall straight to the floor, hitting my head on the corner of the sink's counter and the last thing I see is a pond of blood seeping out of my head as Vincent cries out my name.

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

_In front of the school, there is a wall._

_The morning light dawns upon the wall._

_One day, when I look up, the wall will quietly sigh._

_This wall represents my disability,_

_Even if I scream aloud or cry out, it won't disappear._

_But at the moment that the sun is shining, _

_Doesn't it also shine on this wall?_

_~Aya Ikeuchi: Episode 09~_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **I decided to end the chapter here simply because it is 1 AM in the morning and I'm super tired. Please let me know what you think!


	20. When is My Time to End?

**NOTE: **For future references, I am not a doctor nor medically inclined. Anything I use for my fanfictions involving medical procedures or terms are thoroughly researched. However, that doesn't mean I won't be wrong. I try my best to make it seem as real as possible but if any chapter doesn't seem authentic to you, please let me know! I want to make the reading experience as real as I can so please feel free to correct me if anything seems incorrect to you. Thank you for everything you've done so far! :)

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Nineteen: When is My Time to End?**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: October 26, 2008**

I finally open my eyes and see white walls everywhere. The air smells like a mixture of rubber gloves and…something else. For some reason, something tells me I don't want to find out what this other smell is. Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted off of something and then placed on something stiff and hard. I slightly turn my head over to my left and notice a nurse collecting sheets off of the bed I apparently was on. I widen my eyes as I see the numerous amounts of bloodstains on those sheets as she throws them into a bin. Another nurse starts cleaning and disinfecting that bed while I am being carried out of that room and into the hallway. I hear myself mumbling something but I can't understand what I'm saying.

Am I complaining about the bright lights?

The dizziness I currently feel?

What am I saying?!

It's like I'm trapped inside of my trapped soul.

I want to know what happened! Why was there so much blood?

WHY?!

Suddenly, it's like God heard my prayer because my senses started working again. Sound floods back into my ears and I can hear everything that's happening around me. Nurses and doctors rushing to their stations. People crying from loss of their loved ones. Babies wining after being born. Nothing goes unnoticed.

The gurney stops and I am lifted again before placed onto another bed. Seconds later, my family rushes in with Vincent and Dr. Marks along with another doctor. Mom, Dad and Heather sit in chairs to my left and Vincent sits to my right as he locks his fingers with mine. Finally, I manage to say something. "W-what. Hap-pened?"

Why do I sound so loopy? No wonder everything felt incredibly numb earlier. I was drugged!

I carefully turn to look at my mom but she doesn't answer me. I can tell by the look on her face that something serious must have happened.

"Catherine," the stranger says, "I'm Dr. Engles."

I give her a weird look like she's speaking in a foreign language. How am I supposed to know why she's here?

"I specialize in gynecology and obstetrics." She states. "I was in charge of your surgery."

"S-s-suh-guhr-reee?" My doped voice responds as I look at everyone in the room. "Whaht…s-suh-guhr-ree?"

"Catherine, honey," Mom places her hand on my arm, "there's no easy way to tell you this but…you're in the hospital because you suffered from a miscarriage."

I give her a funny look. "A m-m-miss-carriahge?! I…I was…I wasn't…preg-nant." These people are delirious. There's NO WAY I could have been pregnant! One: Vincent and I hadn't really had sex in the last month! Two: I'm pretty sure he and I were very careful when we were sleeping together. There's just absolutely no way! No! I couldn't have been pregnant! That's absolutely ludicrous!

"Unfortunately, Catherine," Dr. Marks states with a grave tone in his voice, "You were approximately 12 weeks pregnant. Because of your small stature and of your condition, there were…other complications."

"No…y-you're wrong…I w-wasn't preg-nant!" I can tell that the more I speak, the more I feel like the dope effects are wearing off. "Y-you're j-joking!"

"Catherine, love," Vincent tightens his grip on my hand, "No one is joking here." I look at him and then trade looks with everyone else in the room. Suddenly, I remembered Dr. Mark's comment about 'other complications.'

I take a large gulp of air as I feel tears starting to stream down my face. "W-what. C-compli-cation's?"

"During your pregnancy, the embryo attached itself onto your right fallopian tube rather than your uterus." Dr. Engles states.

"I. don't. understand." What is she trying to say?!

"Honey," Mom takes a deep breath before continuing her statement, "you had something called an Ectopic Pregnancy…it went unnoticed because you didn't know you were pregnant. Since the fallopian tube is not made to expand like the uterus, it ruptured…and required extensive surgery."

"H-how ex-tensive?"

"Catherine," Dr. Marks's voice sounds deadly serious, "you flat-lined twice."

My eyes widen. I died? Twice?! I had my chance to leave this Hell on Earth only to be brought back to dwell in it?! What cruel fate is this?!

"You're not to be removed from this bed for at least a month. Because of your condition, it is important to monitor you day and night and make sure this miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy did not cause further damage." Dr. Marks continues to say. "Visiting hours are almost up so quickly say your goodnights; Catherine needs to rest up and regain her strength."

"D-doctor. Marks?" I mutter lowly as I try to reach for his lab coat. He notices my efforts and turns his attention to me before raising his eyebrows. "I want. Vin-cent. To stay. W-with me."

Even though I can tell he really wants to advise against it, he finally lets out a sigh and scratches the back of his neck. "Very well."

"T-thank. You." I say before he walks out of the room. Somehow, I have a feeling he's going to lecture me (and possibly Vincent) later about something. He just has that…look.

"Sleep well, my sweet, sweet daughter." Mom says after she kisses my forehead. "If you need anything at all, we're just a phone call away."

I nod slowly as my family leaves Vincent and me alone in the hospital room. He scoots his chair closer to my hospital bed and leans to kiss my forehead. "I love you," he whispers close to my ear. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

"Vin-cent…" I say weakly. "This…will….only…b-be…the…first…of…hos-pit-al…vis- its."

He takes my hand and brushes his thumb across the top of my hand. "Catherine…we need to talk."

"What's…w-wrong?" Why does he have eyes full of anguish?

"I think…after what's happened today…we should stop having sex. I can't risk losing you to something that can be easily avoided. Not now; not ever!" he says before kissing my temple. "Now…you mentioned once that you want to have a baby…is that…is that still what you want?"

I weakly shake my head. "I…th-thought…it…over…once...more…and…de-ci-ded…a- gainst...it…" He sits back down in his chair and looks up at me, curious to why I changed my mind. "I…r-real-lized…I…w-would be…a…hor-ri-ble…moth-er."

"No…" he caresses my cheek. "I think…I think you would make a great mother, Catherine. You're a very strong and loving woman; a combination worthy of any mother."

Suddenly, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. "B-b-but…I…I…k-killed…o-our…ba-by…."

"Shhhhhh…" he wipes his thumbs under my eyes. "It wasn't your fault, love. Things happen."

"Y-yes…it…was!" I exclaim as everything starts to sink in. I murdered our child! A child I could have brought into this world! "The…b-baby…c-couldn't…sur-vive…b-because of…me! I…I killed our…baby!" I lied to Vincent when I told him I changed my mind. I still want a baby, I always have…but…but sometimes…it's for the best I keep my desires to myself…to prevent things like this from happening. Vincent wraps his arms around me as he tries to console me but I can't help but cry into his arms.

I never thought losing someone you've never met would hurt so much. I may not have known I was pregnant but when I found out…after the miscarriage…I couldn't help but hate myself for killing someone I have always wanted to love. After what felt like hours of crying, my throat burns and my head feels like someone ripped it open, took out my brain and stuffed it with cotton balls. I feel so empty…I knew I would lose a lot of things in my life but I never anticipated something like this. NEVER.

At one point, sometime after I had stopped crying, Vincent stands up and stretches his back. He starts to leave but I find myself reaching over and grabbing his sleeve. He turns back around and gives me a kiss on my unscathed side of my forehead. "I'll be right back, love. I promise."

"D-don't…d-don't leave…" I say dryly.

"Okay…I won't." He sits back down and lays his head down on my leg as he holds my hand in his. "Just get some rest, yeah?"

"I don't…think…I can…"

"I'll be right here, Catherine. I promise. I won't leave this very chair." He whispers. "I'll always be here."

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: October 23, 2008**

It's been an entire month since I've been admitted into the hospital and Mom is packing up my things so I can return to NYSD to finish up the semester. Because of my recent hospitalization, Vincent and I decided to set some ground rules once we both were mentally recovered from…the miscarriage. Since we have been sexually active for a little more than a year, we've decided it was best to stop making love to avoid the obvious. We also decided that while Vincent was going to grad school in the upcoming semester, he would make an effort to see me every weekend instead of only for a few times a month. He really wants to make an effort to be with me as much as possible in case…things go south. It took me several days to finally get over the fact that I lost a baby—even if I didn't know I was pregnant…

"Caaaat!" I hear my sister exclaim as she pops into my hospital room. "I have a surprise for you!"

I look at her in confusion until I hear I tiny bark echo from the doorway. I smile instantly as Heather brings my puppy dog to me. He licks my face and wags his tail murderously as she holds him in front of me. Since Heather has been taking care of Gimpy while I've been away at school, I think she's kind of grown on him. She'll actually touch him now.

I slowly bring my hands to his round body and try to hold him. Unfortunately, my grip isn't strong enough to keep him midair. Heather waits until I draw my hands back to my body before she places him into my cradled arms. I lower my head to kiss his fur when Dad walks into the room. "All of your things except the bag your mother is packing are in the car, Catherine. Are you sure you don't want to stay at home for the weekend?"

I nod my head to answer his question before I slowly place my feet on the floor. Dad quickly rushes over to help me into my wheelchair before Mom hands him my last suitcase. "Everything's all set!"

"Where. Is. Vin-cent?" I ask my family in a low pitched voice. Over the past month, my voice has gotten much lower and I'm starting to talk as slow as Danielle when I first met her. I swear, my voice sounds like I've been smoking for the past ten years. It's THAT hoarse.

"He's going to meet us at your school, sweetie." Mom smiles. "He wants to take you somewhere once your things are in your dorm."

"O-kay."

Without further ado, we leave my hospital bedroom knowing that one day, I'll be back here.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"All right, Catherine; we'll see you later!" Mom calls out to me as Heather and Dad wave with Gimpy in his arms.

I wave back and wait for them to leave the premises before I hear a comforting voice. "Sorry I'm a little late, love. Traffic was a bitch."

I move forward towards him and smile. "That's. O-K. | I. Knew. you. Would. Not. In-tent-ion-al-ly. Be. Late." He leans down and kisses me before handing me a bouquet of flowers. I hold them in my arms and sniff their many petals. "Thank. You."

He grins and starts pushing me away from the campus. "Up for a bite to eat?"

I nod before looking up at the sky. I wonder…when I die…will I be able to see the clouds from my resting place? I know what my future has in store for me but…not knowing when this disease will take my life is killing me. When is my time to end? Is it too much to ask for? Is it too much to want to know just how much time I have left so I can spend every waking moment with the people I love…so I won't regret anything?

"What are you thinking about?" Vincent asks me, catching me off guard.

"Ummm…the…s-sky." I wish I can just tell him the truth but I don't want him to be sad. I'm tired of breaking his heart all of the time. I wish I could just tell him every word that's on my heart but despite it being depressing, it's too many words to roll off my tongue. Talking is frustrating so I try to say as little as possible. It's frustrating and tiring. I just wish he was telepathic. That would make life easier. Wouldn't it?

"It is beautiful today, isn't it?"

"In-deed." I say as we continue to head towards the subway station entrance. "It. Is. In-deed."

For the next couple of hours, Vincent and I mainly walk (roll) about the streets of New York City to enjoy the beautiful fall day. It's days like these I wish I can just extract from my mind and re-watch them in days to come. Eventually, after a long day of strolling everywhere, Vincent and I eventually find a solitary place in Central Park to have a picnic dinner.

"You're am-azing, Vincent." I smile after finishing my last piece of chicken. "How. Do. You. Do. It?"

"What do you mean?" He asks while he starts to clean up.

"I. Ne-ver. Said. A-ny-thing. A-bout. A. P-pic-nic. Din-ner." I reply. "How. Do. You. Al-ways. Seem. To. Know. What. I Want?"

He takes my hands in his and kisses my knuckles gently. "I pay attention." He leans in and kisses me softly before picking me up into his arms. As gently as possible, he places me on the blanket he had set out earlier before joining me. I manage to place my head on Vincent's chest and he pulls me closer to him. "Catherine…"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you…" he whispers into my ear. "So much."

I turn to face him as I manage to place my hand on his scarred cheek. "Vin-cent. I-I. Want. You. To. Pro-mise. Me. Some-thing."

"What?" he asks with pain in his voice and expression.

I decide to wait to ask him because I don't want him to hurt… "N-never…mind."

He nods and kisses my cheek before we turn back to watch the stars. I love him…but when I die…who will be there to take care of him when I'm gone?

**Beauty and the Beast**

When I got back to my dorm, Danielle is sleeping in her bed so I quietly pull out my diary and my pen so I can write in it.

_**Diary,**_

_**10/23/2008**_

_**Released from H. today. **_

_**Good 2 B back school. **_

_**V & I had date today. It was nice. Refreshing. **_

_**I love him so much…He = my life. **_

_**Wish I can talk 2 him more…tell him the words on my heart…**_

_**Hope he will B w/ me after I lose voice completely.**_

_**B/c that will B when I will need him most. **_

_**~C**_

I put my diary away and crawl to my bed before I eventually fall asleep, entering a different world than my suckish reality.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_My speech disorder is becoming more conspicuous. When it comes to conversation, both parties now need lots of time and patience. I can't say, "Er, excuse me . . ." while trying to pass someone. I can't have a proper conversation unless both the person I'm trying to talk to and I prepare ourselves for listening and talking. I can't even express moments of pleasure by saying things like "The sky is beautiful. The clouds look like ice cream."  
I get very frustrated.  
I get annoyed.  
I feel miserable.  
I feel sad.  
And, in the end, tears fall from my eyes._

_(Aya Kitou ~ Ch. 4)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **I know it was a shorter chapter and probably not up to your expectations but I've been SUPER busy this week from babysitting and helping with my church's VBS. I hope you enjoyed this chapter all the same because next chapter will be a 'three years' later chapter. :) I suspect there will be at least five or so more chapters to go. Not sure though. Anyhoo, enough with my babbling. Please review! I would like to know your thoughts on this story so far!

BTW, if any of you are going to ComicCon, I hope you have fun! I unfortunately am poor and can't get over to San Diego. :(

Oh well.

Happy Days!


	21. I'm Still Searching for My Golden Fields

**Author's Note: **In case I didn't address it earlier, Catherine is four years older than Heather. So, in the past chapters, while Catherine was a sophomore at NYSD, Heather was a sophomore in high school. I cannot remember nor can I find any place where I've mentioned Heather and Catherine's age difference but in case I did, let me know because this is the right age difference! :)

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty: I'm Still Searching for My Golden Fields**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: May 14, 2010**

"I…F-f-found…a-a…g-g-gold…c-coin…on…the…p-playgr-g round…a-after…sch-school…t-to-d-day."

"Very good." Dr. Marks says to me after I finish saying what he wants me to say. "Now, I want you to produce an 'ah' sound for as long as possible."

Mom and Dad are sitting beside me as I follow Dr. Mark's orders. Since my health has declined quite a bit, they want to ensure my appointments are going as well as they can. Plus, it's crucial for them to be present because they'll have to start taking care of me more once I graduate from NYSD next week.

"A-ahhhh…ahhhh….ahhhh—" Before I could continue with my ah's, I start coughing. Dr. Marks helps me raise my arm to open up my airway more so I can breathe. Eventually, I stop coughing and sit up in pain. I cough a lot more now and my throat starts burning after each episode. I hate it! I absolutely hate it!

"Catherine, you're having more difficulty in producing higher pitched sounds. And, as you have just experienced, the more you talk, the harder it is for you to breathe without pausing frequently. It's gotten to the point where your sound is starting to sound more like a breath rather than a voice at all. I don't mean to upset you, Catherine, but I suspect that you'll lose full use of your vocal cords sometime within the year. You're disease has progressed so fast that there's no telling when you'll completely lose your voice but just be prepared when it does happen."

I nod in response as Mom asks, "Anything else, Dr. Marks?"

"Not at the moment. If I think of anything, I promise to call you immediately. I would like to see her again next Sunday at the same time." Dr. Marks states as he points to his calendar. "Will that be all right?"

"It shouldn't be a problem." Dad replies while Mom opens the door for me. I move my lever forward once I'm aligned with the door and head out of Dr. Mark's office.

I can't believe it's been almost three years since my diagnosis. It seems like yesterday since I started college at Hudson University.

Strange isn't it? How so much can happen within three years yet it feels like it all happened within seconds. Over the past few years, my voice has gotten hoarser and it's getting harder to produce constant sounds. I really have to think in order to get my message across.

As for my movements? I still can walk but I have to take baby steps and hold on to a beam for dear life if I don't want to fall. Dr. Marks told me that when I stop walking, I won't even be able to hold my own weight. No matter what is going on with me physically, I still make an effort to write in my diary as often as I can.

Even if it hurts like hell, I still write.

Next Thursday is my graduation from NYSD; I have done all I can at that school and there's nothing left for me there. Once I graduate, I will be living at home for as long as I can before I'll have to be hospitalized for the rest of my life.

As Mom and Dad drop me off at NYSD's entrance, my tall, handsome boyfriend waves to me. He walks up to the van and helps me out of my seat by picking me up into his arms and then plopping me into my wheelchair. It has become almost a routine for him to meet me here on Sundays after my appointment. We've made it a weekly priority to visit Inwood Hill Park so we can spend time together. He has grad school during the week and I have…well…I have NYSD. So, Sundays have become our special days to spend our time together.

Every once and a while, Tess stops by to see me but her visits went from once a week to once every three months. She says she's just super busy but somehow I'm not convinced. If she cared enough, wouldn't she take the time and effort to visit me more often?

"Remember, Vincent," Dad states, "If it starts to rain, find shelter and call us immediately."

"Don't worry, Mr. Chandler. I promise to watch after your daughter." Vincent says to my father as he places his hand on top of my shoulder.

"I'll hold you to that, young man."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from New York's finest lawyer." Vincent smirks. Dad simply rolls his eyes as he rolls the window back up. Mom and Dad wave to me before they leave to go home. Before anything else is said, Vincent and I share a quick kiss. "How was your appointment?"

"D-doc-tor…M-m-marks…s-said…I…w-will…m-m-most…like -ly…l-lose…m-my…en-t-tire…v-voice…w-w-with-i-in…th e…y-y-year." I reply very slowly.

"That soon, huh?" Vincent looks at me sadly as he laces kneels down to his knees and takes my hands in his.

"Y-yeah…"

He brings my hands up to his lips as he presses feathered kisses on my knuckles. "Catherine," he places my hand against his face before continuing. "Whenever you do lose your ability to speak, please know I'm here for you. Okay?"

I smile. "I…K-know." We share another kiss together before we finally decide to leave for Inwood Hill Park.

I wonder if anyone could really know how much I love this man. He has always been there for me and is willing to do anything to be with me…even sacrificing his study time. If my boyfriend was any other man, would he still be like Vincent? Or would I not even have a boyfriend? I guess I'll never know.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: Thursday, May 20****th****, 2010**

Unlike typical schools, NYSD's graduation ceremony is quite different. Instead of having this huge convocation where all of the graduates are individually recognized, the families and close friends of the students are invited to this open house kind of ordeal where they get to walk around the hallways and look at all of the students' works. Then, sometime during our little exhibit, the principal, Mrs. Reilly and Miss Peterson will find us (well, will find me) and will hand me my certificate.

I look all around me and see at least fifty or so other people walking along the halls with their handicapped family member. It seems like yesterday when I walked into these doors and met Danielle.

For the longest time, she was my best friend. We understood each other and she always was watching out for me just as much as I was watching out for her. Unfortunately, last fall, she passed away from an infection. I'm not entirely sure how she got it or which infection it was but regardless, her death broke my heart.

So, even if I don't really want to do this graduation, I'm doing it for her. Since she couldn't ever reach this point, I'm finishing for her. Just as I am about to move on ahead as my parents look at the bulletin board with my works on it, Miss Peterson and Mrs. Reilly appear.

"Here you are, Catherine!" Miss Peterson smiles as she hands me my certificate. "Congratulations on completing the program!"

"T-t-thank…y-you…v-ve-r-ry…m-much." I say with a smile.

"Thank you for everything you've done for our daughter." Mom says as she shakes my teacher and principal's hands.

"Your daughter is a very special young woman." Miss Peterson replies. "If you haven't yet, I highly suggest you take a look at her writings. They are phenomenal."

"We certainly will." Dad grins and also shakes their hands.

"Terrific." Miss Peterson nods before she and Mrs. Reilly hurry off to the next graduate.

Suddenly, I see my sister running towards us from down the hallway as she exclaims my name with excitement. I wonder what she's so happy about. When she arrives, I say, "I…th-thought…y-you…w-were…b-b-busy…"

"I was…" Heather squeals as she jumps up and down as if she can't wait to jump to the moon. "But when I received something in the mail, I had to come here directly and tell you!"

"W-w-what?"

She pulls out a folded letter and flashes it in front of my face. "Voilaaaaaa!"

"What is it, Heather?" Dad asks.

"You are looking at my first college acceptance letter! Guess what, Cat?!"

I look at her like she's a crazy woman but she doesn't seem to care just how…embarrassing…she's acting right now.

"You're looking at Hudson University's NEWEST Chandler addition to their roster!" Heather smiles widely. "I'll get to carry on your dream and graduate from there in four years!"

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. "Because of everything you are, Cat, you have inspired me to do so much with my life! Now I can show everyone at that school just how awesome a Chandler really is!"

I can feel tears starting to form in my eyes as I process this news. Who would have guessed that my little sister would actually be accepted into a college? Certainly not me.

I'm so glad I am still able to pass on a dream that I had to give up. Heather is the best sister anyone could possibly ask for. "By the way, sis, where's the hubby-wannabe?"

"If you're referring to Vincent, Heather, he's still in school so he couldn't make it to her graduation ceremony." Mom says. "Although, he's coming later for her mini party we're holding for her."

"Coolio!" Heather grins. Without another word, all four of us make it over to the bulletin board with my writings on it. We all stand (sit) in silence as we read my poems. One of them was the one I wrote my sophomore year but I focused more on my favorite one yet: _Only Human_.

_Even though I cry_

_And rain falls from the sky_

_On the other side_

_The sun keeps shining bright_

_Somewhere far beyond_

_Is where I'm meant to be?_

_I wonder what will be waiting for me._

_I wish I could have done more things_

_Instead, I ran way_

_I want to keep chasing my dreams_

_Like I was on that warm summer day._

_If I could have seen what tomorrow brings?_

_I would not have been able to breathe_

_Right now, I will need to keep moving forward_

_Like a boat pushing through a current_

_Even when I'm sad_

_I long for happiness_

_When I close my eyes_

_I see the other side_

_When will I be there?_

_When is my time to end?_

_I am still searching for my golden fields_

_As I expect for the sun to come_

_And I clench my fists as I wait_

_My palms bleed since the sun never comes_

_And my tears start to fall down my cheeks_

_As the moon starts to shine from the horizon_

_I am used to my loneliness_

_I will fly away, even though I have no wings_

_I promise I will move on ahead_

_Up in the dark sky,_

_I hope a raincloud bursts_

_Then the wet roads will start to shine_

_As the darkness keeps on whispering to me_

_I will keep heading towards the light_

_I will keep_

_Moving on_

_As I fight_

I know it isn't my BEST poem but I love it all the same. I know there isn't a true rhythmic sequence like other poems of mine but I really don't care. I think its disorganization reflects the messiness of my disease. In a few weeks, Miss Peterson will mail my work to me so I can put them into my diary along with all of my other secrets. Maybe one day I'll share my diary with Vincent so at least one person can read them.

As we leave the campus, I cannot help but look back at the school one last time. As Dad puts my things into the car and Mom approaches me, I say softly, "I…w-wond-der…d-do…I…h-have…a-anywh-where…to…g-go… to…a-aft-ter…th-this?"

I think Mom must have heard me because I can hear her sniffling from behind me. I hate making other people cry…but…it's just one of those consequences I have to endure while fighting this disease.

When we finally arrive home, Gimpy hobbles to me and licks my hands since he can no longer sit in my lap. I'm so proud at how strong he's gotten. He may not have full use of one of his legs but he has been able to jump on things and run as fast as four-leggers. If only I could improve like him.

When I went to Hudson University, I thought I would graduate there with high honors…I never thought I would be who I am today. It's funny how the plans you've created for the rest of your life can completely change overnight.

"Why don't you rest up before your little party?" Mom suggests to me as Dad and Heather start rearranging the furniture for tonight's guests.

Instead of giving her a simple yes or no, I nod my head and head towards my room. Even though I don't really want a party, Mom insists I have one. She said it would be a good thing if my friends from Hudson University see how I'm doing. I disagree completely…but…voicing my opinion would be futile. My life is already being controlled anyways. So having my parents control me too isn't much of a change for me.

They say fate is written in the stars…Maybe God didn't give humans the power to decipher the stars because our futures are supposed to remain a mystery. Let's face it; who would want to find out they're never going to reach the age of thirty? Certainly not me.

I guess that's what makes life so precious…the mystery of life gives us the incentive to make our days even more special with the people we love.

I wonder if life will be better later on. Like…will I be able to accept my fate with good graces and still be able to smile like Danielle? Will something great come out of something awful? I wonder if I'll be able to find my own fields of gold throughout this mess. Something good must happen right?

Right?

**Beauty and the Beast**

The time of my party finally comes but I do not dare leave my room no matter how many times my parents beg. The more time progresses, the more I feel like this party is a super bad idea. I lie on my bed and face the opposite side of the room as Gimpy sleeps against my back. I really don't want to see people right now… Why can't my parents accept that?

Suddenly, my bedroom door opens and closes before I feel Gimpy hopping off the bed. Seconds later, a pair of strong arms wraps around me and pulls me close to the owner's body. He kisses the back of my head before placing his chin against the crook of my neck. "Hey beautiful…"

"H-h-hey…"

He manages to roll me onto my back before pressing his lips hungrily against mine. As much as I would love to wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him forever, I can't. All I can do is let him do the "talking".

"Why aren't you out there spending time with your family and friends?" Vincent asks me as he pulls me even closer to him.

"I…d-d-don't…f-feel…like…it."

"What if I am with you the entire time? Will you feel better going out there?"

I shake my head. "Y-you…d-d-don't…u-under-st-stand…"

"Then help me." He whispers into my ear before planting a kiss on my forehead. "Help me understand, love." I look away from him as I try to keep my tears from falling but he notices my anguish pretty quickly. "Catherine, what's wrong?"

I don't answer.

"Catherine?" He pulls my chin with his thumb and forefinger until I am aligned with his face. "Honey, what's bothering you?"

As a tear finally cascades down my cheek, I know it's too late to hide my heart from my love. He helps me sit up as he pulls me into a strong and safe embrace before I answer him. "I…I…d-don't…w-w-want…them…t-to…b-be…here."

"Why not?"

"B-be-c-cause…I…I…d-don't…w-want…a-a-an-yone…t-to… s-see…me…l-l-like…this…" I say as I start crying into his shirt.

He rocks me back and forth within his arms as he kisses the top of my head. "Catherine, understand your pain but I think you should go out there and see everyone. I know you don't want people to see how much you've regressed but they care about you as much as your family and I care for you too. Don't let your disease win this fight, love. Go out there and show your disease what you're made of."

"Th-that's…n-not…it…Vin-c-cent." I force myself to say. "I…d-don't…w-w-want…th-them…t-to…r-r-rem-memb-ber… m-m-me…like…th-this."

"Catherine, your body may be affected by this disease but your heart and mind aren't. Believe it or not, your body is not what defines you, my love. And I have to believe that your family members and your friends believe that too. If they loved you for your looks, then they are missing out on the most wonderful woman in the history of the world. After my brothers died, one thing plagued my mind: Why didn't I do enough with them? The three of us were busy but we still could have made the time to actually spend time together. Time is precious, my love but the people we spend it with is even more sacred."

I nod against his chest as my tears soak into his shirt.

"So how about we go out there and face the world together?" Vincent asks as he cups my face. "I promise I'll punch anyone who gives you dirty looks or mistreats you in anyway."

I start laughing a little to his remark and nod. "I…w-w-would…l-like…th-that…v-v-very…m-much."

"Good." Vincent smiles before giving me another kiss. How is it that I ended up with the most intuitive boyfriend in the world? I don't understand it but he seems to know exactly what I'm feeling and finds ways to console me. Maybe Vincent is my field of gold…I can't believe I've been so blind to it but HE is my "something great". He always has been and I feel horrible for not seeing it before. He's my foundation on this earth and I wouldn't know what to do without him.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**May 27****th****, 2010**

Today is Vincent's last day of classes for the spring semester and he's invited me to attend lunch with him after giving me a tour of the campus.

"I'm glad you were able to come today." Vincent smiles as he brushes his thumb across my knuckles. "It really means a lot to me."

"Y-y-you…a-are…a-a-always…th-there…f-for…me…. | I…w-want-ted…t-to…b-b-be…th-there…f-for…y-you." I smile before he leans in to kiss me.

"Well, I'm honored you're here." He whispers into my ear as I suddenly remember one of the reasons I wanted to see him. Slowly, I dig into my bag and pull out a lavender-scented envelop to hand to him.

"What's this?"

"I-i-inv-vit-tat-tion." I say. He takes it from my hand and reads it out loud:

_Miss Chandler & Family, _

_Richard Parkington & Emily Peterson together with their parents, request the honor of your presence at the ceremony of their union on June 12, two thousand ten at 3:00 in the afternoon. Each family member is welcome to bring a significant other if they so choose. We hope to see you on this very special day!_

"Do you want me to go with you?" Vincent asks after he finishes reading the rest of the invitation. I nod my head and smile.

"P-pl-please?" I plead him as he squeezes my hands within his.

"I would be honored." He replies before slipping the invitation into my bag. "I even have a tucks hanging in the back of my closet for events like these."

"G-g-good." I say as someone approaches us.

"Keller, is she the girl you've been bragging about for the past two years?"

Vincent turns to look at this stranger and grins. "Yep! She's the one!"

"She…certainly isn't what I expected." He replies.

"And what exactly did you expect, Ty?" Vincent asks with a creepily happy look on his face.

"W-what I mean to say is, V, is that she's much prettier than I had her pegged for!" Ty defends himself.

"Uh-huh…sure…" Vincent rolls his eyes before standing up and grabbing ahold of my wheelchair's handles. Instead of having me use the control stick, he manually moves me away from the table we were sitting at. "Now if you excuse me, Ty, my girlfriend and I still have some things to do and see."

"No problem, man…" Ty replies but Vincent seems to have ignored him. We both know what Ty was really thinking; yet, no matter how strong the truth is, neither of us says a word. Instead, Vincent escorts (if that's the right word to use anyways) me to a different location where we wouldn't be disturbed by the other students.

As Vincent talks about the school's history, I look around and see at least three or so couples walking around the campus and holding hands. It saddens me that I can't even hold his hand properly without something feeling uncomfortable. I really wish I could be more to him and do more with him but all I can do is be there with him…but is that ever enough?

As we leave the school, two students approach Vincent as they call out his name. "Keller!"

Vincent stops pushing me and turns toward his friends (at least I think they are friends of his) with a curious look. "Yes?"

Before they say what they want to say, they look at me judgingly and shake their heads. "N-nothing...Carry on." Afterwards, they ran as fast as they could away from us, making me feel like I'm such a horrible burden on Vincent. Do people not see him the same as I see him?

"Don't worry about those d-bags. They're freshman at this school and don't know anything." Vincent says to me. I sit in silence as he starts pushing me again before I finally say something that's been etching on my heart.

"I…w-wond-der…w-why…p-peop-ple…c-can…w-walk…."

"Hm?"

"Th-they…don't…th-think…ab-bout…it…. | So…I w-wonder…a-about…the…th-things…th-they…can…do…per- haps…w-while…they…are…walking…"

"Like what?" Vincent asks me as he pulls my wheelchair over to the side of the road.

"Wh-when…l-lov-vers…are…w-walking…to-gether…, th-they…must…b-be…thin-king…a-about…their…f-f-futu re….| R-right?"

Vincent looks down to the ground and nods his head. "That's…quite the theory."

"I-it…is…isn't…it?" I say out loud even though I want to really say the thoughts on my own heart. Thoughts like: What is my future like? Will I be with Vincent until I die? Will he want to even be with me when I am finally hospitalized? "T-thank…y-you, …V-vinc-cent…f-for…al-ways…b-being…th-there…f-for… me."

"I will always be there for you, Catherine Chandler." Vincent says before leaning down to give me a chaste kiss. "I promise."

After Vincent drops me off at my home, I go straight to my room to write in my diary. When I manage to pull it out, I grab my pen and, using both of my hands, I start writing fluent sentences on the page.

_**6/6/10**_

_**Vincent & I toured his school & had lunch date. It was fun!**_

_**Aside from going out w/ V, I am unhappy at home. Mom & Dad try to make my room comfortable to live in…which is nice but not needed. **_

_**I don't want a place that's comfortable to live in. From now on, I will be thinking about I am to continue living…**_

_**No matter where I am…I am in pain…lots and lots of emotional and physical pain…and it scares me. I am tired of being scared. I want to be somewhere that will help me learn to live with the abilities that I have.**_

_**Is that too much to ask for? **_

_**Is it?**_

_**~C**_

I place my diary on my dresser before leaving my room to see if anyone is home. No matter what I feel, it's important to let my family feel special because they're the ones who will be losing me in the end.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_Recently I've been feeling something strange. Sometimes my vision gets blurry and my brain starts to reel. The shape of my right foot has also changed. The joint of my big toe is protruding and the other toes are kind of flat. I feel disgusted thinking that this is my foot. Now I'm 149 centimeters tall and weigh 36 kilograms. I hope my foot won't lose the strength to support my body._

_(Aya Kitou, Ch. 4)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **I know this chapter jumped around a lot but I hope it all still made sense! :) I don't really have anything to say other than the fact that this story probably has 5 or so more chapters. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed it and PLEASE REVIEW! I cannot stress that enough! I really need input to see what people like and do not like for future VinCat stories. Do you guys like AUs?

Thanks!

Also, if you noticed any typos or something that seems off, please let me know via private message! :)


	22. As I Expect for the Sun to Come

**Author's Note #1: **From lack of reviews (thanks to those who did review!) for the last chapter, I sense people are not enjoying this story? Or at least did not enjoy the last chapter? Please let me know if there's something bothering you about this story! Reviews can be constructive criticism too! :)

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**Author's Note #2: **At this point in the story, Catherine will be having a much harder time trying to pronounce words. Her statements will be slurred and appear as if she's drunk. We all know she isn't. :( In any case, for those of you who may have a hard time reading her statements, I will have a **["statement"]**next to her quotes so you can understand what she's saying. (think of it as subtitles if you will) ^_^

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**Author's Note #3: **I saw on the BATBSDCC 2013 panel on YouTube that Jay Ryan (Vincent Keller/ Beast) occasionally reads Fanfictions (at least he has read them in the past). Let's just say my mind is BLOWN b/c I thought it was like against actors' code to read the fanfiction that's out there. I guess not! XD

**Favorite J.R. quote about BATB FanFiction**: "It's saucy!"

**Panel link: **YOUTUBE + [**watch?v=Ev3Woa_5uo8**] at end of link. The comment about fanfiction is about 21 minutes in! I suggest you watch it in your spare time if you haven't already. Lots of scoops and hilariousness! :)

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-One: As I Expect for the Sun to Come**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**June 3, 2010**

Even though Vincent's school year is finished until the fall, we don't spend as much time together as we used to. He's busy earning a living so he won't go bankrupt during the school year and I'm either cooped up at home or at the hospital. In all honesty, it's tiring! That's why I've made a big decision that my parents are going to kill me for (if this disease doesn't kill me first) because it involves me not being at home anymore.

Just as I finish up my physical therapy session, my mother comes into the gym to meet Dr. Marks, Dr. Rhoads and me before giving me a hug. "How was your session today?"

Instead of answering her, I say, "M-mahhhm…I…w-wah…t-to…st-stay…i-i-ih…th-the…h-hah hs-it-tal **[Mom, I want to stay in the hospital]**."

"Why do you say that, sweetie?" Mom asks but I turn to look at Dr. Marks for support.

"D-d-doch-tohr…M-m-mahks…p-plea-ssss…l-leh…m-me…st -stay…ih…the…h-hahhs-it-tal…**[Doctor Marks, Please let me stay in the hospital]**."

Mom looks at me and then to Dr. Marks as he asks, "Why so sudden?"

"I…I…I…d-d-do-'t…w-wah…t-to…d-do…r-re-hah-i-lit-ta t-un…o-oh-l-ly…tw-twice…a…w-week **[I don't want to do rehabilitation only twice a week]**." I say as Dr. Marks and Mom start to look at me with such intensity. "I-i-ihf…i-iht…c-car-ries…o-o-neh…l-lyyyke…th-this ss…**[If it carries on like this…]**." I pause a little so I can gather my thoughts together. "I…m-mayyyy…l-loooose…m-myyyy…a-a-ab-bihhhl-l-ihhh t-teeee…t-to…w-wahhhlk…e-ev-vehhhn…s-sooooon-ner. I…d-do-'t…w-wah…t-to…g-giv-veh…uhhhp…w-wa-wahhhl-k -kiiiing…o-neh…myyyy…t-twooo…f-f-feet…y-yehhht **[I may lose my ability to walk even sooner. I don't want to give up walking on my own two feet yet]**."

"Are you sure that's what you want, Catherine?" Mom asks me with a sympathetic look and I nod. "Very well then. I guess some things can't be helped." She gives Dr. Marks a nod of approval (as if she needs to give one) and he also nods his head.

"If that's what you really want, Catherine. I'm more than happy to provide a room for you. Do you want one that's closer to your mother's department?"

"T-th-theh-kch…y-youuu… **[Thank you]**." I say to both of them as they decide to heed my wish. I know it was an impulsive decision but I really don't want to stay at home anymore. I'm too crowded with the constant reminders of what I can't do anymore. If I'm in a hospital, my disease will feel more real…and I think I'll be able to handle it more.

Dr. Marks leads my mother and I to a vacant hospital room and says, "As soon as you're settled, I will leave to put in a request for this room to remain private, Catherine. I assume you don't want other strangers living in this room with you, do you?"

I shake my head while Mom places some of my belongings down on a chair for me.

"As you know, Dr. Chandler, visiting hours are from 9 AM to 9 PM every day of the week. She can have only one visitor stay overnight and he or she is welcome to use the bed adjacent to hers. During the daytime, visitors can be both friends and family; only family are allowed to visit after hours in case of an emergency or upon Catherine's request. The rest you should know so I'll leave her to you for the time being while I file that request." Dr. Marks states before Mom nods in approval.

"Today is my day off so I'll watch her for as long as need be."

"I know you will." Dr. Marks smiles before disappearing from the door.

"Do you need any help getting on your bed?" Mom asks me but I shake my head.

"I…I…j-juhhsss…w-w-wah…t-tooo…b-beee…l-lehhhfff…a- al-lohh-neh…f-fohhr…n-nowww **[I just want to be left alone for now]**." I say to her as I move towards the window.

"Very well…" I can tell I've upset her but what is there to do? To talk about? I just need my mother to realize that a hospital room is all I need now. Aside from books to read and diary pages to write, there's nothing much I can do. I mean, I could watch TV if I really wanted to but I just feel like staring out the window for now. Is that too hard to ask for? Some privacy?

Just before my mother is about to leave, we hear a knock on the door. "Excuse me?"

Mom and I turn around and see a fairly young man standing in the doorway. "Yes?" My mother gives him a quizzical look and I just stare at him.

"Hi…You may not remember me, Miss Catherine Chandler, but my name is Richard Parkington—Miss Peterson's fiancé. I was at the book fair at the beginning of the semester last year. Anyways, in case you didn't know, I work for a publishing company that sends out monthly magazines which feature works written by people with incurable diseases."

I raise my eyebrow at him (one of the only few things I still CAN do) and say, "W-wh-why…a-ahhhr…y-youuu…heeee-reh **[Why are you here]**?"

"Oh of course! How silly of me to not state my business! My main reason for coming here is because my fiancée, Emily, has shared with me some of your works. I have to say, they are wonderful pieces of work. I was hoping…no…I AM hoping you will consider allowing me to publish them into my monthly magazine called: _**Words of Inspiration**_. You don't have to give me your answer as of this moment but if you will give me a call," he pulls out a card from his shirt pocket and hands it to me, "I will greatly appreciate it. You will be compensated for your works too."

"Would you like that, Catherine?" Mom asks me and I nod with a smile. The chance to be published? Yes please!

"I…w-woullll…b-beee…ahhh-norrred…t-tooo…g-gihhh-ve h…y-youuuu…myyyy…w-wraiii-teeengs… **[I would be honored to give you my writings]**."

"Really?! That's fantastic!" Mr. Richardson exclaims. "I'll come by sometime next week, if you don't mind, and will collect whatever you want to give me for your first column. Thank you!"

I smile at him as he bids farewell and couldn't help but feel giddy inside at the thought of actually sharing my story. I know EXACTLY which writings I want to use first.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**June 5, 2010**

**Vincent's POV**

Catherine called me yesterday to tell me that she's now living at the hospital until further notice. When I asked her if it was because the doctors wanted her to, she reassured me her admittance was her decision alone. Luckily, I've managed to find some downtime to visit her today. I cannot begin to describe how much I miss her. I haven't seen her for quite a few weeks because work has been pretty brutal but all that is going to change once I tell her the big news!

Finally, when I enter her room, she turns to look at me and smiles. I walk over to her; give her a quick kiss before I place a potted plant of white roses into her hands. "Here."

"T-thehhy…ahhhr…b-beeee-yuuu-tihhhf-fooool. | T-th-theh-kch…y-youuu… **[They are beautiful. Thank you]**." She replies as she looks at her gift. "A p-p-pahhh-tehhhd…p-pla-ih-t…fohhhr…a…s-s-sihhhckh… p-perrr-sssuhhn **[A potted plant for a sick person]**?"

"Yeah…I thought they would help spice up this room a little bit." I smirk as she hands me the plant to put on the windowsill. "I've got some good news for you."

"W-w-whaaaht?"

"I've just received my waiver from Columbia University and I have officially been approved to start my internship at New York General starting Monday. So, that means, we'll be able to see each other more often." I say after putting the pot down on its new home.

Catherine smiles and slowly reaches for me, gesturing for a hug. I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly against my body. When we pull apart, she manages to scoot over a little bit so I can join her on the hospital bed. I sit down next to her and she leans her head against my shoulder as she manages to hold my hands in hers. We sit in silence for a few moments before she starts talking.

"F-f-flow-werssss…ahhre…g-g-grayyyt…ahhrnnn't…th-t heyyy **[Flowers are great, aren't they]**?"

"Hm?"

"W-whehhhn-ehhh-vehhr…ihhht…rayyyynssss…ohhhr…shyy yns…theyyyy…st-sta-deh…s-strahhh-guh **[Whenever it rains or shines, they stand strong]**. I…w-wah…th-thahht…f-fohhhrrr…meeee…t-tooo **[I want that for me too].**" She turns to look at me and smiles weakly.

It breaks my heart to hear her say things like this. Even at hard times like now, she still manages to find room for a smile. I don't know if I would even be able to have that type of strength if it were me instead of her. I try to smile back but she can tell it wasn't a true smile. Hell, I think she even notices the tear escaping from my left eye.

"D-d-doh-'t…c-cryyyy…f-f-fohhhr…m-meee… **[Don't cry for me]**. I…kn-know…e-e-ehhhv-verrr..ry…th-thiiing…w-will…b- beeee…o-okch-kchayyyy **[I know everything will be okay]**."

"I'm not trying to, love. It's just…hard." I say and she nods. She slowly places her pillows on the floor as she sinks her head down against the mattress before gesturing me to sink down with her. I hover over her (lightly of course) with my arms holding most of my weight as I bring my lips to hers. We kiss for what seems like hours before a nurse walks in and clears her throat.

I pull away from Catherine and straighten myself up as she says, "I need to give Catherine her medication."

"Right. Of course." I reply as I start slipping off the bed but Catherine somehow manages to cling onto the hem of my shirt, stopping me from leaving. So much for a grand escape.

When she leaves, she closes the door and it doesn't take long for Catherine and me to be back in our original position. Before I place my lips against hers, I mutter, "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

She smiles and whispers, "L-l-lyk-wyse **[Likewise]**." I lean down and graze my lips against hers. I know a lot of people don't understand how Catherine and I could have an intimate relationship without having sex but our relationship is much more than that. I can't describe it but just being with her makes it more intimate than making love with her. Moments like this are what makes my relationship with Catherine all the more perfect in my eyes.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**June 7, 2010—mid morning**

**Catherine's POV**

As I am looking out the window next to my bed, I have the sudden urge to use the restroom. I don't know why I didn't realize the urgency earlier but now, it is super strong. As I slip off of my bed, I hold my bedrail with one hand before taking a step forward. I decided it wasn't necessary to use my wheelchair to go to the bathroom so I try walking instead. Just as I think I am going to make it to the restroom in time; I lose my balance and fall to the floor.

Suddenly, I hear a knock on the door and someone calling my name. "Cat?! Are you all right?!" Tess. I try to shout 'GO AWAY!' but the words couldn't form from my lips fast enough! She walks in, worried for me, when one word finally escape my lips. "L-LEAVE!" She looks down at me in confusion when I feel my body releasing its urine onto the floor. "L-LEAVE!"

Vincent suddenly bursts in and sees my look of horror and Tess's look of shock. He urges Tess out of the hospital room before rushing over to me. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, whispering, "It's going to be okay." A nurse walks in and Vincent asks her to retrieve a bucket of warm water and a wash cloth. As she spins around to leave, Vincent mutters, "Come on…let's go change your clothes."

As he wraps me in his arms, I start crying, ashamed of myself.

"Baby…it's going to be okay." He says. "I know I'm not around as often as I would like to be, but we'll get through this, love. Since…since you can't seem to make it to the toilet when you need to go…how about we set up a schedule where you go at set times…let's say…every three hours?"

I look away from him but he gently grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Catherine, you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. Remember when you first had trouble walking?"

I nod.

"You're sister managed to help you walk on your own without falling all of the time. Don't you see? This is just another bump in the road in which we can find a way to fix it. Okay?"

He picks me up into his arms and carries me to the bathroom. He places me on the toilet and mutters, "I'll be right back." He returns for a fresh pair of clothes before he helps me remove my dirty ones. He cleans me up, helps me redress myself and carries me back to my bed. After giving me a kiss, he starts cleaning my mess with the materials the nurse leaves. I could swear that he started crying while cleaning the floor.

Once again…I broke his heart.

**Beauty and the Beast**

I stare at the wall for many hours when I realize it is nearly two in the morning. I don't know why but, for some reason, I really need to talk to Vincent. I'm scared and I need him. It takes me nearly five minutes to successfully turn on my bedside lamp when I realize I left my phone at home the last time I was there.

Instead of waiting 6 hours for someone to show up, I slowly get out of bed and find my way to my wheelchair with the help of my bedrails before I head for the door. I find a payphone on the other side of the ward and try to slip my hospital card into its slot. It takes me nearly six minutes to do so and when I finally slide it in there, I try pressing Vincent's phone number.

However, the first time I try to call him, I can't punch his phone number fast enough. I try again and again and again but no matter how many times I try to call him, the call won't connect. I have to keep trying! I can't lose hope! Not now! Not ever!

**Vincent's POV**

"So how are things with Catherine?" JT asks me as I try to pick a card from his hand.

"In my opinion, I think things are going as great as they can ever be." I reply before cursing aloud. "Man, that's not even funny! Distracting me long enough to pick the Old Maid! Seriously?!"

"Don't blame me, dude." JT waves his hands in the air when all of his cards fling everywhere. "Shit!"

"Talk about karma." I snicker at him. "Remember, JT; distract does not attract."

"Hardy-har-har." JT rolls his eyes at me as we pick up his cards. Out of nowhere, I sense something's wrong…

"Dude, you okay, man?"

"I…I've gotta go." I say to my best friend before darting off to my car. Why do I suddenly feel like Catherine is in pain? Is it Intuition? A hunch? Or just overprotectiveness?

I drive to the hospital as fast as I can and hurry inside. I rush to Catherine's room but when I look inside, she's not there! My heart starts beating insanely fast as I bolt down the hallway with hopes of her being somewhere near. After five or so minutes of searching, I see her sitting next to the payphone. She has her head buried into her hands and I swear I can hear her crying.

"Catherine?" I call out to her as I approach her. I bend down to my knees and pull her hands away from her face to see tears staining her face. "Baby, what's wrong?" I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me as she starts crying her heart out. I hold her for several minutes, whispering to her that everything will be okay. That I'm there for her. Somehow…I feel like it's not enough.

Eventually, I pull away from her and wipe her tear-stained face with my thumbs. "Are you okay now?"

She sniffs out loud and nods a little before saying, "I…I…k-kul-kuld…n-naht…g-geh…t-to…s-sleep… **[I could not get to sleep]**."

"Why not?" I ask as I take her hands into mine.

"I…I…I…a-am…a-a-f-ffff-freh-d…t-to…k-kl-klohse…m-m y…e-eyes…** [I am afraid to close my eyes]**." She mutters softly. "I…I…t-tr-tryyyd…k-kah-kahl-ling…y-you…. | I…d-dy-dyahl-deh…m-meh-y…t-t-ty-ty-s **[I tried calling you. I dialed many times]**." She starts crying again and I pull her close to me. "V-vih-seh-sent…I…w-w-wah-t-tehd…t-to…h-hear…yohhh r…v-voh-vohyse…b-but… **[Vincent, I wanted to hear your voice…but…]**." She pulls back to look at me as I caress her cheek. "…b-but…I…k-kul-kuld…n-naht...p-preh-prehhhs…t-the …b-buh-buht-tuhns…p-prah-per-lee **[…but I could not press the buttons properly]**."

She manages to grab ahold of my t-shirt as she starts to sob again. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me—as close as I possibly can. How can someone so small shed so many tears of pain? I hate seeing her cry! I hate it! I press my lips against her forehead and rub my hands along her back to comfort her.

Between her painful cries, she utters, "S-sa-save…me, V-vih-seh-sent! … Th-there's…n-nuh-nuhth-theeng...l-left! **[Save me, Vincent! … There's nothing left!]**"

"Catherine, listen to me, love, don't think like this!" I plea her but she doesn't listen.

"Th-the…th-theengs…I…c-can…do…" she hiccups. "Th-there's…n-nuh-nuth-theeng…left!" As she cries, I pull away from her and stand up.

She looks at me and I say, "Let's go." Before she could protest, I start pushing her towards her hospital room without a single word. When we arrive, I pick her up, carry her to her bed and say, "Catherine Elizabeth Chandler, don't you DARE say you can't do anything anymore. That is completely a lie!" I rush over to her drawer and start pulling out dozens of her diaries. "It's true, love, that since you got this disease, you have been limited. You can't walk properly or talk properly. Hell, you can't even have a job like your friends. But…do you really think you can't do anything anymore?"

She stares at me in silence.

"Catherine, look at this!" I pick up one of her diaries and place it back down. Then I grab another. "And this! And this! And this! These are the diaries you have poured your heart into day after day since you've had this disease! All of them are filled with so many words you've worked so DAMN hard to write down with a pen you barely can use! People who are the same age as you…aren't able to do this!" I open up a page of one of her older entries and show her messy handwriting. "Even though it is painful for you to write, you still make an effort to write down everything you feel each and every day!" I walk over to her and slide next to her in the bed as I place the used journal into her lap. "Catherine, love…you have so much to write down still. Isn't that right, love?"

She sniffs several times as tears fall down her face.

"Catherine?"

She slowly nods her head and reaches out for my hands. I clasp my fingers around hers and kiss her knuckles before engulfing her into a strong embrace. Before long, she falls asleep in my arms so I simply let things be and eventually join her in a deep slumber.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**June 8, 2010**

**Catherine's POV**

When I wake up in the morning, Vincent is already gone for his internship. I know he's not too far in case I need him so it's comforting to know that he's nearby. I honestly have no idea what mental state I would be in if he weren't here to face this disease along with me. I just hope I'm not abusing our relationship and making him come to me when I need him.

I pull out my latest diary edition and write one thing to remind me of this morning's event.

_**Diary, **_

_**06/08/2010**_

_**I still have things to write down. **_

_**~C**_

I put my diary away when a woman knocks on my door. "Excuse me, miss! Are you Catherine Chandler?"

I move my gaze from the wall in front of me to the owner of the light, melodic voice. She has long, wavy brunette hair collected to one side with a light blue scrunchy. She's wearing a beautiful, sky blue summer dress with light blue dress shoes. Who is this woman?

Remembering she asked me a question, I nod in response.

"My name is Vivian Keller, Vincent's aunt. Am I correct to say that you're my nephew's girlfriend?"

"Y-y-yes." I reply slowly. "A-ahhhr…y-y-yoooou…l-l-loo-ing…f-fohhhr…V-vih-seh -teh **[Are you looking for Vincent]**?"

"Come again?" she gives me a confused look so I try again.

"V-vih-seh-teh…?"

"Are you asking me if I want Vincent?" she asks me and I nod. "Actually," she smiles, "I came here to speak with you. That won't be a problem, will it?"

I shake my head before Vivian closes the door and takes a seat in one of the guest.

"Let's cut to the chase. Catherine, you love my nephew, right?"

I nod even though I'm shocked by her abrupt question.

"Then do him a favor…and break up with him." She suddenly says.

I give her a strange look and say, "W-wh-why?"

"I know…this may seem harsh…but…you need to realize that…ever since you entered his life, everything he's ever wanted to do has been put to a hold."

"W-w-wuh…d-do…y-you…meeh **[What do you mean]**?"

"I've known your boyfriend since he was a baby and he's always set sights to go to Harvard University for his grad-program. However, because of you, his dreams aren't being fulfilled. He had to settle for a local medical university, Columbia University." She says coldly. "I think it's time you let him go."

"V-v-vih-vin-seh-seh-sent…n-neh-v-ver…sp-spo-spoke …o-of…H-har-har-vahrd **[Vincent never spoke of Harvard]**." I say, rather shocked. How could Vincent hide such a dream from me?

"I bet he didn't even tell you he received a full ride to Harvard for his grad school. He turned it down immediately because he didn't want to leave you. You have to understand that you're holding him back, Catherine Chandler." Vivian states.

I shake my head in denial. "V-v-vi-n-sehhnt…l-luhhves…m-meeee… **[Vincent loves me]**."

"Yes but at what cost? If I'm correct, you miscarried a few years ago and it nearly took your life. Are you willing to hold onto Vincent only to have him lose you in the end anyway?"

"Y-y-you…h-have…n-nohhh…r-r-right…t-to…"

"To what? To look up your medical records for concern of my nephew? Catherine, let's get something straight. You and Vincent live in completely different universes. Deep down, you know I'm right, don't you?" I stay silent. "If you really love him, Catherine, you'll let him go. Let him be free to make his own choices where he doesn't have to be tied down to you." She stares me down with scrutiny. "It's your choice, Catherine, but believe me. Holding on to a good young man like Vincent is cruel."

With that, she stands up and leaves without another word. I turn around and face the window to see a very happy Vincent walking with a few of his intern friends. He seems so relaxed and happy when I'm not there…Could his aunt be right? Could I really be the bad guy here?

I must not be destined to love…because no matter what happens, it always seems to hurt.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_In my head, I have an image of myself as an ordinary healthy girl. But I didn't look so beautiful in the mirror. My backbone's bent and the upper part of my body leans forward. There's nothing I can do but admit that facts are facts. However much I try, I still can't completely throw away the hope that I can escape my disability. I want to acquire at least one fact-that thanks to my strict rehabilitation. I've become able to do something I couldn't do before._

_Aya Kitou-Chapter 5_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara**: So a lot of things happened in this chapter! ^_^ I have to say…I'm not too fond of Vivian right now…

Catherine is going through a really tough time and we all know she has her insecurities. Unfortunately, Vivian knew exactly just which insecurities to play on. That's why Catherine could be persuaded one way verses the other fairly easily. She has insecurities and when they surface, she will start doubting herself and her love for Vincent. :(

If you're eager to find out what happens next time, stick around! Also, REVIEW! :)

PS) Let me know if something seems confusing! :)


	23. And I Clench My Fists as I Wait

**Author's Note: **Before you read this chapter, I must prepare your minds for it. Things will happen in this chapter that you may or may not like. Nevertheless, the themes that happen within this entire story are built upon Vincent and Catherine's love for each other. Think of the events in the following chapter (plus the next chapter or two) to be challenges for each of the characters to go through. Hopefully, even after this chapter, you'll still continue reading! ^_^

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**Side note: **I think we all agreed that Vivian is a Bee-atch…don't worry, V will find out about that conversation within the next two chapters…and she will DEFINITELY get what's coming to her.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Twenty-Two: **__**And I Clench My Fists as I Wait**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: June 11, 2010**

**9 PM **

"Is there anything I can get you, Catherine?" Mom asks me as she enters my bedroom. Since tomorrow is Miss Peterson's wedding, I requested for the hospital to release me for the rest of today and tomorrow so I can spend some time with my family before tomorrow's big event. So, here I am, lying down on my bed and staring at the wall. There's not much else to do any more so when I don't feel like writing, I just sit and stare.

I shake my head in response but do not say anything. Taking the hint, Mom leaves me alone with Gimpy lying on my lap as I continuously stare at the wall. I cannot get Vivian Keller's conversation out of my mind no matter what I do or think of. She's scarred me in more ways than she ever could have intended.

In ways, she's right. I have been keeping Vincent from doing what he wants to do. But…it was his choice too…wasn't it? He chose to be by my side but that makes me feel even guiltier because he chose to be with me out of my need for him. Not only do I think about Vivian's argument but every single feeling I felt whenever Vincent has been with me.

I cannot argue with the fact that sometimes, it was painful for me to be with him…but it was also relieving too…

Despite everything, I've always wanted Vincent to be happy…so…in spite of Vivian's argument, shouldn't that be more important? Even without her meddling…I think…deep down…I've always felt guilty about my presence in Vincent's life. So…at this point in my life…I think…there's only one option for the both of us. As I look towards my desk to search for a pad of paper and a pen, I see my old phone with the small dolphin chain Vincent bought me the day we went to the aquarium.

The memory of that day crashes into my mind as I remember seeing tons of couples clinging to each other as they ventured the aquarium. I remember hating myself for not being able to share something like that with Vincent. I remember so many emotions that day…and all of them were because I couldn't do this or that with Vincent like other couples.

Let's face it; I'm dying…I'm dying…and…Vincent…Vincent doesn't need my death to plague his life. Maybe Vivian's right. Maybe I should let him go before things get ugly. But how?

I slip off of my bed and carefully walk towards my desk. After fifteen minutes of waddling, bending down, pulling things out and walking back to my bed, I start to do what I do best: write.

**Beauty and the Beast **

After we line up outside of the church to wave to Mr. and Mrs. Parkington when they leave the grounds, I hear several people shout, "CONGRATULATIONS!" The bride and groom start descending the stone steps as they surprisingly make their way towards me.

"C-c-cong-g-gra-gra-l-lat-shuns **[Congratulations]**." I smile when they stop to see me.

Miss Peter—oops! I mean Mrs. Parkington grins and bends down and takes my hands in hers. "I'm so happy you and your family were able to come! It means a lot to me, Catherine."

She stands back up and Mr. Parkington extends his hand, saying, "Thank you for coming." I slowly reach for his hand and gently shake it as he adds, "You're first selection of writings will be published soon. I thank you for your willingness to share your entries with the magazine. I'll keep in touch, okay?"

I nod my head and smile. "O-o-k-kay." They exchange sorrowful looks so I say, "H-ha-havvvve…a…h-ha-hap-py…l-life."

"Thank you, Catherine." Mrs. Parkington smiles once more. She then looks at my parents to say, "You have a very special daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler. She's a fighter."

"We know." Dad replies and Mom laces her fingers with Dad's. Heather places her hands on my shoulders as the newly-wedded couple leave to talk to the other guests.

"Say, where's Vincent?" my sister asks.

"I'm sure he has something important to do." Mom replies.

"…or he couldn't find a tux so he bails." Heather rolls her eyes but Dad gives her a warning look.

Dad kneels down and whispers into my ear, "Why don't you contact him, Catherine? Shoot him a text."

"H-h-he…m-myt…b-be…b-bih-bihsy **[He might be busy]**." I say as I look down to hide my hurt.

"Damn straight!" I hear Vincent call out to us. "I was busy driving all over this God-damn city looking for this little church! Apparently I passed it like four times since it's so freaking small!" He approaches me and kneels down. "Sorry I'm late. I tried calling but I guess your cell was off for the wedding."

"I-it's…o-okay." I smile as he takes my hands into his. Mom urges Heather and Dad to leave us alone so they disappear into the happy, mingling crowd as Vincent gives me a gentle, greeting kiss.

"It's a good thing you didn't ditch me or I would have worn this tux for nothing." He states with a laugh.

"Y-yeah…" I mutter before he kisses my knuckles.

Suddenly, we hear a man shout, "It's time for the bride to throw her bouquet!"

We turn to look at Mrs. Parkington and she closes her eyes as she tosses her beautiful bouquet of flowers towards the crowd. Several single women try jumping for the bundle of white roses so I don't even try to compete. However, much to my surprise (and to the whole freaking wedding party), the bouquet lands on my lap.

Everyone claps as I slowly pull the flowers to my face to smell them. I can tell Vincent is looking at me as I hide my grin behind the roses. Mom must have noticed my catching of the flowers because she rushes to me and gives me a huge hug. "Congratulations sweetie!"

"Th-th-thank…y-you." I whisper before she disappears again into the crowd. Vincent starts pushing me away from the wedding party towards the small park next to the church.

"Beautiful day out, isn't it?" Vincent states as he stops in front of a bench. He picks me up and lifts me out of my chair as he pulls me into his lap while he sits down.

I hold the flowers close to my bosom as Vincent holds me close to his. "I-i-isn't…i-ih-it…g-gr-grayt? Th-there…a-ahr…s-so…m-m-man-ny…fl-flow-wers **[Isn't it great? There are so many flowers]**."

"Yeah…I suppose." Vincent replies before kissing my temple.

I lean my head against his shoulder as I absorb this moment between us. We sit in silence for the longest time before I see my parents and sister walking toward us. I slowly reach into my purse and pull out an envelope. "H-here."

"What is this?" Vincent asks me as he takes the envelope from my hands.

I smile sadly and mutter, "L-love…l-let-ter."

He grins and puts it into his pocket before leaning down to kiss me. I put everything I had into that kiss before breaking apart from him. He gives me another light kiss and smiles as he places me back into my wheelchair. As my parents walk up to us, he kisses the top of my head and mutters, "I love you."

"I…l-l-love…y-you…t-too." I mutter lowly. Dad takes ahold of my wheelchair handles and as he starts pushing me down the small hill, I whisper, "G-goo-good-bye…"

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Well, wasn't that such a nice wedding ceremony?" Dad says as he pushes me down the hospital's hallway.

"Indeed it was." Mom replies. "Emily looked so beautiful too, I must say. And happy."

As I bring the flowers up to my nose to sniff them again, I start coughing. I try to inhale a breath of air but something is blocking my passageway! Immediately, I drop the bouquet and grasp my throat as I continue coughing.

"Catherine!" Mom shrieks as both of them rush over to me. "Heather! Go find Dr. Marks!"

Heather runs passed us as several nurses come to our aid. They ask Dad to lift me out of my wheelchair and place me on a gurney. In minutes, I find myself in an operating room. Dr. Marks rushes in and immediately places his stethoscope against my throat as I cough. He turns to his nurses and shouts, "The aspirator!"

In seconds, he asks me to open my mouth while he slides this small, round tube down my throat. I hear this loud noise as I feel the contents of my throat being sucked out of my body. I continue to cough as I struggle to breathe.

"Quick! Prepare an IV!"

**Beauty and the Beast**

**|Vincent's POV|**

After returning home, I decide to go for a walk to collect my thoughts. About fifteen minutes later, I remember Catherine's letter. When I find my way to Central Park, I take a seat in a bench and pull out the envelope labeled: _**To Vincent**_.

I break open the seal and pull out her letter before unfolding it to read what she's written.

_**Vincent, **_

_**There are things I can't say to you face to face because of how much I love you…so I'm writing this letter because writing, according to you, is what I do best. Please note that everything I'm writing to you, are my true feelings…they've been locked up inside of me and writing them down was the key to revealing them to you. **_

_**Thank you, my love, for always being by my side when I really needed you. Thank you for putting up with my emotional rollercoaster as this disease consumed my life. In so many words, thank you for your constant love and support. **_

_**You've found what you wanted to do with your life and I think you'll be a great doctor someday. You have so much compassion for others and I believe you'll go far in life. Seeing that you are pursuing one of your dreams makes me happy but…**_

_**We both know…not all of your dreams have been met. **_

_**During your life, you'll gain a lot of knowledge and be able to meet so many people. From now on, you'll continue to live on…**_

_**We also know that your road and my road are two different paths. You have so much ahead of you. As for me…I have a hospital room. **_

_**In the future that I have left…how should I go about living it?**_

_**That's it…**_

_**That's all there is…**_

_**No matter what, there's nothing we can do to change this difference. **_

_**Every day, I am fighting against myself. I'm worried…and it's painful…. When I'm with you, I try to suppress all of these feelings…and…it's used up most of my energy. **_

_**Here's the truth: **_

_**It's painful to be with you. When I am with you, I constantly want to do this and to do that…and temporarily, I forget about my disease. But then, reality sinks back in and I remember…what I can't do…and it hurts so much. **_

_**Then…there are times I think: What if I didn't get this disease? Then…I would be able to give you what you want…. When I think about this…it also hurts. There's no win-win situation here. **_

_**Please know that I will never stop loving you…but…when I'm with you…I keep dreaming of things that will never come true. **_

_**I know you, Vincent. You're going to blame yourself for what I feel…so don't. None of this is your fault. I've been the one prolonging this relationship because I needed you…if anything; everything is my fault and my fault alone. I've been holding you back for too long. It's time for you to accomplish all of your dreams…not just a portion of them. **_

_**If anything…I envy you…and I feel sorry for myself. **_

_**It doesn't matter what I do…but with the me right now…I'm becoming more miserable. **_

_**If I keep feeling this miserable, I won't have the courage to live on. **_

_**Thank you for…doing so much for me…for being there for me…loving me…supporting me…. **_

_**For…saying that you love me…even…even for the way I am now…Thank you. **_

_**I'm sorry, Vincent…for not being able to give you anything in return. I will never stop loving you…but…as things stand…**_

…_**I can't see you anymore…**_

_**Goodbye, my love. **_

I stare at the letter in disbelief as tears uncontrollably fall down my face. I crumple up the letter and silently curse to myself. As I am about to toss the letter and the envelope into the trash can, something falls out of the envelope. I bend down to pick the object up and recognize this trinket. It's the mini-dolphin phone chain I bought for Catherine last September.

Why would Catherine do this?! Why?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**|Catherine's POV|**

"Catherine!" I hear my mom exclaim as I open my eyes to see myself in a room filled with many monitors.

"M-m-mom…" I say softly before looking at Dr. Marks. "D-d-doc-tor…M-marks…I…"

"Don't worry, Catherine. You choked a bit but you're okay now." He whispers as he leans slightly closer. "I used an aspirator to remove the fluid. Just lie down and rest. Okay?"

"There's no need to worry, sweetheart." Mom says.

"That's right, darling." Dad chimes in. "There was no harm done."

"No harm my ass!" I hear Heather exclaim. "Mom! Dad! Why are you sugar-coating everything for her?! I saw what she was going through!"

"Heather, you need to calm down and sit in the waiting room." Dad commands her but she shakes her head.

"No way! You guys are willing to brush away the fact that Cat almost died today! How can you say that 'there's no harm done!'? Don't you realize that I almost lost my sister today?!" Heather complains. "I know Cat's disease takes a lot of your time but do you ever notice how much I'm hurting because of it?! Did you ever stop and think: Heather should be a part of this situation too?! I'm tired of being out of the loop and having to wait at the waiting room! I want to know what's going on with my sister! Is that too much to ask for?!"

"Heather," Mom speaks softly, "Please just go to the waiting room. We'll return shortly and let you know how Catherine is doing."

Heather rolls her eyes and mutters something like 'whatever' as she stomps away. Mom and Dad are surely going to get an earful from her when they get home.

Suddenly, I feel tears fall from my eyes as I look around for Vincent…then I remember the letter I gave him…

"Catherine, what's wrong?" Mom asks me. "Why are you crying? Are you in pain?"

I inhale a deep breath and let it out. "I…w-w-wrote…a…l-leh-let-er…to…Vi-Vih-cent **[I wrote a letter to Vincent]**."

"A letter?"

"I…I…I…t-t-told…h-him…I…d-don't…w-want…t-to…s-sss- see…h-him…a-any-more." I reply as I continue crying.

"Why Catherine?! Why would you do such a thing?!" Mom cries out. "You love him and he loves you! Why?!"

I sit in silence for several minutes before I gather the courage to answer my mother's question. "M-mom…D-dad…D-doc-doctor…" I turn to look at each of them. "W-w-would…I…b-be…a-ble…t-to…g-geh-t…m-mar-ried?" They look at me in silence as if they're trying to find the best way to tell me 'no.' "I…I…kn-new…i-ih-it."

"Catherine…" Mom's voice fades as she squeezes my hand.

"B-but…e-eev-ven…if…i-it…is…l-like…th-that…" I turn my head away from them so they can't see me tearing up, "One…d-day…w-when…i-it…c-comes…I…w-want…t-t-to…sl- sleep…a-amuh-gst…a…lot…o-of…fl-flow-wers… **[One day when it comes, I want to sleep amongst a lot of flowers]**."

Dad rushes out of the hospital room and I can hear him slamming his fists into the plastered walls. I can hear him try to silently cry as Mom holds me while I cry too. I think today…is the first time I've realized that I don't have that much time to live…two…three…years…at the most.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**|Vincent's POV|**

"You look like hell." JT states as I walk into my apartment.

"What're you doing here?" I ask him with red-rimmed eyes.

"You owed me a game of Old Maid remember? You bailed the last one so I came here for a rematch." JT says. "But I can see you're not up to doing anything tonight." I sit down next to him and pull my facial skin down with my hands. "Care to share with a brotha from anotha motha?"

"I'm such an idiot."

"And it took you nearly 26 years to figure that out?" JT teases but I stand up and walk away from him.

"It's not funny, man! I really blew it!"

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, man." I say. "Look, I'm going to bed so…I guess just make yourself comfortable on the couch."

"All right. Thanks dude."

"Whatever." I say before I lock myself in my bedroom and sink to the floor. I may seem like some pathetic loser right now but how else am I supposed to act like? I can't believe I've been so selfish when I never really considered how Catherine was emotionally feeling about our relationship! I pull the crumpled letter out of my pocket and re-read it. Maybe it's encrypted? I just don't understand how Catherine could suddenly want an out…it's like she was influenced to write this letter.

But who wouldn't want us to be together?

Who?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**|Vanessa's POV|**

It breaks my heart to see her in so much pain. What good is a mother when she can't do anything for her child? I try to hold her within my arms as she cries her heart out but she pushes me away. I've never seen her so hurt before.

"Catherine!" I cry out as I try to help her calm down.

Evan simply stands there with nothing to do or say. And Tom…Tom is out in the hall trying to hide his quiet sobs.

Day by day, our family is slowly falling apart.

I don't know how much longer I can afford to try and hold us all together…

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**_Reality is too cruel…to brutal…_**

**_I don't even have the right to dream…_**

**_Every time I think about the future…the tears will come out again…_**

**_(Aya Ikeuchi ~ Episode 10)_**

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**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara**: Hiya folks! I know, depressing chapter but I PROMISE! :) The next chapter will be filled with VinCat flawlessness! :) Keep reading and REVIEW! PLEASE! :)


	24. My Palms Bleed Since the Sun Never Comes

**Author's Note: **Read a spoiler alert today concerning a new character for Season 2…I won't mention the character's name or his or her purpose in case people hate spoilers but based on what Jay Ryan and Kristin Kreuk have been saying, the VinCat relationship will be tested quite a lot. I have a STRONG feeling VinCat will separate for some time during the season but I have to keep my faith in the BATB writers. They know what they're doing and, like last time when Alex rocked the boat, Vincent and Catherine were able to reconnect even stronger! So, if Vincent and Catherine separate for a time in the season, I'll have to remember that the show IS called "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST" and that Vincent and Catherine WILL find their way to each other again.

Anyhoo…enough of my babbling. On with the story!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Three:**__** My Palms Bleed Since the Sun Never Comes  
**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: June 23****rd****, 2012**

"Caaaaat!" my sister calls from behind me. "Someone is here to see you!"

I turn around and see Mr. Parkington approaching me. With a smile, I slowly extend my hand and he gladly shakes it.

"Thank you." He says as I hand him my newest entry for his magazine. He places my diary pages into a folder for safekeeping before digging into his briefcase. After a minute or so, he pulls out a tiny book, saying, "Here's your copy of the newest issue. I hope you enjoy it!"

I nod and hold the book to my chest. As he walks away, I move towards the edge of the hospital's roof to look at the vast city of New York. I can't believe it's been nearly five years since my diagnosis and almost two since I broke up with Vincent.

Every once in a while, he'll try to visit me but I refuse to accept any visitors aside from family. I don't want my friends (much less anyone) to see me in such a pathetic state.

I don't talk much anymore. Occasionally, if necessary, I'll say something but because my voice is so weak and low, I try to avoid talking at all costs.

"Catherine!" I hear my mom call me. "The hospital let a special someone see you today!" I turn to look at her and grin as she releases Gimpy from his leash. I am so proud of him! He has managed to overcome his limp by getting stronger every day! He is such a blessing in my life—especially since I let Vincent go. Gimpy licks my face and hands as he wags his tail ferociously.

After I manage to calm him down, he places his head on my lap and looks up at me. If looks could kill, I'd be down six feet under right about now. I kiss his head and we sit together for almost thirty minutes before Mom decides it's time to take him home. I follow her to the elevator and she waits until I'm back in my room before leaving for home.

"Cat?" Heather says as she walks into my room. I look up at her so she knows she has my attention before she continues. "A friend is here to see you…it's some guy named JT?"

I smile. It would be nice to see JT. I know I normally don't let non-family members visit me but I am desperate to know how Vincent is doing.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" Heather asks.

I shake my head.

"Okay…well, I will leave you two alone then." My sister smiles as she squeezes my hand. "I'll come by later and see how you're doing."

I nod with a smile as she leaves my room. Heather has really stepped up in the past five years. She's gone from being the baby sister to practically the older sister and she's really good at it. I'm really proud of her.

JT walks into my room and nervously takes a seat in the chair across from my bed. "Hey Cat."

I smile and mutter, "H-h-hey."

"Are you up for talking or should I grab paper and pen?"

"I…cehhh…t-tah-tahlk **[I can talk]**."

"Okay…well…here goes nothing…" he says as he cleans his glasses with his shirt. "Look...I may not know why you decided to end things with Vincent but you need to talk…erm…see him, Catherine. He's not in good shape at all."

I give him a strange look.

"What I mean is…he's incredibly lean, Cat. He eats less and isn't as outgoing as he used to be. He's quiet and he looks like he hasn't had a decent night of sleep since you two were together. I know I'm being a little demanding but V really needs you, Cat. I can also tell you need him."

"I-ih-ihsss…nahhhh….thahhhh…eee…zeee…**[It's not that easy]**."

"Suit yourself." JT states as he stands up. "Do you still love him, Cat?"

I nod as tears threaten to fall from my eyes.

"Okay…if you still love him, Cat, you would think about seeing him. He needs to at least see you. I'm not asking or demanding you two to elope or get back together, I'm just asking you to let him see you at least once. He needs to know how you're doing. Believe it or not, you're his lifeline and if this keeps on going, I have a feeling he's going to quit school in the fall and become a hermit. He's definitely heading down that direction with the rate his grades are slipping."

"I…ssssahh…ry… **[I'm sorry]**." I mutter.

"Sorry's not going to cut it, Cat. And don't apologize to me; apologize to him. Every night he reads that damn letter you wrote him two years ago and for some reason, Sherlock Holmes tries to figure out why you sent him the letter in the first place! He never once thought you were holding him back; not once! Even while dating you, he's managed to accomplish every dream he's ever had. He got into Columbia University for grad school—his top pick!"

"Tahhh…pihhh-k **[Top pick]**?" I look at JT with confusion. "Wahhh…ahhh-owww…Hahh-vahhh?" **[What about Harvard]**?"

"Come again?"

I open to a clean page in my diary and start writing 'Harvard' with my black marker. JT peers over me and raises his eyebrow. "Harvard? Why would you mention that? Harvard is too…well…too Harvard for Vincent. He's never once dreamed of going there! In fact, if I recall, Harvard was the LAST place on his grad-school list."

Suddenly, a wave of sorrow floods through me and I start to cry. Vincent never wanted to go to Harvard? All of Vivian's words were lies?!

"Cat, what's wrong?" JT asks with sympathy. "Did I say something?"

I shake my head and write down one word: **Vivian**.

"Oh shit." JT mutters. "That old hag got to you didn't she?! She probably made up some lame lie saying that V has a better future in store for him, right?"

I nod.

JT grabs his things and says, "Don't worry, Cat. All will be as it was in no time! Just hang in there while I talk to V." Before he could race out of the hospital, I manage to grab his sleeve. "What is it, Cat?"

As I try to answer, I feel like something is caught in the back of my throat. I try coughing to get it out but nothing helps. If anything, I make it worse and now, I can barely breathe. JT hears me wheezing for air and panics.

"Shit! Um! Um! SOMEBODY HELP!" He shouts. He rips his sleeve out of my grip and races towards the door. "QUICK! SHE CAN'T BREATHE!"

Soon enough, a crowd of nurses and Dr. Marks file into the room as JT paces in the hallway. Heather rushes inside and shrieks. "OH MY GOD! CAT!"

"Stay back!" Dr. Marks commands my sister as he gets the aspirator ready. He turns to look at me and says, "It's going to be all right, Catherine. Just hang in there."

The last thing I remember is him slipping a tube down the back of my throat as I slip into unconsciousness.

**Beauty and the Beast **

**JT's POV**

After making sure Catherine is in good hands, I race out of the hospital. Vincent NEEDS to know what his Aunt Vivian did to their relationship! I have to tell him before he destroys himself even more. As fast as I can, I jog towards the subway entrance and literally jump up and down with anticipation as I wait for the transit to arrive.

I call Vincent's cell phone and THANK THE LORD he actually picks up this time! _"Hello?"_

"Vincent! Where are you?!"

"_At my apartment."_

"Okay…well, whatever you do, DON'T GO ANYWHERE! GOT THAT?!"

"_Whatever." _

"I'm on my way back to your place. You won't believe what I have to tell you!"

"_Okay."_

I end the phone call when the subway comes and hop on the train, hoping V actually takes my advice.

When I finally arrive to his apartment, I knock on its door several thousand times until he opens it. I rush in, set my things down and wait for him to sit back down on his couch.

"What is it, JT? You look like you're about to release the biggest constipated piece of turd of your life." At lease his wisecrack ass hasn't left the ballpark.

"V…you're going to hate me but I went to see Cat today."

His eyes widen. "You did?! H-how is she? Is she okay?"

"Calm down, V. Listen, she can barely talk now. Her voice is a low whispery sound and even when she does speak, it's super hard to understand her. Anyways, that's not why I came by. You see, during this visit, I verbally replayed a scene from _Tangled_ and reminded her that SHE is YOUR dream. Yatta, yatta. I also told her how you've managed to attend Columbia University, your top choice for grad school."

"Your point?"

"My point, V, is that she thought you really wanted to go to Harvard for grad school, not Columbia University. That's why she thought she was holding you back." I reply.

"Where in the hell would she get an idea like that!?" Vincent looks at me, estranged.

"Guess who paid your ex a visit shortly before she decided to write that letter of yours?"

He thinks for a moment but sighs. "I'm drawing a blank."

"I'll give you one hint: Her nickname starts with a V and ends with –ipor." I state as his eyes widen with anger.

"Why that son of a bitch! I told her to stop meddling in my life!" Vincent curses as he immediately stands up and pulls out his cell phone.

"V! Wait!"

"What?!" his angered voice sends shivers down my spine. I definitely wouldn't want to be at the receiving end, that's for sure.

"Before you go all BEAST on your aunt, V, there's something else you need to know." I say as I twirl my thumbs. V may not actually turn into a beast like the hulk or anything but his anger sure seems to come from one.

"Spill it, JT!"

"Ummm…Catherine…she's…she's not in good shape…"

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Vincent asks as he hovers over me.

"Well…when…when I was there, she started choking…really choking...! The doctor and several nurses had to suck out the contents of her throat using and aspa-something. I left before I could find out anything else. You need to see her, V. I may not be a doctor but I know when someone has a broken heart that needs healing."

"She doesn't want to see me."

"That's a load of CRAP! The moment I told her Harvard was a lie, she started crying! I bet my ASS that she felt guilty and wished everything could return back to the way it was! Now get your SORRY ASS out there and see her! I'm not asking you to propose to her, V. I'm just asking you to go and see her. That's all."

"Sorry, man. I just…it's not that easy." He replies and I sigh. I can't tell who's more stubborn: V or Cat.

"Do what you want." I say before leaving him to think on his own. What else can I do?

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Vincent's POV**

I walk back to my bed and sit down on it. As I remember every touch and kiss Catherine and I shared on this bed, I can't help but long for her to be beside me again. I miss her so much. As I reach over to my bedside table to read her letter again, I accidentally bump a stack of books onto the floor. I reach down to pick them up when I notice a folded letter lying on the floor.

I pick it up and recognize it; it's the letter that man delivered to me on 9/11 of 2007. Wanting to refresh my memory of what it said, I open it up and read it to myself.

Suddenly, every word Michael wrote to me rushes back into my mind. I freeze when I read the following paragraph:

_**When you meet 'the one,' remember to cherish her above all things. If you have to be late for class or work because she needs you for whatever reason, don't hesitate. Be there for her because you won't want to lose her. Although I haven't met her and you probably haven't met her either, I already love her as a sister. Love is not a one-way street. If you love her, show her. I promise that if you always serve, respect and be there for her, your relationship will be rewarded in ways that are beyond your imagination. Here's a little secret for you, Vincent. If you are willing to sacrifice everything for this girl—your life, your money, your time of day; everything—there's no doubt in my mind that she's the one.**_

Instantly, I fold the letter back up and slip it into my pocket before racing out the door. Michael is right; I don't want to lose Catherine! I don't care if I have to beg and gravel on my knees for a year! I can't lose her! Not now, not ever!

**Beauty and the Beast**

Today, I will not take "NO" for an answer. If Catherine doesn't want to see me, I'm going to barge my way in there until she HAS NO CHOICE but to let me into her room. I place my hand over my pocket and grin like an idiot. I bet she won't see this coming.

As I make my way to her hospital room, Dr. Evan Marks stops me in the hallway. "I hate to burst your bubble, Dr. Marks, but I have to see Catherine."

"I know." Dr. Marks replies. "Look, I'm not here to stop you from seeing her…Instead, I need you to show her something."

"What?"

He pulls out a bunch of envelopes tied in a rubber band and hands them to me. "These are letters…all from people who either has the same disease or knows someone with the same disease as Catherine. They are responses to the entries she submits to Richard Parkington for his magazine **Words of Inspiration**. She doesn't know about them yet and I thought you should be the one to show them to her."

"Why me?"

"Because, Vincent, believe it or not, she's still hanging on to you. If you can tell her how much she's making a difference in the world, she might realize that she's NOT useless. People are actually listening and appreciating her words. You are the only one who can get through to her, Vincent." Dr. Marks states. "Now, go."

I nod and start walking towards Catherine's room. Before I reach the door, I see Mr. Chandler walking out of the room. He sees me and waves. "How have you been, Vincent?"

"I've had better days." I say and he nods.

"I think we all feel that way at this point. Are you here to see Catherine? or are you here for your internship?" he asks me.

"I'm actually here to see your daughter, sir. But…before I do that…I need to ask you something first."

"What is it?"

"Well…you see…" I gulp as I am about to ask one of the most important questions of my lifetime.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

As I open my eyes, I immediately shut them in response to the bright hospital lights.

"Hey, you're awake." A familiar voice says as its owner squeezes my hand. I turn to look at him and weakly smile.

I can barely say anything so I mouth lip his name.

He brings my knuckles to his lips and brushes against them. I close my eyes as I absorb this moment, hoping it isn't a dream. I know we didn't exactly end on the right foot but I'm glad he's here. "W-w-whyyy…ahhh…y-yuuu…heee-uhhh **[Why are you here]**?"

"Dr. Marks wanted me to give you these." He says as he places a large sum of envelopes on my lap. "They're fan mail, Catherine."

I pick one of the envelopes up and hand it to him, implying that I want him to read it to me. He nods and opens it before pulling out the letter.

_**Dear Catherine Chandler, **_

_**My name is Suzie Wilcox and like you, I have been diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Ataxia. When I learned of my diagnosis, I didn't know what to think! I'm only 15 years old! I was diagnosed about three months ago and literally lost faith in everything. My mother works for a bookstore and found the magazine "Words of Inspiration;" she thought I might find some of the readings comforting. I read almost the entire magazine and still felt helpless. That is, until I read your poem, "Helpless but Hopeful." **_

_**From one poem alone, you have given me a different perspective on my disease and I thank you! I look forward to reading more of your columns as more magazines come out. Thank you for helping me realize there's more to life than limitations. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Suzie. **_

He puts the letter back in its envelope and takes another one to read.

_**Dear Catherine, **_

_**The name is Timothy. My daughter is 8 years old and she's been diagnosed with SCA sometime last year. Up until we started reading your entries, she was mentally and emotionally broken. Nothing could break her from her constant crying and worries. However, her attitude has completely changed since we've begun reading your column. Thank you for the inspiration you give her! **_

_**I'm glad to see my daughter finally smiling again. You have no idea how much this means to a father. Please keep writing because we'll keep reading. **_

_**Thank you,**_

_**Timothy Ames**_

Vincent takes the entire pile of letters and places them on the table beside us. "Catherine," he says, "I'm very proud of you."

I look at him with confusion so he continues, "Remember your dream? You've always wanted to find a way to help people; now, through your words, you are able to make a difference in peoples' lives. You know, we always wondered why God would give you such a disease but I think we've found our answer. God gave you this disease because He needed a leader…He needed someone who was strong enough to guide others when their world turns upside-down. That's you, Catherine."

"I…hehhhl…suhhh-wahhh **[I helped someone]**?"

"No, my love. Not just someone…You helped ALL of these people." He replies as he points to the pile of letters.

Immediately I start crying. I'm not crying because I'm upset. I'm crying because I'm relieved to know I still have a purpose on this earth. Vincent pulls me into an embrace and kisses my cheek. It feels as if the last two years didn't happen. I slowly find his lips with mine and allow him to kiss me.

Eventually, he pulls away and leans his forehead against mine. "When I read that letter of yours a few years ago, I…I thought I lost you. I thought I would never have the chance to see you again."

"Yuuuu…d-dihh…nahhh…loooossss…m-meeeee…. **[You did not lose me]**. I…ehhhm…ryyyyt…he-uh… **[I am right here]**." I whisper before our lips meet again. I don't know how or why but no matter what I say, Vincent doesn't need to ask me to repeat myself or have something written down. He understands every word that escapes my mouth and I'm grateful. When he pulls away again, I mumble, "I…lahhh…yuuu… **[I love you]**."

"I love you too, Catherine." he mumbles against my jawline as he feathers kisses towards my neck. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, my love."

"I…mihhh…yuuu…tooo…**[I missed you too]**."

He kisses my forehead and says, "Listen, love. I know you have difficulty with speaking so just hear me out, okay?"

I nod in response, allowing him to continue. "I learned…from a very valuable source…about my Aunt Vivian's short conversation with you before we broke up. Catherine…ever since my parents and my brothers died, my aunt has been trying to control my life. She has no children and isn't married so I'm basically her heir to a large sum of money. For years, she's been trying to convince me to do the things she's wanted me to do. However, I had different plans for my life. Believe me, love, I never…not ever…wanted to go to Harvard. That's my aunt's dream; not mine." He laces his fingers with mine as I start tearing up from his testimony.

"Aside from becoming a doctor, I didn't know what other dreams I had. That is…until I met you. You made me think of thing I never would have DREAMED of before. You gave me so much insight on my life and I'm eternally grateful. Honestly? I would trade in my medicinal practices instantly if it meant I would be able to spend an eternity with you. As cheesy and Disney-like as this may sound, Catherine, I have no bigger dream in life than to be with you for as long as I possibly can. With that being said," he digs into his pocket and pulls out a small, black velvet box before opening it. "Catherine Elizabeth Chandler, will you fulfill that dream and marry me?"

Out of nowhere, I start crying as I nod my head yes. He grins widely and slides the beautiful heart-shaped diamond ring across my left ring finger before pulling me in for a long lasting kiss. Suddenly, we hear several claps and cheers coming from the hallway as five heads poke through the crack in the door. We look over at them, embarrassed as they file into the room.

Heather and Mom rush to give me gentle hugs as JT high-fives Vincent. Dad makes his way over to me and kisses my forehead before saying, "I know this might be sudden and everything but given the circumstances, what do you say to getting married next weekend?"

We look at him and widen our eyes.

"After Vincent asked for my blessing, I went ahead and called an old friend of mine. He's a preacher at a church in Queens and his earliest opening is next Saturday at 5 PM. Once I give him the word, he can book it for the two of you." Dad replies as everyone looks at him, shocked.

I look at Vincent and he looks at me. I slowly nod my head with approval so Vincent turns to my father and smiles, "We'll take it!"

"Perfect." Dad grins. "I'll call him shortly."

Finally after everyone leaves for the night, Vincent decides to stay with me instead of following the crowd. He pulls off his shirt and as he drops his pants, something falls out of his pocket. He bends down to pick it up and grins. "You better thank my brother, Michael. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have received such an eye-opener."

I smile as he places the letter on the table beside him when he notices something else on the floor. He picks it up and looks at it before smirking. I give him a questioning look and he says, "Remember the guy who gave me this letter?"

I nod.

"Well, this is his business card…I have forgotten about this over the years but…I think I might just call him."

He turns the card around so I can read it.

**Carl Mitchells ~ CEO**

**212-555-7894**

cmitchells NYCHHC . org

_NYC Health & Hospitals Corporation_

**Mission:**_ To provide in-home care for  
those who need it regardless of_

_medical reason._

"Do you want me to make that call?" he asks me and I nod. "All right…once I have everything moved into a new house, I'll call Carl."

"H-how-ssss **[House]**?"

"You didn't think we'd actually be able to live in that second floor apartment of mine, did you?" Vincent raises his eyebrow as I shake my head. "Thought so. It might be a couple of months until we can officially live together but I'll start looking for a new home tomorrow. Will a one-story home be okay to you?"

I nod as he slips into the bed beside me. He wraps his arms around my stomach and places his head against the crook of my neck while he spoons me. "You have no idea how happy you make me, Catherine Chandler." He kisses the back of my head and before long, we are both sleeping soundly. I feel like Vincent has this special power over me; he's able to wipe my fears away with a single embrace and I'm grateful for his presence in my life.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**June 30****th****, 2012**

I never thought I would be able to live to see this day happen before my own eyes. Here I am, sitting in my wheelchair in my mother's wedding dress and facing the man I love more than anything in the world. I don't think I've seen him any happier than this very moment.

"We are gathered here today, on this happy and joyous occasion, to join Vincent Ryan Keller and Catherine Elizabeth Chandler in holy matrimony." Pastor Ron, my dad's friend, says as he looks at the audience. We have a small crowd; just our closest family and friends but I don't care how many people came. I'm sharing this moment with my lover; my best friend. That's all I could ever ask for.

"Marriage," Pastor Ron continues, "is a solemn institution to be held in honor by all, it is the cornerstone of the family and of the community. It requires of those who undertake it a complete and unreserved giving of one's self…" Vincent never removes his eyes from me as Pastor Ron gives his speech. "…symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives and still enhances the individuality of each of you. Now, it is time for Vincent to say his vows to Catherine."

As Vincent holds my hands, he starts speaking, "Catherine, for many years, you have meant the world to me. I remember falling in love with you the moment you crash landed into twenty bicycles on your first day of classes." He grins as he hears the audience laugh. "I was in a rough place for a long time in my life but even after telling you all of the horrible things I've done in my past, you still stayed with me. Like I've said once before, you shine brighter than anyone I've ever met. I promise you, Catherine Elizabeth Chandler, I will do everything in my power to protect your shine. As your husband, I will unconditionally love you for the rest of eternity. I will be there for you and cherish you every single day as if my life depended on it. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things." He finishes as he slides my wedding band on my finger and connects it to my engagement ring.

"Catherine, please share your vows with Vincent." Pastor Ron says to me. Heather unfolds the piece of paper I had written yesterday and starts to read it.

_**Vincent, we have traveled a long road together and have faced many trials to get to where we are today. Despite the ups and downs we've experienced together, I never stopped loving you. If you were never here in my life, I don't think I would be able to survive this disease. Through everything, you have been my rock whether we were together or separated. You never gave up on our relationship even when I had. From this moment on, I know our road is only going to get harder as my disease worsens. I don't know—**_

Heather pauses for a moment and sniffs out loud as she starts to cry while reading my words.

—_**I don't know how much longer I have to live but…for whatever time I have left…I will be honored to share the rest of my days on Earth as your wife. I can't—**_

Heather pauses again but continues to read after another sniff.

—_**I can't promise you much but…despite my disease…I do promise to love you and cherish you as my husband for every single day I am alive. Vincent, this is my vow to you, my soul mate. **_

Heather helps me place the ring on Vincent's finger as I smile at him with teary eyes.

"Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Pastor Ron states before Vincent bends down and presses his lips against mine. People start clapping joyously and the pastor finally says, "For the first time ever, I introduce Mr. and Mrs. Vincent Ryan Keller."

**Beauty and the Beast**

"I know it's temporary," Vincent says as he carries me up to his apartment floor, "but…welcome home for a night, Catherine Keller."

He carries me over the threshold and brings me to his bed. He quickly disappears for a minute to fetch my abandoned wheelchair as well as lock the front door before he re-enters OUR bedroom.

For just this night, we forget about rules as our bodies re-discovered their lost touches. For one night, we break the rules and decide to satisfy our desires for one another. Just like our first night making love when I was a freshman at Hudson University, Vincent makes me feel beautiful again. We may not be able to make love like regular people but with determination and strong sexual desire, we are able to make the impossible possible.

And I can't be happier.

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I don't want to die! I want to live!_

_(Aya Kitou-Ch. 4)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara**: WOW! A LOT has happened in this chapter! YAYAYAYAYAY! :) Don't worry, there's still at least one or two chapters left! :) Prepare your ice cream and tissues!

**Catherine's Engagement/ Wedding Ring Set: **http *COLON*SLASH*SLASH* 4***DOT***bp***DOT***blogspot***DOT***com/_d5ccPKEgGNU/TBm7ipimG4I/AAAAAAAAAB4/DwhHlSqW4 uk/s1600/ENS1714_1HT+Matching+Band***DOT***jpg

**Vincent's Wedding Band:**http *COLON*SLASH*SLASH* richterphillips***DOT***com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/titanium-weddi ng-band-ring***DOT***jpg

**Catherine's Wedding Dress:** http *COLON*SLASH*SLASH* www***DOT***rainingblossoms***DOT***com/5063-14413-large/chiffon-sweetheart-neckline-s heath-wedding-dress-with-crisscross-bodice***DOT***jpg


	25. And My Tears Start to Fall Down My Face

**Author's Note: **Nothing new at the moment.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Four:**__**And My Tears Start to Fall Down My Face**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**August 5, 2012**

**Vincent's POV**

"I'll be out for a little while, Catherine." I say to my wife before kissing her on the forehead. "Nurse Erin is going to stay in here while I'm out. So she'll be here if you need anything. Okay?"

She nods so I ask one more question, "Is there anything you need while I'm out?"

"Newwww…dyyy-ahhh-reee."

"You want a new diary?"

"Yehhhs." Catherine nods.

"All right, love. I'll go and pick one up on my way home."

"Thehhhhhnk…yuuuuu."

"You're welcome." I smile and give her a goodbye kiss before leaving to run my errands. First stop: Aunt Vivian's.

**Beauty and the Beast**

When I arrive in Astoria, every reason I made for NOT returning floods back into my mind. This neighborhood gives me the chills, so many memories I want to forget.

I knock on Aunt Vivian's front door when I hear her shout, "Coming!" She opens the door and steps back, surprised. "Why Vincent, what a wonderful surprise!"

"Quit the theatrics, Aunt Vivian. You and I both know you were never fond of me so stop trying to act all loving." I state firmly. "I've got a bone to pick with you."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Two years ago, you ambushed my ex-girlfriend and filled her mind with horrible lies! You also played with her obvious insecurities so you could have your way with her!"

"What on EARTH are you talking about, Vincent!? I would do no such thing!" she fires back.

"BULLSHIT!" I curse. "Why would Catherine lie about something like that?! Why would she tell my best friend, JT, that YOU were the one who poisoned her mind when I've never even told her about you before?! If you have those answers, I would LOVE to hear about them!"

"Vincent, mind your tongue and control your temper!" Aunt Vivian stands her ground.

"Don't tell me what to do, BITCH!" I state. "Because of your unwanted meddling, Catherine and I faced two full years of separation! Catherine and I are too damn stubborn for our own good and once our minds are made up, it takes a full-blown MIRACLE in order to change them. Luckily, JT finally stepped in and took matters into his own hands. If it weren't for him, Catherine and I would still be separated."

"Vincent, you can't possibly consider reconnecting with that…that…dehumanized tramp!" Aunt Vivian says.

I slam my fist against her wall and shout, "DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!"

"I'll say what I want! Mind you, Vincent, this is MY house!"

"Oh, don't worry; I'm not planning on stepping a single foot into this Godforsaken house even if my life depended on it. You can cross me off of your damn will because I have no freakin' desire of inheriting ANYTHING from you! You stay away from Catherine, hear me?" I start to walk away but she screams my name.

"VINCENT KELLER! IF YOU WALK OUT OF THAT DOOR, YOU'LL BE DISOWNED!"

"Newsflash, Aunt Vivian, I never belonged to you in the first place. You were just the hag that took care of me after my father passed away. Not ONCE did you treat me like a son! All you cared about was the bonus you would get for taking in a charity case! That's all I was to you! A charity case! Well you know what!? I don't give an effing care about how you feel about me! Want to know why?!" She stares at me in astonishment as I continue, "I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world and you can't even come between us!"

Without another word, I stormed out of her house with hopes of never having to deal with that motherf***er ever again.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: August 30****th****, 2012**

**Catherine's POV**

A month has passed since I married the love of my life and if things were different, I would say my life is perfect. However, because of my condition, I am still living in the hospital. Vincent is having a hard time finding a home that fits our needs so life has been a little stressful. Regardless, he still makes it an effort to see me every day and stay with me every night. He and I thought it would be best for him to take a semester off from school in order to buy him more time to look for a home.

Heather has been a big help too. When she has time, she goes with Vincent to help him look but so far, both have come up empty-handed. I'm sure they'll find a place eventually.

Since Vincent spends more time looking for a home, he doesn't have time to find a job. Luckily, my parents have been so generous to provide us the money we need so we don't end up being homeless if Vincent cannot find us a home. I wish I could help him but I barely have enough energy to stand on my own two feet.

Suddenly, my husband rushes into my hospital room and unexpectedly gives me a huge kiss. I give him a strange look and as he takes my hands into his, he says, "As of today, Mrs. Keller, we now have a home!"

I smile really big and hug him as best as I can. He kisses me again before pulling out the deed. "I can start moving our things into the house in a week. The realtor needs to finalize some paperwork but I practically told her to do whatever she needs to do to get things done."

He pulls out his phone and presses a few buttons on his screen before presenting a beautiful one-story house with a white picket fence. "I realized finding a place that meets our expectations in New York City would be almost impossible so I started looking in other areas. It turns out; this home was waiting for us in Inwood. So, after getting your sister's opinion, she and I both agree that this home is perfect for us."

"Byuuu….tihhh…fuhlll **[Beautiful]**." I smile.

He places the photos on my desk and kisses my forehead. "Once everything is moved in, I'll give Carl a call so we can start making arrangements for you to start staying at our new home. Would you like that?"

I nod with a smile and we share a kiss one more time before a nurse walks in to take some tests. Despite my disease, everything seems to slowly be working in my favor.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: December 01, 2012**

It's been almost four months since Vincent and I started living in a new house where I am given the care I need 24/7 free of charge. When my husband called Carl, he of course was very sympathetic towards us and arranged everything within a week. He even pops by every once and a while to check and make sure everything is up to par.

Dr. Marks is always on call so if I need any professional medical assistance, he's a call away and, luckily, Vincent and I live close to a public service building just in case I need an ambulance. Carl has been a great help these past four months. He suggested we use one room as a care facility and the other room as Vincent and my bedroom. When I don't need to be hooked up to monitors, my husband and I sleep in our bedroom. Our care facility has everything I need in case of an emergency. I have an aspirator and everything else I need to accommodate my disease. The only times I would ever need to go to the hospital is if Dr. Marks isn't able to make it out here for a trip.

I have been incredibly happy being away from the city with the love of my life but…even long-term happiness…has its end.

"Good morning, Sunshine." Vincent whispers to me as he stretches his arms. "How did you sleep?"

"Ohhhh…kehhhhh **[Okay]**."

"I know the feeling." He replies before kissing my forehead. "I'll go and brew us some coffee. Sound good?"

I nod in response before he slips out of our bed and disappears out of our bedroom. Stupidly, I decide to try and get into my wheelchair by myself. I hold onto the bed as I try putting pressure on my feet. The instant my feet touch the ground; I lose my balance and sink to the floor.

"The coffee is in the pot." I hear Vincent say as he makes his way back into our room. When he sees me on the floor, he rushes to me. "What happened?"

"I…cehhh…nahhh…wahhh…ehh…eee…mohhh **[I cannot walk anymore]**."

"We'll get through this, love!" he states as he picks me up and places me in my wheelchair. "Just because you can't walk anymore doesn't mean you have to stay in bed. I'll carry you to your wheelchair every day, okay? Just like every other problem we've faced, we can get through this one too." He kisses my forehead before pushing me out of our room and into the family room.

"How is Mrs. Catherine?" Nurse Alicia asks Vincent as she walks in to check up on me.

"She's fine right now. She just needs to relax." He replies.

"All right. Let me know if she needs anything." She says before heading to her bedroom. When we bought the house, we decided it would be easier if we made the third room into a nurse quarters for two nurses to be at the house at all times. Vincent's doctor instincts wanted to make sure I received the care I needed all day every day.

"I think your sister is planning on making an appearance today, Catherine, around one. Is there anything you want to do until then?" Vincent asks and I nod.

"Behhh…wihhhh…yuuuu **[Be with you]**." I say as I touch his arm. He smiles and nods before leaning in to kiss me. Afterwards, he picks me up into his arms and brings me over to the couch. He holds me against him and kisses my temple.

"I love you, Catherine. So much." He whispers to me. "I am proud to be your husband, my love." I lean into him as much as I can as I try to hide my tears. Vincent has been so loving to me even after everything I've put him through. I'm afraid of the day I will have to give him up. I don't pray that much but…if God really exists out there, I only ask that He lets me live long enough to live a happy and fulfilled life.

One finally came and not only does Heather make an appearance but so do Mom and Dad. Dad shakes Vincent's hand while Mom and Heather approach me.

"Sis, I've got some big news!" Heather exclaims.

I give her a look of curiosity so she claps her hands together and says, "Remember that family photo we took shortly before you left for college?"

I barely remember. Heck, I can't even remember who I was five years ago. It's been so long and so many changes have happened.

"Well, I got some inspiration and decided to paint a family portrait identical to that photograph! But that's not the best part! As of this very moment, it is hanging on the wall of the Arts Building at Hudson University!"

I smile. "Cahhh…grahhhh…ulll…ehhh…shuhhhh…sssss **[Congratulations]**."

"Thank you, Big Sis!" she hugs me.

I look at my younger sister and then to my mom. "Tayyy…khhh…meeee…bahhhh….tooooo…Huhhh…sohh…Yuuuu** [Take me back to Hudson U]**."

Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at me.

"Peeeees…I…wahhh…toooo…seeee…ihhhh **[Please, I want to see it]**."

"I don't see the harm in it." Mom smiles as she places her hands on my shoulders. "If Catherine wants to go and see her sister's painting, I think we should take her. I know taking her out of the house has risks but we will have basically two doctors with her if anything goes wrong."

"If it's what Catherine wants, then we will go over there right now." Vincent says and he smiles at me.

He picks me up into his arms as my father pushes my chair outside to put it into his car. My husband places me in the back seat, buckles me in and sits right next to me. I lean against him as everyone else files into the car before we finally hit the road.

On the way to Hudson University, everyone is quiet. I wonder if the reason we hardly have car ride conversations is because of me. Does everybody find it awkward to talk since I can barely make a sound? Maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe…maybe I blame everything on my disease because it seems like the obvious answer.

Who knows.

After we park in the guest parking lot, the five of us make our way to the school's gate when someone calls out my sister's name. "Heather!"

"Hi Jessica!" Heather smiles as she walks up to her friend.

"I thought you had to visit family today." Jessica states as she looks at my sister with confusion.

"I did! I went over to my parents' place today to tell them of my painting. Then the three of us went to my sister's place to tell her too!" Heather exclaims. "I know you've met my parents already but you have yet to meet my sister."

Jessica looks at all of us but gives Heather a doubtful look. "Where? I don't see her."

"She's right here, silly goose." Heather says as she points at me. She walks over to me, places her hand on my shoulder and smiles. "This is Catherine, the best oldest sister in the world." She then points to Vincent and continues, "Last but not least, this is Vincent. He's Catherine's husband."

"Oh. I see." Jessica fakes a smile. "Well, it looks like it's almost time for my morning Pilates Class. See you around!" Before Heather could summon a single response or even a thought, Jessica zooms away as if a lion is chasing her.

"People can be so rude sometimes." Heather rolls her eyes and turns to look at me. "I'm sorry sis."

I smile, showing her that it's all right. I'm used to the scrutiny by now. Maybe everything IS my disease's fault.

We finally arrive in front of my sister's painting. She seems so proud of her work, as she should be, while she presents it to me. "See, Cat!? The school actually recognizes my talent!"

"Ihhh…ihhhsss…beee…yuuuu…tihhhh…fuhhh **[It is beautiful]**." I smile.

"Thanks." Heather says as she gives me a light hug from behind. "You're the best, Cat."

As I stare at the painting, I cannot help but be grateful for my sister's hard work. Suddenly, memories of my time at Hudson U begin flooding back into my mind as if it were only yesterday. I'm glad I came back, if only for a little while, because looking at my sister's painting reminded me of the person I used to be—the 19-year-old me who was healthy and happy. It also reminded me that, at one time, Catherine Chandler was indeed alive at this school.

**Beauty and the Beast**

Although I wanted to stay at the campus for a little while longer, Vincent and I needed to return home because I had an appointment with Dr. Marks. Instead of me going to the hospital, he's arranged my check-up to be at my home so I can be somewhere comfortable. When he finally arrives, Vincent leads him to our medical room where I'm sitting and waiting.

"Hello Catherine. How are you adjusting to living in this home?" Dr. Marks asks me.

"Gooooooh **[Good]**." I say with a smile.

"Have there been any changes since the last check-up?"

I nod in response.

"Like what?"

"She can't seem to put any weight on her feet anymore." Vincent replies.

Dr. Marks nods his head and sighs, "Just as I expected…" He then takes a seat in the chair next to Vincent and says, "Catherine, I'm sure you and your husband are fully aware of this but as your doctor I must warn you of the current dangers you'll be facing. Since there is little to no strength within your legs, you'll be more susceptible to falling if you try to do anything on your own. You're going to need someone with you at all times because, now, you won't even be able to use the toilet without falling down. Do you understand?"

I nod so he continues, "I will make an effort to check on you weekly and you'll have nurses here in case anything goes wrong. This may be hard to process but…you need to be aware that, at this stage of your disease, anything can happen."

He doesn't have to sugarcoat it…I know what he's trying to say…

In his own way of words, he's hinting that I don't have that much longer to live…

"Even though this is the case," he adds as he places his hand on my shoulder, "Even though this is the case, Catherine, I promise you I will not give up on finding a cure for you. Okay?"

"Ohhhh…kehhhhh **[Okay]**." I say before he commences the rest of the examination.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: March 13, 2013**

**Vincent's POV**

Last January, Catherine told me she wanted me to resume my studies at Columbia University. At first, I wanted to object her request but because I knew I needed to go back eventually, I decided it was best for me to resume classes. Near the beginning of the school year, I thought school would help me keep my mind off of things at home but in all actuality, being away from Catherine made me worry even more.

"Hey Keller! You coming to the game this weekend?! I hear there are some hot chicks waiting to be laid!" Chris exclaims as he runs up to me.

"Sorry, but in case you haven't noticed the RING on my finger, I'm MARRIED!" I say in annoyance.

"So?" he gives me a strange look before stopping me from leaving him. "Look, dude, we all know you're married to some sick chick who can't take in your dick so you're obviously sex deprived."

I grab his collar and tug him closer to me. "Don't you EVER talk about my wife like that again! She may not be able to walk, talk perfectly or move properly, but she's ten times the person you'll ever be! If I ever hear you or anyone else talk poorly about the love of my life, college exams will be the LAST thing you will need to worry about. Got that?!"

He nods so I put him down. "Jeez, Keller! I was only kidding! You need to chill out, man!" Chris says before racing off. People like him shouldn't have a reason to exist on the planet. Honestly, what do people have against the disabled!

When I get home, the nurses politely greet me as I make my way into my bedroom. When I open the door, I see Catherine struggling as she writes in her diary. "Catherine, love, you don't need to force yourself. If you don't feel like writing, you don't need to write."

She shakes her head and keeps on writing. "Catherine? Take a break okay?"

She stops for a moment and slowly tries to voice her thought. "I…em…scehhhrd…. Ryyyyt…nowww…, ihhhf…I…d-dohhh…ryyyyy…dowwww…th-the…worrrrs…ahhhn …m-myyy…hahhhrt…, toooo-maaah-rohhh…myyyy…feeeeh-lihhhsss…wihhhl…dih hh-sahhh-peeeer…ryyyyt **[I am scared. Right now, if I don't write down the words on my heart, tomorrow, my feelings will disappear, right]**?"

"Catherine…" I say but nothing that comes to mind can respond to her statement.

"Vihhh-cehhh…th-thihhhs…dyyy-ehhh-reee…ihhhhs…ehhh -vihhh-dehhhnse…thaaaat…I…ehhhm…ahhh-lyyyyv...ryyy yt…nahhhw **[Vincent, this diary is evidence that I am alive, right now]**." She takes a moment to catch her breath before she continues to speak. "Yuuuu…haaaav…sohhh…muhhhsh…toooo….ryyyyt…dowwww…s tihhhl…. Yuuuu…sehhhd…thaaa…ryhhht **[You have so much to write down still. You said that, right]**?"

"I did." I reply with a smile.

"Ihhht-sss…yuuuu…hooo…hehhhhlpd…meeee…fyyyn…reeee- sahhhhn…toooo…lihhhv…ahhhn **[It's you who helped me find reason to live on]**." She looks at me pathetically. How can I ask her to stop the one thing that helps her through the day when I'm gone? If writing is her anchor to live, then what else can I do?

"All right, love. Continue writing for as long as you want." I say before kissing her forehead. "I'll be in taking a nap if you need me."

She nods in response so I walk over to our bed and collapse onto the covers. Who knew senior year of grad school could be so exhausting?!

About an hour later, I wake up and find Catherine sleeping with her head on top of her desk. I walk over to her, pick her up and place her on the bed. Then I put the cap on the marker when her most recent entry catches my attention.

_**D, **_

_**3/13/2013**_

_**I woke up this morning and found myself crying. I told my husband I wanted him to go back to school but in all actuality, I miss him. He's never here when I wake up and when he comes home, I'm exhausted and want to sleep. I fear that one day, I might need him and he won't be here. What should I do? Tell him to stop going to school? Never! He's almost a doctor and there's no way I can take that dream away from him! NO WAY!**_

_**Sometimes I feel like only one of us can truly be happy at a time. Right now; it's Vincent. **_

_**~C**_

I look towards my sleeping bride and cannot seem to stop the tears falling down my face. I hate how she has to always feel conflicted when she's thinking of others. Doesn't she know it's okay to be selfish?!

I return to our bed and wrap my arms around her to pull her close to me. "I love you," I whisper before I join her in a long and much needed nap.

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

_Is it only a matter of me being patient? One year ago, I could stand, I could talk and I could laugh. Now, I can't walk, however much I try, however much I grit my teeth and try to hold on with a frown.  
'Mom, I can't walk anymore,' I wrote on a piece of paper, restraining my tears. 'I can't stand even if I hold on to something.'  
I opened the door slightly and gave it to her. I closed the door again quickly because I didn't want her to see my face, and I knew it would be painful to see Mom's face._

_(Aya Kitou-Ch. 6: Mom, I Can't Walk Anymore)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **Okay so I lied. There won't be two more chapters left. I realized I still have room for AT LEAST four to five more chapters. So hang in there! Let me know what you thunk! :)


	26. As Moon Starts to Shine from Horizon

**Author's Note: **My brother graduated from college! Yay! :)

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**Second Author's Note:**So there is a certain amount of chapters I want to have for this fanfiction to correlate with the lyrics used for the chapter titles so in order to do that, I'll need to write shorter chapters. We can all agree that a lot has happened in each chapter so for now on, the chapters will be about half as long. Hopefully by doing this, I will be able to update more frequently, but if not, I may consider going back to the longer chapters thing and figure out what to do with the story. I have the main plotline down; it's just the little fillers I gotta figure out. Soooooo…after reading this chapter, please tell me if you want me to continue doing longer chapters! Thank you! The next chapter will be uploaded either late tonight (central, US time) or sometime tomorrow! I promise not to leave you in the hanging for too long b/c this chapter will have a big cliffie.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

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One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

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_**Chapter Twenty-Five:**__**As the Moon Starts to Shine from the Horizon**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: May 25, 2013**

**|Vincent's POV|**

Since I only had two months left until graduating from grad school, I decided to continue with the program until my graduation. Two weeks have passed and I can't even think about applying for work right now. My wife needs me and for as long as she is in my life, I will be by her side. The hospital can wait for me, Catherine cannot.

Because Catherine's doctor could not make the extra trip to our house today, we decided it would easier for him if we met him at the hospital instead.

"I would like to thank both of you for making the extra trip out here today but I must advise against it in the future." Dr. Marks states. "Catherine, as is, your immune system is incredulously low; it is crucial for you to stay at home in your natural environment from now on. If I can't make the visit, I will notify you via phone call and instead, we can reschedule. Okay?"

"Ohhhh-kehhhh." My wife responds.

"Vincent," Dr. Marks looks at me, "May I speak with you for a moment, alone?"

"Ummm…sure." I say nervously before he and I walk outside his office so Catherine won't hear us. "Is everything all right?"

"There hasn't been much change in her disease aside from her voice's decreased pitch and volume. However, I didn't bring you out here to talk about Catherine's condition. I came here to ask you something."

"Oh. What?"

"I think…for your wife's benefit, you hire a doctor to be staying at your house 24/7. Catherine's condition is at a delicate stage…anything could happen. If she chokes again, you're going to need someone who is close by to use the aspirator since I won't be able to make it to your home on time."

"Dr. Marks, in case you have memory loss, I have a degree in emergency medicine. I know pretty damn well how to use an aspirator."

"I'm not undermining your skills, Vincent. However, I don't think it would be appropriate for you to be her doctor when she's at home."

"And why the hell not?"

"Vincent, trust me when I say this, when Catherine's time comes, you do not want to be the doctor who tried to save her life. You'll instantly regret it and will blame yourself for her death. I advise you to find someone else to be her doctor while you're at home. If not, I suggest Catherine be re-admitted to the hospital. Of course you do not have to make a decision right away and you're welcome to discuss this with your wife but, by the end of the week, I'll need to know if she wants to continue living at home or start living at the hospital again. Do you see where I am getting at?"

I nod. "Yes…but like you said, it's our decision. I will do whatever Catherine decides; it is her life after all. She has every say in the matter as I do."

"Of course she does."

"If you agree with that, Dr. Marks, then I suggest, in the future, you decide to talk to BOTH of us instead of just speaking with me. Need I remind you, Catherine and I are a team, now. Please keep that in mind."

"I understand." Dr. Marks nods his head and steps away from my door so I can return to my wife. When I walk back inside, I find her sleeping with her head lying on top of Dr. Marks's desk.

"Hey, Sweetie." I whisper into her ear. "It's time to go home now." She opens her eyes and inhales a deep yawn. "Sleepy?" She nods in response. "All right, well, when we get back home, you can take a nap. How does that sound?"

She smiles at me before I push her out of Dr. Marks's office. Before she and I could make it out of the lobby, Catherine's former physical therapist walks up to us. "I would like the two of you to meet a group of fifth year students who are about to start their summer clinical practicum." We look at the students behind Dr. Rhoads and they nod at us.

"Sure…" I reply to him.

"Students," Dr. Rhoads turns to the flock of fifth-years and says, "Please meet Mr. and Mrs. Vincent Keller. Catherine, a patient of the neurology department, has a disease known as Spinocerebellar Ataxia. For a time, I was her physical therapist. Vincent, her husband, has recently finished his fourth year of med school and plans on being a doctor someday like all of you."

They shake my hand and individually introduce themselves but none of them shake Catherine's hand. One, however, bends down to the floor, and says in a 'kid' voice, "Good afternoon, Catherine."

"Hehhh-lohhhh **[Hello]**."

"We are here to study so we can become doctors in the future." He holds out his stethoscope as if he's trying to make her understand him. "It's very nice to meet you, Catherine."

"Nysss…toooo…meeeee…yuuuuu…tooooo **[Nice to meet you too]**."

The doctor-to-be looks back at Dr. Rhoads before continuing his conversation with my wife. "It's a bit difficult, isn't it? Sorry about that."

As they start to walk away, I say with a firm voice, "I think you guys need to study harder."

They turn to look at me and the one who spoke to Catherine, replies, "Why do you say that?"

"Spinocerebellar Ataxia does not, in any way, affect the patient's mental status; only his or her mobility and speech. Catherine may not be able to walk and talk like all of you but she's smarter than anyone gives her credit for. Her intelligence is the same as yours. So next time you see her here, don't talk to her like she's in pre-school. Understand?"

Instead of saying anything, the group of 5th year students walks away. Catherine looks at me and smiles. "Th-thehhhnchhh…yuuuuu **[Thank you]**."

I press my lips to her forehead and mumble, "You're welcome, my love."

_You're welcome…_

After we get back home, it's close to dinner time. We eat a slow dinner because I don't want my wife to feel rushed in order to keep up with my eating pace. Every meal is slow; I don't mind it at all because Catherine and I have what I didn't have growing up—a family dinner.

Once I finish the table and the dishes, I ask Catherine if there's anything she wants to do before we take our bath together. For some reason, she wants to go stargazing in our backyard. I'm not sure how many stars we'll see tonight since we're pretty close to NYC but if it's what she wants, then I'm willing.

I lay down a blanket on the grass outside and then walk back into the house to fetch my wife. I pick her up into my arms and carry her to the thro blanket before placing her down. I sit behind her so she can lean on my chest for support while she looks at the sky.

"Looooh!" Catherine exclaims as she slowly points to her right. I follow her finger and see the moon start rising above the horizon.

"It's big, isn't it!?" I reply as I pull her against me. "Kind of comforting, I think."

She nods her head and I add, "Maybe it's a sign of hope…"

She slowly turns her head to face me and says, "I…d-dohhhhn…neeeee…hohhhp…. I…haaaa-veh…ahhhhl…I….ehhh-vuhhh…wahhh-nehhhhd **[I don't need hope. I have everything I ever wanted]**." She smiles a weak smile and presses her lips against my chin. I think she was trying to aim for my mouth but with her wonky depth perception, she accidentally missed. I gently cup her face and pull her in for a soft kiss.

She pulls away and asks, "W-wahhhy…ahhhhr…yuuuuuh…k-k-kryyyy-ihhhhn **[Why are you crying]**?"

I kiss her forehead and hold her as close to me as I possibly can but shake my head. "It's nothing…I'm just…really happy you're here in my life."

She smiles brightly and snuggles against my chest. How do I tell her what I'm truly feeling? How on Earth do I tell her that, for the first time, I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I am slowly losing my best friend, my lover, my wife? How do I tell her? How?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: June 5, 2013**

**|Catherine's POV**

It's been a few days since my visit with Dr. Marks and I feel like my husband is keeping something from me. I wonder if it has to do with anything Dr. Marks had said to him in the hallway. Either way, I wish he would just tell me what's on his mind.

"Mrs. Catherine?" My nurse, Erin, walks into my room with a trey of hot soup and water. "I have your lunch ready."

"Thehhhhnchhh…Yuuuuu."

"Not a problem." She places the trey on top of my little bed-desk that Vincent bought for me so I can write in my diary before bedtime. "It's a little bit hot so I recommend you blow on the soup before placing it into your mouth."

I nod in response and as the phone starts ringing. "I'll get it." Erin smiles. She walks away to answer the phone so I wait to eat in case the person at the end of the line is my husband. As of right now, he's grocery shopping so who knows when he'll be back. Erin walks back inside and says, "That was your sister, Heather. She says she's going to stop by in a few minutes so she wanted you to expect her arrival."

"Ohhh-kehhhh… Yuuuu…cehhhh…tehhhk…yohhhr…b-brehhhk…nahhhw **[Okay. You can take your break now]**."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Catherine, I can't do that. You see, I'm the only nurse on staff today. Alicia has called in sick so I am to be here with you until the night shift nurse arrives." Erin replies.

"I…wihhhl…bihhh…fyyyy-neh…. Tehhhk…ahhh…b-brehhhk **[I will be fine. Take a break]**."

"But Mrs. Catherine! I can't do that!" I give her a stern look and she looks defeated. "Fine, but I will be in the nurse's resting room so if you need anything at all, press your panic button. Okay?"

I nod in response so she leaves. I can't have her fainting on the job, can I? She looks like she's been working too hard and if I really need her, she needs to be healthy.

About a minute later, I test the liquid of my soup and finally, it is slurpable. I slowly pick up my spoon and manage to dip it into the bowl. After a few attempts, I raise it up and place the contents into my mouth. As I start to swallow, I can't seem to push the food down my throat! I immediately drop my spoon, not caring where it lands. While I grab my throat, I accidentally knock my bed-desk off of the bed and everything falls to the floor. I try coughing to push the food out of my mouth but nothing is happening!

As I cough, I try to press the panic button but don't seem to have enough muscle energy to press it. As an attempt to vomit, I try sticking my fingers towards the back of my throat and leaning over my bed. In doing so, I lose my balance and fall onto the floor, landing in the hot spilled soup and broken glass.

Is this it?

Is this how I'm going to die?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

_I had instant ramen noodles for lunch today - -known for the slogan 'Just add hot water and it's ready in three minutes.' Because I can't sip soup well, I choke easily. It's very painful, you know. If I choked and couldn't breathe when nobody was with me, it could be fatal._

_(Aya Kitou-Ch. 6)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara**: Yes, I know this was a shorter chapter but I hope you love it all the same. Like I said, most of the future chapters will be shorter for a few reasons: 1) I need to reach a certain chapter amount. 2) It will stretch out the story a little so nothing seems like it is happening too fast. 3) I need to give my poor hands a break b/c they hurt after typing just 5 pages IMAGINE typing ten or even twenty like I have in the past!?

Please read and review! I really appreciate those!

* * *

On further note, in regards to **Serendipity**, I am going to take that story down, re-upload which ever chapters I plan on keeping and then continue from there. I won't do it right away because I'm still not sure where I want the story to go so for now, it will stay and I will continue working on other known projects. Once I figure out where I want to story to go, I will be doing some major changes! :)

Oh! and once** One Litre** is done, look for a new fic from me shortly afterwards b/c I already have quite a few in mind. Not sure which one I'll write first though!

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Toodles!


	27. I am Used to My Loneliness

**Author's Note: **So I lied…Said the next chapter would be up yesterday…As you know, it wasn't. . Life happened! Can't always get what we wish for :/

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Six:**__**I am Used to My Loneliness  
**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: June 5, 2013**

**Heather's POV**

I am so excited to see my sister today! I haven't seen her for a while and really want to catch up. Over the years, with Cat having that disease, my life had a MAJOR perspective change. I used to never have a care in the world about things because I lived a very good life. Some people think my life is miserable since my sister is slowly dying but I think it's the opposite. Because of her disease, my sister and I have actually grown closer as siblings.

I may not be the sick sister but I understand a lot of how Cat feels. The time I have left with my sister is more precious than anything…. I don't know what will be the last thing I say to her so every moment counts.

A lot of my friends ask me if Cat fears death and of course, like everyone, she does. However, all of us are afraid to die but I think everyone fears losing someone more than their own deaths.

That's my theory anyways.

Finally, I arrive at my sister's home and knock on the door. When no one answers, I try to jiggle the handle but it doesn't budge. "Hello?! Is anyone there?!"

I don't know why but all of a sudden, something crashes over me and I just know I have to get in there. I try kicking at the door but I'm not strong enough so I grab the nearest rock and smash the window open. I kick the remaining glass away from the window and wiggle my way through the opening, receiving a few cuts along the way.

I hear a loud thump and low coughs coming from Vincent and Cat's bedroom. I rush over to the door and shriek. "Oh my God! Cat!" Doing the only thing I can think of, I pull out my phone and call Vincent.

"_Hello?"_

"Thank GOD you picked up! Catherine is choking! I don't know what to do and I can't seem to find a nurse ANYWHERE!"

"_Where is she? In the bedroom or the medical room?!" _

"Bedroom. She's also bleeding, Vincent! Oh God! I can't lose my sister!" I start crying. "What do I do?!"

"_Heather, calm down! I need you to unlock the front door and take the groceries in while I take care of Catherine. Okay?!" _

"Okay!" I reply but pause when I see Cat lying on the floor unconscious. I place my fingers above her mouth and nose but cannot feel any air! "Vincent, she's not breathing!"

Suddenly, I hear a loud crashing sound and before I know it, Vincent is inside the room. I immediately end the phone call on my phone and jam it into my pocket.

"Heather, after you fetch the groceries, see if you can find the nurse. Okay?" Vincent states as he picks up my sister off the floor.

"O-okay…" I say hesitantly before running out the bedroom, only to find the front door knocked off its hinges. Looks like I wasn't the only one who was desperate to get in here.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Vincent's POV**

As Heather leaves, I carry my wife into the medical room, furious to find her unattended for. Where the hell are the nurses?! I place her on her hospital bed, grab a small flashlight and look down her throat. With the best of my ability, I swipe the contents in her throat out of her mouth by using my finger. Then, I open her airway by tilting her head backwards before placing my fingers on her carotid artery to find a pulse. Relieved to feel her heart still beating, I pick her up and place her on the floor for better support.

Then, I start doing chest compressions. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty." I press my ear against her mouth but still can't feel her breathing.

After pressing my lips to hers, I gently blow in two breaths of air.

Still nothing happens.

I check her pulse again, still beating.

I perform another round of CPR and finally by my twenty-sixth compression, her lungs gasp for air and she opens her eyes. I give her room to breathe for few seconds before picking her back up and placing her on her hospital bed. Then, I place the aspirator in her mouth and turn it on so it can suck up any excess fluids.

"H-how is she?" I hear Heather ask as I monitor the aspirator.

"She's breathing again…. Did you find the nurse?"

"Yeah…she's passed out on the floor of the nurse's room, sleeping."

"What the hell?!" I can't believe this! What kind of nurse sleeps on the job?!

Once I finish everything with Catherine, including stitching up her deeper cuts, I tell her to rest as I hook her up to an IV. Dr. Marks is right; either I need to hire a doctor to live with us or I need to take Catherine back to the hospital. Looks like Catherine and I will be making a heavy decision within the next few days. "Heather, can you stay with your sister as I find out what's going on with the nurse?"

"Sure." Heather answers so I leave the room and enter the nurse's room to find exactly as Heather says—Erin sleeping. I kick her shoe and she immediately wakes up.

"M-mr. Vincent!? You're back!"

"I'm so glad you've noticed." I reply, angrily. "Why were you sleeping?!"

"Your wife told me I can rest for a while. I'm the only nurse on duty and felt faint. Mrs. Catherine released me from my duties so I can rest up." She says, defending herself. "Why? Did something happen to her?!"

"Catherine almost DIED because of your poor judgement. Luckily her sister arrived and contacted me. What were you thinking, Erin?! The least you could have done was wait until Heather arrives!" I throw up my hands, trying to understand the whole thing.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have dozed off like that!"

"Damn right you shouldn't have!" I reply. "It's clear you're not well so I advise you to go home and get some rest. I'm going to call Carl and ask him to send another nurse to take over your shift. I'm sorry, Erin, but I can't afford for this to happen a second time. I have to let you go."

"Please don't! This is my only job and if you tell Dr. Carl that I've messed up, he'll fire me for sure!"

"Don't worry; I won't give you a bad rep. I'll just tell him things didn't work out; he doesn't need to know the details. I'll be sure you keep your job; you just can't work here anymore." I sigh.

"I'm so sorry." She starts crying.

"I am too." I mutter and add, "Leave after you've cleaned yourself up."

With that, I leave her in the room as she starts crying. I hate being the bad guy but I wasn't lying when I said I can't afford for something like this to happen again. Catherine' s life is jeopardized every day and I can't wait around, worried that she's not in good hands.

**Beauty and the Beast**

"Do you need me to do anything?" Heather asks, trying to find something she can do to help us out.

Even though there really isn't anything she can do right now, I can't have her NOT do something. "Sure…do you mind watching your sister for a while so I can make a phone call?"

"Of course!" Heather smiles and takes a seat next to Catherine's bed. "Go do what you need to do."

"Thanks." I say, exhausted. I walk out of the medical room and enter the kitchen. I'm close enough in case Heather calls for me but I'm far enough away where she won't be able to hear me either. After pulling out my phone, I dial Carl's number and patiently wait for him to pick up.

"_Carl Mitchells, how may I be of service to you?"_

"Hi…it's Vincent Keller…" I say sheepishly.

"_Oh of course! Hello Mr. Keller! How is your wife doing these days?" _

"Unfortunately, that's why I'm calling you. You see, there was a mishap today while I was running errands so…by the end of the week, I'll be taking Catherine back to the hospital. Her condition requires more than just nurses attending her, no offense, but thank you for the service you've provided for us for this long. It has been a great help."

"_Anytime…I'm sorry things weren't working out the way you were hoping. I won't ask any questions but I hope everything works out in the end. I want you to know that even though your wife's condition needs professional medical attention, you're still apart of the "In-home care" family so if you need to use our services again, just give me a call." _

"Thank you Carl for everything you've done for my Catherine. I'm eternally grateful."

"_Don't thank me, Mr. Keller. It is I who should be thanking you. You're brothers saved my life; it's only right I return the favor as best as I can. If it weren't for your brothers' courage and determination, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to do a wonderful business with you and your lovely wife; even if everything was free of charge." _Carl replies with gratitude.

"Thanks…and…Good luck with your business. I'm sure you'll make a lot of families happy just as you've done with mine. I'll keep your offer in mind for the future, Carl. Now, I must go; my wife needs me right now."

"_Of course. Take care, Mr. Keller. Give the misses my regards."_

"I will." I answer before ending the call. I've decided to take no chances; there's no choice in the matter. Catherine WILL return to the hospital for as long as need be; her life depends on it.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

"Hey! You're awake!" I hear my sister exclaim as I open my eyes.

"Wuhhhh…haaaa-ehhh-deh **[What happened]**?"

"Hmmm?" Heather doesn't understand me.

"She wanted to know what happened." I hear my husband say as he walks into the room.

"Oh." My sister says shamefully. I slowly reach my hand over to hers but just don't have the energy to reach it. Instead, she reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "I'm sorry, sis. I need to pay more attention to your words now."

"Catherine, what do you remember?" Vincent asks me. I shakily turn my head to look at my husband and give him as best as an answer I could.

"Ssssssuuuuuupeh."

"Soup?" Vincent looks at me questioningly so I nod my head. "What about your soup, love?"

I place my hand onto my throat to signify choking and he quickly nods his head. Vincent looks over to my sister and says, "She's going to be fine now."

"Thank goodness!" Heather exclaims and carefully wraps her arms around me. "I was so scared!" She eventually removes herself from our one-sided embrace and adds, "I hate to say this, sis, but I have to go…. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

I nod my head towards her and she smiles. She kisses my forehead and utters goodbye before leaving our home. Vincent takes a seat next to me and laces his fingers with mine. "You gave us quite the scare, Catherine."

"Ssss-ah-ah-ah-r-r-reeeee."

"I know you are." Vincent replies. "Catherine, we need to talk."

"A-b-b-b-owwwwt…wuhhh?"

"Not now, love. You need more rest so we'll talk in the morning. Okay?" Vincent squeezes my hand and I nod. Too tired to argue with barely even a voice.

"Dahhh-reeee?" I say as I ask Vincent for my diary. He stands up to his feet, walks out of the room briefly and returns with my personal journal. The night shift nurse, knocks on the door, announcing her presence. Vincent asks her to stay in the room with me in case anything was to happen. I guess he's not taking any chances with me.

Before Vincent leaves the room to give me some privacy, he kisses my temple and tells me he's going to make himself something to eat. When he disappears into the kitchen (supposedly), my nurse takes a seat in the chair across from my bed. As she pulls out a book to read, I open my diary to the next cleanest page and start writing the newest chapter of my life: today.

_**Diary, **_

_**7/5/13**_

_**I felt like I was going to die today…**_

_**Swallowed some soup and it got caught in my throat. No one was around to help me when I tried to cry out for it. Everything today was an awful experience—one I'm scared of feeling again. **_

_**I hated thinking I would never see my Vincent again…or the rest of my family. **_

_**I felt so lonely and I hated it...**_

_**Every second of it. **_

_**When I die, I want it to be slow and painless. I want to have time to say goodbye to the people I love. I may be used to my loneliness while living on Earth but, I wonder, is the afterlife just as lonely? **_

_**Will I be facing death alone?**_

_**Dying does not scare me; however, Death does. **_

_**To me, dying and death are different. **_

_**Dying is the natural process of life; death however, is everything that lies in the afterlife. I hear that God has created a place for everyone—whether it is Heaven or if it is Hell. I wonder which fate I will have; Heaven or Hell? What plan does God have for me? **_

_**Despite what people think, I do believe there's a God in this universe. How else could Vincent have entered my life at the most perfect time? I don't think Vincent's appearance in my life is accidental; God knew I would have this disease—it was in His Ultimate Plan. That's why He gave me Vincent; the man I am proud to share my life with. **_

_**No matter what hardships I have gone through during my life, I don't blame God for any of it. Vincent told me once that he believed there was a purpose for everything; I'm beginning to believe the same thing. If I never got this disease, I would have never shared my voice with others who are suffering like me; others who want to have a positive attitude like me. **_

_**I can see everything so clearly now. **_

_**God gave me this disease because He appointed me (in secret of course) to be His vassal—to (in a way) disciple other sick people to have hope and meaning in their lives. God knew my plan to want to help people and He's (in his own weird way) given me exactly what I wanted—even if it came in a different form than what I was expecting. **_

_**Instead of hating God for His Plan, I thank Him for the graces He has given me including Vincent and a wonderful family. I am sincerely blessed. I am alive today; I'll be grateful for that.**_

_**One last thing: After today's incident, I think I want to go back to the hospital. I love our home but I'm still not ready to let go of my life just yet. So…tomorrow, I'll talk (more like slur) about it to Vincent and see what he thinks. I think it's safe to say that if Vincent agrees with me and thinks I should go back to staying at the hospital indefinitely, I may not ever be coming home. **_

_**I've decided. It's no use to think about the negativities of my disease; it is what it is. **_

_**It's time to stop writing about my disease and focus on the good things of my life. That's what my other entries will be now… I'm closing this chapter of my life and starting a new one: Blessings. **_

_**~C**_

It took me almost two hours to complete my entry for the day. The nurse pushes my bed table to the side and tucks me in to sleep. I meant what I wrote earlier; I do think living at the hospital is the best choice for me. I want to live for as long as I possibly can—even if that means leaving the only home Vincent and I ever shared.

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**Beauty and the Beast**

_I think my life has finally reached the point where it's just one step before it will impossible to stay at home.  
I've decided to stop thinking on and on about my disease._

_(Aya Kitou—Ch. 7)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

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**Keiko Fujiwara: **Again, sorry for the longer wait! Hope you've enjoyed it! There's still about 8 more chapters (?) I think. I just gotta figure out what to put in them. :P

Read and Review please!


	28. I'll Fly Away Even Though I've No Wings

**Author's Note: **I am soooooo sorry for the delayed update! Life got in the way (yet again!). Also, I wasn't sure how to work this chapter in but I think I've got it figured out. Instead of focusing on Vincent and Catherine's POV during this chapter, I think it is important to explore the minds of Catherine's family, JT & Dr. Marks. I think the next few chapters will focus on their POVs during this whole ordeal.

**Note #2: **I have a "BATB" project and I need all of you loving BEASTIES out there! Please check out my YouTube video (YT address + [/watch?v=D9utbfKgwM4]) for more information!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Seven:**__**I'll Fly Away Even Though I've No Wings**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: November 2, 2013**

Ever since Vincent and I decided it was best to return to the hospital, I haven't been as happy as I have been when we were living at our home. I understand that living at the hospital is better for me since I need constant supervision but I still wish my husband and I could have more privacy.

"Hey…" Vincent whispers as he slips into my hospital bed next to me. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a gentle embrace. "We have about an hour and forty-five minutes to ourselves before your next check-up."

I nod in silence and lean into him, nuzzling my cheek to his chest. I honestly have no idea what I'd do if Vincent and I never met. I probably would have taken my life before I would ever face it alone.

As he interrupts my thoughts, he kisses my temple and laces his fingers with mine. "You received more fan-mail today; do you want me to read them to you?"

I shake my head the best I can and he nods. "Maybe later then."

Oh what I would give to be able to speak again.

My voice is completely gone now so unless someone is a really good lip or body language reader, I have to communicate using a letter chart. I know there are other technologies out there that I could use, like text-to-speech, but what good are they when I can't even type properly? Sometimes, I write out what I want to say to someone but even that is super time-consuming and not everyone is on my schedule.

"I got offered a job today…" Vincent mutters as if he were speaking to himself. I turn to look at him as he continues, "I turned it down though…."

I try to reach for my dry-erase board so I can talk to him but it's too far for me. Vincent sees I'm struggling so he hovers over me and grabs the board. When he comes back, he sneaks a kiss across my lips before handing me the object of interest. After placing the board in my lap, he gives me the marker once he pulls off its cap. Then, I write: _**Why did you turn it down?**_

"The job was too far for my tastes. It would have required me to move to Washington State and I just can't even think about leaving you for any length of time." Vincent replies. "You understand that, right?"

I nod slowly before erasing the ink off of the white surface.

"Um…do you want to watch some TV?" Vincent asks me but I shake my head.

I push back the board and snuggle, once more, against my husband. He runs his fingers through my hair, understanding my solitary need to be with him. Most days are like this. Other than writing, I really don't have a passion to do anything else. I mean, I could watch TV but I'm afraid that if I do…I'll lose the precious time I have left in the world.

All I want to do is spend every waking moment with my husband and with my family when they visit. I feel Vincent tightening his hold on me when he says, "Dr. Marks has given me permission to take you home to celebrate the Christmas holiday in a few weeks. He said you can stay home indefinitely."

I look at him confused, knowing that Christmas is more than a month away so he adds, "He wants us to celebrate Christmas early because the weather is bitter cold closer to the actual Christmas holiday. He told me you can stay at home indefinitely because he thinks it'll give you peace of mind. Will that be okay?"

I nod in response before leaning back against him.

"That's great." I can hear a sad smile in his voice. I wonder what's going through his head right now. Is he worried that this might be my last Christmas celebration? I wish his thoughts were more transparent right now but whatever he's feeling, there's nothing I can do to help him. I hate myself for that.

For the rest of the day, even during my check-ups with the nurse, Vincent did not leave my side. I think he's afraid to do so. In any case, I enjoy his company even if most of our conversations are one-sided; the best part: he doesn't seem to mind.

He's going to make a superb doctor one day—and I'll be watching him from Heaven, finally with a smile on my face.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**November 7****th****, 2013**

**Vanessa's POV**

It's frustrating going to work every day and facing the fact that your daughter is dying in the very building you've spent most of your life building a career in. Even as a mother, people stare at me and talk about my daughter behind my back. Sometimes, I just want to break out of my professional personality and punch those horrible people in the faces! But, unfortunately, if I did that, I would be fired from my job.

Right now, I'm in my office researching and researching and researching Catherine's disease. She doesn't know this but for the past several years, I have been trying to find a cure for her condition but no matter how much time and money I put into this project, I'm coming up empty handed.

Nothings worse than finally coming to the conclusion that your daughter's fate is final; she's going to die and there's literally nothing you can do for her. What's the purpose of being a mother if she can't protect her own children?!

"Hey Mom," I hear my youngest daughter say from behind me. I spin my chair around and see her standing with her arms behind her back.

"Heather, what're you doing here? Don't you have classes today?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"No…Two of my classes were cancelled because my professors are on a retreat. My other class finished earlier this morning." She replies. "Mom…"

I can tell she's trying to say something but, for some reason, the words aren't coming out of her mouth. "Yes, Sweetie?"

"I…um…I don't mean to sound rude…but…you haven't seen Catherine in over two months…." Heather states suddenly.

"I've been…busy."

"Doing what, Mom?! You work in the same hospital she's staying in, for crying out loud! Don't tell me you don't have time for your oldest daughter!"

"Heather, watch your tone!" I snap at her but she completely ignores me.

"Mom, no matter how many minutes you spend behind this desk of yours, Catherine is not going to get better!" she retorts. "When I was visiting her the other day, she wanted to know where you've been. I had to come up with some lame ass excuse of a lie in order to cover for you! However, I don't think she ever bought it!"

"I'll see her when I'm done working on my project, Heather." I say; she, however, shakes her head.

"NO! You see her now! Look, just because she's married now does not mean Vincent has replaced you or Dad. Catherine needs BOTH of you now more than ever! If you keep pushing yourself away, you may never see her again!"

I stare at her, aghast. Have I really been neglecting my eldest child?! I don't intentionally make my work first…It just happens that way. "Heather, did Catherine tell you what she's feeling? Is that why you're here?"

"No, Mom! Catherine didn't TELL me anything! She can't even speak!"

What? She can't?

"By the look on your face, you didn't know, did you?" she asks with her hands on her hips. I shake my head and she rolls her eyes. "Honestly, if you really care enough about Cat to try and find a cure for her, maybe you should redirect your care into actually visiting your own flesh and blood. Believe it or not, Mom, Catherine has accepted her fate. If you tell her you've been working on a cure, you're going to raise her hopes up for something that may never happen. Are you prepared to do that?!" I look at her in silence. "You're daughter needs you, Mom…She needs you more than these books and paperwork…"

"If only I—"

"Oh my God, Mom! You're not listening, are you?!" Heather fires back. "Cat doesn't care about a cure. She only cares about the people she loves and how much time she has left to spend with them." She starts crying. "Do you even care what happens to her?!"

"Mind your manners, Heather! Of course I care for your sister!"

"THEN SHOW IT!" she shouts. "STOP ALL OF THIS STUPID RESEARCH AND GO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR OLDEST DAUGHTER!" Heather lowers her tone and places her hand on my arm. "Mom, Catherine is dying…Even if there was a cure…don't you think it would be too late for her? She doesn't need a cure; she just needs her mother as much as she needs the rest of us."

With that, Heather dashes out of my office, leaving me with a lot to think about. I look at all of my research notes and realize just how right my youngest daughter is! While I was spending most of my time in this office, I could have gone over to see my eldest daughter; she must think I'm a horrible mother for avoiding her.

It's just…hard…!

I swipe all of my research notes onto the floor before crying into my arms. No parent should have to go through what I'm going through! Children aren't supposed to die before their parents! But why is my sweet Catherine?! Why?!

I'm such a failure as a mother.

How can Catherine look at me now?

* * *

How?

**Beauty and the Beast**

_My speech disorder's getting worse, so I asked Mom to buy a magic blackboard. I probably say some words that  
other people can't understand.  
The movement of my tongue's bad, so the food overflows my mouth. My way of eating looks filthy. It's a  
pitiful sight._

_(Aya Kitou-Chapter 7)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **So we were able to get a little bit into Vanessa's head. I think, if I were in her position (not that I am a mother or anything) I would be in for a roller coaster of emotions. That's why, if you notice in previous chapters, Vanessa is really there for Catherine when she's needed her. But as Catherine's disease continues to worsen, she kind of keeps herself at a distance because she's so afraid of coming to the realization that her daughter is dying. And there's literally nothing she can do.

A beastie thought it would be interesting to see if Vanessa and Evan try to work on a cure together but, unfortunately, even today, a cure for this disease is nonexistent. So, that's Vanessa kept reaching a dead end in her research.

Ummmm…. That's all I have right now…

Check out my project video link and don't forget to review! :)


	29. I Promise I Will Move On Ahead

**Author's Note: **Soooo…Thursday (Aug. 15), I will be getting my wrists checked out by a doctor. Hopefully, there's nothing too serious but if Doctor's Orders say I have to limit my time on the keyboard, I guess that's what I'll be doing. :/ That means one of two things: (1) **_Shorter Chapters/ more frequent updating_** or (2) **_longer chapters, less frequent updating_**. I'll keep you guys updated! Thanks!

**Note #2: **I have a "BATB" project and I need all of you loving BEASTIES out there! Please check out my YouTube video (YT address + [/watch?v=D9utbfKgwM4]) for more information!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Eight:**__**I promise I will Move on Ahead**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: November 7th, 2013**

**Vanessa's POV**

I stand outside Catherine's hospital room, waiting for the best time to walk in. As of right now, she's spending time with Vincent and I don't want to interrupt that. She needs all the time she can have with her husband; no one should take that right away from her. I wait for almost twenty more minutes, when, finally, the door opens and Vincent walks out. "You know," he says, "You don't have to wait out here in order to talk to your daughter, Mrs. Chandler."

"I know…I just didn't want to interrupt your time with Catherine."

"For what little time Catherine has left, I don't think we need to slice and dice our times with her, Mrs. Chandler. Catherine is more than happy to spend shared time with all of us; she's missed you, you know?" Vincent says as he opens the door wider. "Go on, go in; I'm going to grab a coffee. You want one?"

"No thank you." I say before walking into Catherine's hospital room. As he closes the door, I approach my eldest daughter, afraid of what she might think of me for avoiding her. "Hey…"

Catherine turns her head towards me and produces a weak smile as she forces herself to wave her hand. Seeing her so weak brings me to tears. I rush over to her and wrap my arms around her frail form. She embraces me as best as she can and when I pull away, I see tears falling from her cheeks too. I can tell she's missed me terribly. "I'm so sorry, Catherine," I say to her as I dry her eyes. "I've been a coward for hiding behind my work desk instead of spending time with you."

She shakes her head and tries to say something but no sound comes out. I notice a notebook sitting on a small table beside her so I pick it up and place it on her little lap desk. She picks up her black marker and writes: _**I don't blame you**_.

How can she be so humble after everything that has happened to her—how people have treated her? Not even I could be so merciful if I were in her place.

After a slow yet long conversation, I realize just how much I've missed by not being with my daughter. She's quite the young woman now, even with her disease. I can tell she sees life through a window no one else can see through. Not even me, her mother. I wonder…if not for this disease…would Catherine see life so differently than from the rest of us?

**Beauty and the Beast**

**November 10****th****—that afternoon**

**Thomas Chandler's POV**

I feel incredibly guilty right now. Not once have I visited my daughter in the hospital since she's been readmitted. I don't think I have the strength to do so. Catherine has no idea how much I love her—how much I want her to be healthy. Just five years ago, she was a very healthy young woman; now she's lying on her deathbed and it's killing me inside. How can I face her when I can't even look at a single picture of her in my wallet or on my phone? Seeing all of those pictures of when she was healthy reminds me that she's not. And I hate the feeling of weakness I get whenever I do see a picture of her.

As I stare outside my office window, the desk phone rings. I pick it up, place it over my ear and say, "Yes, Sharon?"

"_Sir, you have a visitor." _

"Who is it?"

"_A young man named Evan Marks; he claims to be your daughter's doctor?"_

"Let him in." I say to my secretary before placing the phone back on its base. My office door opens and Vincent walks through, looking exhausted. "Hello, Dr. Marks. I hope you're faring well?"

"Very, sir." Dr. Marks replies, formally. He takes a step towards my desk and bluntly states his business. "Sir, with all due respect, I came here on behalf of Catherine's health."

"Is she all right?" I ask, concerned.

"She's…not well. She has reached one of the last few stages in her illness. I'm sure you're aware but in case you are not, she has lost her entire voice and her movements are extremely slow. She cannot walk anymore either. Now, it's up to her will in order to continue living."

"I…I see." I reply, trying not to break down in front of my daughter's doctor. "From this point on, what's the expected amount of time she has left?" I swear, I think my voice choked a little.

"Well, it's hard to say…The rate is different for everyone. I've dealt with cases where the patient lives only two months after reaching one of the final stages. However, I've also had patients who live nearly ten years more. It just depends on how much willpower Catherine has left in order to hold on to life."

"So that's it? That's all you have to say about my daughter?!" I ask, outraged. "There isn't a single DAMN thing you can do to cure her disease!? You barge in here, thinking you know what you're doing when you haven't done a single thing aside from telling my family that my daughter's life is pretty much over!"

"Haven't done a damn thing?! Mind you, Mr. Chandler, I have put my career on the line for your daughter! I asked a colleague of mine to borrow one of his lab rats with the same disease so I can test for a cure! I have spent thousands of dollars into trying to save your daughter, not kill her! So if you think I haven't done anything to help your daughter's condition, you are certainly wrong! Just because I've come up empty handed doesn't mean I haven't given up on Catherine! As her doctor, I will never give up on trying to find a cure for her!" he fires back, twice as enraged.

I rub my temples as I sit down in my desk chair. "I'm sorry, Dr. Marks. I'm just…frustrated…. I didn't mean to lash out at you like that."

"With all due respect, Mr. Chandler, I may not be able to find a cure in time to save your daughter but…there is something YOU can do that'll do Catherine better wanders than what I could ever accomplish." He states and I look at him with confusion.

"What?"

"You should go see her." He says softly. "Despite her condition, her mental functions are superb, Mr. Chandler. She knows you're avoiding her because of her disease and, after talking with Vincent a few weeks ago, I found out she blames herself for your distance. She understands that if it weren't for this disease, you would be more involved in her life."

I stare at him, incredulously. I never realized what kind of effect my distance would put on my daughter… I can't believe I'm so selfish! "That's not it at all…"

"I know…but don't you think it's time you set the record straight?" he asks me.

"I'm sorry…I just…Deep down, in my mind, I feel like if I don't see her, her pain and her disease will disappear. The less I see her, to me, the less her condition exists. I can't stand to see her in so much pain." I admit as I look down at my desk.

"I don't think I'm the person you need to apologize to." Dr. Marks replies before starting to head towards the door. "In all honestly, Mr. Chandler, I think it's better to cherish what you DO have with Catherine rather than to dwell in the past and wish for something that can't ever happen again."

Without another word, he leaves my office with such confidence.

"Would you like me to reschedule your meeting with the DA?" Sharon asks me as she pops her head through the door. "I couldn't help but overhear the shouting…"

"No…that's okay. I…have a lot to do so the meeting must go on as planned." I say but she doesn't leave. "Is there anything else?"

"No sir. Let me know if you change your mind." She states before closing the door and returning to her desk.

Somehow, I feel like everyone is out to get me today…

I stand up, rub the bridge of my nose and sigh. "On second thought, Sharon?"

"Yes?" she immediately appears at the door again.

"Cancel all appointments today and tell all clients as well as the DA that I'll personally contact them to reschedule." I say as I pack my briefcase.

"Right away, sir!" Sharon replies and returns to her desk. As I exit my office and lock it, Sharon asks, "What would you like me to tell them if they want to know why you're rescheduling?"

"Tell them…that I have a family matter to attend to." I state before heading out the door. I may not be able to take back the past and revisit the times I've avoided my daughter but I CAN start making amends by spending as much time as I can with her.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

As I wake up from a much needed nap, I hear a pair of feet shuffling inside my hospital bedroom. When I turn to look and see who the feet belong to, a small smile forms plays on my lips.

"Hey darling." I hear my father say as he rushes over to me and hugs me. "I'm sorry for being such an ass lately. Will you forgive me?"

I pull away from him and slowly nod. I see tears in his eyes—something I haven't seen in my father for a long time. He kisses my forehead and takes a seat next to my hospital bed. It doesn't matter what I've felt for the past few months anymore…My family is slowly coming back together and that makes me super happy.

I spent the next hour or so listening to my father's apology and reasons for being distant. In the end, I write on my little notepad:_** I've missed you, Daddy.**_

"I've missed you too, sweetheart." Dad whispers as he kisses my forehead again. Sometime during our heartfelt reunion, Mom, Heather and Vincent enter the room. Vincent slides into the bed, next to me, as Mom sits in the other chair and Heather stands in the corner. My family is finally in the same room again. As we have this reunion, I see the bright blue sky through my hospital window. I can finally see the hope I haven't seen in a very long while.

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

_Striving to Live for the Present_

_In another ten years . . . I'm to scared to think about that._

_I have no choice but to live today as earnestly as I can._  
_Living is all I can do now._  
_I'm young but I can't move . . ._  
_Dilemma and impatience._  
_But I'm a patient, so I have to focus on recuperation._

_You, one person,_  
_Advise me not to write too much._  
_Appreciating that,_  
_I put my hands together in thanks._  
_Thinking on my sickbed . . ._  
_(At this point Aya's handwriting becomes illegible.)_

_I understand that menstruation - the indication that you're a real woman - stopped if you grew weak from_  
_illness. I also thought that it was a sign of recovery if it started again after six months._

_Glancing up from my sickroom,_  
_I saw the blue sky;_  
_It gave me a ray of hope._

_(Aya Kitou—Chapter 7)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **I hope this didn't seem rushed to you. I was struggling of how I could convey Thomas's feelings about the whole ordeal. Let me know what you think! Please! :)


	30. In the Dark Sky, I Hope Rainclouds Burst

**Author's Note: **Doctor's diagnosis: Right Hand—Carpal Tunnel; Left hand—Tendonitis

Yup. So Typing a lot is out of the question. I will update when I can but I have a feeling these updates are going to be slower ones. Sorry; doctor's orders.

**Author's Second Note: **I made a few changes to Chapter 27 regarding the conversation between V & C. Please check that out!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty-Nine:**__**In the Dark Sky, I Hope Rainclouds Burst**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Date: December 1****st****, 2013**

**Dr. Mark's POV**

No matter how many times I try to work on a cure for Catherine, I come up empty-handed. It's frustrating to see her so hopeful when I can't give her what she wants. However, even though I am failing her, she still has faith in me.

So that's why I must not give up on her.

This might sound strange, but Catherine Keller is the reason I come to work every day. She has so much determination despite her condition. The only thing she asks for in return is for the people who love her to continue to smile.

Why can't all patients be more like her?

I sit at my desk and heave a great sigh as I remember Catherine's little conversation with me a few months ago.

* * *

**Flashback (3****rd**** Person POV)**

_As Evan walked into Catherine's hospital room, he noticed that she was trying to figure out how to write in her diary. The marker kept slipping out of her hand no matter how hard she tried to write. Suddenly, her marker rolled off of her desk and fell onto the floor. Before she could have a chance to even attempt to pick it up, Evan rushed over to the side of her bed and picked it up for her. "Here you go." _

_She smiled and nodded a thank you. "Where's Vincent?" he asked her._

_Slowly, she said, "A-a-at…th-the…st-stohhhr __**[At the store]**__."_

"_I see." Evan replied as she started trying to write again. The marker fell out of her fingers once more so he added, "Try writing with two hands." Evan placed it back into her hands and she started writing with both hands as he held her diary for her. After a few minutes of writing, she stopped and looked up at her doctor. _

"_What is it, Catherine?" Evan asked, curious. _

"_Ahhhr…yuuu…rihhh-lohhh-kehhh-tihhhng…tooo…a-nuhhh- thehhhr…hahhh-spihh-tahhhl __**[Are you relocating to another hospital]**__?"_

"_No, I'm not." Evan replied. "Why?"_

"_Yuuu…ahhhr…stehhh-ihhhng…heeeer…then __**[You are staying here then]**__?"_

"_Of course I'm staying." _

"_Thehhhhnk…gooohd-nehhhssss." Catherine smiled. "I…thahhhht…you…wuhhh…gohhh-ihhhng…tooooo…leeeeev… meeee…bihhh-hyyynd…bihhh-cahhhs…I…shohhh…nohhh…ihh hm-pruuuuv-mehhnt __**[I thought you were going to leave me behind because I show no improvement]**__."_

_Evan opened his mouth to say something but no words could answer to her confession. For a few moments, he didn't say anything. Finally, he replied, "I'm not leaving, Catherine. You are my patient and so I'll never leave your side; I promise, I will not give up on finding a cure. Therefore, you mustn't give up either, Catherine Keller."_

_She stared at him for quite some time before finally finding an answer, "Buhhht…" She paused, "Buhhht…whuhhht…ihhhf…" Again, she needed to pause to find the best way to phrase her thoughts. "Whuhht…ihhhf…yuuu…neeeeed…myyyy…bahhh-deee…fohhhr …reeee-suhhhrch…toooo…fyyynd…a…kyurrr…fohhr…thihhh s…dihh-seeeees __**[But what if you need my body for research to find a cure for this disease]**__?"_

_Evan looked at her incredulously; he literally had no words to say to her suggestion. _

_Realizing that her doctor was rendered speechless, she took the opportunity to support her suggestion. "I…wahhhnt…tooo…hehhhlp…uhhh-thers…wihhhth…t-the…s ayyym…dihhh-seeees __**[I want to help others with the same disease]**__."_

_It took a few seconds for Evan to finally come up with an answer. Tears welled up in his eyes as he confirmed her wish, "So are saying you want to donate your body?" _

_Catherine nodded in response. "I…wahhhnt…tooo…hehhhlp…yuuuu…dahhhk-tohhr __**[I want to help you, doctor]**__."_

_Evan sighed. "Catherine…right now…for your condition, you are healthy…. Therefore, you shouldn't be thinking about these kinds of things."_

"_I…uhhn-dehhr-stehhhnd…. Pleees…fohhhr-gehht…I…sehhhd…a-neee-thihhhng __**[I understand. Please forget I said anything]**__." _

_Catherine looked at him with sorrow-filled eyes; eyes that told him everything he needed to know. Despite her suggestion, Catherine's eyes convey that she wants to live—not die. She's simply thinking of others before herself—typical Catherine Keller. _

_Evan left Catherine's room and headed for his office so his patient wouldn't have to see him cry for her._

_**A month or so later…**_

_Vincent knocked on Evan's door, requesting to see him. Evan opened the door for Vincent and Catherine's husband took a seat in the extra chair. _

"_Is everything all right, Vincent?" Evan asked and Vincent nodded. _

"_Yes…but I have a request…" _

"_What?" _

"_I was with Catherine earlier today and she was saying that she wanted to go home for the Christmas holiday. If it's not possible to take her home for Christmas, may I take her home sometime within the next month to at least celebrate the holiday early?"_

_Evan sat and thought about his question for a few seconds before nodding. "If she wants to go home, I suggest you take her home around the week of December 1__st__. But…Only for one day, okay? You know as well as I do that her immune system is accustomed to the hospital's environment. If she's taken away from this environment for too long, she may end up very sick." _

"_I understand." Vincent replied. "Thank you." _

_Evan nodded and remembered his conversation with Catherine a month or so ago. "On second thought, I think Catherine going home indefinitely is a…good idea due to the circumstances. …."Vincent gave him a strange look so Evan started explaining himself. "About a month or so ago, Catherine had asked me to use her body for my research…Of course I turned down her offer but in the end, she asked me to keep that conversation quiet. She said she wanted to help other patients with the same disease but the main reason I turned her down was because I could tell she wasn't ready to face death yet. Her eyes were telling a different story than her words. However, regretfully, thoughts like these don't just appear out of thin air, Vincent. I fear she believes she's going to die soon. Therefore, I think it's best she go home to see the people she loves one last time in case her end is drawing near. I hate to say this, Vincent, but…once she comes back to the hospital, she may never leave." _

_Vincent started tearing up as he heard his wife's doctor's confession because, he, too, has realized Catherine's not longed for this world. "I understand…"_

"_If going home is what Catherine wants…then we should do our best and fulfill her wishes. Going home may help her feel more alive…. So, I will be waiting here until she's ready to return. If anything goes wrong, contact me immediately. I'll keep her room vacant for her return. As much as I care for her as her doctor, I also think of her as a friend, Vincent. As a doctor, I want what's best for her health; as her friend, I want what's best for __**her**__. I think, staying at home will keep her spirits up so that's why I'm permitting you to take her home indefinitely."_

"_Thank you, Dr. Marks." Vincent replied. _

"_Please, Vincent, from now on, call me Evan." Evan extended his hand before Vincent shook it. _

"_All right, Evan, thank you for your generosity." Vincent smiled before leaving Catherine's doctor's office. _

**End of Flashback**

* * *

Today, Catherine and her family leave the hospital to celebrate the Christmas season. I'm happy she has a loving and supporting family because if she didn't, I'm not sure if she would have such a strong will to survive. She's definitely someone I will be telling stories about. That's for sure.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

Today, my doctor allowed me to return home for a while so I can clear my head before returning to the hospital. I'm really glad to be home; it doesn't feel like death here. Right now, my family and I are seated at the table, enjoying a wonderful dinner together. Heather even brought Gimpy! Throughout the whole meal, Gimpy did not leave my side; he's such a wonderful dog.

When the dinner was over, I couldn't help but feel happy! I am surrounded by the people I love and that's all I could ever ask for.

But…happiness never lasts…

Here I am, sitting upright on my bed as I write my heart into my diary:

_**12/01/2013**_

_**Happy family was here. **_

_**Now, I am sad b/c I think about the times I'll be gone. They'll all be sad—and I don't like making other people cry. **_

_**~C**_

I put my diary away and look at the family photo hanging on the wall of my bedroom. I picture what the photo would be like if I weren't in it.

Thinking about the only future that lies ahead of me is horrifying. Leaving the people I love the most is absolutely gut-wrenching to think about.

"Hey, sweetie," I hear my husband say as he enters our bedroom. "What's wrong?"

I don't answer him—I can't. Even though he doesn't know what's bothering me word for word, he still seems to understand when I need him. He kicks off his shoes and slips off his shirt before sliding down his jeans. Quickly but also gently, he hops into our bed and wraps his arms around me. I place my head on his shoulder as I start to silently spill tears on his bare chest.

"It's all right, love. I'm here." Vincent whispers as he kisses my forehead. "I promise, I'll always be here for you."

That's just it—he may always be there for me…but…how will I?

How will I be there for him when he needs to move on from my death? How will he go through with it without me there beside him?

I know I'm going to die soon…I just don't know if I'm ready for fate to claim my life just yet.

I want to tell Vincent just how scared I am! I need to!

I continue to cry in his arms for what seems like hours when I finally sit up and reach for my diary. He helps me open it up so I can write one phrase that will tell him everything on my heart.

Vincent hovers over me as he reads each written word out loud as I write them: _**I DON'T WANT TO DIE!**_

He looks at me with sorrow-filled eyes and closes my diary, pushing it off the bed before tossing my marker on the floor too. I feel his hands cupping my face as I close my eyes to try and hide my tears. I can hear him crying too as he places his forehead against mine.

No words can describe our feelings right now. All we can do is sit and cry in silence as we hold onto each other as tightly as we can.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_Each person has unspeakable distress.  
When I remember the past,  
Annoyingly, I cry;  
The reality of today  
Is too cruel, too severe,  
And doesn't even offer me a dream;  
Imagining the future  
Brings me yet another kind of tears._

_(Aya Kitou-Ch. 7: A-Ri-Ga-Tou_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **Sniff…Sniff…wow, what a tear-jerker! I even cried while writing this chapter! Update will be w/i week since I have braces on my hands which slow down my typing. ಠ_ಥ


	31. Then the Wet Roads will Start to Shine

**Author's Note: **RIP Lee Thompson Young!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty:**__**Then the Wet Roads will Start to Shine**_

**DATE: December 15****th****, 2013 **

**Vincent's POV**

"Thanks, JT, I owe you one." I say to my best friend as he delivers the book I asked for. "How much was it?"

"$12.64, including tax." JT replies as he extends his hand to accept payment. I couldn't help but smirk at his sudden actions.

"Same ole JT." I roll my eyes as I dig some cash out of my pocket. "Keep the change."

"Thanks!" JT says as he shoves the money into his shirt pocket. "By the way, how is she?"

"She's…hanging in there." I reply. "She's entered the last stage of her disease, man. I keep telling myself to be prepared in case _anything_ happens but, I don't know…I don't think I could live my life without her, you know?"

"You can, and you will," JT states with confidence. "Sure, it'll take some time but you'll want to live, Vincent—for her."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because, V, your wife is a fighter; so once she's gone, you need to fight for her by becoming the BEST DAMN DOCTOR you can be." JT says as he places his hand on my shoulder. "Besides, she's still alive, man. Focus on that, all right?"

"Thanks, JT. Again, I owe you one." I smile.

"Actually, you owe me like fifty favors but who's counting?"

"Get outta here." I playfully push my best friend out the front door before he takes his leave. "Remember our groceries on Saturday! You don't want me to turn to cannibalism as my main food supply—you would be the first to go…"

"Don't worry, V. The last thing you need on your plate is another Donner Dinner Party incident. No pun intended."

"Donner Dinner Party?" I laugh out loud. "Can't you see the irony in those words, JT?"

"Yep!" He chuckles before changing his tone of voice into a snooty, Englishman accent, "Excuse me, sir, the Donner Dinner Reservations need to be changed to 5 instead of 6." He pauses and then adds, "Whoops, looks like you're going to have to change it to 4….Wait! Nope! Now to 3…Did I say 3? I meant tw—Never-mind, looks like I'm going solo tonight."

I couldn't help but laugh at my best friend's impersonations. "Really, JT, you need to be a comedian."

"Nah…I like my geek profession better. Anyways, don't worry about turning to cannibalism. Your food will be delivered; just take care of your wife, okay?"

"Will do!" I exclaim towards him as he drives away. Afterwards, I make my way to my bedroom and see Catherine trying to reach for the TV's remote. I grab it for her and place it into her hands. "Here you go, my love."

She weakly smiles a thank you to me before turning off the TV. She lightly taps my wrist, signifying that she wants to talk to me.

For a few weeks now, she hasn't been able to write anymore. Her handwriting is illegible so she has to communicate a different way. I know she cannot physically write anymore but her heart is always writing down her thoughts. That's all that matters now.

I reach behind me and pick up her plastic letter chart before I place it in front of her.

She slowly points to each letter of each word and spells out to me her unspoken words:

**I | W-A-N-T | T-O | G-O | T-O | I-N-W-O-O-D | H-I-L-L | P-A-R-K | .**

When she finishes the last letter to the word 'park', she looks at me with hopeful eyes. I sigh. "Baby, I don't know if leaving the house is a good idea…"

**O-N-E | L-A-S-T | T-I-M-E_ ? **She pleas.

I inhale a deep breath and let it out slowly. I want to give her as much as possible but…at the cost of her life? What if she has a random choking attack?! I wouldn't be able to get her to the hospital fast enough!

She starts tapping on the chart again: **V-I-N-C-E-N-T | P-L-E-A-S-E | ?**

"Fine…but I'm going to be bundling you up like poor Randy on _The Christmas Story_ before we even consider leaving the house. Okay?" I state and she slowly nods her head. I leave for a few minutes, gathering her cream-colored gloves, her purple scarf, purple earmuffs and her cream-colored heavy coat.

After spending the next quarter of an hour getting her ready for the frosty weather, I zip my coat up before carrying my wife to her wheelchair. Then, I disappear for a few seconds and grab her letter chart before putting it into the back pocket of her chair. "Ready?"

She nods so we leave the house against my better judgment. I meant what I said several years ago—I would do ANYTHING for her; all she has to do is ask. It's that simple. She knows it too.

**Beauty and the Beast**

We stroll along the streets of our town and finally, we arrive at the park. I find a bench and pick up Catherine into my arms before sitting down. "Christmas is around the corner."

She nods to my statement so I continue, "Is there anything you want for Christmas?" I pull out her letter chart so she can start talking with me.

**I | J-U-S-T | W-A-N-T | T-O | B-E | W-I-T-H | F-A-M-I-L-Y | .**

"Okay." I nod my head before pressing my lips against hers. "If that's all you want, I'll make sure it happens."

She weakly smiles and, with all of her might, she pulls me closer to her for warmth. I can hear her teeth chattering so, against her wishes to stay longer; I decide it's best to take her home. The last thing she needs is to battle the flu.

"I need to get you home and under tons of covers, my love." I whisper to her and I can tell she's already sleeping. I give her a soft kiss on the forehead before placing her back into her wheelchair and wheeling her home.

I wonder…how many more nights will we have together? 1? 7? 30? 365? Who knows; I'm just going to have to cherish every single moment I have left with her. That's as much as I can offer.

"I love you…" I whisper, knowing, in her heart, she feels the same.

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

_Due to a variety of minor things, such as developing a fever and faulty swallowing. Aya's condition has gradually  
deteriorated. It's just as if she's going down stairs one at a time.  
Starting around that time, her writing became very distorted and almost illegible. However, her spirit of wanting  
to write in order to live didn't decline at all; she continued writing in her sketchbook holding a felt-tip pen  
with all the strength she could muster in a hand wich wouldn't move as she wished.  
Today, she can't even do that. However, I am sure that she is still writing in her heart, while desperately  
fighting against the demon of ill-health._

_(Shioka Kito—Aya's Mother: Ch. 8)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **I know it was a little bit short me needs to rest me hands before the fall off. I am such a BAD patient.


	32. As Darkness Keeps On Whispering to Me

**Author's Note: **FAN ART CONTEST STARTS MONDAY! :)

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty-One:**__**As Darkness Keeps on Whispering to Me**_

**DATE: Christmas 2013**

**Catherine's POV**

"Catherine, are you ready? Everyone is in the family room, waiting for you." Vincent says as he enters our bedroom.

I nod in response so he picks me up and carries me to the family room. With me still within his arms, he takes a seat in the recliner chair before I start leaning against him.

"All right, now that we're all here, let's get started." Dad claps his hands together before grabbing the first gift under the tree.

I requested for Vincent to have my gifts given to everyone at the end of the gift exchange because I have certain words I would like to say to each and every one. As expected, I received the only gift I could ever want: to be surrounded by family so I can share my Christmas holiday with the people I love most in the world.

"Okay…Now, all of you can open Catherine's gifts for you before I read these letters she asked me to write." Vincent says as he pulls out the group of folded papers from his pocket. I watch everyone open their gifts—even Vincent. He looks at his gift and then looks at me with a sad smile before whispering a soft 'thank you.'

After he gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek, he starts reading the first letter addressed to Daddy.

_To Daddy, _

_Thank you. You may not realize it but you've supported me throughout my life in more ways than one. I cannot even express my gratitude into words…No pun intended. _

Dad laughs a little as a tear rolls down his cheek.

_When Mom went away for her business trips, you always took time off of work to be with Heather and me and for that, thank you. I noticed your wristwatch was broken even though you pretend it works all of the time. So you don't have to keep guessing on the time, I wanted to give you a new watch. Thank you, Daddy and I love you._

_Catherine. _

When Vincent finishes reading the first letter, Dad stands up from his chair and walks over to me before he gives me a gentle, fatherly hug. "Thank you sweetie. I'll treasure it forever." He sits back down into his chair and Vincent starts reading Mom's letter.

_Mom, _

_You have worked so hard in trying to find a cure for my disease and, for that, thank you. In your own special way, you did your best to help me out and I'm grateful for it. Also, thank you for the advice you've always given me whenever I needed it. Because I noticed your lab coat had a small tear in the seams, I wanted to give you a new one—so that, wherever I am in the next five years, I'll still be with you in spirit as you work hard on finding that cure for other people with my disease. Thank you, Mom. _

_Catherine_

Mom places her lab coat down and covers her mouth with her palm to try and stop herself from crying. I smile to her before she rushes over to me and hugs me like there's no tomorrow. "I'll always wear this coat for you, Catherine."

She kisses my cheek and pulls me in for another hug before she sits down and Vincent starts reading Heather's letter.

_Dear Heather, _

_I know it's been tough for you…for everyone in our family but, mostly, for you. While your high school life should have been about glamour, dances and boys, it was about me and my health. For that, I'm sorry. I never intended to take away your high school years from you. I wish there was some way to give it back to you. However, thank you for always being there for me when I needed my sister. You taught me how to walk when I gave up hope so many years ago. If not for you, I surely would have wanted to die early on. Thank you for staying strong even when people would stare at you; you have no idea just how brave and strong you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise—you are a Chandler, after all. _

_To make up for your high school years, I know there's a Winter Formal at Hudson University coming up in January. Forgive me for not remembering how many years you've attended the college but despite my condition, I want you to go and have a great time. For that reason, I made Vincent buy you this elegant, icy-blue ball gown so you can show up to that dance and hopefully find your Prince Charming just as I had during my first college homecoming dance._

_Please keep smiling no matter what happens, _

_I love you Heather,_

_Catherine_

Heather is speechless. She obviously had no idea how observant I've been. I remember she told Mom that she wasn't going to the dance but I could easily see her disappointment when she said that…. That's why I gave her the dress—so she wouldn't have an option BUT to go. "Thank you, Cat." Heather smiles sadly as she also gives me a hug. "You're the best sister in the whole universe!"

I smile at her before she whispers, "Do you want me to read that letter, now?"

I nod in reply so she sits back down and pulls out a folded piece of paper from her purse. "Vincent, Cat actually wrote this letter herself. She wrote it months ago and gave it to me for safe keeping. I'm sure it's super personal so I advise you read it later when you're not in the company of others." She places the letter into my husband's hands and says, "All right, enough with this tearful marathon! Who's ready for some breakfast!? I'm staaaarving!"

Mom and Dad laugh as they both stand up and head for the kitchen. "Breakfast will be out shortly. In the meantime, Heather, let Gimpy outside; he looks like he needs to go out." Dad states.

"Fine. Whatever." Heather replies, back to her usual, work-hating self.

Vincent kisses the back of my head and whispers, "Do you want me to read the letter in your presence?"

I shake my head as vigorously as I possible while he laughs.

"All right. I understand." He chuckles before Mom and Dad tells us breakfast is ready. I have to say, even though I'm sick, this is the BEST Christmas celebration ever.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Vincent's POV**

So Christmas was actually a nice celebration today. After breakfast, we all sat around and watched a bunch of home movies Catherine's parents brought over. In a way, I think it was their way of reminding Catherine whom she was before her disease. Once before, she's mentioned how she can barely remember her life from before and I could tell she thoroughly enjoyed watching past memories on video.

Afterwards, we ate a lovely early dinner before the Chandler family (and Gimpy) said their goodbyes for the night. Now, Catherine is in our bedroom sleeping, or at least trying to sleep, and I'm sitting on the recliner in the family room, about to read her letter. Knowing I would have to read it eventually, I start sliding my eyes across the first line…

_Dear my beloved Vincent, _

_The vows I asked Heather to say to you on our wedding day still stand true. I love you so much and want what's best for you. Being married to you has made me so happy even if I don't seem joyful right now. When I gave myself to you the night of our college dance, I knew I made the right choice. I want you to know…in case you didn't figure it out…you were my first, Vincent and you will be my last. _

_We both know what eventually lies ahead…_

…_and I'm scared… _

…_I'm scared for myself because I don't want to die without fully living life. It's unfair! I don't want our haven to end just yet. Is it selfish to want to be with you for a full lifespan? Is it? _

…_I'm also scared for you, Vincent. I'm scared, that when I'm gone, you might relapse like you were after your brothers were killed. I don't want that for you; you deserve a beautiful life, my love. I hope, one day, you'll be able to cure many lives with your career. As hard as it is for me to say this, Vincent, I hope, one day, you'll meet another woman and that she will be able to give you so much more than I ever could…a family to call your own. _

_I hope…even after my death…you won't stay a stranger to my family. They adore you and will always consider you as part of the family, Vincent. Please know that. _

_I also want you to know that if I could, I would follow you to the ends of the earth. You have no idea how much I want to live…and be your wife. _

_Even though our marriage will be just a short span of your life, I hope you still will be able to remember it as you move on to a new life—one that isn't burden with pain and sadness. You said, once, that God has a plan for everything—that there's always a bigger picture. _

_Before we met, we both were hurting. You lost your brothers in a horrible terrorist attack and I felt responsible for my best friend's death. We both came from dark pasts but…when we met, it seemed like we found salvation in each other. _

_I honestly believe God brought us together so we can heal each other…. _

_I hate to say this but I don't know who I would be if not for this disease. It has brought my family closer together; I believe I have said more words as a mute than I have with my voice. I have touched so many lives with my published diaries…but…despite that…it's unfair for you. _

_You finally meet someone who loves you as much as you love her…yet, in a short amount of years, she'll be taken away from you. How is that right? How is that justifiable? _

_So many questions fill my mind—questions we may never know the answers to. _

_I have to believe that something good will still come from my death. _

_I love you so much, my Vincent. You have made me feel more beautiful and happier than any other person in this universe. That's why I decided to give you an album Heather helped me put together that compiles all of our memories together. I want you to have something to remember me by…. _

_I'll never regret the day I became Mrs. Vincent Ryan Keller. _

_Thank you for making my life feel worthwhile and for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. _

_With all of my heart, _

_Catherine Elizabeth Chandler Keller_

When I placed the letter down into my lap, I couldn't help but cry. Slowly, my wife is slipping away and there's not a damn thing I can do!

I leave the letter on the recliner and immediately rush to my bedroom. I pop off my socks and shoes, pull off my jeans, strip out of my long sleeved shirt and unravel the sheets. I slip inside the bed, pull the covers back around my wife and me and then wrap my arms gently around her body. Thank God, Catherine is still alive. I hope she'll live a long life with many years to come.

"Merry Christmas Catherine," I whisper before nuzzling my chin within the nape of her neck. Before I fall asleep, a softly sing a little tune into her ear…a lullaby from a book my mom used to read to me when I was a kid. All I did was change the words for Catherine.

"_I'll love you forever; _

_I'll like you for always; _

_As long as I'm living, _

_My soul mate, you'll be" _

**Beauty and the Beast**

_"Mrs. Kito, please come over here quickly!"  
I received the call from the hospital at my workspace. In a panic I rushed to the hospital as fast as I could;  
I can hardly remember how I did it.  
I pushed my way through the doctor and the crowd of nurses who were gathered around Aya's bed . . .  
"What's the matter?" I cried out.  
Aya was breathing as if she had hiccups, but she smiled when she saw me.  
I hugged her at once, thinking, "Thank God, she's alive!"  
The doctor told me that a patient in the same room had noticed that Aya was in agony because she couldn't get rid  
of some phlegm stuck in her throat. The patient told a nurse. They administered emergergency treatment and her life  
was saved._

_(Entry was written by Shioka ~ Aya's Mother)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

TO SEE WHAT EACH GIFT LOOKS LIKE, PLEASE GO TO MY PROFILE AND FIND THE LATEST ENTRY! :)

*** **_**Lullaby ***_

This lullaby is derived from my favorite childhood book called, "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch.

The original version goes like this:

_I'll love you forever,_

_I'll like you for always,_

_As long as I'm living,_

_My baby you'll be._

**Keiko Fujiwara: **Sniff…sniff…hate to say this but one more chapter left and then an epilogue. ;~;


	33. I Will Keep Heading Towards the Light

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the wait, guys! Life has been hectic and I wanted to establish the storyline a little bit for my NEWEST fanfiction, Shadow Bound! :) Just some friendly reminders: I have recently started school again so my typing schedule will be scattered about depending on the amount of homework I have. So, expect the epilogue within the month. I can't promise when it will be up but I plan on finishing this sob story up before continuing Shadow Bound.

Also, I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do for my unfinished BATB Stories but I HAVE NOT given up on them! When I get the inspiration, I will certainly let you guys know!

WARNING: HAVE TISSUES! LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF TISSUES!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty-Two: **__**I Will Keep Heading Towards the Light**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: March 01, 2017**

**Vincent's POV**

I count my blessings every day when I'm with my wife—she's still hanging on by a thread and Dr. Marks believes she will leave this world any day. Then again, he's said that for the past three years and Catherine still had the will to hang on.

We didn't go back to the hospital after Christmas back in 2013 unless she absolutely needed to be there. She wanted to stay home so that's where we thought it was best for her to be—somewhere comfortable and to her liking.

Most of the time, we stay home since it's hard to bring her anywhere without her catching some kind of sickness. Since I'm still not working, Catherine's parents help any time they can. I guess it's their way of providing as much for their eldest daughter as they can—which I will be eternally grateful for their help. I'm not sure what would have happened to Catherine and me if _someone_ didn't pay for our expenses.

Right now, I am writing in Catherine's diary. Since she can't share her story anymore, I'm doing as much as I can to share it for her. I know I will never know what she's thinking inside of her head but I watch her day in and day out so I write down my personal observations—and my personal thoughts about everything. I think it's good for people to learn how Catherine's disease is affecting others' lives. It's a new perspective and her publisher loves the idea of a new voice.

Just as I am about to write another phrase or two, I hear a beeping noise signaling me that Catherine needs me. Since she has minimal movement now, we've come up with a way for her to 'ring a bell' so to speak if she ever needs me. I rush into the bedroom and see her pointing to a photo album.

"Do you want the album?" I ask, making sure she wasn't pointing to something else.

She presses the button again, symbolizing yes. I first help her sit up in the bed before I walk over to the little bookcase and fetch the photo album. Since she can't flip the pages on her own, I slide into the bed beside her and open it up to the first page. "Is there a certain page you want to look at?"

Once again, she presses the button for yes.

I start turning the pages and when I'm about a third of the way through, she hits her button several times so I stop flipping the pages. "This page?"

_Beep!_

"Looks like you wanted to look at the page with that little vacation spot I told you about many years ago; it's the one my brothers and I used to go to." I smile. "It's in West Virginia, up in the mountains."

She smiles weakly and leans her head against my arm as she hesitantly tries to point to it. Her finger lands on the mountain filled with flowers before she looks up to me. "Yes," I say, "There are lots of flowers during this time of year; we have a cabin not too far from that mountain your finger is on top of.

Suddenly her finger moves and points to the small word, 'travel' written on the page. Thinking I understand her message, I ask, "You want to go there?"

_Beep!_

I lace my fingers with hers and I reply, "I'll talk to Dr. Marks tonight, okay? I don't think it should be a problem but he has the final say."

She nods her head slowly before I kiss her cheek. "Maybe…if I tell him that I promised you—which I think I did about 9.5 years ago—he might let me take you there. It's only West Virginia after all." I say that like WV is only five minutes away. I know it's not in the backyard but I don't want to discourage her from thinking we won't be able to go. I place the album to the side and pull my wife into my arms. "I love you, Catherine; you know that right?"

She manages to press her lips gently against my chin even though she was aiming for my mouth. Slowly, I mold my mouth with hers, careful not to press too hard or cause her to choke. Our physical touches may be limited to simple things but no matter how simple these touches are, we still manage to make each caress or kiss very special. "I love you so much." I whisper to her as I barely pull away from her lips. She slightly leans forward and touches her lips to my bottom one for a quick peck before she starts reclining backwards until I pull her into an embrace again. "I'm sorry life can't be perfect for us, Catherine. If there was anything I could do to cure your disease, you know I would, right?"

She nods slowly and tries to mouth something but no sound is coming out.

"What is it, darling?" I ask as I squeeze her hands within mine.

Again, she tries to communicate with me yet, no matter how hard she tries, she can't produce any sound. I would read her lips if I could but her tongue has minimal movement so sometimes, her mouth movements, are hard to distinguish. I reach over my right side and grab her chart…the only way I can think about communicating to her is if I press each and every letter until she presses her button.

I start pressing the letter **A** and move through **I** before she pressed the button. After thirty minutes of running my finger through the letters over and over and over again until her entire message is hang-manned out onto a notebook:

**I WOULD NO****T **CHANGE ANYTHING…

**NOMATTER HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN…**

**I WILL KEEP HEADING TOWARDS THE LIGHT.**

I cup her face with my hands and lean my forehead against hers. "No life would be worth living without you, Catherine. I…I don't think I'd be able to move on when…" I can't even finish my words. To my surprise, she (by some miracle, I'm sure) manages to will herself to embrace me—to comfort me. I may sound like a girl right now, crying in her arms, but hell, my wife is slipping away and there's not a damn thing I can do about it! What good is it being a doctor if I can't save the one person I care more about than my own self?! What's so great about living when you're dying inside?!

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

The last few days have been exhausting. I basically feel like I'm holding onto my life by a mere thread—and I know I'm slipping away. There's only a matter of time before…before I die. I can feel it…but…even without a voice…I still don't have the heart to tell the people I love that my end is drawing near. Even pressing that button seems like the hardest task on the planet.

I choked earlier…and nearly died from it again. That's why I'm here at the hospital instead of at home—Vincent managed to clear out my throat with the aspirator-thingy but he wasn't going to take any chances so he brought me straight here.

"Open your mouth as wide as you can." Dr. Marks states as he walks over to my un-missed medical bed with a little flashlight in his hand. Slowly, I force my lips apart and open my mouth as wide as a quarter's width. Using certain tools, he has a nurse pull my lips further apart so he can shine the light down my throat. "You did well, Vincent." Dr. Marks states as he puts his flash light back into his scrub pocket. "Not a trace of food content in the trachea; you made the smart decision to bring her here…."

"Why do you make it sound something grim?" Vincent asks with worry.

"I'm going to be frank with both of you," Dr. Marks states, which I know can't be a good thing, "Catherine's body is deteriorating—both of you know that; unfortunately, her organs are starting to deteriorate as well."

"What does that mean?" Vincent asks.

"You should know that already." Dr. Marks replies but answers his question anyways, "I know I've said Catherine is at the last stage of her disease five years ago but…I…I technically lied. You see, before you start making assumptions, mostly all patients do not live past the stage your wife was in. However, the next stage—the stage Catherine is entering—is crucial; her body is dying and her organs are starting to die out as well. This could lead up to a hundred different complications like liver failure or even cancers. She has low blood pressure…incredibly low blood pressure…and, sooner or later, she'll start the roughest road of the disease. She may flat-line several times because her heart is weak and starting to die out; she may suffocate because her lungs may stop working; she might have a stroke because her brain will soon start to deteriorate as well. It's a cruel fate, I know and I'm terribly sorry but it's better to prepare for the inevitable now than to play guess and check."

Vincent is speechless and I'm horrified. Without a word, Dr. Marks leaves us alone to soak in all of this terrible information and frightening information. My husband shakes himself out of his trance and immediately pulls me into his arms, knowing I need his shoulder to soak my silent tears on. "I'm so sorry, Catherine! I'm so sorry!" he cries too. Literally, there are no words to describe how we are feeling right now.

This is it…

I'm going to die.

It's one thing to know death is still a few years away; it's another thing altogether to find out you're about to make the last train-stop of your life.

And it's a horrible feeling.

**Beauty and the Beast**

_Whenever my patients with this disease start getting discouraged, I encourage them by talking about Aya.  
Recently, I've been thinking that in fact I am the one who has been encouraged by her most of all._

_(Hiroku Yamamoto~ Aya's Doctor)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Keiko Fujiwara: **Okay guys! So I've decided I'm able to squeeze ONE MORE CHAPTER before the Epilogue! :) PLEASE REVIEW!


	34. I Will Keep Moving On as I Fight

**Author's Note: **Once again, I'm sorry for such a long delay! Life seems to get in the way sometimes but I'm back for a while (like the weekend). Other than learning of a potential internship opportunity, nothing is really new in my life. OH WAIT! YES THERE IS! I helped convert my friend into a Beastie! She has officially joined the Fellowship of the Beasties!

WARNING: HAVE TISSUES! LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF TISSUES!

A lot will be happening in this chapter so I'm sorry if it seems rushed!

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty-Three: **__**I will Keep Moving on as I Fight**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: March 15, 2017**

**Vincent's POV**

"Do you have everything?" Vanessa asks me as I put the last suitcase into the car.

"Yeah; I think that's it. But…I have a question." I state out of the blue, causing her to look at me with concern. "I was…was wondering if we could take Gimpy with us for the weekend. If…if there's a chance she…you know…, I want her to…" I can't finish what I'm trying to say; it's too unbearable to even think about!

She solemnly smiles and places her hand on my shoulder. "I understand. She needs to be as comfortable as possible for the next several days; take him, she'll like that." Vanessa squeezes my shoulder blade and takes a step backwards. "While Tom and Heather finish helping Catherine get ready, I'll run home and bring Gimpy here; all right?"

"Thanks…Mom." I say appreciatively, catching her by surprise. She smiles warmly as tears start to spill from her eyes and places her hand on my arm, squeezing it gently.

"Vincent, I want you to know…that…even after she's…gone…you'll still be a part of our family. Don't distance yourself from us, okay? It doesn't take words to know Catherine deeply loves you and I'm certain she wouldn't have things any other way."

"Thanks." I say with gratitude. Vanessa gives me a quick hug and then she rushes off to her car so she can pick up Gimpy. I close the back of the car and start walking towards the house but a familiar face stops me dead in my tracks. "JT, long time; no see!" I jog over to him and give him a bro-shake. "How's life in Virginia?"

"Ehhh…not as thrilling as the NYC but peaceful…. It's a good place to escape to when you need to clear your head." JT laughs but stops when he notices the packed car. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah…for a few days; I'm taking Catherine to the cabin in West Virginia so she can have a break from the city life. Also, I promised to take her someday so I thought, hell, why not today?" I shrug.

"Well, shoot. If I knew you two were going to West Virginia, I wouldn't have wasted my money flying to the Big Apple." JT chuckles. "Anyways, I came here to tell you I've finally found a girl who actually thinks my jokes are funny."

"JT Forbes, do you mean to tell me you've finally reconnected with your long lost sister!?" I smirk and he rolls his eyes.

"Hah, hah, very funny Keller. As you already know, I don't have a sister; I'm an only child, _remember_?"

"That you _know_ of…" I couldn't resist.

"Charming, V. Really charming." JT shakes his head in disdain. "_Anyway_, I came all the way from Woodbridge, VA to tell you _in person_ that I'm getting married in six months." JT huffs. "I was wondering…_if it's not so much trouble for you_…if you'd consider being my best man."

"I'd be honored too!" I grin. "It's about time you settle down, you ole forbesy."

"Thanks…. I think." He replies with a laugh. "Anyways, where is Lady Keller?"

"She's inside the house with her father and sister; they're helping her get everything she needs. You want to see her before we leave?"

"Sure! By the way, I don't know if I ever told you this but I'm really sorry for you…the both of you. The whole situation isn't fair, V, and I wish I could change the wedding date to a closer time so the two of you can go together…but, with Emily finishing up grad school, it isn't possible."

"Don't worry about it, man." I squeeze his shoulder. "You didn't have to tell me how sorry you are; I understand. Besides, even if Catherine can't go to the wedding, she'll be there in spirit. I know she will."

"Yeah…you're right." JT smiles. "Anyway, enough of this heart-throbby talk; I want to see your wife now."

"Don't let _me_ get in your way," I laugh softly as I follow him into the house. I'm grateful for his mini-visit; it means a lot to me that he actually took time off of his schedule to come here. JT is such a great friend.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**JT's POV**

The second I walked into V's home, I was no way prepared for what I'm seeing now. I mean, I know Cat has a disease and all but, I guess, in the back of my mind, I was hoping she would be doing better even though I know it's terminal. Now I feel like an ass for such wishful thinking. "H-hey Cat!" I wave timidly with V right behind me. "I hope the Big Guy isn't causing you _too_ much trouble. Just say the word and I'll set him straight with a few punches."

"Not if I get to you first!" Vincent exclaims, locking his arm around my neck and giving me a noogie.

"Cut it out!" I shout as I shove him off of me. "You know I wasn't serious, right?! Jeez, V! What are you?! A super soldier?!" As I rub the tender spot on my head, V just shrugs and Cat flashes a big smile—well, as big as she can smile anyway.

"Sorry, man." Vincent chuckles. "I couldn't resist." He walks behind his wife's wheelchair and wraps his arms around her shoulders as lightly as possible…at least that's what it looks like from over here. "Besides, we managed to put a smile on Catherine's face! That's rewarding enough!" Vincent kisses Cat's temple and then the top of her head before returning his gaze to me.

"For Cat, I'll forgive you…this time." I say and roll my eyes. "But, next time, you won't be so lucky."

"We'll see." Vincent smirks and presses his cheek against hers. Gosh…it's so hard seeing him so…married! I know he's been married for quite a while but still…. He's like a totally different person! Which is good! Really good! "By the way, JT, isn't there something you wanted to tell Catherine?"

"Oh! Duh!" I smack my head. "My main reason for coming here was to tell you and V that in six months, I'm finally tying the knot."

She smiles widely and looks like she's trying to say something but she doesn't need to. I already know what she's trying to say.

"She's means to say "Congratulations", JT." Vincent says as if he can read his wife's mind….

"I know, dude. I can _read_ facial expressions, you know." I roll my eyes. "It wasn't that hard to translate."

"I'm just clarifying." Vincent chuckles.

"All right," Mr. Chandler says as he walks into the family room, "I scanned Catherine's belongings and it looks like she has everything she needs all packed away. You two are free to leave at any time." Vincent stands up and shakes Mr. Chandler's hand, mouthing a thank you. While they engage in conversation, I notice Cat trying to talk to me.

I lean over to her and say, "What is it?"

Slowly…and I mean _reeeeaaally_ slowly, she points to my cell phone. "You want to use my keyboard?" I ask as I pull out my mobile device. She nods so I pull up Polaris Word on my Android and hold it for her. A few minutes later, she stops punching buttons and looks up at me. "Done?"

She nods.

I raise the phone up towards me and nearly gasp when I read the short sentence she slowly typed out: **plz tk care of Vincent 4 me **

I grit my teeth together as my nose starts to burn. "I will, Cat. I promise." She smiles weakly and I give her a small, semi-awkward hug before standing back up again. I know I should have told her that she shouldn't be thinking so morbidly but…at this point in time…why bother? She needs to have everything resolved so I'll just keep my trap shut and my thoughts to myself. Something tells me this trip is going to be cut short. Maybe a few days in NYC is in order…. I need to be here in case….in case V comes back alone. Hell, what am I thinking?! V isn't going to be coming home alone! Cat is a fighter and she'll fight the hell out of this disease for as long as she can. She'll be back with him; she has to be!

"Well, I hate to say this man," Vincent says as he approaches me, "If Catherine and I want to get to the cabin by nightfall, we need to leave now."

"All right. You two take care and call me if you need ANYTHING. I don't care if I have to fly back and forth from NYC to Virginia to West Virginia for the two of you. That's what best friends are for, right?"

"Totally." Vincent smiles before shaking my hand. "I'll see ya around."

"Yeah, see ya around, buddy." I say and pat him on the back. "Enjoy your trip; I'm sure you'll have lots to tell when you return."

"I don't doubt I will." V nods. "Take care."

"Thanks man, you too." I say before taking my leave. To my surprise, as I hop into my car, I couldn't help the tears from falling down my face. Despite my hopes, I have a feeling this is the last time I'm going to see Catherine Keller. And…my best friend's world is going to fall apart. V can't seem to catch a break, can he?

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

As Vincent and Dad help me into the car, I see Heather carrying a bundle of blankets out of the house. "I thought Cat could use these since it's a bit chilly in the mountains; also, it's a bit chilly out right now so maybe she should have one over her while in the car?"

"Good idea." My husband nods and takes a blanket from Heather before tucking me in. He throws the rest of them into the back of the car as Dad says, "Catherine, Mom brought a special surprise."

I look out the window and see my Gimpy whimpering as he pulls my mom towards the car. I slowly stick my hand out and he licks my fingers like a toddler licks a Popsicle. He sniffs me crazily and wags his tail a mile an hour. "Hey boy." Vincent whispers as he pets Gimpy's head. He turns to me and whispers, "He's coming with us, love. Is that all right?"

I smile and nod, excited. I miss my doggy and was afraid I would never see him again. Dad picks Gimpy up and helps him get into the car as Mom hands Vincent a bag of dog toys, dog food and his water bowl. "Thanks."

"No problem." Mom grins. She pops her head into the car and gives me a gentle hug. "You take care, okay?"

I nod before she kisses my forehead goodbye. "I love you, Catherine. I'll see you when you come home." She kisses my forehead once more and steps back so Dad and Heather can have their chances.

Soon enough, we leave New York City and set out for West Virginia in silence…like we have a choice.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Vincent's POV**

By nightfall, we finally arrive in West Virginia and I make a pit stop at the grocery store. Because it is cool enough to leave Gimpy in the car with the windows down, I unfold Catherine's chair and place her in it. While we're inside, we receive many stares but I don't care. I guess small towns like this one do not receive many visitors…especially visitors that look like us.

"May I help you?" a worker asks but I shake my head.

"No thank you. My wife and I have it from here." I reply as nicely as I can. He nods his head and slowly walks away as we do the same. "People these days…" I mutter only for Catherine's ears. About half an hour later, we return to the car with our groceries and head up to the cabin.

"Now…when we get up there, there's not going to be any cell service but there is a landline which I gave your parents the number in case either of us needs to call." I say to Catherine as I pull out of the parking lot. "However, despite the lack of technology, I believe you're really going to like it, love. It's super peaceful and, in the morning, after a good night's sleep, I have somewhere I want to take you. Okay?"

I glance over to her and she's already asleep. At this moment, I couldn't help but smile a little. Despite everything that's happening, she's still able to smile as she sleeps. Willpower like that is hard to come by even in the strongest of men. Maybe this just proves how strong gentle hearts actually can be.

As I drive us up to the cabin, I smirk as I remember the first time she and I met at Hudson University. I knew, from the moment I laid eyes on her, that she was _my_ girl. Who knew…who know that one little accident with a row of twenty bikes would send us spiraling to the life we have now. I surely didn't.

I pull into the rocky path leading up to the cabin and park the car. I decided to let Catherine sleep a little while longer so, the first thing I do, is take Gimpy out of the back seat so he can relieve himself.

He stays around the vehicle, unsure of his surroundings, and watches me as I start pulling our things out of the car. As I set everything down, he finally wonders off a ways to take care of his business before coming back. "Stay here, will ya?" He tilts his head a little bit but I think he understands me because he parks his seat onto the grass and wags his tail. "Good boy." I scratch his ears for a few seconds before I stand back up to haul everything inside.

Once everything is unpacked, I release Gimpy of his guardian duties and open the passenger's car door. "Hey, sweetie. We're here." Catherine opens her eyes, takes in her surroundings and then looks at me. I kiss her forehead as I unbuckle her from her seat and pull her into my arms. "Come on, Gimpy." I call out and whistle at him to follow me inside of the cabin. I place Catherine down onto the swing so I can lock the car as well as open the door. "Gimpy, sit in front of the door so I can carry Catherine inside, okay?"

Gimpy looks at me for a moment so I point at the ground in front of the door and signal him to sit. Gimpy plops his bottom down on the doormat as he watches me take Catherine inside. I whistle for him to follow me so I hear the screen door slam against the door frame as he walks inside. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him wonder off to explore the inside as the cabin. Good. That means I won't have to worry about tripping over him with Catherine in my arms. I walk her over to the bedroom on the lower level in the back of the cabin and place her on the bed. "Are you hungry, love?"

She nods her head so I tuck her in and whisper, "I'll be back with some food. Just rest up until I get back." I kiss her on the cheek and then on her lips before disappearing into the kitchen. The next few days are going to be rough…but that's to be expected so I'll wait on Catherine's head and foot for as long as I can. God…I wish things could be different.

Oh how I wish things could be different.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**EARLY THE NEXT MORNING**

"Hey, sweetie." I whisper softly as I open my eyes and see her wide awake. "Can't sleep?" She shifts slightly into me, as best as she can, and silently starts soaking my T-shirt with her tears. "What's wrong, love?"

She doesn't answer…she just spills her tears onto my shirt. There's only one cause I can think of that could cause her to cry like this. She's terrified—deathly terrified and all I can do to ease her pain is to provide her the comfort she needs.

I enclose my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. "I'm here, love. I promise I'll be with you every single second you have left; I swear." She leans up and presses her lips against the corner of my mouth, yearning for comfort…for love. I mold my lips against hers and kiss her as I give her what she wants—my touch.

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Catherine's POV**

I'm scared to go to sleep.

I'm not ready to die and I'm afraid that if I close my eyes, I'll never open them again. How can I tell my husband this? Even if I wanted to, I can't. I can only confide in him through touch now…and that's it. That's all I have left. I've lost everything else; I can't bare losing anything more.

Just once…we give into temptation, allowing our hearts to drive our souls instead of our minds. If I'm going to die today, I want my last memory to be with my husband in every intimate way possible. Slowly, he pours his love into me and I know…without a doubt in my mind or in my heart…that this man is willing to travel the distance for me. He has done so much already and I'd be selfish to ever ask for more but…I still regret not ever having children with him. If I could just let him have one piece of me alive in his life, I would die happy. At the same time, no matter how much I want to give him children, I could never risk our child having the same fate as me. That would be cruel no matter how much I still want a baby.

I hate myself for not being able to satisfy him; I can't wrap my arms around him nor massage his back. I can't do anything except feel the electricity he sends through my body. He's willing to give me so much when I can barely give him a kiss on the lips. How can he be so…unlike other guys? If I was still with any of my exes, they would leave me the instant they found out about my disease. However, Vincent…he stayed…even when I tried to push him away, he eventually came back to me. There's no doubt in my mind that we didn't meet on purpose. He has been with me almost the entire time I've had this disease and I know I've probably written this before in my diary but I have to believe God brought Vincent into my life because He knew I needed an angel. How else can I explain Vincent's timely appearance? It all goes back to the bike incident…. If I was never late for class and if he wasn't 'skipping,' we probably would have never met. If it weren't for the fact I fell…he wouldn't have helped me with the bikes. In a way, my disease brought me to Vincent and yet, it's going to take me away from him too.

My disease, no doubt, is a double-edged sword.

Yet, I still wouldn't change who I am for the world. Do I wish I could have more time with Vincent on Earth? Yes, absolutely but at what cost? If I never got this disease, all of those people who read my diary entries would never have gained the courage to face their own disease. I helped so much more people as a bedridden patient than I ever did on two feet. For that accomplishment, I am very proud of myself.

I have to be.

I have to be….

**Beauty and the Beast**

**Vincent's POV**

**THAT AFTERNOON**

"We're almost there." I mutter softly as I carry Catherine up the hill. "Trust me, you'll love it." She looks straight ahead as I walk the two of us up this monstrous hill and I swear I can see a smile forming on her lips. "Isn't it pretty?" I ask as I stop in my tracks and place her down in a bed of flowers. She nods slightly as I sit behind her, wrapping my arms around her collarbone as she leans into me. She reaches for a daisy and tries to pick it off of the ground but fails so I pick it up for her instead. "Here, love."

She grins as she smells the flower before she starts reaching for another one. I repeat the same process over and over again until she has practically smelled the entire field of flowers. To my surprise, I hear a very, very soft sound come from Catherine's lips. "What is it, baby?"

She tries working with her voice for several minutes but her volume cannot go any louder than a very soft whisper.

"What are you trying to say, love?"

She opens her lips and I hear something that sounds like, "You remembered," but I can't be 100% sure. Just the fact that sound came out of her throat is amazing! Who knows, maybe the will of the mind is more powerful than we give it credit for.

Suddenly…a conversation Catherine and I had long ago flashes into my mind…

_"This place looks so different during the winter, doesn't it?" I ask Catherine as I push her along the sidewalk of Inwood Hill Park._

_"Yeah…it does. Snow has a beautiful purpose." She says._

_"Hmmm?"_

_"When I was little," Catherine laughs, "my teacher gave my third grade class an assignment. She wanted us to write a story…or an explanation…to what we think the purpose of the snow is."_

_"And what did you say?" I ask her, out of curiousity._

_"Well…I wrote a short story about faeries…winter faeries...it's silly, really."_

_I park her next to a bench before picking her up in my arms so I can hold her while my butt suffers from the frozen seat. She leans her head on my shoulder with her lips barely grazing the base of my neck._

_"Tell me please?" I plead._

_"Basically," she sighs, giving into my begging, "what happened: In my story, Winter Faeries were responsible for preserving plant life before the change of the season. However, goblins started destroying everything they touch; their disease would spread until everything was dead. So…there was only one thing the faeries could do in hopes to bring upon spring the following year."_

_"What?"_

_"They created snow…a material cold enough to kill off the disease but it would come with the price. All living plant life, or what's left of it, would die with the disease as well. That's why, in my story, snow was created—to kill the disease as well as to hide death from the living; it's something beautiful which masks something bad. Then, when it's warm enough, the snow melts and the Spring Faeries restart the cycle of plant life. So…every year, under our very noses, there's a war waging between the faeries and the goblins and that's why we see snow on the ground."_

_"Wow…for a third grader, you were very creative, Catherine." I whisper into her ear. "I never would have thought up a story like that."_

_"Vincent…I….I have a request…" she mutters against my ear._

_"What is it, my love?" I ask my left hand cups her right cheek. I swear I see tears starting to fall from her eyes and my heart is begging to know why she's upset. _

_"Catherine?"_

_She looks away from me so he wouldn't see my tears._

_"Catherine, love, what is wrong?"_

_I could tell she's having a hard time opening up to me. "I don't have a lot of requests, Vincent…but…whenever I die…could you do something for me?" Why is she crying? __**"I…I want to be buried in a sea of flowers…so that…I…my grave…will look beautiful when…when I'm dead. Maybe…maybe if that happens…I, too, will be reborn like the plants."**_

... "You're right, love," I say to Catherine as tears threaten to fall from my eyes, "I did remember." Suddenly, she points to her handbag of diaries so I reach over her and pull the top one out. "You want me to start reading them?"

She nods.

"All right, love. I'll read every single one."

* * *

**_Dear Diary, August 20, 2007_**

**_Weird things have been happening and I'm a little worried. Mom, a doctor, thinks I should go SEE a doctor. That's a little nerve-wracking if you ask me. But because she suggests it, I'm going to go because if it is something serious, I don't want to start my school year out being sick. It's better to know what's going on immediately._**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Catherine_**

* * *

**_Dear Diary, August 21, 2007_**

**_Today was a rather weird day; much like yesterday. Vincent and I kind of connected today, much to my surprise. He definitely exceeded my expectations. Anyways, as much as I would love to write about my conversations with him (Yes, there were multiple conversations), I might not have enough pages for the amount of content I would like to write. So, instead, I would like to make a comment and say: I'm glad I met Vincent—a guy who is easy to talk to and so far, not like the other dirt bags I've dated in my life. _**

**_Anyways, for the weird part, I punched an upper classman today…She was pissing me off and offended my heritage. I couldn't sit idly by and let her speak like that about me! The nerve! It felt good to punch her; she deserved it. _**

**_Then later, I fell on my face. It was a horrifying experience because I felt like my legs weren't my own. _**

**_I went to the doctor today; we did some tests and I hope everything is alright. _**

**_If something is in fact wrong with me, I will do whatever I can to get better. Whatever I can. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Catherine_**

* * *

**_Dear Diary, August 25, 2012_**

**_I burned my hand today…For some weird reason, my fingers forgot where the lamp's knob was. The next thing I know, I feel a hot metal rod pressing against my flesh and giving me a second degree burn on my three tallest fingers on my right hand. _**

**_Weird right?_**

**_I also bumped into Heather and Dad today at the mall. It was an interesting feeling seeing them there; not to mention that Heather and Tess ambushed me about wearing a dress to the dance. Worst part: Dad agreed. _**

**_More and more I have begun to realize that my body belongs to another mind. I don't know whose mind it is but it certainly isn't mine. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Catherine_**

* * *

**_Dear Diary, August 29, 2007, _**

**_Today, for the most part, was pretty fun. After all of my classes were finished, I got to have some downtime and sleep a little. Today is Vincent's birthday and I had a great time—even after tripping on my own two feet and spraining my ankle (big surprise). Vincent and I had an awkward conversation on our way back to campus because he mentioned that he thought humans are greedy. Even so, I'm glad I went to his party and am also glad he's opening up to me more. I feel bad though. Here he is gradually telling me his life's story and I haven't told him much of anything about my past. I guess I should before the dance since the scar will be obvious. _**

**_Who am I kidding? He's not going to ask me to the dance. If he really wanted to, he would have already, right? Then again, he didn't ask me to come to his birthday party until the day before…so maybe I still have some hopes?_**

**_I've decided that no matter what's happening to me, I'm going to continue to smile because, I know, somewhere in the world, the sun is shining bright. Yeah, I think I'll start living on that philosophy._**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Catherine._**

* * *

As I read each and every diary entry out loud, I feel closer to Catherine than I've ever been before. She's letting me into a part of her life no one else has read or seen. And…some of these entries are absolutely breaking my heart. She has so much hope yet she also has her insecurities. I had no idea of half of the things she's been feeling all of these years.

I continue reading them out loud and my heart stops when I read her entry for June 11th, 2010:

* * *

_**Dear Diary, June 11, 2010**_

_**I broke up with Vincent today…. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. God, I love him so much but…considering everything…I've been selfish. I want him to be in my life but I'm holding him back. **_

_**Let's face it…**_

_**I'm a girl with a disease and no one wants me in their life. **_

_**I'm never going to get married and have a family one day; that's just not possible.**_

_**I'm destined to die alone—maybe it's better that way; it'll save a lot of people pain. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Catherine.**_

* * *

If only I knew back then just how broken she was. I know I've witnessed her cry a hundred times over but…to read what's exactly going on in her thoughts? I hate knowing that this is how she felt.

I read several more until I get to her second to last entry and at first….I gasped after reading it out loud.

_**Dear Diary, January 13, 2017**_

_**I asked Mom to come in today to write for me because there's something I don't want Vincent to know quite yet. So I'm having Mom write this so he can read it one day. **_

_**Vincent, **_

_**You may be mad at me for keeping this a secret from you but…I had to…. I didn't know how you would react. Anyway, Mom took me to the hospital today while you were out with JT because there was something I wanted done. **_

_**You see…. **_

_**I felt split between two worlds—the living and the dead—and I wanted something I could give to you—that you could have even after I'm gone. So…. Based on my own decision, I went to see a gynecologist today. I asked her to remove a few of my eggs and store them in a freezer. This may sound weird but I wanted you to have what you've always wanted—a child. I know you say you don't need to have children to live your life but…. I would see the look on your face every time a little kid would walk by the window on their way home from school. You were depressed because you couldn't have any of your own…at least none with me. So that's why I did what I did. You don't have to use them…it's up to you but if you want to, my mom can give you all of the information you need. If…if you choose to use them….Heather has offered to be the surrogate mother. **_

_**I know this is probably a shock to you but if you're reading this right now, it's because I'm about to die or am already dead. As I tell you over and over again, I love you Vincent and even when I'm gone, I'll never stop loving you. **_

_**With all my love and my heart, **_

_**Catherine**_

I blink a few times…confused to what I had just read. I re-read it again and again to make sure I didn't read it incorrectly before looking at Catherine. "You did this for me?"

She looks at me weekly and nods slowly, forcing a smile. I kiss her temple as more tears spill from my eyes and hold her close to me. This woman is absolutely unbelievable! All this time, even while she was in pain, she still noticed my own sorrows too! "I love you, Catherine. So much." I kiss the back of her head and lean my head against her shoulder. "What am I ever going to do without you?!"

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: May 23****rd****, 2017**

**Vincent's POV**

Much to everyone's surprise, Catherine is still holding on. She's fighting hard and I'm very proud of her. But…I know…that soon, she's going to be tired of fighting and she'll want peace. After learning about the eggs Catherine had stored in a hospital freezer, I decided to go ahead with the in vitro fertilization. It's the least I can do for her. I mean, I know it may be a cruel thing for us to bring a baby into this world but…all things considered? I think we deserve to lead our lives the way we want for once. Heather, as Catherine had her mother write in her diary, agreed to the pregnancy and is now 6 weeks pregnant with our baby. We don't know the child's gender yet but it doesn't matter. We'll love this child despite gender.

Once again, a few weeks ago, Catherine requested to go back to the hospital since she doesn't think she'll be living through to the end of the month.

"Hey baby," I mutter softly to Catherine as I kiss her on the lips. "I'm sorry I am late; traffic was a bitch."

She looks so tired…almost lifeless. Her skin is as pale as chalk and her lips are chapped. Her teeth have started yellowing due to lack of calcium and her nails are chipping. Her skin is dry, hair is starting to fall out and she's lost almost a third of her weight because she can't eat properly.

"Heather is doing well with the baby; her next appointment will be tomorrow around noon and she's asked me to go with her to represent the Keller family. So, I'll be gone a few hours tomorrow."

She opens her mouth, as if to say something, but instead, she tries to gasp for air. "Catherine?"

She starts coughing as she struggles to breathe so I immediately press the PANIC button. As if on cue, Dr. Marks rushes in along with three nurses and he kindly asks me to leave the room. At first, I say no but he insists upon it so I walk out into the hallway and start calling her family.

Thirty minutes pass and still no word from Dr. Marks. Catherine's parents, Heather and I wait anxiously, praying for positive remarks but…odds are, it's unlikely. Over and over and over and over again, I prayed to God and begged Him not to take my wife away from me. I normally do not pray nor do I ask for things in prayer but…I feel like it's the only thing I can do.

Suddenly, Dr. Marks steps out of her room with a grave look on his face. "V-vincent…you may go in now."

I bolt into the room and stop dead in my tracks. There, I see Catherine lying on her hospital bed with a peaceful, weak smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, sir." A nurse sniffs. "We tried everything we could."

No! I won't believe it! I can't! I sit down in the chair next to her and take her hand in mine. Lifeless. "Come on, baby. Wake up!" I squeeze her hand a little harder and repeat myself, "Please, baby, love. Please! Wake up! Wake up, dammit!"

Nothing.

Not so much of a breath of air or a wiggle of the fingers.

I wrap my arms around her lifeless body and pull her close to me as endless tears fall from my eyes. "Please wake up, baby," my voice begs at a whisper.

"Vincent," I hear Dr. Marks say solemnly, "You need to let her go. Her family still needs to see her too."

"No!" I bark at him. "I'm not leaving her!"

"Vincent, be reasonable." He replies.

"NO!" I shout, glaring at him before I turn my attention to my Catherine. "Wake up, sweetie! You're just sleeping! Wake up, now! Come on, Catherine! WAKE UP DAMMIT!"

Again, my screaming, futile.

"CATHERINE!"

* * *

**Beauty and the Beast**

"_She suddenly fell into a coma and stopped breathing. Even at that critical moment, her heart continued to beat desperately, as if it was crying out, _

_"I'm hanging in! I won't give up!"_

_Although an artificial respirator was being used to keep her alive, her face bore a calm expression, as if she  
was sleeping comfortably. I wanted her to open her eyes wide and smile at us. I wanted us to talk together with our eyes, even for just one more time. "Aya, please look at me! Can you feel Mom's warmth?" Even though we knew there was no hope, we've managed to overcome so many hardships in the past . . . It seems  
too cruel to end like this . . . It's so sad! . . . If you're leaving us soon, Aya, you should say goodbye to us . . . Aya, can you understand what I'm saying?  
But she did not respond to our words or our touch. Your sisters, your brothers and Dad and I are all here. But we can only watch you. There's nothing we can do to  
help you . . . If only we could relieve you of even a little of your pain . . . Our bodies are twisted with sadness . . ._

_Aya's blood pressure started going down. Her heartbeat got slower as if its energy was fading away. I was_  
_trying to tell myself that the time was approaching to part from Aya in this world. I was wondering what kind of state she would want to be in when she ended her life. We switched on her favorite radio cassette deck beside her pillow. __It was around midnight._  
_Surrounded by her parents, her sisters and her brothers, listening to classical music with the volume turned down so that it wouldn't disturb anyone in the other rooms . . . The ripple mark on the electrocardiogram suddenly became a straight line. I remembered the words Aya had said before her condition deteriorated:_  
_"It would be so nice to fade away like falling asleep on a beautiful carped of flowers listening to my favorite music."_

_Aya passed away at 00:55 on May 23rd, 1988."_

_(The last piece of Aya's Diary, written by her mother, Shioka Kito)_

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **I think the ending speaks for itself to how I am feeling right now so no other comment except for one more chapter left.


	35. Epilogue

**Author's Note: **Thank you for all of your support in reading "One Litre of Tears." This is the final installment and I hope you continue reading my other works too! :)

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own BatB or "One Litre of Tears"**

**(Yet! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)**

* * *

One Litre of Tears

by: Keiko Fujiwara

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

**Beauty and the Beast**

**DATE: May 23, 2022**

**Vincent's POV**

I can't believe it's been five years since I lost Catherine; life without her seems like an eternity. I thought I wouldn't be able to move on after her death but…after our daughter was born a little over four years ago, I knew I had to keep living. Elizabeth, named after her mother's middle name, strongly resembles Catherine and I'm glad she does. Some people ask me if I have a hard time looking at little Lizzy but how can I? She's the light of my life and my only reason for being here.

I can't same I am the best father in the world because I'm not. I have my moments when I mess up and I always regret them but, no matter what happens, I will always be the best father I can be. About six months after Lizzy was born, I resumed my career as a doctor and Catherine's family generously volunteered to take care of Lizzy for me until she is old enough to start school. I hate not being around for her when I'm at work but how else am I to earn money as a single parent? I've mooched off of Catherine's family enough so it would be bothersome to keep asking them for money; I have to stand on my own feet now and face hardships like any other parent.

Today, however, I have the day off so, naturally, I decide to visit Catherine's grave. Right now, I don't think it's wise to bring Lizzy up here…She wouldn't understand why her Mommy is buried underneath the ground. One day, however, probably when she is seven, I'll start bringing her up here so she can learn the truth behind her mother's story.

"Hey baby…" I mutter to the grey tombstone surrounded by a bed of flowers, "This goes without saying, but, I miss you, Catherine," I place my hand on her grave, "There's not a day that goes by when I'm not thinking of you…and…of how much I wish things could have gone differently between us. As I've told you in the past, love, I decided to specialize in Neurology because I wanted to do the best I could to cure Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease….There's no cure as of yet but I feel like we're close to a breakthrough. I…I have a new patient…she has the same disease you had before you died…it was so hard to tell her of her fate but what else was I supposed to do? I didn't want to keep her in the dark…Unlike you, she's twelve…TWELVE! Her life has barely started and now…well…now, she will have the same fate as you did if there isn't a cure within the next ten to twenty years….I plan on telling her about you though and I will even lend her your printed journals for her to read; I hear they give every SCA patient comfort. You should be grateful you're still making a difference."

I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes before adding, "Lizzy misses you, sweety. She may not understand where you are right now but one day she will. She talks about you all the time when I come home from work and even draws you in her doodles. See? I even brought one of them so you can see it." I place the picture underneath my bouquet of lilies, "She's growing up to be such a beautiful, young lady, my love. She has your long, dark hair; you're complexion and even your eyes! She also has your attitude and your spunkiness. Oh Catherine, she's so much like you in many ways yet, she'll never get to meet you.

"Every six months, she has a check-up with Dr. Marks; so far, she has a healthy brain, Catherine. And, from what Evan hypothesizes; he believes that if she doesn't develop SCA by her 15th year, she won't develop it at all. However, he'll still continue to perform MRIs twice a year to make sure she stays healthy.

"Oh how I wish you could see her; you always wanted a child and…now that we're parents, you're not here to enjoy the blessings. I love you so much, Catherine, and I promise I'll come back here soon." I kiss my fingers and press them on the headstone before standing up and recomposing myself.

"Daddy? Why you cry?" a small voice asks from behind me. I turn around and see Tom, Vanessa and Heather standing behind me with Lizzy standing in front of them.

"Sorry, Vincent;" Heather apologizes, "We couldn't find a sitter for her and I have to go to work soon; I didn't think it would be too much of a problem to bring her up here."

"Thanks," I smile as I wipe my tears away, "Thanks to all of you for always being there for me and Lizzy. I honestly don't know how I would be able to manage without you." I walk over to Lizzy and pick her up before kissing her cheek.

"You're family, Vincent," Vanessa grins. "And so is Lizzy."

I smile at them with gratitude but turn towards my daughter when she pokes me in the cheek. "What is it, love?"

"You cheeks wet." She points out. "Why?"

"I was upset, honey, but I'm okay now." I reply as I give her a tight squeeze.

"Oh…What's that?" she points to the gravestone.

"That," I pause, "is where I can come and talk to your mommy, Lizzy. You want to say something to her?"

Her eyes open very widely with excitement as she tries to wiggle out of my arms. "Woah there." I chuckle as I place her down on the grass. She runs up to the gravestone and stares at it. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Where she go? I don't see her."

I crouch behind her and pull her into my arms. "She's here, trust me, little one. She's here."

She nods her head and starts speaking as if she's been talking to her mother since birth. "Hiiiiiii, Mommmmmyyyyy! Daddy and me misses you soooo much! Daddy says I cannot see you anymores so that makes me sad. I see pich-chards of you at home and you pretty; you look happy and I think the chair you was in look-ed fun! I knows you gone now but Daddy cries when he should sleep like me. I cry too but not like him. I knows Daddy says you sleeping in Heaven but…can you come back?! We miss you, Mommy! Please come back!" she starts crying. "Daddy cries…he be happy to see you again." She turns around and faces me. "Bring Mommy back, Daddy! Bring her back so you be happy again!"

"Oh honey!" I pull her into my arms, "It doesn't work like that."

"I want my mommy!" she cries as tears stream down her face.

"I know you do, sweet one; I know you do." I mutter to her as I start to leave the gravesite so Catherine's family can have their time with her. But, before I take more than five steps away from the grave, I stop in midstride. "Perhaps," I say to them without turning around, "Perhaps Catherine touched more lives than we ever anticipated."

I hear them walk up from behind me so they can see what I'm currently seeing. "Honey, look." I whisper to Lizzy but she shakes her head vigorously. "Will you look for me?"

Slowly, she turns her head around and her hazel eyes, still stained with tears, widen with a mixture of shock and confusion. "Who they, Daddy?"

"Everyone…your mother helped when she was here." I mutter to her as we all watch a large crowd of people either walking up the hill or rolling in a wheelchair. Many are carrying bouquets of flowers and little notes in their hands.

"There's hundreds of people, Dad!" Heather exclaims. "HUNDREDS!"

"I see that…" Thomas replies, at a loss for words.

I look back towards the gravestone and knowing she can hear me, my heart whispers, _"You met your dream, Catherine and you were finally able to make a difference in hundreds of peoples' lives. I am so proud of you, my love."_

"_Live on…"_

I turn around and look at Heather. "Did you say something?"

"No…why? What did you hear?" she asks with curiosity.

"Nothing," I shake my head, "I guess it was just a whisper of the wind." _Catherine's whisper…._

**Beauty and the Beast**

* * *

**Keiko Fujiwara: **And that's that! END of _One Litre of Tears_! Please review what you thought of the story as a whole! Do you like these sad stories or do you want more happy ones? Let me know!

* * *

**The titles of each chapter are English lyrics I wrote based off of the **_**One Litre of Tears**_**'s theme song: **_**Only Human**_** by K. **

**Here is the original translation: **

_It's said that there is a smile  
On the opposite side of sadness_

It's said that there is a smile  
On the opposite side of sadness  
Up ahead from where I'm going to arrive at  
Just what is it that's waiting for me?

I should have set off, not to run away  
But to chase my dreams, back on that far off summer day

If I could have even seen what tomorrow would be like, I wouldn't have been able to breathe  
So now I move forward  
In order to go against the current, like a boat

It's said that happiness waits  
In places that have been consumed by sadness  
I'm still searching for  
A sunflower at the end of the season

If I clench my fists, and wait for the morning sun to come  
After my finger nails became bloody, my tears would fall

If I've grown used to being lonely  
By the moonlight  
I'll fly away with my featherless wings  
I'll move futhur on ahead

If a rain cloud bursts  
Then the wet road will sparkle  
That's what the darkness tells me  
The strong, strong light  
I'll move forward, and be strong

* * *

**Here is the opening theme song on YOUTUBE: (add this blurbage to the end of 'youtube*dot*com): **watch?v=_qa3l6w7Uoc

**Here is the English Version, Sung by me: **watch?v=IXXCjQ6xRek

**Full Diary of Aya Kito: **wholediaryofaya*DOT*blogspot*DOT*com/

**Full **_**One Litre of Tears**_** J-Drama (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WATCH THIS): **www*DOT*gooddrama*DOT*net/japanese-drama/1-litre-o f-tears

Let me know if any of the links do not work. :)


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